Apartment #9

-1-

A rumbling awoke me; the rain shower had turned into a thunderstorm. Without opening my eyes I could tell that Tyler was on his back and I had rolled over; my left side was on his left side, and his left leg was between my legs. Opening my eyes, I could see his strong chin; he was breathing slowly, regularly. I looked toward my hand and could see it moving up and down, following the movement of his chest as it rose and fell. I moved it a few centimeters over and circled his nipple. The hairs of his chest brushed against my finger, and the sensation excited me.

The covers had slipped down to our waists, and I scanned down, examining each ridge of his abs and then studying his navel. His was different from mine, and I found that fascinating. The urge to touch it with my finger, to taste it with my tongue, to kiss it with my lips, that urge was a strong one, but I was afraid to stir and awaken him. But I was weak; I always had been, and my fingers found themself circling his belly button.

I tilted my head. Tyler’s penis was exposed as the blanket’s edge met the base of his appendage. His cock pointed toward me; the slit in the head was visible, and only millimeters behind that, his foreskin began. I continued to stare at it. I’d never seen an uncut dick this close, and while I had grabbed him earlier, I hadn’t examined it.

My fingers grazed against the skin covering his corona; it was soft. I touched with a little more pressure, and it moved freely. My own dick began to bone as I pushed the foreskin down. It seemed to pile up just below the head of his penis. I wanted to taste it. How would it be different from the taste of his lips, the skin of his cheek, the nipple on his chest?

I sensed a change in his breathing, and I turned to look at his face. He was looking at me, a smile on his face.

“Sorry,” I whispered, “I should have asked permission before playing with another man’s toy.”

“The only time you don’t have permission is when I’m in uniform and out in public.”

“So, if you’re in uniform and we’re not in public…”

“Then you have a duty to play with my toy.” He chuckled.

A mild flash and a loud thunderous boom filled the room. I pulled my hand back immediately.

“It’s OK.” He kissed my forehead.

I moved down and kissed his penis. It bounced slightly, and I noticed it change ever so slightly in circumference. I slid my mouth over it; it was still flexible, but as I held it against the roof of my mouth with my tongue, it hardened. I’d experience my cock get hard in my hand, but this was a different experience, somehow more exhilarating. I pushed the erection even more forcefully against the roof of my mouth with my tongue before moving the tip of my tongue up and down the shaft.

I heard Tyler moan, and I responded by trying to shove the entire length into my mouth. It didn’t fit, and as it pushed against the entrance to my throat I felt the urge to gag. I back off slightly. As my index finger and thumb circled his scrotum at the base of his dick and pulled his balls down toward his knees, my mouth increased the pressure of my sucking, and I moved my lips up and down his rod. I continued to push him to the roof of my mouth.

I heard Tyler moan more loudly until he hollered, “Oh, fuck!”

At the same moment, my mouth was filled with a liquid the consistency of heavy cream and a slightly salty taste. His cock jerked in my mouth, and more liquid shot into my mouth. I took a large swallow, but he filled my mouth one more time. Then his body relaxed. I continued to hold his penis with my tongue. I began to think that I had just taken a part of him inside me. His dick would slip out, but his cum would stay behind.

As he became flaccid, I let him slip out. I swallowed again, and my hand released his balls. This seemed like more than sex, more than a blowjob. I sat up.

“That was nice,” said Tyler.

“I liked it. I’m not sure how to say this so it makes sense, but I had to do that. Something inside me made me.”

“It does make sense to me,” Tyler agreed. “I understand.”

He did understand. I could tell. And I felt different somehow. “Do you think we should head back? I’m feeling hungry. And it’s my turn to take you to dinner?”

“Your tummy’s not full, huh.” He smiled and bit his lower lip. “Would that make it our second date?” Tyler asked.

“Two dates in one day?” I replied. “Doesn’t that make you a player?”

“I’d never do that to you; you know that, right?”

I nodded my head, “Yeah, Ty, I know that. Bad joke. I apologize.”

“It’s fine.” His demeanor changed.

He said it was fine, but I noticed his face got serious, and his tone was serious. “Let me check on our clothes.”

