Be Bold

Prelude

From behind the old school came the sounds of football practice. The whistles, voices yelling across the field and occasionally the sound of a hit too hard. Buses pulled from the front drive out onto the two-lane county road, some going north toward the communities of Hayfield, Jasper, Jefferson and Two-Creek, while the rest headed south toward Oak Hill, Pineville, Jackson's Village and the even more sparsely populated region of Sandy Forks, the area too sandy for farming so most of the land was covered in pine. It was the end of another school day.

Nearly half the students in the senior class remained for they had practice for football, or basketball, or cheerleading or if gathered in the student union, debate club. The remainder either went to after school jobs or home, where many had chores on farms that had to be done each day. Some with their own car or truck may drive into town or to a friend's house to study or merely play video games.

It was like any other rural school, small in class size, with a curriculum missing much of what a large school in a city may offer. But it didn't differ in the cliques, the gossip between students or the way some were singled out for bulling or ostracized for coming from the wrong family. The jocks ruled the corridors between classes and the prettiest girls always had a boyfriend. And for those few students who were different, they kept to themselves, afraid to be revealed.

Paul

Practice had been worse than usual, first the weight room during sixth period then practice in pads on the field. He was exhausted, his hair still wet, hanging down into his eyes as he slipped on each shoe, loosely tying the laces. He heard the door swing open that led to the gym then the voices of those who played basketball coming in from their practice. He wondered who had it worse. He and his classmates that played football, hitting each other in pads till they were so exhausted it hurt to breathe or those who played basketball who had to run on that hard wood court, back and forth, till their legs quivered with fatigue.

Will, Brandon, Clay and Josh came in first wearing their baggy shorts, tank tops in hand or tossed over a shoulder. They were sweating profusely, their upper bodies shiny with sweat. Paul glanced up and noticed Brandon had skinned elbows and a red rash on his shoulder, and Josh had a bleeding knee.

"Damn, you guys playing tackle now?" said Paul as he stood up to move out of the way knowing Clay and Josh had lockers next to his.

"Looks that way, doesn't it" Brandon replied as he held up his arm twisting it to see his elbow.

Paul was always made aware of their differences in the locker room. He was stocky, more muscular, having put on 20 pounds in the last year. Even though he was five ten standing next to Clay and Josh made him feel short. It was absurd, and he knew it but they were five or six inches taller. Clay pushed down his shorts and Paul couldn't help but compare their builds to his own. Tall, lean, bodies that had few curves. Clay at least was broad shouldered, his torso tapering down to his waist, but Josh had a narrow body, a runner's build he had heard his girlfriend say when she had seen Josh at a track meet last spring.

Heading toward the exit Paul's mind circled around his relationship with Lisa, whom he had been dating since last fall. He thought everyone should have a relationship like the one Lisa and he shared. But he knew most were not dating seriously or in more cases than anyone cared to admit, no one at all. It was the case with Josh, his friend since elementary school, but a friendship that had changed in the last three years. There was a time the two of them grew apart in some undefined way.

It had bothered him how friendships changed. Over the years he saw others who were close for a year or so suddenly grow apart, have a disagreement or some other unseen event that ended the friendship. It had been different with Josh. There had been no argument, no real change in one of their personalities, some evident source of the divide that developed between them. Josh seemed to have become introverted, not nearly as outgoing as he had been.

Paul didn't try to bridge this divide, not at first. He didn't know how, or that is what he thought back in the ninth and tenth grades. When he had his fifteenth birthday party and Josh failed to show up that had been the catalyst to make him act. He cornered Josh after practice the next Monday, pushed him behind the gym out of sight of the others and asked pointedly ‘what was his problem?’

"Why are you avoiding me?" Paul asked stepping up closer.

Josh couldn't look Paul in the eye for a moment, looking down then off into the distance. Paul saw how he was searching for the words, a way to answer and he waited. Josh finally turned to him, looked him in the eye.

"Because I'm different...and none of you will like it."

'Different?' Paul had wondered, lost for a response. Josh stared at him with a look of defiance. He actually moved closer to Paul, less than a foot separated them. Paul remembered those eyes, hard, unflinching, contrasted with a look of sadness, tears pooling around them.

"Well...ask me. Come on, Paul, ask me."

"Okay. How are you different?"

"I like..." Josh began, moving even closer, almost threatening, "...boys."

"What?"

"You heard me. I'm gay."

"No shit."

"I guess you're going to tell everyone?"

Paul then realized why Josh had isolated himself and he relaxed, stood back a step smiling at Josh.

"I'm not going to tell."

"You won't tell?"

"No man, I'm still your friend, or at least I thought I was."

Paul remembered how Josh relaxed, smiling back nodding his head. It was the renewal of their friendship, in some ways even closer than before.

In the parking lot he climbed into his Jeep and headed home. The air began to fill like the heat of summer was finally breaking, the evenings getting cooler. He wondered how soon he would have to put the hardtop back on his Jeep.

Elijah

There were only three others on the bus as it turned on the narrow dirt road that would pass by his home. Eli looked around at Sarah, Mitch and Randall when he heard them laughing, wondering what was so funny. He knew he would never be welcomed among them even though they were all seniors, classmates for the last eight years when his father moved them to the community. His father, the minister of Black Water Baptist Church, a back woods church so primitive it had shocked his mother when they arrived. At school he was the crazy preacher's boy.

The bus moved down the steep incline and bounced over the old bridge over Black Water Creek and rose up the incline to the next plateau heavily wooded by pine on the right side and natural woods on the left. After the quarter mile of straight road, they rounded the curve that brought the old church into view. It sat close to the road, too close, the front steps coming down only a few feet from the graded edge of the roadway. Under the trees surrounding the church was nearly barren ground, covered in pine straw with shallow roots protruding through the sandy ground.

As the bus slowed for his stop he grabbed his backpack and stood up holding on the seat backs either side of the aisle waiting for the bus to stop. Dust blew by the windows as the bus came to a stop and he began to move to the front.

"Bye, bye, faggot" came Mitch's voice from the back of the bus.

No matter how many times he heard the taunts it still made him hesitate, caused him loose all concentration. Made him hurt inside. He knew how they viewed him, the skinny preacher's son who couldn't play any sports. Sissy, faggot, queer. It was worse when they associated him with the things his father had said in public. Sanctimoniously demonizing anyone who wasn't white, Christian or straight. Sometimes Eli wondered if his father actually liked women the way he denigrated them as inferior. But it was the comments about gays that scared him the most. The way his father made them the scapegoat for every ill of society, the reason for every natural disaster. Eli had been scared of his father for as long as he could remember, but lately he was beginning to add another emotion to his feelings toward his father. Disgust.

Maybe it was just a defense mechanism, a way to push back at all the things his father said. A way to push through the taunts of his classmates. For in the end, he knew there was some truth to them. He had known since he was young, ten or eleven, that he was different. By thirteen he knew. Knew he was gay. Nothing since then gave him any doubt to this fact so he abided his time, doing his homework, doing what his father made him do, and whenever he was able, wandered through the woods down to the creek where he fantasized about his future. A future that at times seemed so far away but he knew was really just around the corner. One more year of high school, one more summer at home under his father's thumb then he was gone. College first then off to some city. Some place progressive, accepting, with opportunities.

Walking across the church grounds to the small house that sat in back in a small clearing, the house he called home. As he walked across the church grounds Mitch's taunt repeated itself in his mind, over and over. He went from shame and embarrassment to anger, fantasizing about being defiant about it, of going to school tomorrow and yelling down the corridor "I'm gay and all of you can fuck off."

His father in his sense of protection isolated him and his sister. Made them outcast in their own community, never allowed to go to someone's birthday party or camping with others till they were no longer invited. He excelled in class, especially science and world history for how they challenged his father's primitive notions of the world. He had finally gotten a computer two years ago but his father wouldn't allow him to use it without being monitored by his mother or himself. His father feared he would go on sites that were evil, the 'work of the devil', and he was right for Eli longed to go online and search for other boys like himself, others who were gay, isolated by circumstances or place. He wasn't naive, he knew there were others like himself everywhere, maybe even his school, too afraid to come out, just as he was.

He climbed the wood steps onto the small porch and entered through the screen door where fans worked in futile, pushing around the summer heat and humidity. His mother sat on the sofa talking on the phone nodding her head toward him then motioning toward the small kitchen in the back of the house. On the counter were a couple of cookies and a glass of milk. Sitting at the table was his sister, only crumbs and an empty glass in front of her.

"Hey sis, how was school?"

She shrugged her shoulders, but he saw the look in her eyes and he knew. He had that look too when he was in sixth grade, one that only got worse with each passing grade. Leaning against the counter he ate one then the other cookie. He chugged the glass of milk sitting the empty glass in the sink, pushed off the counter and headed to his room, a small bedroom at the back of the house that was once the rear porch. The narrow room had all the furniture along the outside wall, his bed in the corner for maximum air flow with the windows up and next to it his dresser followed by his desk that faced out toward the rear yard and to the over grown woods beyond.

