A reckoning

by Grant

29 Jul 2018 7636 readers Score 8.9 (270 votes) PDF Mobi ePub Txt


 The engine kept up a steady revving drone as Jake drove the tractor down Pine Bluff Road heading back to the barn. The planter was on a truck bed probably already waiting on him to arrive. He bounced over the rough sections of the old two lane and felt the undulation of the tractor rising and falling with the sections settled over the years by the heavy traffic of logging and grain trucks. Keeping the hood aligned dead center of the road he motored along at the top speed of twenty miles an hour. With the dual rear wheels, the tractor was far wider than one lane and it was easier to just run down the middle of the road till he saw oncoming traffic, which was infrequent in this part of the county.

Jake passed the familiar sign for Grove Hill, the small community with the only general store for five miles around and he realized a soda sounded like a good idea for it was after three thirty and he had nothing since lunch. Coming to the only intersection in the community, Pine Bluff crossing Mill Spring Road, he slowed the massive tractor, pulling back on the throttle. Beverley’s sat right at the intersection, so close there was barely enough room in front for the two gas pumps and a vehicle on each side, and along the side of the store there was just enough room to pull off the road and not have a tailgate hanging out too far. As he approached he saw Mrs. Wilson’s old Buick in front and sitting around the side, the rear bed visible, was Hank’s old Dodge truck.

Jake pulled off the road and stopped on the shoulder just before the gravel drive of the store, not wanting to take up too much of the parking lot. He climbed down, stretched his arms up and twisted his torso working out the stiffness from sitting for the last hour. He ambled across the gravel lot, head down watching the ground pass underneath his feet. Near the pumps he looked up seeing his reflection in the storefront. The dirty green cap pulled low in his head, his black hair curling out around it. The plaid shirt with the sleeves ripped off revealing his arms, tanned from days in the sun, bulging with muscle from the hard work. Shirt tucked into jeans, it revealed how low waisted he wore them, for they appeared to hang on his hips. The reflection didn’t show him below the knees, but he wore the tan work boots most of the others wore, scuffed and scratched, red clay staining the sides.

Adjusting his cap, he glanced into the storefront one more time before coming up to the entrance. An old wood door painted red that did nothing to hide the scratches and gouges in its surface. As he reached out for the door he looked over and saw the other truck, the old blue Chevy on the opposite side of Hank and he cursed under his breath. ‘Fucking Bobby Joe McKinsey’ he thought as he opened the door hearing the bell ring. Hank was leaning against the old drink cooler, a low case with sliding doors on top, while he drank a soda and ate salted peanuts. Mr. Grimes sat on a bar stool, over weight and suffering diabetes, where he ran the store from noon to closing every day.

“Hey Jake, how’s your old man” Hank asked as he made his way to the cooler, sliding the left side open knowing the drink he wanted was on that end.

“Did he sell that old tractor that belonged to your granddad?” Mr. Grimes’ added before Jake could respond.

Twisting off the cap, tossing it in the trash, he looked up at the two men. “He’s good and yeah, he sold that old tractor. Some guy over in Ashford County bought it.”

He scanned the room wondering where ‘fucking Bobby Joe McKinsey’ was at, for he was inside the store somewhere. Above the shelving that made up the four small aisles he saw the blue cap moving across the back of the store. Tossing two bills on the counter he glanced toward the back and saw Bobby Joe turn around the end of the shelves and come toward them. He carried two quarts of oil and as he approached, he reached up for a liter bottle of soda.

Jake stepped back and leaned against the drink cooler next to Hank. “How’s ya beans looking?” he asked Hank keeping his eyes on Bobby Joe. Bobby Joe wore a t-shirt that looked as if he had crawled on the ground in it. It hung loose across his lean body and short at the waist, barely covering the top of his jeans. Bobby Joe was tall, six four or five, Jake thought, but wasn’t sure. Hell, he might be six six. All he knew was Bobby Joe was tall and lean. Why he watched the fucker all the way to the counter he wasn’t sure. He hated him. Ever since ninth grade, and that was four years ago, four long years of crossing paths with him all the time. Crossing paths with him like now, in the only store for miles around.

“They look pretty good; need some rain…” Hank was saying when Jake interrupted.

“That shitty Chevrolet about to leave your ass on the side of the road?”

