Car Rental

The trip to the hospital took over two hours; scenery just blurred by. The coaches suggested that I try to sleep, but I was too excited to see Cameron again. I was also terrified; they were told that Cameron was so ill that he would not survive the night. I couldn’t believe that I was meant to find him only to lose him again. I followed them into the hospital entrance. Night had already fallen, and a chill was in the air.

A police officer was sent to meet us and take us to Cameron’s room. The ride up took forever. When the elevator doors opened, I stepped out and looked around. The halls were dim, and only a few hospital personnel were present, and all were busy at their tasks.

“It’s this way,” said the officer. He pointed me down an adjacent hall. I saw another officer guarding a door. “This is Jake Adams,” the first officer said to the second as he opened the door for me.

I stood in the doorway and looked at the figure on the bed. It was Cameron. I rushed forward. Cameron looked up at me. “Jake. Oh, Jake. It’s good to see you.”

I saw bruises on Cameron’s head, his neck, and his arms. His entire stomach was one large purple splotch. I reached out to hold his hand. “I should have come for you, Cam. I’m sorry.”

“I love you, Jake. They hurt me because I love you. They didn’t let me leave, and I don’t… That part’s all foggy. But at the grocery store, I saw a box of stuffing. Then my head started to hurt, and I remembered everything.

“I know. But you’re in the hospital now. They’ll take care of you. I love you, Cam. I never told you that. I do.”

“You didn’t have to tell me, Jake. I saw it in your eyes. I knew by the way you touched me and kissed me. I should have never let Beth decide. I should have written her a letter. She had her father and brothers beat me. My own father helped them. They beat me. They say they were going to beat my love for you away. They told me you were evil, but I knew better.”

I heard the door open. I looked back as a woman in scrubs came in.

“That’s Doctor Lisa,” said Cam.

“You’re Jake?” she asked, nodding as she said it. It wasn’t a question; it was a confirmation.

“Yes, ma’am,” I said as I fought back tears. “Is he going to be alright?” I bit my lower lip.

“I’m not, Jake. Something’s wrong with my brain. Tell him so he’ll understand.”

The doctor put her arm on me. “His brain was traumatized months ago. I can see evidence of the damage. He’s been recently retraumatized. Today, he had a series of strokes. That’s why he collapsed. There’s no explanation of why his memory came back. Unfortunately, there’s nothing we can do for such extensive damage. I’ve explained to Cameron that surgery is not possible, and the medication we’re using is unlikely to help him recover.”

“No,” was all I could say.

“Can Jake get here next to me so I can hold him?”

“Sure,” said Doctor Lisa. “Just don’t pull your IVs out. Will you gentlemen help him?”

With the help of the officers, I got next to Cameron. I kissed his cheek. He wrapped his arm around my back. He no longer had the strength to pull me closer. I snuggled up to him and whispered that I loved him.

His fingers moved along my shoulder, and I remembered the first time we got into bed.

“Jake, I want you to be happy. You’ve made my life happy. You made me realize that many of the things I’ve been taught about God were wrong. There are still things God wants you to do. I don’t know what they are but look for them. The people who did this to me and so many others, I’m sure, will be punished. Their hatred cannot stand. Promise me you won’t be sad for me. I’ll be with God.”

“I won’t be sad for you, Cameron. But I will be sad for me. God will have you, but I won’t.” My nose became stuffy as tears filled my eyes and spilled down my cheeks.

“There’s someone out there for you,” he continued. “I know it. Hold onto that.” He kissed the top of my head and rubbed my shoulder again.

I laid there moving my fingers across his chest. I’m not sure how long. I felt his hand fall away, and his chest stopped moving. A machine next to the bed made a solid tone. Cameron had gone to live with God.

Personal hell cannot be medicated away. My parents were concerned that I wanted to return to school; my mother suggested another stay at the hospital, but I convinced them I would have weekly meetings with a counselor. I’m sure my medication helped. The doctor prescribed ten Xanax tablets in case I started to feel anxious. I kept them hidden in my underwear drawer. I knew they were there if I needed them.

One big change in my life was reading the Bible. I’d gone to church as a kid, but I’d fallen away after starting high school. Cameron was so positive about things that I knew it deserved another look.

My one big guilt was that my sex drive seemed as strong as always, but instead of wanting to look for someone to have a regular relationship with, I just wanted someone to spend an evening with. I rationalized that my need for sex would finally bring me to the person with whom I’d spend the rest of my life with. But I knew I couldn’t just sleep with everyone until I found him.

There had to be someone out there that I could be friends with first. A relationship that was slowly built until it was love. But I just wanted to fuck someone. I was able to resist the temptations until two weekends before spring break. It was a Friday night, and I didn’t want to go back to my room. I stopped into the library and headed upstairs to a corner that had always been quiet. No one was around, and there were a few scattered books on the tables. I glanced at them to see if any might be interesting enough to pick up. As I scanned, I thought that one of the books had sex in the title.