College was his escape, his way out and he sat at his desk to do his homework before his father returned. He had nothing else to pass the time and knew he had to have the grades for a scholarship, so homework was not a chore but a way to consume the time, to make the day pass, so he could make it to the next, and the next one after that, so on till he was gone from this place.

Joshua

Even showering at school after practice, Josh always took one at home. At school he rushed through it, soap smeared over his body with his hands that meant he never felt clean afterward. And he couldn't take his time, always in a rush to get out of the showers for he knew it was dangerous to stay too long, to give himself time to let his eyes roam around the room, to see the others, naked, soap cascading down their bodies. It wasn't like he was really attractive to any of the guys in his class as much as there was this innate curiosity. A desire to see other males, naked, nothing left to the imagination.

At home, he stood under the warm spray fantasizing about guys. Guys he saw in television shows or movies, athletes on a college or pro team or some guy he saw in town or down in Mobile or Pensacola. Navy boys, guys at a coffee shop with college textbooks spread out before them or at the beach in baggy swim trunks and muscular upper bodies with a tattoo on an arm, chest or shoulder. His cock quickly filled his hand as he re-imagined them, their masculine forms hovering over his prone body. He fingered himself imagining the penetration, his soapy finger sinking all the way inward. He imagined another's hand taking him and he stroked faster, till he rocked on his feet and his breathing became ragged. He came, the first wad hitting the wall and he watched as the water washed it downward as he felt each release till he was spent, exhausted, leaning against the wall till the water ran cool.

At his desk he finished his homework after a couple of hours, saving the last report just completed, he opened up the site, the social media site for gays. Each night he looked at it, followed the conversations of others chatting or making plans to hookup, afraid to join in. There were aspects that were intriguing, tempting on so many levels. But he wanted more, wanted what the others had, like Paul and Lisa. The ritual of dating, going to school dances or movies in town. A normal life that too many worked to deprive them of. He knew no one could stop him in college. He only had to wait one more year.

Glancing up on the wall he looked at the photographs pinned to the bulletin board. A shot of himself at the beach, another in the mountains of Tennessee. A shot of his younger brother camping with the Boy Scouts. A shot of his old truck right after he had it painted last summer and a shot of his dream car, a Lamborghini in a bright green color. And then there were photographs of the basketball team from last winter and next to them a couple of Paul. One showing the two of them at the beach and one of Paul and Lisa at the party Shelly had last spring, everyone sitting around a bonfire looking radiate its warm glow.

His computer beeped, and he looked down at the scrolling conversation. So many where online it amazed him. He wondered how many in the community could be gay. How many in his school? In his class? There was a time when he wondered about Will, just knowing he had to be in the closet too. Last summer it was Bryan. He ran into him at the drive-in over in Monroe and they sat outside at a table eating the greasy burgers and fries. They joked around and talked about what they were doing that summer. Everything seemed of no consequence until he felt Bryan's foot bump his own, slid up next to it then pull away. It had to be a signal, a gesture trying to lure him out.  After a few minutes he pushed his foot up against Bryan's.

"Hey man, watch those big feet" Bryan had stated as he pulled away then resumed his story of Paul and Will fishing at his family's pond.

The only other guy that came to mind was one too crazy to consider. It just didn't seem plausible. And that was Eli. Elijah, as his preacher father called him. 'What a name to be stuck with' Josh thought as he pictured Eli, the way he carried himself, so introverted and awkward.

So many of the others bullied Eli, taunted him, and it left a knot in his stomach whenever he witnessed it. He felt sorry for Eli for he sensed how much Eli disliked his lot in life. He saw it several times when he had seen Eli with his father, how he stood behind him, eyes looking down or off into the distance.

Eli was skinny, made more obvious by his height, nearly as tall as his own six three. Last year when the basketball team struggled to get enough for the team with some backup, Steven and he had approached Eli about playing. The way Eli had looked shocked, surprised at being asked. For a moment he had seen how Eli was pleased. But in the end he shook his head no telling them his father would never allow it. It was like Eli's father wanted his son to be an outcast, miserable all the time.

Josh wondered what Eli would be like away from his father's influence. Maybe a party with alcohol or down at the beach out in the water or walking down the shoreline, water lapping around their ankles. He wondered if Eli could be gay, then banished the idea as ludicrous.

Paul

Backpack slung over his right shoulder, Paul followed his classmates out of English through the door and down the corridor heading toward the cafeteria. Halloween decorations were on the wall and hung from the ceiling and a few students had on elements of costumes. Ears, headpieces or some garment that gave clue to their costume to be worn later.

Glancing at the posters and banners Paul wondered about the party at Will's that night. Who would come dressed in costume and who would forego the effort. He didn't like dressing up but enjoyed seeing the costumes of the others. Especially those who created their own.

As he approached the door to the cafeteria Josh came up beside him grabbing the door handle holding it open.

"Ladies first" said Josh smiling at Paul.

"Damn dude, that is ancient" replied Paul as he moved through the door.

They fell into the back of the line. Leaning against the wall, moving forward slowly they scanned the dining room noticing their classmates sitting at their usual table. There was a steady stream of students moving along the serving line, with tray in hand, then into the dining area. Everyone going to their usual table.  Josh tried not to stare but when he noticed the tall skinny figure of Eli moving along the serving line he couldn't stop himself. Ever since last Monday he had become more fascinated with him.  He had been in a stall in the toilet near the library when he heard someone come in. Keeping as silent as possible he waited for whoever it was to do their business and leave. He heard footsteps move into the room stopping at the lavatories. After a brief silence he heard Eli's voice, obviously talking on his cell phone.

"Mom?...yes I'm at school...please...okay. You have to come get me after school...please. No...no. Dad will try to make me...I know, I know...mom...please."

There was a long silence then the sound of Eli pacing back and forth.

"Goddamn it...fuck" utter Eli.

Water came on for a minute then shut off and a moment later Eli left the toilet. Josh was shocked at the outburst, having never heard Eli use any profanity in the past. And for the rest of the week he found himself watching Eli, wondering what other secrets lurk in that demure exterior.

"Are you watching Eli again?" asked Paul breaking Josh out of his trance.

"What? No...no, no" Josh stammered as he turned back to Paul. "Well...its...last Monday..." Josh began telling Paul about overhearing him on the phone and how he reacted afterward.

"No shit. Mr. Goody-Goody actually said goddamn...oh man" Paul replied laughing.

When they had their trays and seated at their usual table, Josh on one side and Paul opposite facing him they were silent as they ate, listening to their classmate’s banter back and forth. Josh would take a bite of food then look across the room to Eli sitting alone at a table near the teachers.

Leaning over close Paul whispered, "you still watching Eli?"

"It's just..."

"What else do we not know about ole Elijah?  Maybe he is...I don't know..." leaning closer, his voice even lower, "...gay?"

"What?  No...well, maybe" Josh replied sniggering at the silliness of his curiosity.

Elijah

Walking as slowly as he could, other students bumping into him as they passed rushing to get out of the school, Eli headed toward the parking lot for parents coming to pick up their children, knowing his father would not be there, not yet anyway. Every time his father said he would come pick him up he had been late, once over an hour. On the one day he wanted to get away as fast as possible he knew he was going to be stuck here till his father decided to finally show up.

He saw the costumes, the decorations, knowing the other students were going to parties to celebrate Halloween. He also knew more than he cared what his father thought of Halloween and how he had forbidden Eli from participating in any way, especially going to any party that would have alcohol, drugs and sex, for his father knew all the other students were guilty of these sins. Eli knew it was silly, a fear mongering notion about the holiday but he also knew there was no use trying to make his father believe otherwise.

Standing under the ugly aluminum canopy that stretched from the Science building all the way back to the dressing room at the gym, Eli looked for his father. Other parents were pulling out or waiting for their kids to get buckled in, but his father was nowhere to be seen. Moving toward a bench he was resolved to having to wait, anger building at his father putting everything else before him:  his own son.

Eli watched the others leave till the parking lot was empty. In the far parking lot, he watched the teachers begin to leave. Glancing at his watch he watched the minutes tick by slowly. He tried to read is English assignment, but his frustration and anger kept him from being able to concentrate.  He pulled out the novel he was reading, one he had to keep hidden from his father, reading it only late at night in his bed using a flashlight or while riding the bus to and from school or on weekends when he could get away from his father, sneaking off into the woods down to the creek.  

After a couple of paragraphs, he realized he was retaining nothing of what he read. Book closed and stuffed back into his backpack he glanced at his watch again. Only fifteen minutes since he last looked.

"Shit" Eli uttered under his breath. He stood up, slung his backpack over his shoulder and began to walk across the parking lot, down the drive till he was walking along the shoulder of the road, the tall grass slapping his khaki pant legs. Across the road from the school was a general store. It was old, older than the school by decades, the exterior gray weathered boards with old metal signs rusting on the sides. In front were two gas pumps and barely enough room for a vehicle to pull in next to them.

