Chasing Tyler

Josh entered the new coffee shop finding it a hive of activity. There was a line along the display cases and both registers were being utilized trying to keep up with flow of customers. As he moved to the back of the line, he scanned the seating area looking for a place to sit, knowing the chances of finding a table were slim. There was only one table in the middle of the room and three women moved to it just as he saw it. The outside seating along the sidewalk was worse, for the day was a surprisingly mild summer day, scattered clouds cutting the heat of the sun and a breeze from the west coming down the mountains.

He looked at his social media site checking again for anything from Tyler. It had been two weeks since the night in Charlotte and Tyler had been ignoring his texts and voicemails. He had driven by Tyler’s house once hoping he had returned, but with the garage on the rear of the house he couldn’t tell if Tyler was home or not.

Finally at the register, Josh ordered, paid, then stepped to the side to wait. He watched others take their orders and move into the seating area taking any table that came available, or out the doors to sit somewhere outside, knowing most were probably taking a public bench or sitting on the low retaining wall around the planter across the street.

“Josh!” the guy behind the counter called out.

Josh took his order, slipped a straw into it, and headed for the door for all the tables were occupied. On the sidewalk, he surveyed the seating provided by the coffee shop seeing all were taken. He looked across the street at the benches, then to his left. He froze, not sure what he should do. Coming toward him was Jonathan Robbins, Tyler’s father. There was a desire to flee, to take off to his right and find someplace to sit, but he couldn’t move his feet as Jonathan got closer and closer.

“You’re Joshua Davis,” said Jonathan.

“Yes, sir.”

“Can we talk?”

“You want to talk to me?”

“If you don’t mind. We can go to the garden center and sit in my office.”

“Can we sit somewhere else?” Josh replied.

“Sure, let’s go sit along the trail,” Jonathan replied, referring to the walking trail that ran through town.

It was surreal, sitting with Jonathan Robbins, Tyler’s father, on a bench at the edge of the walking trail. Bird song came from the trees and up on the bridge children’s voices, loud and joyful as they rode over on bicycles. Fifty yards down the trail a couple approached, a slow stroll while holding hands. Josh avoided looking at Jonathan instead leaning forward resting arms on knees and staring down at the ground. All he could think was this was the person who beat up Tyler and caused him to run away. To rush back to Raleigh where he worked part time and went to college.

“I don’t know what Tyler told you but…”

“You beat him up!” Josh interrupted, rounding around to stare down Jonathan.

“What? No, no, that isn’t true.”

“He was bruised and had a black eye.”

“But…” Jonathan stammered, then looked up and sighed. “We did get into an argument. He accused me of abusing his mother and making her leave.”

“Didn’t you?”

“No. She…was…a narcissist. She struggled with showing empathy and knew it was hurting Tyler. She tried but…we did argue, far too much and I know Tyler heard it. I thought we had found a good compromise but one day I came home to find her gone.”

“You don’t know where she went?”

“I got a letter about two months later from Memphis but when I tried to find her, she had moved on. She had left Memphis the day she mailed the letter.”

“Does Tyler know this?”

Jonathan didn’t reply.

“And the fight between Tyler and you?”

“He found out I rummaged through his room and accused me of being homophobic when he saw I had found a couple of books, but that wasn’t it. I was looking for a letter, or something that would tell me where Amber had gone. I assumed she might be in contact with him. When he came home that day he was already agitated, really upset and we ended up arguing about his mother, he demanding to know what I had done to make her leave and me trying to foolishly protect him. I know I was just making him angry…so very angry. He charged at me, and we went down on the coffee table. It collapsed under us and then we crashed into a side table, and I tried to push him away. I pushed out and hit him in the eye with the palm of my hand. I didn’t mean to hit him like that. He wouldn’t let me look after him. Not surprised he went to James.”

“What about him being gay?”

Jonathan shook his head. “I don’t care about that. Boy, I’ve really fucked this up. I did tell him the truth. About Amber and why she left, and that is when he stormed out and went back to Raleigh.”

“So, he does know the truth.”

“Yes, and…did he say anything about it?”

“Said his family was messed up, and he was too. Told me to forget about him.”

“Dammit. Tyler…”

“Do you have his address in Raleigh?”

“Yes,” Jonathan replied, taking out his cellphone. “Can I get your number? I assume you’re going to Raleigh to talk to him. I’d appreciate it if you let me know if he is doing okay.”

Despite everything, Josh looked at Jonathan with a smile.

Josh drove down the street that separated campus from a commercial area. Restaurants, bars, and shops that catered to the students and faculty lined the street. Since it was summer there were only a few students strolling the sidewalks. He looked for a place to park, knowing parking on campus was a problem for visitors and he would rather walk after the drive from Lincolnton. At the next side street, he turned and moved into the neighborhood until parking was allowed on the street and he pulled to the curb behind a truck.