I walked closer to it. “Human Sexuality.” My mindset became that of a middle school boy. I wondered whether there might be pictures in it. A silly thought, I knew, since I could look at pictures on my computer of just about anything. I picked up the book and skimmed the pages. I put the book back down and sighed. I was bored and considered going back to my room when I heard a cart come from my left. I looked over and saw one of the students I had tutored two semesters before.

His name was Ryan Powers. What struck me most about him, at least physically, is that he stood about five-six. He did not appear to have grown any. He was a pleasant-looking guy who was so serious about his work. He looked up from the cart and smiled at me. He wheeled closer. “Hi, Jake.”

“Hello, Ryan. How’ve you been?”

“I’ve been OK. I’m just as neurotic as ever,” he chuckled.

“What’s with the cart?” I asked.

He laughed. “It’s a real chick magnet.”

I nodded. “I see.”

“Yeah, unfortunately, I’m not into chicks.”

“No?” I raised my eyebrows.

“I would have told you when you were my tutor, but it didn’t seem appropriate.” He leaned over and picked up a book from the table and put it on the cart.

I reached over and picked up another book and handed it to him. “Why would it not have been appropriate?”

“I don’t know. I guess because there were rumors you were gay, but you didn’t seem gay to me. I was embarrassed because I thought you were handsome.” Ryan's cheeks reddened.

“So, you thought I was handsome. You don’t think so anymore?” I asked.

“You’re still handsome,” he mumbled before retrieving the other books and putting them on the cart.

“What time do you get off work? I assume you’re working, right?”

“This is my last table. I just have to push the cart over to that desk.” He was looking at the ground.

“Let’s go do something,” I said. “Have some fun.”

“Like what?” he asked.

“I don’t know. If we had a fire, I’d cuddle up with you, stare into the flames, drink hot chocolate, and get to know you better.”

“That sounds like a date, and guys like you don’t date guys like me,” he looked back at the ground as he pushed the cart.

“What are you talking about? Of course, they do,” I told him. “Who said they don’t?”

“A couple of guys at the last frat party I went to.”

“I bet they’d been drinking a looking for a butt to fuck.”

“Isn’t that what you’re doing?” He looked directly at me.

“Maybe. I don’t know yet. You’re cute, and I’m horny. That doesn’t mean I’m going to sneak into the men’s room with you and walk out content, pretending that I’ve never met you.”

“I’m horny, too, Jake. And you’re cute; well, you’re more than cute. But I’m a virgin, and I don’t know if I’m ready to give that up.”

“Hey, I’m cool with that. We don’t even have to do more than just talk to each other.”

Ryan pushed the cart into place. “Where should we go to talk?”

“I’ll buy you a taco,” I grinned.

“You say that like it’s a joke, but I don’t get it.”

“It’s not a joke; tacos are cheap. That’s all.”

“So I’m not worth spending money on. Is that it?”

“OK. Tomorrow, I’ll take you to dinner in the Fondren Hall Cafeteria. How about that?”

Ryan laughed. “I complain about how much you're going to spend on me and you offer me a meal that won’t cost you anything.”

“Are you always this difficult?” I asked.

Ryan put his hand on my upper arm. “Let’s have a taco. But I think we should go dutch.”

“Don’t want to owe me anything, huh?” I stepped closer to him. He tilted his head up to look at me. I touched the side of his face with my hand. The look in his eyes told me that he wanted me to kiss him. I bent forward. “Let’s get those tacos.”

The taco stand at the edge of the university had picnic tables for customers. Ryan and I sat at one in the back. We munched on tacos, drank Coke, and talked about our classes. The conversation didn’t become personal, and I couldn’t determine whether it was because he wasn’t interested or too shy. We finished the tacos and walked to the dorms. Both of us still had some of our drinks left, and we sipped on them as we sauntered back. As we neared my hall, Ryan thanked me. “I’ll see you later.” He headed away.

I continued back to my room. I hadn’t expected Ryan to go to bed with me, but it was fun sparring with him. I had hoped he would open up after we started talking, especially after putting him at ease with a taco. I stood at my door. I didn’t want to go inside. I sat down in front of my door and pulled my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around my legs. I leaned my head against the door.

From time to time, someone would walk by, but no one said anything to me until Arnold walked up. “Did you lock yourself out?” he asked as he sat next to me.

“No, I just didn’t want to go in.”

“I get it. Sometimes I just don’t want to look at those walls.”

“Yeah,” I agreed.

“Sometimes, when I get like that, I lay on my back and look at the ceiling. I pretend some hot babe is riding me, you know.” Arnold started to get back up. “Too bad I’m not gay. You’re a good-looking guy, and we could have fun.”

“You’re too much, Arnold,” I chuckled. I stood up.

“I agree with part of what he said.”

I turned and saw Ryan standing near me.

I heard Arnold behind me. “Don’t wake me up,” he giggled.

“So, what did he say that you agree with?” I asked.

“We could have a lot of fun.”

“Why don’t we go inside and discuss it,” I tried to say in a business-like manner. I opened the door and let him into my room.

“When’s your roommate going to be back?”

“I don’t have one.” I sat on the bed that I didn’t use. It was still covered with a blanket.

Ryan moved to face me. “Have you ever met a guy just to have sex with him?”