Eli felt the two one-dollar bills and loose coins in his pocket as he walked toward the store. He wanted a drink, something on ice. When near the store he cut across the two-lane road and moved across the gravel lot. He had only been in the store a few times before and was always surprised by how dark it was inside, the dark wood walls and ceiling, the old stained tile floor, and the shelves with barely enough product to fill them. The bell rung as he opened the door and he stepped inside scanning the room. On the far wall at the drink station he filled a plastic cup with ice then selected an orange soda, watching the overly sweet, artificial colored drink quickly fill it.

"Dollar forty-nine" the older man behind the counter stated after ringing up the drink.

Eli laid one of the dollar bills on the counter along with two quarters. He didn't wait on the penny, something he knew would irritate his father, and made his way back outside. There was a picnic table on the side of the store, so old the wood boards of the top curved and twisted, their surface carved with initials and symbols or just odd patterns. Cigarette burns lined the edges and stains from ketchup or mustard or some other food spotted the boards. He stepped up on the seat and sat on the table looking across the road at the school and the nearly empty parking lot.

Eli was always alone but it never felt so intense as when he was waiting on his father. He watched some farmer pass slowly by in his pickup, windows down, arm resting on the sill. After he passed Eli could smell the cigar the man had clamped between his lips. He sucked up the overly sweet soda through the straw till it was gone and set the cup down on the table. Looking back across the road once again he saw Joshua Hamilton walking from the gym toward his truck.

Joshua

Walking across the parking lot Joshua was trying to figure out what coach really wanted. His little talk was so obscure he wasn't sure what to think. It seemed to last forever and coming out and seeing how empty the parking lot was just confirmed it. Keys out, Josh moved to the driver's door and unlocked it. Pulling it open let out a wave of hot air that had been building all day in the closed cab. He rolled down his window then climbed into the hot interior, leaning over to roll down the passenger side window. The truck started and shifted into drive he took off, circling around in the parking lot he headed for the road.

Josh was in no hurry to get home for an Aunt and Uncle were visiting this evening and they were not his favorite. They were conspiratorial, homophobic and bigoted, the kind of people whom there was no middle ground. Anyone who disagreed with them was un-American, evil even, and Josh couldn't stand to be in the same room with them.

He wished there had been an actual practice, something to take a couple of hours so he would have an excuse not to go home till nearly time to go to Will's party. As he pulled onto the road, he accelerated slowly, then braked and pulled it the store parking lot. He decided to grab a drink to kill some more time. He eased past the pumps to the opposite side of the building. As he passed the corner he saw someone was sitting on the picnic table. He didn't recognize them at first but when he pulled to stop they turned toward him and he realized it was Eli.

Josh was taken aback at first by Eli's expression. A mixture of anger and sadness.

"What's up?" asked Josh as he climbed out.

Eli looked up at him hesitating to respond, "nothing."

"Why are you sitting out here? Waiting on someone?"

"My dad was supposed to pick me up after school, but..."

Josh caught the tone, the anger behind it and he walked over to the picnic table. Eli watched him approach and Josh noticed for the first time his dark brown eyes. No distinction between the iris or the pupil but there was something in the way they looked at him. Something hurt.

"Is there someone else you can call?"

"Not really."

"I'm going to grab a drink and when I come back if you haven't heard from him and want a ride…"

"Seriously. Josh, you don't even speak to me in school, and now you're offering me a ride?" replied Eli, scoffing.

Josh was surprised at the reaction but knew it was true. In school he always worried what other's thought and fearful of being found out he always played it safe, stayed on the periphery, never the center of attention.  But still he couldn't resist to want to help Eli. Not only to keep from going home, but also because there was something about Eli's situation that made him want to do it.

"Seriously" said Josh as he turned and headed for the store not waiting for a response.

Josh grabbed a soda and a bag of chips, paid Mr. Jenson and exited back out the front door hearing the bell ring as it opened and closed. Pulling the bag open he tilted it over his open mouth savoring the salty chips. Rounding the corner of the building he saw Eli still sitting on the picnic table holding his cell phone to his ear then holding it in front of him shaking his head in frustration.

"No luck getting your dad?"

"NO...no, he's still not accepting my calls" replied Eli as he shoved the phone into his backpack.

"My offer still stands. I don't mind, really."

"Seriously, you'll give me a ride?"

"Come on, get in the truck."

Elijah

It was unusually hot for October, and the cab seemed to radiate the day's heat. The air from the open windows felt nearly as hot providing no relief.  The truck rode roughly, worse even than his mother's old minivan, and the engine roar came through the fire wall along with the roar of the heavy treaded tires on the rough slag road. But there was something comforting about it, the heat and the vibrations and the noise. Even with sweat trickling down his back and each side he felt more relaxed than he had in a long time. Glancing over he realized why Josh seemed to always be in t-shirts or muscle shirts or tank tops, like now with a loose t-shirt billowing over his stomach and chest, the sleeve pushed up revealing more of his bicep.

Josh reached for the stereo switching the station. Eli recognized the song as one popular with everyone, but he didn't know the artist or the title. Turning away he looked out the side window watching the Mitchell farm pass then a stand of pine then the pasture for the Franklin's cows, the herd moving slowly across the low rolling grade, most with their heads down. Near the fence two donkeys were eating the tall grass that grew underneath it.

"Why do they have donkeys in with the cows?" asked Eli without turning around.

"What was that?"

"Those donkeys...why do they have them in with the cows?"

"Oh, to protect the herd from coyotes."

"Really?"

"Really."

Eli fell silent as Josh drove down the highway. Eli noticed he didn't have to give directions, Josh turned where needed each time till they were on the dirt road only a mile from his home. The dirt road had been graded sometime during the day making the ride smoother than normal.

"Your church...house is just past the bridge on the left, right?" asked Josh.

"Yeah."

"Eli, are you going to Will's Halloween party?" asked Josh as they began the descent down leading to the bridge.

"Halloween party? You're joking right?" asked Eli in reply, then when he looked back out the side window, lowering his voice, added "I don't get invited to parties."

"Eli..." Josh began falling silent for a moment, "look, there are no formal invitations. Most just show up. So why don't you come. I'll be there around nine, so why don't you arrive then."

"Do you know my father? Seriously, a Halloween party. Fuck...no way am I going to be able to..."

"Lie, tell him you're going to a movie or to stay at a friend's house."

"Lie...movie...a friend's house..." Eli mimicked Josh, laughing in frustration at him not understanding his life with his father.

The truck bounced over the rough bridge then settled back down on the opposite side, the engine roar increasing slightly as Josh pressed the accelerator to maintain speed up the steep incline.

"Look, I don't know what it must be like with your father, but..."

"Yeah, you don't" Eli interrupted but Josh continued.

"...but slip out or make up some plausible excuse then come to the party. Will lives just down the highway past your turn. It's not more than a mile or so, I think."

"Yeah, right."

Josh slowed when he saw the church in the woods turning into the second drive closer to it.  Pulling into the open parking area under the pines he slowed to a stop obviously unsure how to get to the house off in the distance.

"How do I get to your house?"

"I'll get out here. The drive is way over in that corner and I can just cut straight through on foot" Eli replied as he opened the door not giving Josh a chance to continue.

"Oh okay" said Josh.

Sliding down out of the truck slinging his backpack over a shoulder, Eli grabbed the door frame and pushed the door closed. Looking through the open window, he looked at Josh staring at him and for a moment he felt embarrassed at his thoughts, his response to seeing Josh sitting behind the wheel, the t-shirt twisted around his torso from the wind and a sliver of waist exposed, a narrow band of skin Eli's eyes locked on just before he turned to walk away.

"Thanks for the ride" Eli called out over his shoulder when he was a few feet away and he turned back toward his home with his head down, increasing his pace. He heard the truck moving around the lot then drive away.

Eli's mother was sitting on the sofa reading some paperback novel with a fan blowing across the room.

"Eli? Where's your father?"

"I have no idea. He didn't show up."

"Oh Eli" she replied knowing how it hurt Eli to be left waiting, this not the first time.  Eli acted tough about it, but she knew, could see it in his face, the hurt and anger for once again this father demonstrating he was not one of the most important things in his life. Eli moved through the living room, then the dining room into the kitchen.

"Is there any tea made?" he called from the kitchen.

"Look in the frig" she replied, getting up and going to the door of the kitchen watching Eli put ice in a glass and fill it with tea.  "Who brought you home?"

"One of the guys from school."

"Really?"

"Yes, mom, it seems they are not..." Eli hesitated then picked up the glass taking a long slow swallow.

"They are not all what?"

"Hateful" Eli replied going out the back of the kitchen to the small mudroom that led to his bedroom. "I've got some homework I need to get started on."

Eli closed his door, leaning against it for a minute wondering why today was different. Slipping his backpack off he went to his desk and sat down, not bothering to take out any textbooks. He just sat there staring out the window into the backyard and the woods beyond. He sat for a long time, the light of day dimming as the sun got lower and lower in the west, shadows stretching out long across the yard.