Had I upset him with a bad joke? Was he upset because I wanted to leave? Shit, I had fucked up again. Dammit. I took a deep breath. ‘Don’t start to cry,’ I told myself. ‘He’ll throw you out the window as he drives by the apartment. He got his rocks off, and he doesn’t need you anymore.’ I glanced out the window. He was coming back in.

“The clothes are still a little damp. I suppose we can still wear them.”

‘Do something,’ I was screaming in my head. “How about we take some towels and sit on them so they don’t ruin your seats. You bring some dry clothes with us. We can change into the dry ones at my place, and I’ll wash and dry the towels while we have dinner.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, but there was no feeling in his voice.

‘Fuck!’ The word echoed in my head. I’d messed up. ‘Let him know you want to come back here with him.’ “I was thinking that we could stop at the store and I could buy some food to grill here tomorrow. Would you be up for that?”

“Sure.” He nodded again and stepped into his underwear.

One-word answers are not good. I slipped into my clothes. Although they were only slightly damp, they felt nasty. Tyler grabbed some fresh towels and stuffed the damp ones from our shower into a white bag labeled ‘laundry,’ and we set out for my apartment.

We drove back in total silence. My hopes of lying on my back and staring into those beautiful eyes while I lost my virginity were dwindling. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he had just told me to get out of the car when we got to my place, but I knew he was too much of a gentleman for that. He parked the car and grabbed the clothes from the floorboards. I took the towels off the seats.

We walked into the apartment, but before going to the bathroom where my washer and dryer were, I turned and looked at him. I took a deep breath; the terror of what he would say made me sick to my stomach. “Tell me what’s wrong. Please. What did I do?”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“You changed when I said I wanted to come back to eat,” I said.

“It wasn’t that, but you said something that scared me,” said Tyler.

“Me? How?”

Tyler’s eyes misted. The big, strong, hunky policeman teared up. “This is silly.”

“What did I do?”

“You called me Ty.”

Confused, I stood there waiting for him to explain.

When I was six, I asked my grandmother to buy me a Ken doll and a GI Joe so that I could play make-believe policeman. She did, and she even made Joe a policeman uniform. When she gave them to me,” he laughed, “I asked her why they weren’t both in uniforms. She told me that Ken was an undercover cop.” He wiped a tear from his cheek.

“She wanted to know what their names were, and I told her they were Ty Higgins and Ken Higgins. Brothers, she said. I told her no, they were married. They’re in love, I said. She hugged me and told me that they might have a lot of difficulties. People might cause them trouble, but remember that love would get them through. No one has ever called me Ty; that was my doll’s name. And when you did, when you called me Ty, all those memories just came flooding back.”

“I didn’t mean to remind you of painful memories. I’m sorry Tyler; I am.” I hugged him.

“No, Ethan, those memories aren’t painful. They’re wonderful; sometimes they remind me of how much I miss her. She was the reason I know what love can really be.”

I nodded my head and took the bag from him. “I’m glad you told me.” I wondered what it must feel like to be loved like that.

“Are you ready to talk to me?” Tyler asked.

I slowly shook my head. I went to the dryer and tossed the towels in. I removed my damp clothes. Tyler followed me and put his arms around me. “It’s OK. Can we rinse off before we put on fresh clothes?”

“Sure.” I started the washer and then turned on the water. “After you,” I said as I bent slightly at the waist and opened my palm in a gesture of ‘you first.”

“I want to push all the heavy stuff out of my brains and think only of how good I felt showing you the camper and the boat. That is if you felt carefree,” said Tyler.

“I did. I tend to overthink and assume the worst, but it did feel good to be with you at your place and on the boat ride.”

Tyler pulled me into the shower and kissed me. “You’re going to make my lips raw with all this kissing.”

“Your lips? Ha. What about my peter? He’s seen more action from you today than he’s seen his entire life!”

“Poor Mr. Dong,” smirked Tyler. “He hasn’t seen nothing yet.”

“That’s a double negative,” I reminded him, and he started to laugh.

