Can I watch?

That question circled around and around in my head all day. I could not get it suppressed. Kick in whatever part of the brain that eventually let us forget. Forget the fear on that first day of school. Forget the pain of loss or some slight by someone being cruel. Or forget something that made us uncomfortable; embarrassed us for whatever reason. But all day long, class after class, that question came back to me. Can I watch? It didn’t help Bobby was in four of my classes. First, third, fourth and fifth periods, with the break for lunch thrown in for good measure. We sat across from each other and he would look over with those sad puppy dog eyes. And when no one could hear, just the two of us away from the others, he would lean over close.

“I’m serious Jake. I want to watch. I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

“Bobby…please. Why do you…let it go.”

“I won’t mess with Ryan and you. I’ll just sit in a dark corner and…”

“No. Stop asking.”

I could not believe how things had transpired over the last week. For the last three months it was a secret that only Ryan and I shared. Just the two of us. No one else was to know, not yet anyway. How that little secret began to filter out, I don’t know, but what happened next was on another level altogether.

How the fuck could we be so stupid?

Liz had a party and of course, things got a bit rowdy. A little beer snuck in by Brad and Wil, and everyone sitting around the bonfire in the pasture behind the Henderson’s barn. I watched Stacy and Chris sneak off to the barn, then Rachel and Wil. Brad was making out with Cindy and…

The atmosphere was just charged with it. So, Ryan and I snuck off too, made our way to the barn figuring there was somewhere away from Stacy and Chris. It was dark, only the outside security light shining through the upper windows casting square beams of light through the old barn. We heard Stacy cry out from somewhere above us. The hayloft.

We moved toward the front of the barn till we came to the grain truck and climbed up in the cab. It was perfect, one long bench seat stretching from one side to the other.

We made out, hands roaming over each other as we kissed. Then Ryan did the one thing that would make me throw caution into the wind. He tongued my ear, then tugged on the earlobe. I pushed against his body, hard, wanting him to feel how aroused I was. I felt one hand go down between us. It tugged on my jeans undoing them. I don’t remember how, but soon I was naked from the waist down lying on the seat with Ryan on top. I felt his finger rub over me, circling around my tightness, then pushing through. I tried to stifle my cry, but it seemed to echo in the cab of the truck as Ryan pushed into me. Deeper and deeper, then with two fingers. He worked me open, twisting those fingers as he piston them inside my hole.

I knew we shouldn’t go so far, not here, but I begged him to do it. Begged him to fuck me as I worked his jeans open, fumbled around till everything was pushed down below his cock. I stroked him feeling the wetness of the head. I smeared it down the shaft and he tried to push through my hand.

“Put it in me…please” I begged as I held him to me. He pushed, breaching my tight opening and sank into my depths. I cried out again as I hugged his body, shivering with the penetration.

Ryan slow fucked me. Pushed in so slow I didn’t think I could take it. Then he pulled outward just as slow. I know how it felt. The tightness milking each inch as it moved through. The slow movement letting him feel it for the full length of his cock. It made his body grow hot till we were sweating. He moved slickly over me, the undulation of his body driving my own arousal till my cock ached it was so hard. I worked my hips meeting his push inward and felt him grind against my ass.

“FUCK” I cried out, far too loud, by this time not caring.

Then Ryan began to fuck, harder, faster, driving us both to release. The fucking seat squeaked, the truck rocked, as Ryan hammered his cock inside me. I took him, every inch, and begged him for more. To fuck harder, to push it in me. I begged him to just fuck me.

I came first, the hot slick release smearing between us. The smell filled the cab and it spurred Ryan to get rougher, to push in so hard our bodies smacked together. Then he shoved in all the way and shuddered. I felt his release, the flex of cock in my depths as he filled me with his load.

Then we heard someone stubble down the steep steps that led to the loft, racing down too fast. The door on the front, away from the pasture and the bonfire, slammed back against the wall then closed just as loudly.

“OH shit” Ryan uttered as he looked around to see if anyone else was around.

We believed it had to be Chris, coming from above, but there was no Stacy. When we eased out of the cab, we knew we were wrong.

“Who’s down there?” Stacy called out from above.

We snuck out the front, the same way the voyeur had done.

In the backyard of the Henderson’s place we went to the swing under an oak tree. As we let the swing rock back and forth, trying to pretend we were always there if someone came around, and eventually they did, wanting to know if we had been in the barn.

“In the barn? No…why?” we responded, all innocence and sweetness, putting on a naïve act.

It was the following Monday when Bobby came up to me at my locker. He didn’t say anything at first, just stood behind the open door till I closed it.

“What is it?” I asked him as I spun the combination lock.

“Can we talk? In private” he responded, and I knew. I knew it was him that was in the barn. I knew he had watched us fucking around in the truck. I just didn’t know what he would want to keep his mouth shut.