Paul

As he drove along the highway heading to Will’s party he felt it, a coolness in the air that signaled fall was finally arriving. It had been unusually warm for so long Paul had not bothered to set the hardtop on his Jeep and now he wondered how cool it would become as the night wore on. Lisa was already at the party helping with the food and decorations, so he found himself alone thinking of the future, his future in college and Lisa’s, who was joining the Peace Corp soon after graduating.

They had been honest with themselves, telling each other they would be breaking up sometime in the summer, each going on to a new life, a different one from the other. He would be in Florida for at least four years, maybe longer if he decided on a dual major. Lisa was going overseas, something she had been wanting to do for years. Where she wasn’t sure but any place other than here was fine with her. She just wanted something exotic, a culture that was different, and the sense of doing something important.

But now he was having second thoughts. Not on college or on Lisa going into the Peace Corps, but on them breaking up. He wondered if he could wait on her. She would be away for less than three years, which didn’t seem so long at times but at other times it seemed like a life time away. He had broached the subject, hinted at how he was feelings and Lisa seemed to be feeling the same way. But neither had had the courage to come right out with it. He was going to see how tonight went, watch how she reacted when she was alone or with others, and how she acted when she was with him.

“Dammit” Paul uttered as he adjusted his costume once again, the wind whipping in through the low-cut side pushing it up. Lisa had gotten him a Roman gladiator costume, and in the Jeep, it kept blowing upward. He held the steering wheel with his right hand, adjust the costume with his left. He swerved back and forth on the road, once running along the rough edge of the pavement, the Jeep bouncing roughly along till he got it back up on the smooth surface. Glancing down he tried to see if he had the costume tucked tightly under his thighs. When he looked up he automatically jerked the wheel left, hitting the brakes as he did so, for someone was walking on the edge of the road and he didn’t see them until he was upon them. Barely missing them he slid to a stop in the middle of the highway, the stench of rubber surrounding him as he held the steering wheel tight aware of how close he came to hitting someone.

Turning slowly around, almost afraid to look he saw their outline on the shoulder. They were bent over, hands on knees and Paul swore he could hear them breathing hard only to realize it was his own gasping for air. Putting the parking brake on he climbed down and went to the back of his Jeep where he held on to the side feeling the need for support.

“You okay?” asked Paul in a tentative voice.

“You scared the crap out of me, but I’m okay” came the reply and Paul instantly recognized it as Eli.

“What are you doing out here?”

“I was…going to the party” Eli replied, his voice tapering off till Paul barely heard what he said.

“Really?”

“Really. Is that so hard to believe” Eli said with a harder defiant tone.

“Hey man, it’s just…you have never gone to a party before.”

Eli stood up, moved out of the tall uncut grass on the shoulder into the road, hands deep into the pockets of his khakis.

“You’re right, but I…” Eli stammered to a stop, thinking it had been a mistake, the sneaking out, the idea of walking the mile or so to Will’s party, and the idea he could fit in with his own classmates. That he might have some fun.

Paul knew all the rumors, how Eli’s father was so controlling and to see this small defiance was curious. He liked it, this Eli before him.

“Well, how about you get in and I give you a ride since I’m heading there myself?”

It was the second time today he had been offered a ride and this time it was easier to say yes, easier to walk over to Paul’s Jeep, hold the grab bar on the dash and pull himself up and into the seat. It was strange to be sitting in a vehicle without a top or doors, the road so visible to his side. The freedom of it, the openness to everything, the cool air and the sky above. It seemed like a sign, something mythic, showing him a new way.

“How did you talk your father into letting you go?”

“I didn’t.”

Paul laughed, nodding his head in approval.

“No shit.  Elijah Baker defies his preacher-man daddy” exclaimed Paul. Eli began to laugh with Paul and the awkwardness that had existed between them began to erode. “What do you think he’ll say when he finds out you’re gone?”

“He probably won’t even know” Eli replied, and Paul caught the tone, the hint of something unsaid and he let the topic end. They came upon the farm where Will lived and saw a few windows in the house lit from within, but it was at the old barn in the rear of the home site at the edge of a large pasture where most of the light came. The barn was lit up, the main doors swung open and they could see classmates milling around. Behind the barn in the pasture a bonfire was burning.

“We have arrived” said Paul as he slowed down, shifting down into third and pulling into the second drive that would lead them to the barn.

Joshua

It was nearing midnight, the party settling into that quiet time, music playing in the background, everyone in small groups around the bonfire or inside the bar still snacking at the long table down the middle of the room or up in the hayloft sitting in a circle talking, visible to those below through the open door. Josh came back from the barn, another soda in hand spiked with some of bourbon Bryan had hidden in the barn. He moved around the bonfire past one group after the next hearing the quiet conversations as he passed. He looked on the far side and saw Eli, sitting with Paul and Lisa. Lisa was in the middle telling some story that made Paul and Eli laugh. It made him smile, the casualness of the scene, Eli part of the group, no longer just in the periphery, but included. He knew not everyone accepted Eli, for he had heard some of the comments from others, the taunts by Mitch which made him burn inside, fighting the desire to punch Mitch in the mouth.

Eli and he had talked at times over the evening, usually with others around but there had been one occasion, standing by the fence looking over the pasture to the dark horizon of trees beyond with the half moon overhead, its silvery light giving everything it touched a gray tone. Their conversation had been superficial, talking about the party with Josh mentioning how much of a dick Mitch could be without specifically referring to the nasty comments made earlier. Eli had stiffened at the mention of Mitch, so he changed the subject quickly, suggesting they grab another drink. He had coaxed Eli into letting him spike his drink over the course of the night. Not much, but enough to taste and he had seen the effects on Eli. He loosened up, laughed more and began to approach others more freely.

Now he saw Eli sway just a bit, laugh a little louder and he worried he had gotten him drunk.

“Hey guys, make some room” Josh stated as he came near Paul, Lisa and Eli.

Lisa moved into Paul’s lap and pulled on Eli’s arm to slide closer to them, “sit here” she pointed on the other side of Eli. Josh sat next to Eli realizing how close they had to be to fit on the old bench. His leg rubbed along Eli’s, their shoulders touched, and his left arm felt every movement of Eli’s right arm.

“You were right, Joshua, this is a fun party” Eli stated as he leaned against Josh.

“You do seem to be having fun” replied Josh, “maybe a bit too much?”

“Oh, leave him alone” Lisa said reaching over Eli and jabbing her index finger into his thigh.

Josh laughed, “Okay Lisa, whatever you say.”

Over the next hour the party wound down. People left in small groups till only a few remained. Lisa was in the barn bagging the garbage while Paul helped put sodas not consumed into a refrigerator that was in the barn. Eli and Josh moved the chairs and benches around the bonfire back into the barn as Will hosed down the hot coals making sure the fire was completely out. There were three other classmates helping, putting open boxes or bags of snacks into containers or walking the area picking up trash.

As Will turned off the lights and closed the barn doors Paul and Lisa climbed into his Jeep with Josh and Eli standing nearby.

“Eli, you going to get home okay” Lisa asked leaning over Paul.

“Yeah, I’m just up the road. I’ll be fine.”

“Just up the road? It’s a mile or longer” exclaimed Paul, “get in back and I…”

“I’ll take him home” Josh interrupted.

“Good…make sure he gets home okay” said Lisa as she fastened her seatbelt.

“I will” replied Josh as he glanced over at Eli, red faced, swaying just a bit still and he knew Eli had over done it.  He wondered if Eli should go home like this. First, he snuck out now he was a bit drunk, something his father would freak out about. He wondered if he should take him back to his place. And if he was honest with himself, he wanted to bring Eli home, even if it was just let him crash on the floor of his room. There was something about Eli he recognized. Something that scared him a little.

He took Eli over to his truck, helped him to get buckled in and climbed in behind the wheel. The old truck started immediately, rumbling in its idle as he looked over at Eli who seemed to be zoning out, his expression suddenly different.

“What is it?” Josh asked as he put the truck in gear and eased down the drive toward the road.

“Nothing…I mean, the party was fun and I’m glad…” Eli hesitated, and Josh looked over seeing him looking back at him, his face all serious, “…you pushed me to come.”

“Oh hell, Eli you just have to make the first move sometimes, be bold, ya know?”

“I guess. Now I just have to face my father” Eli added giving a derisive laugh.

Josh stared down the highway as far as his headlights illuminated in the dark of night, “you can crash at my place tonight and face him in the morning…if you want?”

It was quiet in the cab for a long time, the only sound the engine and the air swirling around in the cab. Eli seemed to be frozen in place, not moving in any way, eyes looking straight ahead. Josh glanced over a few times waiting for a response.

“Serious? You’d let me come over?”

“Yeah, why not. My folks…well, they don’t freak out about a little partying so long as I don’t drive drunk or let my friends. And they are leaving early in the morning for Montgomery.”

After a long silence, Josh finally heard Eli reply, voice so low he barely heard him.