Bobby Joe paid for the soda and oil, picked the bottles up and turned toward Jake. He just stared back, eyes locked on Jake’s, an expression Jake couldn’t read, but he was sure it wasn’t good, whatever Bobby Joe was thinking.

“Now boys, don’t be like that” said Hank as he saw the looks passing between the two boys.

“Talk to him…he started it” Bobby Joe replied as he moved to the door, swung it open ringing the bell, and not looking back. As the door closed, he turned the corner and was gone.

“Jake, what is it with you two?” Mr. Grimes asked giving him a judging look.

“I don’t know. He just gets under my skin” Jake replied then took a long swig, Adam’s apple bobbing up and down with each swallow.

“Well, you should get along. You both live here…”

“You don’t get along with Sam Fisher?” Jake replied cutting Hank off. Mr. Grimes laughed, shaking his head as Hank looked put out.

“He got ya there, Hank. You guys haven’t spoken in twenty years or longer” said Mr. Grimes.

“Well, it ain’t good” Hank replied, stepping toward the counter tossing two bills down along with three quarters. “Ring me up; I need to go.”

“Sure thing, Hank” Mr. Grimes replied still snickering as he rang up the soda and peanuts.

 

With Hank gone, it just the two of them left in the store Jake saw the look Mr. Grimes gave him and knew what it meant. How it started he didn’t want to say, but it happened out front, between the pumps and the front of the store. There were words, then a shove followed by another. Bobby Joe said something else, something about Jake’s hearing, some snide remark and Jake threw the first punch. Mr. Bradley and Shorty pulled them apart, holding the boy’s arms pulled behind their backs. Bobby Joe had a nose bleed and his shirt had the top three buttons popped off revealing his chest. Jake had a busted lip and both elbows scratched up from wrestling on the ground. They were breathing hard and both refused to apologize, Bobby Joe saying he didn’t say what Jake thought he had said and Jake calling him a liar.

“Hank’s right, ya know” Mr. Grimes uttered as he busied himself with some paperwork, not bothering to look Jake’s way.

“Maybe…maybe not” Jake uttered, tossing the empty bottle in the trash and heading for the door, “see ya later.”

For the next five miles to the barn Jake fumed, at times his knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel. Bobby Joe got to him, every time. Alone in the cab, music playing loudly, he thought back to that day, the comment, the way it was stated. It had scared him. He’d been staring at Bobby Joe, looking at the way he had grown tall and his features losing their adolescent softness, becoming more angular, more defined. Strong jaw, the high cheekbones, and faint start of sideburns. Bobby Joe had suddenly appeared looking older, more mature, and he had stared.

Like what you see?

The insinuation had embarrassed him, making him furious. He responded harshly, got into Bobby Joe’s face and everything quickly escalated into the fight.

For two years after he tried to forget that day, the way he had felt and how Bobby Joe saw through him. He told himself it was nothing, just him looking at the changes in Bobby Joe, grown even taller and more mature. He dated Sue, then Elizabeth, followed by Shelley, Beth and Rachel. He had dated each of the first four a few weeks each, but by the time he went out Rachel it was as if she knew. His track record was common knowledge among the girls at their high school and after only one date she refused to go out again. That had been near the end of the eleventh grade. Since that time, he has made no attempt to go out again, telling himself he doesn’t have time, too much work on the farm as his dad and he struggle to enlarge it and make it profitable. He tells himself he has time, plenty of time, in the future.

He drove the tractor to the barn, the doors already open for him, and parked it at the end of the bay leaving room for the truck. Ambling back across the yard toward the house where his dad was sitting on the screen porch waiting, he struggled to push away his thoughts about Bobby Joe. He took a deep breath and refocused his mind on the task that lay before him. The cleaning up and maintenance of the equipment and preparing for the cultivation of the soybeans in a week for the first fields they planted.

 

 

Jake had been half way across the ninety-acre Simpson’s field when the thunderstorm blew up. Looking at his watch he saw it was five o’clock and even if the rain stopped quickly it was too late for the ground to dry out enough for him to resume that day. By the way it rained it would be late afternoon at the earliest before he could start again. Tractor shut down and locked he had drove home in the drizzling rain, the last remnants of the storm before it blew on through. Windows down, his arm getting wet, he let the cooler air swirl in the cab of the truck cooling it. It felt good, this cool air and he unbuttoned his shirt letting the swirling air blow it open feeling it on his chest and stomach.