-2-

I drove us to my favorite seafood restaurant, “Shelly’s”. I’m not sure when I discovered that I liked crab, snow crab and blue crab, but Shelly’s had a nice atmosphere. The music wasn’t too loud, and the place was clean. I called ahead so that the table in the back at the side would be reserved for me if possible. When we walked in, the owner nodded at me, so we headed toward the table.

Mr. Jack, as I called him, was the father of a co-worker. He knew I had certain idiosyncrasies that he was willing to accommodate. “What will your friend have?” he asked.

I had already discussed the menu with Tyler. “He’ll have a snow crab, too. Let’s have some fried oysters as well as the onion rings.”

“Beer?” asked Mr. Jack.

“What are you having, Ethan?” asked Tyler.

“I always have a Dr. Pepper, but since I’m driving, you have whatever you want.”

“I’ll take a whiskey, straight, and a long-neck, thanks.”

“So, you’re a whiskey guy?”

“That’s right,” he growled into my ear. “I ain’t no fuckin’ pansy faggot drinking pina coladas. I take my dick raw, ass raw, and eat my carrots raw.” He started to laugh. “Yeah,” he said in a regular tone of voice. “I like whiskey in my coke, and sometimes I drink it straight, especially when I’m nervous.” We sat down. “Do you drink?”

“Rum. In my Coke.” Then I lowered my voice. “Do you really fuck raw?”

He looked down at the table and took a deep breath. He whispered back. “I know what they say about gay cops. We get blown and a piece of ass at every traffic stop. When we’re in uniform and walk into a gay bar, guys line up and bend over for us. It’s bull-shit. The truth, for me, anyway, is that I fucked a friend in high school; I realized right away it wasn’t really for me. It might have been better than jerking off, but it was a lot of work, and it was messy. I’ve never done it again, and no one’s ever done me. My ass is virgin. You’ll be the first.”

I was saved by the delivery of the fried oysters. I stuffed one in my mouth. Confusion reigned. Tyler wanted me to top him. No, he was supposed to top me. I’d been preparing myself to let him tonight if he wanted to and for sure tomorrow after eating the freshly grilled steaks I planned to buy. I didn’t know the first thing about fucking someone. If I did it wrong and hurt him, he’d never want me again. If I’d known he wanted this, I could have hired an escort to teach me. Shit. I was going to lose him before I found out whether we were meant to be together. I needed at least a month to figure things out. I wanted to stand up and scream ‘fuck’ at the top of my lungs.

“What’s wrong, Ethan? Are you not interested in me that way?” He threw back the whiskey in one gulp. “I think I need the whole bottle.”

“It’s not like that, Tyler. I just figured that I’d be the one on my back with your gorgeous body moving between my legs, feeling you inside me. Looking into those wonderful eyes and being connected to you.”

A waiter put our crabs on the table. “Let me know if you need anything.”

We both nodded in return.

“I guess we need a mediator,” said Tyler.

“To divide up our common property?”

“No. You silly, wonderful man. To decide who goes first. Do you think I’m going to let a small problem like this--that we both want to bottom--I’m not going to let that ruin things? There’s a reason I want to have you inside me, and maybe the reason you want me inside you is the same one.” He pulled a leg from its cluster and snapped it in half. He dipped it in butter and held it to me. “Bite off half of it?”

I leaned forward and opened my mouth.

“Go ahead. You get half.”

I bit down and half of the crab meat was in my mouth. He pushed the other half into his mouth. “We share our meat.”

I looked down at the crab clusters on our table.

“Oh, shit. How do I know you’re thinking that I want to split every leg between us?” He smiled and chuckled. “That was symbolic, Ethan, of our willingness to share things.”

“OK. I’m not good with symbolism,” I admitted.

“That’s OK. You were willing to share with me, right.”

“Yeah,” I nodded.

“I’ll give you my dick, and you’ll give me yours.”

I smiled. “And I’ll give you my hole, and you’ll give me your hole.”

“That’s right,” said Tyler.

“And I’ll give you anything else you need.” I smiled.

“So, you’re ready to tell me now?”

I tensed up.  My fingers involuntarily balled up and formed fists.  I drew a breath, and tears filled my eyes.  “No,” I squeaked.  “I can’t.  Not yet.”

Will Tyler's need to know push Ethan away, or will it draw the two of them closer?