“Okay.”

Elijah

After using the small bathroom on the hall, Eli sat on the edge of Josh’s bed waiting for him to come back from using the bathroom. He pulled out his phone and saw several messages and texts from his mother, then his father. He didn’t bother to read them knowing what they were about. He pulled up his mother’s number and began to type.

I’m staying at a friend’s house and will be home in the morning.

He hit send and waited. It seemed like only a second passed, hardly enough time to read his text much less type a reply, but a text came up almost immediately on his phone. It was his father.

Come home immediately.

Eli ignored it pushing his phone back into his pocket and waited for Josh. Right now, he knew it would not be wise to go home. He felt rebellious in a way he had never felt before. Maybe it was the alcohol. But he knew should he face his father now it would be a fight like they never had before. And how it would end he had no idea. Grounded for a long time, as if that would be any different from the way things were, or worse, kicked out. There was a part of him that wondered if getting kicked out would be so bad, the idea of being free of his father now rather than later was enticing.

Looking around the room, the basketball trophies, the photos on top of the dresser and desk where a new laptop sat open and to the side of the desk a television with a gaming console beneath it on a shelf. All of it looked so normal. And to Eli, it looked so alien. He stood up and went to the desk picking up a photograph of Josh. It was recent, his hair cut short like it is now, smiling at the camera with his almost perfect teeth and dimples that framed his mouth. Josh was attractive, no doubt about it and Eli wondered what it would be like to have a boyfriend who looked like him. Tall, athletic, outgoing, leading the way through life. Looking at the photograph he realized the blue background made Josh’s blue eyes stand out even more.

“That was taken just before school started. Mom makes us have them done every year” Josh stated as he came into the room, towel draped over his shoulders wearing only boxers.

“When did you cut your hair?”

“Back in June. Got tired of dealing with it” said Josh as he moved into the room standing a few feet behind Eli. He had worn his hair long ever since sixth grade, so it had been a surprise to everyone when they saw the new look, hair close cut on the sides with some length left in it on top. “Eli? Do you want me to make you a place on the floor or do you want to just sleep in the bed with me? It’d be tight, but it would be more comfortable.”

“Whatever you prefer” Eli replied, his mouth suddenly dry and his heart racing in his chest. Why was he nervous? Was he afraid he would do something in his sleep like reach over and try to snuggle up to Josh?

Josh turned to his bed and pulled the covers back, “It’ll be easier to just climb in the bed. You don’t snore do you?” he added as he stood up looking at Eli, smiling to let him know he was joking.

“I don’t think so” Eli replied as he slipped off his shoes, then socks. He tried not to look at Josh, but he couldn’t refrain from looking at the tall lean body, the way muscle created curves and shapes under the skin. When Josh leaned over the bed he saw the knots of vertebrate along his spine that disappeared when he stood back up. There was the flex of biceps, his neck that was slightly long, and the shoulders that were angled out either side. Eli moved to the far side and started to get into bed.

“Hey man, get out of your clothes. They smell of the bonfire” said Josh as he turned on the lamp then went over to turn out the overhead light.

“Oh yeah” Eli mumbled suddenly embarrassed, wondering how Josh was see him without his shirt or pants on. He unbuttoned the shirt slowly, timidly, till it fell open revealing his lean torso, flat from chest down to his waist. He looked over into the mirror seeing a pale skinny kid then his eyes moved down and saw Josh. Josh seemed to be watching him, eyes serious but hiding the intent behind them. Pulling the shirt from his shoulders it fell down his arms till he was able to slip free of it.

“Just lay your clothes on the chair” Josh whispered.

As Eli worked his khakis free, the button then zipper he felt his heart racing, the pumping of blood around his head and he subconsciously turned away from Josh as he pushed the khakis down his legs. Tossing the pants on top of his shirt he felt himself in his body, tall, long legged, long arms, skinny in his mind. Glancing in the mirror he saw Josh was still watching him. He felt embarrassed, at how he looked and at the cheap white boxers he was wearing, comparing them to the blue plaid pair Josh had on.

“Come on, get in bed. It’s late and we should get some sleep” whispered Josh.

Easing into bed as Josh turned off the lamp the room fell into darkness. He lay on his back, arms crossed on his chest afraid to move. He normally slept on his stomach and wasn’t sure he could really sleep like this, but he lay still, not moving, listening to every sound Josh made. The room lay in silence for a long time till Eli wondered if Josh was asleep. Then Josh moved, shifting position till one leg brushed up next to his and an arm lay next to his side barely touching him. But he felt it, the warm sensation it gave him, this casual contact. He lay still, wondering if Josh would move closer, hoping, pleading with him in his mind to do so.

Joshua

Josh replayed the events of the day over in his mind, till he thought of that one conversation where he told Eli to be bold, to go for what he wanted. It was good advice. If only he could take it himself. He listened to Eli, not moving, completely still barely breathing. The darkness of the room gave no sight, nothing but a pitch-black darkness that concealed everything, including his right hand at his crotch, fingers fishing through the fly to touch himself. He was half hard with his thoughts of being next to Eli. Of Eli taking off his shirt so slowly, revealing his chest then stomach, smooth, flat, with skin like white marble. He thought of the tall lean body and how the baggy fitting clothes had concealed it. He grew anxious, feeling his sexuality, aroused by having Eli next to him. He thought he could feel the heat of Eli’s body, the bed warming quickly with the two of them in it.

“Oh hell, Eli you just have to make the first move sometimes, be bold, ya know?”

‘Yeah, be bold’ he thought as he shifted closer to Eli, just enough to let his leg brush up against Eli. He moved his arm till he felt the warmth of Eli’s body along its length and he waited. Would Eli move away, shift over breaking the contact? He knew Eli was still awake, could tell by his breathing. Eli lay still, didn’t move keeping their contact.

‘Be bold.’

Josh rolled onto his side facing toward Eli. He couldn’t see him, but he felt his presence. Tentatively he reached out, his right hand shaking with nervousness as he brought it over where Eli’s stomach would be, easing it down till he rested on the undulating warm skin. He felt the way Eli’s breathing increased.

“Is this okay?” Josh whispered.

It seemed an eternity before Eli replied as he felt the heat of the touch, the contact of his hand on Eli’s stomach.

“Yes” Eli whispered back, his voice hoarse, broken.

Josh felt movement then Eli’s hand touched his arm just above the wrist, fingers grazing over his skin, almost ticklish, as they moved up his arm and back down. He felt embolden and slipped his hand over Eli’s waist and guided him to roll over on his side facing him, their bodies inches apart. He moved closer till he felt their chest touch, their knees, then Eli’s hot breath on his neck just before he felt him nestle in against it. He pushed forward with his hips feeling his cock then hips touch Eli and he pressed himself tightly against Eli. He felt Eli against him, hard, flexing against his abdomen.

He moved his hand downward, slipping beneath the waistband of Eli’s boxer till he felt the curvature of his ass. His fingers slid down between the cheeks and he flexed his hand feeling the firm cheek as he pulled Eli closer, grinding their crotches together. He was aroused, fully erect. Eli pulled back and Josh soon felt fingers tracing his hardness through his boxers, felt them search for the fly then work through it till those fingers were touching bare skin. He gasped as they encircled his shaft.

“Take off your boxers” Josh whispered in Eli’s ear and he moved back giving himself room to work his own boxers down as Eli did the same.

He felt Eli’s cock touch his own, the momentarily rub of skin against skin and he shuddered, feeling his arousal, the total hardness of his cock. In the dark, only the sensation of touch and sound he was acutely aware of every movement or the noise of the Eli’s breathing. He reached out and felt Eli’s hips, let his hand move along the long straight line of Eli’s torso then down between them, his fingers raking over the undulating stomach then touching it then letting it fill his hand. Every move was mirrored on his own body, every touch, as Eli mimicked him till his own cock was held firmly in Eli’s hand. It made him flex within the tight grasp. Moving forward till he felt a smooth cheek against his own, knowing his own would feel of rough, the stubble of a beard coming in. He kissed the smooth skin then lips that kissed back.

The room seemed to disappear, the two of them occupying only the dark space within, as hands moved over the other, lips kissing lips then moving over skin, along jaws or along necks, tugging on earlobes and nipping the flesh. Josh didn’t want it to stop, wanted these sensations to last forever but his arousal drove him, pushed him toward the need for release. And Eli grew aggressive, suddenly alive beside him, arms and legs seemed to be everywhere, touching him all over, manipulating him, pushing him for something more.

Josh was surprised when Eli took each of his hands, held them tightly as he was rolled over on his back, Eli moving on top holding his hands down over his head. He felt the kisses, along his neck, then along the side of his face then on his own lips. He opened his mouth letting the tongue move beside his own. He pushed upward with his hips and felt his cock pressed between their bodies. Eli began to move over him, rock his lower body back and forth and it rubbed over his hardness, stroking his arousal. Clinching his teeth Josh stifled his desire to cry out.