A few minutes later, Josh was walking across the campus feeling like an intruder. Someone who wasn’t supposed to be there. James had told him not worry about it, that no one would question him or even care. He passed one building after the next until finally standing in front of Morrocroft Hall. From outside with the sun reflecting off the windows, it looked dark and empty, but the front door swung open, and a guy came out. Josh found himself staring for the guy was shirtless, wearing just jogging shorts. The guy had average good looks and an average build, but to Josh it was sexually appealing, the simple nature of his masculine form.

Josh stood to the side and let the guy pass, then he climbed the steps up to the front doors. The lobby was empty. He could hear music playing, but it was muted and from where it came, he couldn’t tell. In front of him were the two elevators and he moved to them, pressing the button to summon one.

At the third floor the doors slid open. Josh hesitated, took a deep breath, then stepped out into an empty corridor. He heard a television, and saw a door open a short distance down the hall. He pulled up the address on his phone again, worried he would mix up the dorm room number. Then he moved down the corridor looking at the number on each door until he came to 315. It was closed and no sound was coming from within. He knocked, then waited. After a long few seconds, he knew Tyler wasn’t inside.

Tyler was jogging around campus, pushing himself to the point of exhaustion. It was one of the only ways he could make himself not obsess over what happened back in Charlotte. He knew he should not have done it, but he had to admit to himself he did like Josh, felt attracted toward him. When he was honest, he had to admit he had been since his senior year in high school and Josh had turned sixteen. The way he had grown tall and filled out enough to reveal his masculine nature. Tyler had, up to that point, obsessed over James. It was James he had developed fantasies of a relationship, knowing it would never happen. And all through this futile attraction, Josh had been there, on the periphery. In hindsight, it should have been obvious to him that it was Josh who was like him. The one who desired the companionship of another male. The looks of longing, eyes following his every move, or when he was shirtless, admittedly showing off his body, those eyes looking at him with desire.

Then to have his fantasy become reality, to have Josh in bed with him. The sex had been better than he ever imagined. At times it aroused him to think of it, but it also pained him, broke his heart to think he didn’t deserve Josh, that he was too broken.

Broken.

What did he even mean by that? He felt torn about his guilt. Was it his fault his parents divorced? Was it his fault his mother had issues that made her distant, someone who could not be the mother he wanted? As a boy he didn’t understand it and with his mother trying to overcome her faults, they had managed a false sense of security in their relationship. But it didn’t last, and he knew there was no way it could have lasted. But he felt guilt, and felt like maybe, in some way, he was his mother’s son; broken and lacking something of his humanity. Or that is what he told himself, even as his heart broke with his leaving Josh in that hotel room. He felt his humanity, felt desire, want, felt empathy toward Josh, fearful of hurting him worse than he had already done. He didn’t feel like he suffered from his mother’s condition, but his irrational fear made it difficult to think otherwise.

He rounded the College of Design and headed back west along Stinson Drive. He followed the road as it snaked between buildings then ran straight until at Cox Hall. He turned right and ran across the large circular grass area, following the winding walks, then around one building or another until his dorm came into view. He slowed, then walked, hands on hips to the dorm as he allowed his body to slow down, his breathing return to normal.

He entered the building with sweat cascading down his torso further soaking his jogging shorts. The interior felt frigid at first, the air-conditioned air quickly cooling his skin, and he suddenly wanted a shower to get cleaned up.

The elevator took forever to arrive on the ground floor, something he had never grew accustom, always impatient for its arrival. The doors slid open, and he stepped in, hitting the button for the third floor. He stood in the middle of the cab not wanting to let his sweaty body touched the walls and watched the light change from one, to two, then three and felt the cab come to a stop. The doors slid open, and he stepped out and headed to his room.

After few steps he looked ahead and froze. Sitting on the floor at his door was Josh. It took his breath away and he stumbled, then gathered himself together and approached him. As he neared, Josh looked up and watched him draw near. There was that smile. The curl of lips and dimples forming on either side. The eyes followed his approach and softened when he stopped a few feet away.

“What are you doing here?” asked Tyler.

“You know why.”

“You should go home.”

“Let’s go inside and talk,” Josh replied, ignoring Tyler telling him to leave.

Tyler sighed then waited for Josh to get to his feet and move to the side. He unlocked then pushed open the door, motioning for Josh to enter. The room was very dimly lit, the blinds at the lone window closed allowing only the smallest slivers of light to enter the room. Josh went to the desk and rolled the chair out and sat. Tyler moved to his bed on the opposite side of the room and sat, pushing back until he could lean against the wall.