I didn’t tell Ryan for I thought I could handle it. Pull some bro bullshit and get him to forget what he saw. I waited behind the ag building, a place no one had any reason to be at day’s end. Through the bushes that separated it from the rear parking lot I saw classmates pulling out heading for home. I had told Ryan I had a meeting with Mrs. Williams, our English teacher to discuss the next paper. A white lie, but one I hope would pay off.

Bobby eased down to where I was leaning against the wall. I didn’t move, didn’t want to show him how anxious I felt inside. I played it cool, put on a face of calm, like nothing could be wrong. But Bobby blew that out of the water as soon as he stood in front of me.

“I saw Ryan and you in the barn.”

For a moment all I could think was ‘fuck, fuck, fuck’.

“Bobby…I don’t think…”

“Stow it, Jake” he interjected, and we stood staring at each other. A show down. Who’d blink first?

“Look Jake, I came in late and only saw...saw you guys finishing. I’m not going to tell anyone. I promise, but…” Bobby trailed off, looking up and away. I waited for him to continue.  “Jake, all weekend I have thought about the two of you. This relationship you think no one really knows about, but you’d be surprised by how many know. But that isn’t it; not what I want to talk about.”

“What is it then?”

“Can I watch?”

“You want to what?”

Bobby took a deep breath and shook his head as he gathered his thoughts. I stared at him, stunned by the way this conversation was going. Robert Langston O’Keefe, Bobby to all his friends, one of the jocks. A receiver on the football team and first basemen on the baseball team, all six-foot two, lean muscular inch of him. He dated more girls than any other guy, going through half the class since eighth grade. I couldn’t fathom it, not at first. Then I thought about how he never dated one girl very long, how now, as our public-school years are coming to an end, he is single, not even someone set to go with him to the prom. And I see him now, unsure of himself for the first time in a long time; at least that I was aware of.

I considered his request, and it didn’t make sense. Yes, Ryan and I were gay, doing something no one else in our school were doing, or as far as we knew. But for Bobby to ask, someone who seemed so confident, so fucking attractive even other guys sometimes stared at him. Why would he want to watch two average guys mess around? I was five-eight, average build, brown hair and Ryan was the same except two inches taller. We were so average as to be boring.

“Bobby; why do you want to watch us?”

He looked me hard in the face, those brown eyes suddenly not so mysterious, hiding some inner aspect. They now showed the depth of his confusion. They were glistening wetly, and he looked down before a tear could trickle down. His long blonde hair fell over his face concealing it even more.

“Three weeks ago…we played Monroe High” he began without looking up.

“I remember; Ryan and I was in the stands.”  Monroe High was on the north side of town, one of the rural county schools, like our own on the south side of town. We were rivals. Not petty and abusive in our rivalry, but a good natured one, for we hung out in town along with those from town. Our paths crossed at the small cinema, the drive-in on the north side and the small park on the east side on any given Friday or Saturday night. Three weeks ago, we played a baseball game at our school. One most of us stayed after to watch.

“Well, I got that hit in the seventh and made it to second base.”

“I remember. You almost goofed up, not realizing Bill got a good hit too, one you scored on, but not before…”

“Before standing on the base like a dumbass. I know. I wasn’t paying attention because I was…”

“Looking at Monroe’s second baseman?”

Bobby nodded his head.

I remember the girls around us, pointing him out as they talked breathlessly about the tall, dark haired second baseman who filled out his uniform in such a seductive way. Ass unbelievably round and his shirt tight from his broad shoulders. Jet black hair with a dark skin tone. The very epitome of tall, dark and handsome. Even Ryan and I had commented on it.

“I don’t know why?  I’ve never really looked at another guy like that before. None of the guys here, and...I couldn’t stop…can’t stop thinking about him. And I don’t even know the guy. Not well anyway.”

“Lee something…”

“Elan…Elan Johnson.”

“Did you get to talk to him after the game?”

“Some…but not enough to get a read on him. Fuck, I can’t believe…maybe I’m wrong. Maybe this infatuation is, I don’t know, some admiration of his play, or just the fact he looks so different.”

Bobby was leaner than this Elan, skin fairer and his blonde hair made him look younger than his eighteen years, the opposite of Elan.

“Maybe if I see how sex is between guys, really see it, not like online, then I’ll find it unappealing.”

He looked up and stared hard at me. “Maybe I’ll find it repulsive in some way. And I’ll be able to forget Elan. Stop dwelling on him all the time.”

“But you want to watch Ryan and I have sex” I whispered, afraid someone would hear, as ridiculous at that was with us huddled up next to the ag building.

“So what? What’s the big deal? Guys post videos online…”

“We don’t. We haven’t even recorded any of it.”