Back home, he pulled in next to his dad who was just climbing out of his truck.

“You rained out too?” his dad asked.

“Yep, but I should be able to start again tomorrow afternoon.”

“I might can start in the morning for it didn’t rain much at the Burnville fields.”

They walked up to the house, sat in the screen porch pulling off their muddy boots and socks. It was a ritual, the way they always removed their shoes before going in. Jake pulled his cap off tossing it on the small side table and leaned back in the rocking chair looking across the rear yard and how the rain made everything seem greener, the colors more vivid.

“You want something to drink?” his dad asked as he headed inside.

“Nah, I’m good.”

A few minutes later his dad and mom came out, each with a soda. They sat in the swing at the end of the screen porch and rocked slowly back and forth. Jake listened to his parents talk among themselves, the casual banter about what to cook for dinner, or should they go into town.

“What do you want to do?” Jake’s mom asked him.

“I don’t care; up to you.”

His dad stood up heading inside, “well, let’s get cleaned up. We can go to Jason’s. I’ve not had shrimp in a long time.”

“Okay” Jake replied following his dad into the house. His dad swung left into their bedroom off the kitchen while he went to the stair up to his room to shower and change.

 

 

The small restaurant was busy, its parking lot full, mostly trucks and SUVs. Inside waitresses hustled from table to table and at the front two families were waiting to be seated. Jake led his parents into small waiting area along the front wall. His parents sat on the wood bench along the wall while Jake stood just in front. He listened to his parents talk about repainting the living room then discuss whether, or not they could take a small vacation later in the fall. Jake wasn’t paying close attention, his attention drawn to the couple next to him who were arguing over something Sean had done. He assumed Sean was their son by the sound of it. He turned scanning the dining room to see if he recognized anyone. He saw Mr. and Mrs. Henderson in a booth, a couple that lived in their community who had a small farm, mostly cows on pasture. Looking across the back of the restaurant he saw Shelley and Rachel at a table with two guys he didn’t know. Rachel glanced his way then looked away without acknowledgment and it burned inside, a smoldering heat right in the center of his chest. Looking down he rubbed the toe of his shoe against a break in the tile flooring. Even in the place he called home he sometimes felt like a stranger, someone who didn’t belong.

A waitress sat one of the families and he watched them move along the far wall to a booth about midway along the wall. The two young girls slid in on one side while the mother then the father slid in opposite. Jake wondered what it would have been like to have a sibling, someone close to his own age, preferably older, someone who could have told him how things were done, what was expected and how not to end up feeling miserable. Someone who could tell him what was wrong with him. Why he didn’t fit in.

Looking past the family he scanned the last two booths and he felt his heart race with recognition. In the last one looking his way was Bobby Joe. He towered over his parents who sat opposite, and his short blonde hair seemed to glow in the harsh fluorescent lighting. It took a moment before Jake realized Bobby Joe was staring back, eyes locked on him. He stared back, almost afraid to break eye contact as he tried to figure out the expression on Bobby Joe’s face. It was as if he was studying him, looking past his physical exterior, boring into his inner consciousness. It scared him, and he looked away turning quickly back to his parents.

The other family was seated, and another waitress came up to Jake.

“You ready to be seated?”

“Yeah” Jake replied.

They were at a table in the middle of the dining room, and Jake sat with his back to Bobby Joe knowing it was the only way to keep from staring. The waitress took their orders and left to get their drinks.

“I’ll be right back” Jake said to his parents getting up from the table. He went to the Men’s room, located in the far corner, opposite where Bobby Joe sat. For the short walk it took all he had not to look across the room. He wanted to, wanted to look to see if Bobby Joe was watching him.

A boy of about ten was at the urinal so he moved into the stall, locking the door. He hadn’t realized how much he needed to relieve himself till the flow started. It was a relief to feel it, the emptying of his bladder. He heard the urinal flush, water run then the door open. It closed slowly, taking longer than it should. Jake put his cock away, zipped up and came out to find Bobby Joe standing at the lavatory.

They stared at each other, neither moving for a long time, Jake afraid to approach the lavatory and Bobby Joe seemingly willing to wait him out. No one came into the toilet, only the sounds from the kitchen came through the door, it right across the narrow hall. Jake felt trapped as his heart raced in his chest.