Eli let his hands go, sitting up and rocking his body with greater urgency. Josh felt the way Eli moved his ass over him, the way he would rock smoothly back and forth then grind down on his cock making him push upward increasing the pressure.

“Put it in me…please” Eli whispered as he rose up. Josh thought he was going to have to do it, hold his cock up for Eli but he felt the long delicate fingers take him once again, holding him up straight. There was pressure on the head of his cock, a push downward then he felt it, the opening stretching to let him in, squeezing down on the head of his cock. Slowly, painfully slow, the tightness moved down his shaft till he felt the head in the heat of Eli’s body, soft, almost sucking him deeper inward.

“Jesus” Josh uttered as he felt his cock sink deeper and deeper till Eli was sitting on his abdomen.  Eli leaned over and kissed him then hovered over his face breathing hard.

“Josh…” Eli whispered in the darkness as he began to move, upward then back down, working his body along the length of Josh’s cock. He moved in a slow deliberate pace and Josh felt the tight ring of Eli’s opening as it moved along his shaft, stroking him till he couldn’t stop himself, aroused beyond all reason and he pushed upward with Eli’s downward movement, their bodies smacking together.

“Fuck me…fuck me…” Eli whispered in the dark and Josh felt him slow, a hesitation in what to do next, and he hugged their bodies together and rolled him over on his back. He came up between Eli’s legs and lifted each to his shoulders, shifted forward sinking back into Eli’s depths he moved over him, folded him over beneath his body till he was kissing his lips and neck, till he felt Eli’s hot breath on his neck and lower body turned upward for him, angled for his fuck, and he drove inward hard then pulled back so he could drive in again, over and over. He felt this primitive urge, this desire to fuck till release and he drove his hips faster and faster. Eli began to moan and cry out and he pressed his lips to Eli’s to quiet him.

Josh fucked with all his strength, his entire being focused on Eli beneath him and the connection between their bodies, his cock sunk into Eli’s depths, thrusting through the tightness. He felt Eli against his stomach, a hand stroking cock in rhythm with their fuck.  

“Yeah…come of Eli…come…come for me…do it” Josh whispered as he drove into Eli’s depths, felt his own arousal build to imminent release. Every thrust inward, sinking into Eli’s depths rocked the bed making everything seem to move with them. The bed, the room, even the darkness and time itself as Josh felt the heat of Eli’s body against his skin and enveloping his cock. He pushed inward with urgency every time. Then he felt it, the hot spatter against his chest and stomach, the warm release by Eli against his skin. He smelled it, the oddness of it yet so familiar. Eli was uttering small gasping cries beneath him as his own body shivered with release. He fucked harder, faster, his own release surging through him filling the depths of Eli’s body.

Elijah

The sun slipped through the blinds, bands of light cutting across the floor, the bed and over the far wall. Eli woke slowly, fitfully, feeling the embrace of arms around him, the heat of someone’s body against his own. As he woke he felt his own nakedness, the way his cock, piss hard, stuck out freely in front of him. The bed was warm, the bedsheet soft against his skin. He felt warm breath against the back of his neck and he opened his eyes as he realized where he was at, in Josh’s room. Dried cum clung to his chest and inner thigh and he felt Josh’s cock pressed against his ass. He remembered it being in his ass, thrusting deeply within him and a moment of panic over came him. Then he remembered this was a mutual thing, something Josh had wanted too. He raised up slowly looking over his shoulder and saw Josh looking back at him.

“Good morning. You okay?” Josh asked as he snuggled up closer.

“Yeah…it’s just…”

“You didn’t know where you were at first?” Josh asked suddenly smiling.

Eli smiled, “something like that. What time is it?”

“A little after nine.”

“Oh shit, seriously. I have to go, I have to…”

“What? Go face your father. What’s the hurry?”

“But…it’s just…I don’t know.”

“Exactly. Let’s get up, shower and get dressed then have some breakfast, and then I can take you home.”

Eli hesitated to climb out of bed, conscious of his nakedness but when Josh threw back the covers revealing his body he relaxed. He watched Josh rake off dried cum from his stomach.

“Jesus you cum a lot. Did you know that?”

“No.”

“Well, it was everywhere. I can’t let mom see these sheets” Josh laughed as he moved his feet to the floor and stood up. “Mom and dad left early this morning going to Montgomery, so we have the house to ourselves. Come on and lets shower.”

Eli didn’t know what was better. Lying in bed with someone, their arms holding him, or being in the shower with them, the hot water steaming up the bathroom and relaxing their bodies. Josh ran soapy hands over his back, around his torso across his chest and stomach and down till they toyed with his cock, manipulated it till he was hard.

Josh kissed the back of his neck as water cascaded down over his head and down his body. Looking down he watched the hands moving over his body, slickly rubbing his skin, then stroking his cock till he began to pump his hips involuntarily, the urge to fuck, this primitive need, rising up within him.

“Eli…do me” Josh whispered into his ear and moved away from him. Turning he saw Josh turned to the far wall, hands on it bracing himself, body bent over slightly offering himself to Eli. “Come on Eli, do me, I want to feel what it is like” said Josh as he held his head down waiting.

Eli moved to him, took his cock, soaped it up then rubbed it along the cleft of Josh’s ass, up and down raking over the tight opening till Josh was pushing back.

“Stop teasing me…please…” Josh exclaimed as he pushed back more.

Eli put his cock to the tight opening, pressed against it feeling it resist him, fight to keep him out. He wrapped one arm around Josh’s waist and held his cock with the other. Pulling Josh back as he pushed forward he felt the tightness give, the opening stretch till he was penetrating Josh, his cock squeezing through the tight ring. It was so tight, milking his cock as he forced it in, slowly, inch by inch. He leaned over Josh, hands placed over each of Josh’s and pushed the final inch through the tightness.

“Oh FUCK…” Josh uttered as his whole body quivered with the penetration.

Holding Josh against the wall, Eli began to fuck, his tall lean body undulating against Josh, driving inward all the way then pulling out till he nearly slipped free. He drove every inch through Josh’s tightness till he felt it loosen, felt his cock move with ease through it. Josh began to move with him, pushing back to meet his forward thrust. Their bodies smacked noisily against each other. Josh’s cries, his pleading for Eli to fuck him echoing in the small room.

Eli reached around Josh, knocked his hand away from his cock and took it, stroked it with his own, with a furious pace, roughly, rocking Josh back and forth. Josh shifted in his arms, slamming their bodies together then rocking forward. He stroked Josh’s cock faster, felt it swell in his grasp as Josh shuddered against him. Then he felt it flex in his hand, over and over, and he knew it was with release. He felt it not only in his hand, flexing with each ejaculation, but in the way Josh milked his cock, the spasm around his shaft as he shoved through it. He felt his own release, his cock so sensitive to his every move, and he leaned forward, lightly biting Josh on the shoulder as he came, jabbing inward with every ejaculation.

After their shower, back in the bedroom Josh went through his closet pulling out some clothes that he thought Eli could wear, since he was larger in the waist and across the chest knew most of his things would be too big. Eli was going to put on his clothes from the night before, but Josh had insisted, refusing to take no as an answer.

“Get your ass dressed and meet me in the kitchen. We’ll eat something then I’ll take you home.”

Joshua

He drove slowly, not sure if he wanted the morning to end like this, not sure he wanted to take Eli home, knowing as soon as he did things would change. He wondered if Eli would be grounded, his father tightening down on his control over him. Or could it be worse, for the way Eli was acting made him wonder.

“Hey, Eli?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re not regretting what we did are you?  I mean…I’m not.”

“No. I’m glad I…we did it.”

“What do you think it’ll be like now?”

“What do you mean?” Eli asked turning to Josh.

“Next week, the month after, or next year when we graduate?”

Eli knew what he meant, had been thinking the same thing himself. Would they even speak to each other now letting things go back to the way they were before? Or would Josh want to do be with him again?

“Josh…” Eli began, hesitating, afraid to say what he wanted to say in case it was not what Josh wanted. He searched for the words but a different way of asking he couldn’t work out, “do you want to forget about last night and let things go back as before?”

“No…no, Eli, I don’t.”

“Then you want to get together sometimes, and…”

“Yes. We’re finishing high school, in this small hick community and as far as I know, we only have each other. Look…I know with your grades you’ll be able to go wherever you choose for college, full scholarship, the works. My grades are not perfect, and I’ll go to state or…somewhere. Come next fall I know the two of us will go our separate ways, but till then, till we leave this place…”

Eli smiled at Josh, nodding his head.

“Till we leave this place” Eli repeated as some mantra that was to sustain them for the remainder of the year.

Josh turned onto the dirt road that led to Eli’s home, accelerating back to speed, dust kicking up in their wake.

“Till we leave this place” Josh repeated.

He slowed down, drove at a leisurely pace.

“Eli?”

“Yeah?”

“I know at school I seem to be right in the middle of everything. One of the popular kids, on the basketball team, invited to all the parties but most of the time I feel on the edge of things, not part of the core group. And I know for you it has been worse, but after last night, at the party and later, well, don’t stay off to the side. Don’t let your father dictate who you are.”