“Tyler…” Josh uttered then hesitated, working out what to say. Tyler sat silent, waiting. “I talked to your father.”

“You what?”

“I talked to your father. He said he didn’t abuse you.  Is that true?”

Tyler stared at Josh, then slowly nodded.

“Why did you lie about it?”

“I was trying to get him isolated from everyone and…”

“And in turn, cause you to get isolated too.”

“Something like that.”

“He told me about your mother,” Josh whispered.

Tyler wiped his eyes, then looked toward the closed windows as if he could see outside.

“She has problems,” Tyler uttered.

“And you think you do too.”

“I’m her son. I have parts of her in me and…”

“But you’re not like her in the way you fear. You have empathy. You care about others. Look at what you’ve done to protect people, thinking they needed to be shielded from you. It’s nonsense.”

“What’s nonsense?”

“We need to be protected from you.”

“Do you really think you could have a happy life with someone like me?”

“Happy…” Josh whispered the word, rolled it around in his mind, considered the fairytale it spoke of. “Not all the time. No one can expect such a perfect life. But I could feel contentment, a sense of security in life, if I had someone to share it.”

“And you think I’m that person.”

“I hope so. I willing to find out.”

Tyler smiled.

Josh leaned forward, elbows on knees, and continued. “I want to go out with you. I want us to go on dates. Dinner and a movie, or lunch in a park, or a weekend at the beach or in the mountains. I want to learn more about you, to really know you as much as one person can know another. Don’t you want that?”

Tyler stared at Josh and seemed to be barely breathing. After a long pause, he finally responded.

“Yeah…I’d like that.”

“Then why run from me?”

“Because…my family…mother…”

“That isn’t you. Yes, you have aspects of your mother, but I’ve not seen the bad aspects.”

“What will your parents say? What about James?”

“I’d like to think my parents will accept it, but whether, or not they accept it is not going to govern what I do. I’m going to live my own life. And James…” Josh smiled at Tyler, “well, he’s been supportive”

“Dad will freak out.”

“You know that isn’t true.”

“I guess.”

Josh eased up and moved to the bed. He climbed over it and sat next to Tyler. He took his hand in both of his and held it. The room became silent as they sat next to each other. Time passed, slowly, as the world outside continued. A guy came back to the dorm, backpack over one shoulder. Another jogged across campus. On the floor below four were sitting on the floor and bed of a room playing video games. In a room down the corridor, another was communicating through his email with a girlfriend who was on the west coast, vacationing with her family.

Josh lay on his back, shirt unbuttoned and pushed open revealing his torso. His jeans and boxers lay on the floor, where Tyler had tossed them. Josh felt the smooth skin of Tyler’s chest against the back of his legs as Tyler moved over him. His legs pushed down until knees touched his chest and his ass lifted from the bed. Against them he felt Tyler’s undulating body, the pressure of a push, then the relief as the body rose. He clutched the bed as he felt Tyler onto top and within, cock boring into his depths. It was the sensation that drove his own arousal, made his cock so hard it drooled onto his stomach. The slow push into his depths and the tug outward.

“Tyler,” Josh uttered as he put his hands on Tyler’s waist. He felt the smoothness of the skin, firm and flexing with the movement of their sex. He felt the heat of it, and he squeezed, fingers digging in, desperate, wanting, a physical pleading. “Fuck me,” he uttered pushing upward to take Tyler as deeply as he could.

Tyler held himself up on his hands and increased his pace, thrusting into Josh harder and harder, his pace quickening along with his arousal. His body grew hot, feverish, with beads of sweat forming. It trickled down his face and chest. Some dripped hotly down on Josh. It smeared between them making their skin slick against the other.

Tyler fucked. Fucked as hard as he could. All his pent-up desires and needs unwinding with his exertions until he was exhausted.

“Roll over,” Tyler whispered as he pulled free and got on his knees.

Josh got on his knees and elbows and looked over his shoulder as Tyler moved over him. He watched Tyler kiss his way up his back and felt the slick chest slide over it. He felt hands rub around his waist, up his stomach and chest, holding him in a tight embrace. Then they guided him to lay on his stomach. He felt Tyler between his legs, then cock rub over his ass, press against it, then Tyler put it to his loosened opening and sink into his depths.

“I do want you…so much,” Tyler uttered as he began to fuck again. He pushed inward slowly then tugged outward, over and over.

Josh felt every penetrating push into his depths. The fullness of Tyler’s cock buried inside him. It made his own rock hard, and he undulated his hips, pushing upward to take Tyler and pushing down to feel his own cock pressed into the bed. He undulated in rhythm with Tyler, the two moving as one. It was animalistic, primitive, their movement. Skin glistened wetly and lungs sucked in air, desperate for oxygen in overheated bodies.