“What is your problem?” Bobby Joe asked. His tone wasn’t belligerent, merely inquisitive.

“What?!” Jake exclaimed.

Bobby Joe took a step toward Jake. “Why do you have to act like such an asshole?”

“I don’t know what you mean…”

“I think you do” Bobby Joe interrupted, stepping another step closer. Jake realized their differences in height. Even at his five eleven, Bobby Joe towered over him. It seemed like he was a foot taller. He blocked out the light at the lavatory casting his shadow over Jake.

“Just leave me alone” Jake responded trying to push past him.

Bobby Joe’s right arm shot out blocking his path, then the left hand came to his chest pushing him back against the stall. It wasn’t a rough move, just firm enough to move Jake back and pin him against it. Bobby Joe leaned in close, only inches between their faces. “I see how you look at me.”

It was insinuating, the tone almost mocking, accusing in a way and Jake tried to move away from Bobby Joe, pressed his head against the stall as hard as he could, gaining whatever fraction of an inch he could manage. He felt short of breath, was begging someone to come into the toilet to make Bobby Joe move away.

“Let me…go” Jake uttered, his voice suddenly pleading.

Bobby Joe shook his head, disappointment creasing his features. He angled his head as if the difference would help in understanding Jake. Then he leaned in till his lips pressed against Jake’s. Jake froze, let the kiss linger for a few seconds before panic overtook him and he shoved Bobby Joe back, moved around him to the lavatory and washed his hands. He tried to take his time, pretend Bobby Joe had not gotten to him, but when he reached for a paper towel his hand shook violently.

“Why do you fight it?” Bobby Joe asked as Jake left the toilet letting the door close behind him.

 

 

Jake lay in bed staring up at the ceiling. The nightstand lamp was on, illuminating the room in a warm low glow letting him see the patterns in the ceiling, the faint outlines of past patches and the swirls in the plaster. He was lying flat on his back, arms stretched along each side of his body, hands flat on the bed. He was afraid to move. Bobby Joe had really done it this time. Rattled him to his core. Their encounter in the toilet played over and over in his mind. And when he thought of the kiss, the moment when Bobby Joe’s lips touched his own, he felt it, his cock stir in his boxers.

His stomach growled from hunger, for he had eaten very little of his dinner. He had forked at the fried shrimp, slowly eating about half of them before giving his father the rest. His mom asked him what was wrong, pointing out Bobby Joe as he left the restaurant with his parents.

“Did Bobby Joe say something to you? I saw him go to the bathroom after you” she asked.

“No…we didn’t talk to each other” Jake replied as he thought about the kiss, how it had felt, Bobby Joe’s lips against his own.

It came to him, all the bottled-up emotions he tried so hard to smother. How his fascination with Bobby Joe was more than curiosity. It was a desire he didn’t want to admit. He was a farmer, a man who was supposed to marry a nice girl, raise a family, have a son to carry on the family name and grow old working the land. But everything inside of him said differently. His thoughts about other men, especially Bobby Joe, and how it aroused him. He felt it now, his cock growing erect despite his efforts to will it not to, not to these thoughts. It slipped through the fly of his boxers and the flared head, red, an angry red he thought, pushed outward as he grew longer, more erect. Fists balled up tightly he tried to will it down as it rose up, flexed up and down a few times then at the slit a drop emerged, pooling up larger till it drooled down on his abdomen.

Why did he fight it so, he wondered? He was alone, no one around to see him. No one to know what thoughts drove him. He let the images of Bobby Joe come to him, freely, every time he had seen him changing in P.E., every time they had been at the public pool with classmates, revealing the long lean torso, nipples riding high on each pec and a stomach impossibly flat. He took himself in hand and felt the slickness smear along his shaft. He stroked himself, noisily, hand moving up and down. He was so aroused, so close his cock ached for release.

He felt the buildup, the surge of release. His thoughts shifted to the kiss, Bobby Joe’s lips against his own, and he came, cum hitting him in the face, on the neck then thick ropes along his chest. He stroked himself till he was spent and his cock too sensitive for further stimulation. Then he rolled over and cried till sleep over took him.