“That is easier said than done.”

“Stand up to him. Now, as soon as we get to your place. He left you waiting remember? Don’t tell him you went to the party, just tell him you were at my place, angry for being left waiting again.”

“I don’t know…you don’t know what he is like.”

“You’re right but sooner or later…”

Josh turned into the first drive and headed to the back corner of the lot where a drive looped around to the house behind the church. He eased along the rough two rut drive bouncing over the ground till he was at the house. He let the truck coast up near the front and stopped as Eli’s father, the preacher, came out the door. He was a tall man, lean in build, his short hair turning gray, his face weathered and rough looking. Eli opened the door and slid out onto his feet.

“You can leave. Go on, Josh, just go.”

“No” replied Josh as he too climbed out and fell in behind Eli.

“Get into this house, now. And you, get off this property.”

Eli had been prepared to go in, to take whatever was to come, but when his father turned on Josh something snapped, and he moved up close to his father showing he wasn’t afraid any more.

“No. He’s my friend who…”

“Friend? You don’t have any friends.”

“Until now, that was true and that is because of you. And yesterday you showed me how much you don’t care by leaving me stranded again. How many times, dad?  Five, ten…no twelve times you’ve left me stranded and you expect my obedience, some total submission to you? No, not any more. Josh let me stay at his house last night, so I wouldn’t have to deal with this…whatever this is…but no more.”

Eli hadn’t raised his voice, hadn’t gotten in his father’s face, instead he spoke calmly, evenly, facing down his father’s unholy wrath. Opening his mouth to speak his father leaned forward and Eli expected the worse.

“Leave him alone” came Eli’s mother’s voice from the porch. “This stops now. You leave him alone; do you hear me?” She moved down the steps till she was on the last one, reaching out for Eli. “Come on son, it’s okay. And I’m sorry, I didn’t get your name,” addressing Josh.

“Joshua…Josh.”

“Josh, thanks for taking Eli in. I appreciate it. Unfortunately, I must ask you to leave and let us…deal with this.”

“Yes mam” Josh replied as he backed up to the driver’s door. He wanted to smile at the preacher, to let him know what he thought but looking at Eli he couldn’t do it.  He backed the truck around and started to head out the drive when he looked back at the porch, only Eli and his mother still out. They waved, smiling his way and he knew things were going to be different for Eli. He had no expectations of things being what he considered normal, but he felt Eli would have an easier time at home till he finally was able to leave.

There was no sunshine on Monday, the sky dark, clouds moving from the southwest heading northeast releasing rain in their path. Running late after over sleeping, Josh just knew the bell had rang for classes to begin. He ran across the wet parking lot, up the sidewalk and into the corridor, glad to see the bell had not rung for the first period class. Everyone was milling around the corridor in their usual groups. Mitch and the other bullies standing by the bathroom door waiting to do mischief, and the others grouped along the corridor, standing at lockers or in doorways, talking and laughing, watching others move down the corridor. Everything seemed the same, till he came upon Lisa and Paul standing with a group near their first period class door. Josh recognized him immediately, the dark hair, the tall lean body, but it was different, looser in its stance and he moved up behind him, throwing his left arm around his shoulders as if they had been best buds for years.

“What are you talking about?”

“Why are your ears burning” asked Lisa laughing.

Just for a moment Josh wondered if they knew, if they knew about Eli and him. He glanced over at Eli and saw the slight shake of his head. No, they didn’t, and he relaxed, knowing it was just the usual banter, only now it included Eli.

The bell rang, and the day began, one class after the next, till the lunch break, then back to the next class. In the last class Josh sat in usual seat next to Paul, sliding down till his legs lay either side of the desk in front of him. The teacher was late, and they sat waiting, Josh staring out the window watching it rain, his mind going back to the weekend, as it had all day.

“Okay asshole, spill?” Paul whispered, leaning over the aisle closer.

“What? What are you talking about?”

“You. You’ve been in la-la land all day” said Paul, then leaning closer he added, “did something happen after the party?”

“After the party?”

“Come on Josh, you know what the fuck I mean. You have been acting weird all day, and Eli, well, he has been acting normal, I mean, he is talking to others, hanging out with everyone and it has not escaped my attention that whenever you two are in the same class…fourth period?...or in the lunch room, you’re sitting together. And at times whispering to each other.  Come on, Josh, I hope you have, but I’m going to be shocked as shit if…Eli is the one.”

“Well…” Josh hesitated but knew Paul was just trying to be the friend he needed, and he leaned closer lowering his voice so no one else could hear, “you’re just going to have to be shocked.”

At the end of sixth period, Josh went by his locker, grabbed the books he needed from other classes packing them into his backpack and headed for the door. It was still raining, and he saw some of the others under the aluminum canopy waiting to see if the rain slowed. He moved through them weaving back and forth till he came to the nearest point with his truck. He didn’t hesitate, getting a hold of the backpack strap to hold it firmly in place he took off across the parking lot. He ran up to his truck and grabbed the door handle knowing it was already unlocked. Tossing his backpack inside he climbed in behind the wheel and pushed his wet hair back from his forehead, so it wouldn’t drip into his eyes.

“You look like a drowned rat” Eli exclaimed stifling a laugh.

Josh looked over at his passenger, his dark hair hanging down concealing one eye, clothes as wet as his own.

“Have you looked in a mirror?”

Truck started Josh pulled into the line of cars heading to the exit. They inched forward as one after the next pulled out heading home.

“Your mother okay with you coming over?”

“Yeah, I told her you needed some help with homework.”

“That isn’t a lie. What did your father say?”

“Nothing. We haven’t talked much since yesterday. Actually, we haven’t talked at all” said Eli smiling.

Josh turned into the drive pulling to the side of the house into his spot. Eli followed him as they crossed the carport going by the truck and car parked within, through the side door into a mudroom, the washing machine running and a laundry basket full for the next load. In the kitchen Josh laid his backpack in a chair motioning Eli to do the same.

"Let's get a drink before heading to my room" said Josh as he reached for the refrigerator door.

Empty glasses set in the sink Eli followed him into the family room where Josh's mother sat reading. They talked with her for a minute, Josh telling her of his day after introducing Eli, then telling her they were going to do their homework. As they left the room Josh's mother called out to them to get out of their wet clothes and put something dry on. Josh told her they would as he led Eli out of the room, going down the long Hall, past a couple of bedrooms down to his room, the room Eli had been just the morning before.

Their backpacks tossed on the bed, Josh pulled open a dresser drawer taking out gym shorts, handing one pair to Eli. They stripped out of their wet clothes, down to their boxers then slipped on the shorts.

"Take my chair and I'll go get a chair from the dining room" said Josh. Eli sat in the desk chair swiveling around to face the door waiting on him to return.  He rummaged in his backpack pulling out a couple of textbooks and his notebook. Josh returned with a dining chair setting it down next Eli. "Let's do this first for it is what I'm struggling with the most" said Josh pointing at the science textbook.

Settled down, Josh leaning over the book listening to Eli explain the subject making notes as they went. They went through each subject till they were moving to their fourth period class, calculus. Josh eased his hand onto Eli's thigh, moving it upward toward his crotch. Eli stammered, his concentration broken, and he glanced at the smiling Josh who's raised eyebrows showed the mischievousness lurking there.

"Josh, you boys doing okay" Josh's mother said as she came into the doorway causing him to jerk his hand away as he turned to her.

"Yes, almost done, I think" replied Josh wondering if she saw anything.  He saw her smile as she leaned against the door frame and knew she had not seen his hand on Eli's thigh.

"Good. I'm going to follow your dad to Greenville. His truck has something wrong, some sensor or something. We’re going to drop it off at the dealer. Afterward we're going to the grocery store. We should be back by seven or so."

"Okay."

"Eli, you want to stay for dinner? I'm going to pick up a couple of pizzas that just need to be popped into the oven when we get back."

"Huh, yeah, if you're sure."

"It's no trouble and you are helping Josh, so it's the least I can do. Josh, you guys get your homework wrapped up so when we get back there is no rush to eat and get back to it."

"Okay."

As she went back down the hall Josh looked at his watch, seeing it was five. Looking at Eli he smiled nodding his head.

"How much more do we have?" Josh asked Eli.

"Just these six problems here."

"Let's get them done."

Eli was very good with calculus, quickly explaining the problems in a way different than Mr. Baird which helped Josh work through each problem. The sixth problem done, pencil dropped on his notebook, he leaned back looking over at Eli. He pointed at his watch.

"It's five twenty."

"And..." Eli replied smiling knowing what he meant.

"And we have nearly an hour and half with no parental supervision" said Josh as he pushed his chair back easing down to the floor on his knees, swiveling Eli around facing him. Slipping his hands between Eli's knees, a hand on each he slowly spread them apart. Leaning forward, he put his face into the soft cotton crotch of the gym shorts working his mouth over them till he felt Eli's growing erection. He moved his mouth along its length feeling it swell up thicker, longer, till it pushed back against his mouth. Hands moving to Eli's waist he tugged down on the shorts and boxers, Eli raising his hips letting him slide them down easily.