“I tried once, but it was a fail. I have slept with someone after we had dinner on our first date. I’m not a saint, but I don’t sleep with everyone I meet.”

“When you didn’t try to get me to come up here with you, I realized that, and that made me feel more comfortable. I told you earlier that I was attracted to you when I first met you, and I want to know what it’s like to be with someone. I think you’ll treat me right even though we’re not in love, you know.”

“I understand.”

He remained standing in the same place as though he were studying me.

“Why don’t you take your shoes off,” I glanced down at his feet.

Ryan sat next to me and removed his shoes. I removed mine, too. He remained in the same place looking forward. “Come here.” I reached over and let him take my hand. He moved back in front of me and between my knees. I moved back so my knees were together and at the edge of the bed. I guided him toward me. With my hands on his butt, I pulled him closer. “Put your knees around my hips.”

With Ryan sitting on my knees, and his knees next to my waist, our eyes were almost even with one another. I moved my hands around his waist. I could tell that he was breathing harder and faster. “Are you OK?”

He gave me a little nod. “Are you going to make me… um… ride you? I saw it in a video once and it looked uncomfortable.”

“I’m not going to make you do anything. We’ll only do what you’re comfortable with.”

“I’m so nervous, but I want to do everything.” Ryan kept looking at my lips and then back at my eyes.

“Ryan, we can do everything you want, but remember, it doesn’t all have to happen tonight. Maybe it will, but it’s not a one-night stand with a stranger. We’re getting to know one another.” I kissed him gently with my lips slightly parted. I kissed his upper lip and then his lower.

He pulled slightly back. “Oh, fuck,” he whispered. “That was so nice.” I noticed he was breathing in short shallow breaths.

“Slow, deep breathing. You don’t want to hyperventilate and pass out.”

“You wouldn’t ravage me if I fainted, would you?” His smile told me he trusted me.

“No, I just have to cuddle you until you woke up.” I leaned in and kissed him again. This time, I allowed my tongue to barely graze his lips. He responded in kind, and we spent several minutes kissing and exploring with our hands.

“Jake?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I feel your chest?”

“Help me get my shirt off,” I told him. “You want to take yours off, too?”

“Sure,” he answered quickly. We slipped out of our shirts, and Ryan immediately put his hands on my chest. “I’ve dreamed about this moment. Touching another guy, a man. And the kissing.” He lowered his head and kissed my pecs and my nipples. His lips traveled up to my neck to below my ear.

I felt my dick swell as he licked the area around my ear. As his mouth neared mine, I moved my hands between his legs. His dick was rock hard and pointing up. I wanted to pick him up and toss him on his back and suck him off. But I had promised to be gentle. I massaged his crotch.

“I want to feel your weight on top of me.”

“Hmm?” I wasn’t sure I understood.

I want to feel your body between my legs with you on top of me. I want to feel you, the weight of you, pushing me down into the bed.”

“Slide back and stand on the floor.” Once he was standing in front of me again, I unbuttoned his pants and hooked my finger into his underwear, I pushed both to the floor. He was now standing before me completely naked. “A perfect body,” I told him.

“But I…” he started.

“You have a perfect body. Strong shoulders, flat stomach, muscular legs, handsome face.”

I stood up. The top of his head came to less than a half-inch below my chin. I removed my shorts and briefs, and as my head came up, I kissed him again. I resisted the continuing urge to suck him. His hand brushed against my dick. “Why don’t you get into the bed,” I requested.

He turned and stepped over to my bed. He tugged the sheet and blanket down and got in. I moved in over him and positioned myself between his legs. I purposely moved my boner against his as I settled onto him. I kissed him yet again, this time with more passion. He replied by pushing his tongue farther forward. I sucked the tip of it and pulled it into my mouth.

Ryan’s hands wrapped around my chest. His legs moved up and encircled my waist. I let his tongue slip back. “I could stay like this forever,” he told me.

We remained in that position for several minutes. I explored his mouth with my tongue, and he moaned as I did so. The vibrations of his pleasure tickled my lips. I pulled my head up slightly. “I need to taste your cock,” I told him. He loosened his grip, and I slid farther down under the covers.

His dick was still rock hard. Precum dripped from the slit, and I swallowed his entire shaft into my mouth and throat. He was thicker than I had expected, I’m not sure why. His body jerked as the head of his penis popped into my throat. With my right hand, I gripped his ball sack just above his testicles and tugged down slightly. I began to move up and down the shaft. His dick twitched in my mouth. I had just achieved a good in and out movement when he tensed and filled my mouth with cum. A slightly creamy texture and a mild salty taste covered my tongue. I swallowed it. He didn’t produce a second load, but his body relaxed.

I moved beside him and pulled him to me. My erection moved against his crack as he assumed a spooning arrangement. “That was nice,” I told him.

“I’m sorry; I should have told you.”

“It wasn’t unexpected, Ryan. Plus, I liked it.” I pulled him closer. “I want you to stay the night with me. Will you?”

“You’re not angry with me?” he asked honestly.

“For coming while I was blowing you? I’d be upset if you hadn’t. It was a natural thing.”

He was silent for a few moments. “I like it when you hold me like this.”