 

 

The soybeans were cultivated, and the equipment was back in the barn. Jake had his truck pulled under the shade of a pecan tree, front wheels on ramps, as he changed the oil and filter. The old truck, one that belonged to his dad before trading for new, was beginning to show wear and tear. The oil pan was oily from a small leak and rust was beginning to eat away at the front fender along the bottom edge. If the soybeans did well he planned to trade it, but for now he needed to keep it running.

As he slid out from underneath his dad walked up, dressed in khakis and a blue dress shirt. It was obvious there were plans for the weekend and Jake looked up at his dad smiling waiting to hear what his mother and he had planned.

“Jake, your mother and I are going to drive down to Mobile for the weekend.”

“Yeah, sounds nice. When will you be back?”

“I’m thinking Sunday afternoon…maybe Monday.”

“Okay. Have a good time” Jake replied as he wiped his hands. His dad nodded and walked back toward the house where his mother waited by her car, ready to go.

It had been some time since they had been away and having the house to himself seemed odd at first. Back inside he ambled from the kitchen to the living and back, trying to decide what he was going to do. It was only two o’clock, too early to go into town. He wondered if he should go out tonight, head into town for dinner. But he’d be alone, and that wasn’t appealing. But he didn’t want to cook either. He decided to get cleaned up first, heading up the stair tugging his shirt off as he went.

In the bathroom he looked in the mirror at his appearance. He needed to shave, and his hair had gotten long again. It curled out around his head where he had worn a cap. Running a hand through it he decided he would head out as soon after he was cleaned up and dressed. He would go into town for a haircut then drive over to Brenton to eat dinner. No one would know him there and after dinner he could take in a movie. There was an action flick out he wanted to see, and it would be a perfect way to kill an evening.  

 

 

He arrived at the restaurant that sat by the road in front of the small mall. It was after six when he arrived, and the parking lot was nearly full, with people waiting outside the front door. He made his way inside to put his name on the list when he saw the bar was not too busy.

“Can I just sit at the bar?”

“Sure, but you can’t drink without showing an ID” the hostess replied looking at Jake in a way to let him know she knew he was underage.

“No problem, I’m just eating” he replied.

There was a baseball game on the television in front of him and he found himself watching it as he ate dinner. He didn’t really care for either team, but it occupied his mind, kept him from thinking too much. After paying, he checked his watch seeing he had over an hour to kill before he needed to be at the theater located on the back of the mall. He drove around the mall, parked near the exits of the theater and made his way into the mall. It was busy, but not nearly as busy as he thought it should be for a Friday evening. He ambled along heading right toward the department store on that end. Window shopping along the way he saw the men’s clothes he would never have an opportunity to wear, urban influences made for going out at night. There were stores for colognes and perfumes, novelty shops, and clothing stores he found himself browsing, wandering among the jeans, khakis, sport shirts, polos and t-shirts in various colors.

Glancing at his watch he saw he had forty-five minutes before needing to head to the cinema. Near the far end of the mall he went into another clothing store. This one was nicer, the clothes more formal, meant for work as well as casual wear in the city. Slim fitting shirts in dark muted colors, khakis with straight legs and clean lines, dark slacks that fit tight to the waist and accentuated long legs. He picked up a shirt, a dark steel gray and wondered when he would have a chance to wear such an article of clothing. He held it up letting it fall open showing the tapered shape and v-neck. Movement across the store caught his eye. A tall guy with blonde hair moving along the display on the far wall. He focused his eyes and saw it was Bobby Joe, moving along the display of shirts, one hand raking over the fronts as if he saw them through feel.

Jake felt short of breath, suddenly exposed, and he tossed the shirt down on the table and made his way to the front of the store, moving as casually as he could, keeping one eye on Bobby Joe who was moving toward the back, hopefully doing so till he made his escape. In the mall, Jake went to the opposite side and sat on a bench next to a large planter, one that partial hid him from the store. Leaned forward, elbows on knees, he watched the store, waiting.

Bobby Joe came out with two girls from their high school days, Sara and Cathy, the three of them laughing about something. They turned back toward the center of the mall, and strolled along at a slow pace, stopping at different windows along the way. Jake followed, keeping to the opposite side and back. He watched, keeping the same pace till they were at the food court. Sara broke away and went to a food vendor while Bobby Joe and Cathy stood at the edge of the seating area waiting.