"Nice" Josh whispered as he went back down to the hard cock lying over to the left. He went to the head, tonguing it, feeling the smooth skinned head flex with his ministrations. Slipping his mouth over it he brought it up allowing him to take it, letting inch after inch move through his lips. Eli shuddered, leaning back till he was looking up at the ceiling feeling the heat, the wet slickness of Josh's mouth on his cock.

When Josh released Eli he sat back on his heels and tugged at his own cock, it painfully confined inside his boxers. Eli stroked his spit wet cock, slowly, hand moving up and down maintaining his arousal. Josh watched as he stood up, slipping his own shorts and boxers off. He moved to Eli, straddling him, till his cock raked over Eli's chest leaving a trail over the smooth white skin. Eli held his cock up waiting, impatiently, his desire for Josh consuming him. Neither said anything, didn't have to for they knew what they wanted.  Josh eased down dragging his cock down Eli's chest and stomach as he brought his ass down to Eli's cock, working his hips back and forth feeling the slick head rake over his opening. It stirred his desires, stroked him up till he couldn't stop himself. He felt the stretch of his opening, the penetration as he moved  down on Eli's cock,  inch after inch sinking into his depths till he sat in Eli's lap.

They kissed, and Josh felt Eli's hands rub his back, downward to his ass and back up to his shoulders, fingers digging into his flesh, urgent, wanting. Eli moved to his neck then his ear, tongue following its curvature. He shivered at the sensation of it all. Moving upward he felt Eli slide through his opening. Then he went back down, taking Eli once again. Over and over Josh moved up and down till the chair moved with their fuck.

"Jesus" Josh uttered as he savored the way it felt to have Eli sunk into his depths, they way it touched something deep inside him. The way it locked them together, the connection of their bodies. He worked his body up and down till sweat beaded up on his skin. Eli hugged his waist, kissing him on the chest. He held Eli by the head moving him to his right nipple. Eli tongued it, then sucked it.

"Bite down on it...come on, do it" Josh pleaded with Eli and he felt the teeth take the hard nub and bite down.  It sent shivers down his spine and made his cock flex, hard and leaking on Eli's stomach. Josh rocked his hips, moved up and down faster and faster till he was exhausted, his legs shaking.

Sitting on Eli's lap he kissed him, passionately, then whispered in his ear.

"Let's move to the bed."

Backpacks tossed onto the floor, covers pulled to the foot of the bed Josh laid back on the bed pulling Eli down with him.

"Fuck me...come on Eli, shove it back in" Josh pleaded as he put his legs around Eli's waist.

Eli was soon over him, cock sunk into his hole, hips rising and falling with their fuck. The bed rocked against the wall and squeaked with their motions.

"Fuck...fuck..." Josh uttered as Eli's pace remained furious.

He felt the way Eli's pace grew ragged, the thrusts hard, as if Eli was trying to shove deeper within his hole and he urged him on, begged him to fuck harder.

He knew Eli was at the point of release, saw the way he moved, felt the way he shuddered, eyes closed and mouth open crying out. Jabbing inward, once, twice, three times then collapsing on top of him, he knew Eli was spent.

Eli moved down beside him. Hands touched him, rubbed his chest then manipulated his cock. He was hard, leaking, Eli's hand smearing the slickness down along his shaft. Rolling on his side, he turned Eli till he was facing away from him. Hugging their bodies together, Josh worked his cock up to Eli's opening, pushed against its tightness. Eli pushed back forcing the head of his cock through its tightness. Josh pushed inward sinking into Eli's depths. He held the long lean body against his own, his hand moving up till he cupped Eli's chin pulling his head back.

"Take me...take me Eli...take me" Josh whispered as he fucked him, worked his hips driving all the way inward.

Their movements were different from before, side to side, a slow rocking motion the bed mimicked. Josh buried his nose in Eli's hair capturing his scent. He kissed the smooth skin of Eli's neck as he let a couple of fingers slip inside Eli's mouth.

"Goddamn…fuck" Josh uttered as he pushed his cock through Eli's tightness.

Josh felt the surge of release, felt his cock grow so sensitive he could barely take it, and he shoved inward as he ejaculated his load. He jabbed his cock inward with each ejaculation till he felt the end of his release and he fell still, totally spent.

Eli

(August after graduation)

The summer passed too quickly. As excited as he was to leave for college, he was going to miss Josh and their time together. They knew this day was coming, this day when they would part ways. They had talked about it, joked about it, supported each other's plans, offering encouragement over the last few months. He looked around the narrow room that had been his bedroom making sure he had packed the personal effects he wanted to take with him, knowing he was not coming back to this place.  His mother planned to come visit him in a month and he knew she would come other times too, always alone. He went over to his desk and thumbed through the few books left on it making sure they were the ones he didn't want. His fingers traced the spines of each book, the titles faded and obscured by the many readings endured at the hands of previous owners, then his own reading.  Near the end he realized one novel was there he wanted, one of his favorites by a Japanese author, the cover of the thick paperback torn and creased from several readings. He put it in the box that was open and taped it shut. It wasn't much really, the things of his life, just two small boxes and two suit cases. His backpack held the used laptop his mother bought for him along with some notebooks, pens and pencils and a calculator.

He turned and listened, wondering what his mother was doing now. He knew it was some unnecessary task to keep her occupied. His father was gone, some revival he organized over in Mississippi. Eli knew his father did it on purpose not wanting to be here when he left. They barely spoke to each other over the last year. For the last couple of months Eli wondered if his father knew about him and Josh, knew what they were doing anytime they could get alone, which was frequently.

"I'm ready" Eli called out. His sister and mother came into his room and helped him carry his things to the minivan. They loaded everything up and climbed in. They would take him to the bus station where he would take it north, for the nineteen-hour drive, stopping in small towns and cities along the way to the next phase of his life. Josh had come by last night for he was leaving this morning as well, heading west to college in Texas.

It was still morning when his mother and sister returned home, neither talking about his leaving, the silence that would grow worse, his mother knowing he was probably never coming back. She knew her son, knew the things no one wanted to discuss. His struggles, the unfairness of it all, but she had seen another side of him in the last year. One that gave her hope for his happiness. In the quiet of the house she made her way to Eli's room wondering what was left knowing the old toys he was too old to hold claim too now, the certificates of achievement and perfect attendance records would be there.  She moved into the narrow room seeing the made bed and the dresser, the drawers nearly empty. On the desk she saw it, Eli's Bible laying in the center of it, left behind with the other things he didn’t want.

Paul

(Spring Semester, Freshman year)

He sat at his desk in the dorm room trying to ignore the noise coming from the corridor. He closed his laptop and took out the stationary he kept in his top drawer. Lisa was overseas, in Africa, working with the Peace Corp in an area without electricity, and their best means of communication was old style letters.  He hated it at first, the long waits between each one, but over time he grew to accept it and the excitement of each letter he received from Lisa. They were in a box in his bottom drawer where he could reread them, which he did often.

 Taking up his pen, he began another letter to Lisa.

Lisa;

How are things there? Did you guys get your compost toilets built? I cannot imagine you doing that, but then again, the whole primitive thing is surprising. Classes are okay, my grades not bad, if I say so myself. I have an English paper due Monday and no idea what to write about. The hardest part!!!

 I heard from Josh. He seems happy and I think I know why. He has finally found someone that he actually talks about in a serious manner. The first since you know who. I'm just glad he is doing well in his classes. He seems more focused than he ever was in high school. But that last year with Eli seemed to help him.  If everyone knew what about the two of them last year they would freak out, but if they thought about how it made both of them better, especially Eli, then I can't understand why it is so bad.  

 And speaking (writing?) of Eli, he sounds great too. Blowing through his classes and still working at the sports bar near campus. The preacher's son cutting loose. Ha-ha. Mom told me his father lost his position at that church and has moved away. All Eli would say was his mother and sister are in Birmingham with some of her family and he didn't know where the preacher moved. Eli has come out formally, joining some gay group on campus and is dating this guy who is from Oklahoma. He refers to him as his cowboy. Yeah, the jokes tell themselves. It is strange to be in a conversation that involves Eli and Josh but everything between them is…I don’t know how to say it. But you know. Some of their posts to each other are, shall we say, a bit coarse. I laugh out loud at some of them but dare not reply. Josh jokes I'm scared some guy will see them and hit on me. 

 Josh wants to go up and see Eli and wants me to go with him. A reunion tour he calls it, saying we can meet in Atlanta and drive up together. I'm thinking about going. Eli will be taking one class this summer and working more hours but told us to let him know when and he'd take some time off. If only you were here, because it would complete the gang. Damn, one of those 'missing you' moments.

 I've got a tennis match in fifteen so I need to stop now, but I'll add more tomorrow before mailing this to you.