“Tyler…please…” Josh uttered as he clutched the bed and pushed upward.

Tyler increased his pace, lifting himself on hands and knees. He thrust harder, faster, his need for release overwhelming. Hips smacked against ass. Moans and grunts echoed in the small room. The bed squeaked with their exertions.

“Fuck me…fuck me, harder,” Josh pleaded.

Tyler piston cock inside Josh at a rapid pace. Thrust with all his might, hammering hips against ass. He fucked until his muscles burned. Then he finally felt it, the sweet release that coursed through his body. His cock grew harder, thicker, as he shoved it into Josh’s depths. He ground his hips against Josh’s ass and came.

Josh rolled over next to Tyler, cock hard and leaking. Tyler took it in hand and slowly stroked it. Teasingly, toyed with the wet head with his fingers. Josh shivered and tried to pull away.

“Tyler, stop.”

“No,” Tyler replied, suddenly moving around. He straddled Josh and pushed his half-hard cock wetly up the smooth chest. He rubbed his ass over Josh’s hard cock feeling it flex beneath him. He rocked his hips back and forth until wet from it.

“Tyler,” Josh uttered, his voice full of need and want.

Tyler rose on his knees and took Josh in hand. He moved down to the hard cock and rubbed his opening over the wet head until Josh was pushing upward. Then he lowered himself down on it. He shuddered at the feel of penetration. But it wasn’t enough, and he eased down further, letting it fill him. Hands came down on his thighs and he felt the fingers dig into the tightening muscle. The grip spoke to their desperation. He moved upward, then down, slowly, feeling every inch tug and pull at his opening. He felt every inch inside him, the way it made him feel the fullness of penetration. As it stroked his desires, he increased his pace. As Josh pleaded and begged him to fuck harder, he increased his pace again. And once again, the bed rocked and squeaked beneath them, and their exertions overheated their bodies until skin glistened wetly.

Then Josh was shuddering, shoving upward with every ejaculation as he came.

Josh rested his head against the cool tile as the hot spray of the shower rained down over them. Hands held his waist and cock bore into his depths. Tyler moved inside him with a steady rhythm. A push inward until bodies smacked together, then a tug outward. Over and over and he stroked his own cock in rhythm to their fuck. Tyler leaned against his back and kissed along his spine until at the back of the neck. A kiss to the skin and the rake of a nose through his wet hair. The hands moved from his waist. They moved around to his undulating stomach, then one rubbed upward over his chest and the other moved downward, through pubic hair until it knocked his own hand away and took him. He braced himself on the wall and gave himself entirely to Tyler. He took his cock and let the hands manipulate him until he was crying out. He shuddered, then thrust through the fist, spraying the wall with his second load.

Tyler held him in a tight embrace and shuddered with his own release.

It was only two years. Just two short years but so much had changed for Josh. He drove into Lincolnton on his summer break. He would return in the fall a Junior. He drove through the commercial area near 321 and soon came into downtown. He circled the courthouse while thinking of his conversation that morning with James. Finished with college, James was in Charlotte looking for a place to live, for that was where his girlfriend had gotten a job. Their parents were happy to have him close, making comments they had worried both of their sons would leave once finished with college. He knew they thought he would leave the area for some city far away. But it was two years before he would graduate and there was a lot that could happen in the meantime.

He turned west back on Main Street and drove to the outskirts of town. He saw the sign for Wild Rose Garden Shop and slowed to turn in. It was a Saturday, and he knew Tyler would be working with his father in the shop. Tyler had graduated and come back to Lincolnton, biding his time until Josh got his degree. Then they would decide the next step in their lives. Josh pictured them living in an urban area, one full of diversity and acceptance, each working in their field of study. He pictured an apartment and a dog they would walk in parks on weekends. He pictured a normal life, cooking dinner together and evenings spent watching some old movie or sitting silently together each lost in a novel. He pictured waking up next to Tyler every morning.

Josh pulled into the parking lot and made his way inside. There were flowering plants in decorative pots lining the front window. Inside there was a sale table covered in seed for anyone wanting to start a late crop and down every aisle the products one might need to garden or maintain a yard. He scanned the room until he saw on the far side a man standing in an aisle looking down. Tyler stood up and held out a pair of gloves. He watched the transaction between the customer and Tyler. The man nodded as Tyler spoke, then he took the gloves from him. Tyler pointed to a wall display for safety gear. Eye goggles, ear protection, knee pads and coveralls with reinforced legs and chest pads. The man moved toward it and Tyler turned to head back to the counter when he stopped. He saw Josh and smiled.