Jake knew they were probably going to the cinema too, probably even the same movie. He considered leaving, just exiting the mall and going home, but then felt the foolishness of it. Instead he decided to ease by them staying on the opposite side of the mall and get to the cinema first, buy his ticket and try to get inside before they got there.

In the theater he moved to the back row and to the center. The darkest place in the theater with the lights up. He slid down in the seat, cap pulled lower on his head and waited, watching each new person enter the theater. He watched them climb the steps and move into a row taking a seat. Some younger boys and girls, around fourteen or fifteen, came in, seven of them in their group and they came all the way up to the last row where the first one sat next to Jake, the rest filling the seats back toward the aisle. At first Jake resented them coming so close but he realized they gave him cover, for anyone glancing up at the last row would just see a bunch of kids and probably avoid the row.

The commercials were playing when Sara, Cathy and Bobby Joe came in. They moved up the steps to three rows below Jake and sat directly in front of him. Bobby Joe’s head was visible over the high back seat and Jake stared at him. Watched the way he turned to Sara and Cathy, laughed when they laughed, and at times the three of them leaning in close whispering so others could not hear. When the previews began, the lights dimmed till the theater was dark, Jake sat up ready for the movie to begin.

When the movie ended, the credits rolling across the screen Jake leaned up looking down at Bobby Joe. He watched them stand up and make their way over to the aisle and down the steps. He waited till they had turned the corner out of sight before getting up to leave. He hadn’t intended to do it, told himself to move away from them and leave, but he followed them out, across the sidewalk and into the parking lot. They moved across two rows and then headed out and Jake followed them staying one row over.

Sara and Cathy gave Bobby Joe a hug and when a small sports car’s light flashed, Jake knew the girls rode separately from Bobby Joe. He watched them climb into the car, Bobby Joe closing Sara’s door and tapping the top lightly before he made his way to the next row. Jake cut through the cars, waiting to cross the drive aisle after the girls drove away, then took off to catch up with Bobby Joe. At the next aisle he saw other people heading toward cars, couples, groups of guys or girls, and families with children in tow, but no Bobby Joe. He went down the drive aisle wondering how he could have missed him.

Walking slowly, looking left and right down between cars and over to the adjacent aisles, he searched for Bobby Joe. He was stumped how someone so tall could be impossible to find. He was half way down the aisle, his pace increasing, wondering if he should give up and head to his truck when he heard something behind him, some movement, a step on the asphalt. He turned and saw Bobby Joe standing less than ten feet away.

“Looking for me?” Bobby Joe asked, his tone taunting.

“What?!...No…no” he replied and turned to walk away.

“Bullshit; don’t lie to me Jake Henderson. Lie to yourself if you have to, but not to me.”

Jake spun back around, his fear making him angry, “I’m not…”

“Yes, you are” Bobby Joe interrupted, his tone softened. His entire body relaxed as he took a deep breath. “Jake…” hesitating to continue, looking across the parking lot then back at Jake, “…you’re making yourself miserable. You have to admit it to yourself, and others.”

“Shut up…just shut the fuck up” Jake spat, his heart racing as his thoughts became all mixed up; what to say, how to say it, what needed to be said.

“Jake” Bobby Joe uttered as he watched Jake turn away and walk quickly away, stumbling once as he cut through parked cars.

 

 

The house was quiet except for the soft sobs coming from Jake’s room. He lay on his bed, fully dressed on top of the bedspread, staring up at the dark ceiling. The encounter with Bobby Joe came at him, at first in one long slow-motion series, then in fragments, the accusation repeating over and over. He felt trapped. Trapped in his own body, his own thoughts, thoughts he tried to suppress. His longings that aroused him, made him feel different. He looked at the other guys his age, those still in the community. Many married already, or going steady, with plans for marriage and a family. It was the proper way everyone said, what was expected. Wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt he wondered how long he could go on not doing what was expected. But he also wondered about not doing what he desired. He thought of Jim Haywood, the old bachelor over in Clayton, and how you’d see the old guy walking along the shoulder of the road, hunched over, clothes filthy, as he made his way to the convenience store two miles away. Jake wondered if he’d end up an old bachelor, alone, barely living out his days like old Jim. It scared him to think it, nearly as much as it scared him to admit the truth.