“Please…come on, Jake. I’ll sit in the corner. In some dark corner where you can forget I’m even there. I won’t say anything to anyone. I won’t try to sneak a photo or a video, I won’t make any comments during. I just want to watch and see if it…”

“Makes you horny?”

“Yeah” he whispered in reply.

For the rest of week, I thought about it. The way Bobby begged me to let him watch. How it was all about seeing if he would react to our sex the way he reacted to Elan. It was absurd any way you looked at it. Twice I found myself uttering aloud “come on” when considering Bobby request as just silly. And the idea of him watching. A classmate that was not particularly a close friend. Watching Ryan and I fuck. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. We were so careful, well, most of the time, to avoid prying eyes. Constantly looking over our shoulders, worried we had made some wrong gesture or comment that would give us away. Out us to the community.

Now I had Bobby asking, ‘can I watch’? 

And all week we crossed paths so often it was obvious he was waiting for me. If he wasn’t careful, it would be he and I that were the subject of rumors. By Friday morning, Ryan pulled me into the bathroom near the administration offices, the one rarely used. He pushed me through the door, grabbed the front of my shirt and dragged me into the last stall.

“What the fuck is going on with Bobby?”

“I wish I knew where to start” I replied. I leaned against one wall while Ryan leaned against the stall door, and I told him. The way he approached me, the confession he was in the barn, but only seen us after our big finale, and how he wanted to watch. For a minute Ryan didn’t say anything, just stared down at the floor. I worried he was going to storm out and go confront Bobby. That was the last thing that needed to happen.

“What are you thinking?” I asked, unable to take the silence any longer.

“Fuck…I don’t know. Will he run his mouth if we don’t let him?”

“I don’t think sssoooo…what a minute. You’re not considering it, are you?”

“Maybe. No…I don’t know.  Look, if we let him watch one time, just one time, will that be the end of it?”

“I assume so. I didn’t get that far.”

“He’s in your fifth period class. Tell him to meet us at the ag building after sixth period” Ryan said as he unlatched the door and pushed out. “Come on, we’re going to be late for class.”

“What are you going to say to him?” I asked as we approached the door.

“Not sure” Ryan replied as he pulled the door open and waited for me to go first.

I think sixth period was the longest it had ever been. I was going to tell Bobby on the way out of fifth period, but he accosted me as soon as I came into the room.

“Meet Ryan and I at the ag building” I had whispered to him after I got seated.

I could see it in his face. The questions stirring around, wondering what Ryan was going to say. He was hoping beyond hope (in my opinion), but I had to hand it to him. He pushed it down, keep himself in check. I wondered if sixth period had felt even longer to him than it did for me.

Ryan was already there when I arrived and I knew Bobby was hot on my heels, maybe twenty feet behind me. We huddled up along the wall, hidden from view by the bushes and trees. I listened at Ryan and Bobby as they went back and forth. At first, I heard what I expected, Ryan trying to put Bobby down gently. But the back and forth continued. Continued till I watch in horror as Ryan began to back down, the conversation turning on its head, till Bobby was getting Ryan to agree with him, accept the points he was making. I stood dumbfounded, unable to interject, wondering where this conversation went off the rails. In the end, Bobby was going to meet us down in Pensacola where we were going to the beach for a long weekend. We had a hotel room waiting on us, and suddenly Bobby was going to arrive for the last couple of days to have his wish fulfilled.

He was going to watch.

It was awkward, when Bobby first arrived. I think he believed he would come into our hotel room, drop his bag on the floor, take a seat and watch us get to it. He seemed disappointed when we told him to change into his swim trunks and meet us on the beach. We were going to hang out for while on the beach, then clean up and go grab dinner, then come back to the room. You can imagine how anxious he was all afternoon. I was surprised his right calf muscle didn’t crap up as much as it had to work, bouncing his knee up and down.

Eventually, we were back in the room, the sky a dark blue, darkening more and more as the minutes passed. We opened the sliding door and let the evening breeze blow in, kept all the interior lights off except the lamp on the nightstand and prepared for the demonstration. I went into the bathroom and stared in the mirror wondering how I was going to do this with Bobby sitting there watching.

“Don’t think about him…forget he’s there” I repeated over and over.

When I came back into the room Ryan had the bed striped of its cover and was standing at the sliding doors looking out over the gulf. Bobby was pacing the room, looking as nervous as I felt. I pushed the desk chair into the corner, the darkest spot in the room.

“Sit here” I said.

Ryan came into the room and led me to the side of the bed. We kissed. Nothing crazy; just a simple kiss. Then he began to remove my clothes. He opened my shirt and kissed my chest. He pushed it from my shoulders and kissed the right one. Then Ryan got on his knees to help me get free of my jeans and boxers. I looked over toward Bobby as my left foot came free.