 

 

Jake woke late Saturday morning still in his clothes and twisted up in the bedspread. He felt like he had been wrestling with someone the way his legs and arms ached. He stretched out, pushing against the headboard, then rolled up in a sitting position. Rubbing his eyes, he felt like he was waking from death rather than sleep. He stood and began to strip, tossing each article into a pile on the floor. He took a shower then dressed in clean clothes, a pair of khaki shorts and a black tank top.

He cooked a couple of eggs then toasted the last two pieces of bread in the iron skillet for breakfast. He needed to mow the lawn and wanted to clean up his truck but using the last of the bread put going to the grocery store at the top of his list. He checked the refrigerator and added mayo and sandwich meat to his list. He checked the pantry and added chips to his list.

Grabbing his keys and wallet, he locked the door and headed out. He drove slowly across the countryside, windows down letting the warm morning air swirl around inside the cab. It felt good against his bare arms and shoulders, and the way it made his tank top flutter against his stomach.

 The old grocery store was only one of two in town and its parking lot was half full. He pulled into a space before coming into the full section and walked to the store. He grabbed a shopping cart in lieu of a small basket. He wanted to push the cart, to feel the experience of shopping for food like everyone else, this most normal of routines. He pushed through the produce section picking up strawberries, then over to the first aisle to get the mayo. He ambled down the aisle, turned and went down the next even though he needed nothing on it. Circling around the end and into the next aisle he passed the sugar, flour, baking items and oils. He scanned the shelves as if he was looking for something as he tried not to think about Bobby Joe.

At the end of the aisle he was at the section of sandwich meats along the back wall and he browsed the different cuts, the different packaging sizes comparing prices he didn’t really care about. In the end he tossed the brand his mom always bought into the cart. Glancing at his list he reminded himself chips and bread were left. Looking up, he saw chips were only two aisles over and bread three down from them. He pushed across the back aisle toward chips, leaned over with his forearms resting on the handle.

He was about to turn down the aisle when he saw Bobby Joe cross the back aisle heading into the small corridor where the toilets were located. He froze as he stared down the aisle not seeing the woman with two children turn around the end of frozen foods, or the older couple looking at different pork roasts just to his right. He stared ahead seeing nothing of the current happenings; he only saw Bobby Joe crossing the aisle.

Cart pushed to the side, Jake walked to the corridor, standing to the side as a stock boy came out of the double doors in the end of it pulling a pallet. As the stock boy passed he stared at the Men’s room door, watching it for movement, some indication that Bobby Joe was inside. He hesitated for a moment then moved to it.

The door squeaked open and he found Bobby Joe at the lavatory, soapy hands hovering over the bowl as he stared in the mirror back at him. Jake froze, just stood staring. Bobby Joe rinsed his hands, turned to the hand dryer and held his wet hands underneath as he made no comment toward Jake. The noise of the dryer filled the room as Jake watched Bobby Joe rub his hands together underneath the warm air.

The room seemed to shrink, everything wrong somehow, as his heart hammered away in his chest. He watched Bobby Joe turn toward him, take a step closer, only a couple of feet between them staring back. He felt those feelings rise up, become almost unbearable. He began to breath hard as he looked at Bobby Joe, really looked at him. He didn’t see Bobby Joe looking back at him, instead he saw the blue irises.

It seemed automatic, some robotic reaction, almost a reflex to some hidden stimulation. Jake grabbed Bobby Joe, pushed him against the wall, his forearm pressed across Bobby Joe’s upper chest holding him in place. Bobby Joe made no move to fight back. He merely stared back. Jake held him in place, moving closer, the distance between their faces only inches apart. He could smell Bobby Joe’s cologne, some spicy fragrance that was appealing. Then he leaned forward and kissed Bobby Joe, pressed his lips roughly against Bobby Joe’s lips holding the contact for a few seconds. Then he jerked away, stepped back staring at Bobby Joe as if he had shocked him or cast some magic spell on him. Bobby Joe went to speak, hand raising up and out toward him, but he grabbed the door, swung it open and raced out.

Back in the store, confused with emotion, feelings he had constantly fought to suppress, he went to his cart, grabbed it roughly by the front and pulled it down the aisle with chips. Bobby Joe came up beside him, shadowing him as he moved down the aisle, grabbing the first bag of potato chips he saw. He turned at the end, pulling the cart along till he came to the aisle with bread. Bobby Joe stayed with him, step for step. He grabbed up a loaf of bread of the brand his mom always purchased, gave the date a cursory look and tossed it in the cart. He was going to wheel around and head to the registers, but Bobby Joe grabbed the cart, looking up and down the aisle making sure they were alone.