“Don’t look at him” Ryan whispered as his hand came up my leg and took my cock and balls, fingers circling around them like a cock ring, tightening up around them till my cock flexed and grew thicker. Then Ryan took me in his mouth, and I couldn’t help it. Never could. I moaned at the feel of it sliding down my cock. I closed my eyes and held my head back as my cock was enveloped in it. I rocked on my feet pushing into that warm slick mouth, felt it swallow around the head of my cock then the shudder of a gag forcing me to swing back. My cock dripped with drool and Ryan moved to it again.

I knew what Ryan was doing. He was going to get me so riled up, so close to the brink of release, then leave me wanting. Leave me so aroused I’d do anything he wanted. He sucked me till my cock ached for release then he stood leaving me panting.

“Ryan…please…”

He merely smiled at me as he led me to the bed.

He didn’t let me lie flat on the bed, instead he wanted me on my hands and knees, turned sideways to Bobby. Turned so Bobby could watch, see him push into my ass, sink his cock all the way in me and fuck. I knew he was putting on a show, letting Bobby see us, on full display. He entered me roughly and I cried out, pleading with him, not to stop, but to fuck me harder. I knew it was what he wanted. I wanted it too.

Our pace was brutal, the bed rocking underneath me, my cock smacking against my stomach, hard and leaking, as Ryan hammered away at my hole. The smack of his abdomen against my ass echoed in the room. I knew Bobby could see everything. Ryan’s thick cock as it slipped outward then drove back in, my own cock swinging to our rhythm. I glanced over and saw Bobby had his jeans undone and his hand down inside them manipulating himself, toying with his cock, obviously aroused by what he saw.

Ryan pulled out and told me to move. He lay back, feet pointed toward Bobby.

“Sit on it…come on…don’t make me beg.”

I moved over him, positioned to face him.

“No, turn around…face Bobby.”

I did it. I turned and let Bobby see me full on. Cock curved upward, the head drooling and my skin on fire, glistening in the dim light. I moved over Ryan, held his cock up and eased down on it. Bobby sat up and leaned toward us, his hand still inside his jeans as he watched. The way Ryan had been fucking me I no longer cared if Bobby was watching. In fact, I wanted him to watch. Watch me ride Ryan’s cock, move my ass up and down on it. Let him see how I took it; every fucking inch.

I leaned back till resting on my hands and moved my ass up and down. Slowly at first, letting Bobby watch how each, and every inch moved in and out of my hole. The way my hole stretched around that thick shaft, flexed with its movement. The feel of the penetration was intense, the way I felt the fullness each time I moved down taking Ryan. I wanted it, wanted it bad. I moved faster, working my hips up and down. I swear I could hear Ryan’s cock slide inward and out.

I twisted my torso, changed the angle of descent and saw stars with every plunge down that cock. I hammered my sides wanting it to last forever. I took my own cock in hand and stroked it, roughly, trying to fall into rhythm with my movements on Ryan. I was burning up, sweat trickled down my face and down my chest. My exertions were burning up my muscles. I was going to combust if Ryan didn't come soon. He had to fill me. Pump it in me, and I began to beg him to come.

“Come on…pump it in me. Come for me…please” I pleaded, and I felt his hands hold my waist then his cock piston in my hole, roughly, shoving upward sinking all the way inside me. I held still and took it, every thrust while begging him for more. I threw my head back and fell on top of him. I felt my sweaty body slip slickly over him, felt the undulation of his hips as he pumped my hole full of cock.

“Oh…oh…OH  I’m coming” Ryan cried out and I felt it, the flex of his cock as he emptied himself in my depths.

I lay on Ryan heaving for breath as was he. I felt the heat of our bodies and the fullness of penetration with his still hard cock inside me. I realized I still held my own, it hard, aching for release. I looked down my chest and stomach, over the glistening skin and saw how it was still leaking, and beyond, just out of the main light, Bobby leaned back, jeans pushed down and shirt off, breathing hard too. I watched him wipe up cum from his chest and lick it off his fingers.

‘Nasty bastard’ I thought as I felt Ryan lean up next to me.

“Bobby” Ryan called out, knocking my hand away from my cock and holding it up. “You want this?”

I held my breath, not believing Ryan was going to allow this. But he held me straight up, teasing Bobby, tempting him to come and take me. I watched Bobby ease off the chair and go to his knees. Watched him cross the short distance to the foot of the bed, then climb up over it till he was between our legs. I felt his hands slid up my legs, barely touching the skin, then slide up along my cock till he was holding me. I watched him move to it, look at it as if it were the only thing that mattered to him, then I watched him lick the wet head. I gasped at the touch and struggled not to push upward. He licked it again, swirled that tongue around the head making me shiver. Then he took me. Every inch.