“Goddamn it, Jake, look at me.”

Jake looked up at Bobby Joe, his face frozen in fear.

“It’s okay” said Bobby Joe.

Jake tried to pull away, but Bobby Joe held tight to the cart. Jake let it go and started to walk around Bobby Joe, who grabbed him by the arm.

“Okay, okay, okay” Bobby Joe repeated, as if to a child trying to calm them down, as he pushed the cart over to Jake.

Jake walked away, dragging the cart along behind him. He moved past the register where a classmate was working and entered one with a woman he didn’t know.

 

 

The bags tossed over on the passenger side, he got in and started the truck. He sat for a moment, fighting his feelings, angry with Bobby Joe, and himself. He hammered his fist against the steering wheel a few times then sat back trying to breathe normally. Embarrassed, he looked around to see if anyone had noticed. A woman was loading groceries in her trunk and a man was pushing a cart into a corral, but no one was looking his way.

He drove home letting what had happened play over and over in his mind till he began to consider what Bobby Joe had been saying, really consider it, think what it would mean. He eased along the old two-lane road, reached over and turned up the radio to an old rock song from the late 60’s. It let the song fill the cab, distract him from his thoughts, tapping his right hand on top of the steering to its beat.

Lost in his own world, music blaring, he didn’t notice the old blue Chevy in his rear-view mirror.

  

Parked in his spot, he grabbed his bag of grocery items and headed to the screen porch. He heard the distinct sound of a vehicle slowing, then the crunch of tires on gravel as it approached from the front. He stopped on the screen porch, hand on the door knob and waited, watched for the approaching vehicle. The blue Chevy swung around the drive and pulled in close to the screen porch.

“Fuck” Jake uttered as he went inside tossing the bag down on the island in the kitchen, then going back to the door. He stood in the open frame watching as Bobby Joe came up the short walk, climbed the steps and entered the screen porch, stopping just inside the screen door and staring back.

“Why are you here?” Jake asked.

“You know why.”

“No…I don’t.”

“Come on Jake, don’t. Let’s go inside and talk.”

Jake closed the door and walked past Bobby Joe, swinging the screen door open then letting it slam shut.

“Go home” Jake exclaimed as he walked toward the barn.

Bobby Joe followed, kept pace with Jake’s fast walk, each step almost a stomping down on the ground. The two of them walked across the drive, past the blue Chevy and Jake’s old Ford. They continued across the back yard, past the clothes line, the brick bar-b-cue grill that hadn’t been used in years, and the line of daylilies in full bloom. Jake didn’t turn around, said nothing else to Bobby Joe as he walked toward the barn. He was fighting his emotions, the feelings he had bottled up for so long he didn’t know if he could any longer. He fought the urge to turn back to Bobby Joe, to hear what he had to say. He fought the urge to approach him, to kiss him on the lips and tell him how he really felt. How he fought with him in the past to keep a barrier between them. 

He walked up to the old faded door of the barn, its white paint beginning to peel along the bottom from the planks. He stood in front of it staring ahead comprehending nothing he saw. His vision grew blurry and each breath became difficult. He fell to his knees, hands flat on the ground as he pressed his forehead to the rough wood door and cried.

Bobby Joe stood behind him for a minute, let him cry it out then knelt behind him. He felt Bobby Joe move up close then arms encircling him hugging their bodies together and he relaxed in the embrace leaning back against Bobby Joe.

“It’s okay” Bobby Joe whispered as he rocked the two them, a gentle rocking motion like his mother use to do when he was a child.

 

 

Jake opened his eyes realizing it was late in the day, the sun casting its light through the blinds all the way across the room. He’d been asleep for hours. He felt Bobby Joe at his back, arm draped over his side holding him. They lay on his bed fully dressed, even their boots were still on. He didn’t move, afraid to disturb the peaceful silence, the stillness of the room. It seemed like a dream, the events of earlier, Bobby Joe leading him back inside, getting him a glass of water, then leading him up the stair to his room. He remembered Bobby Joe talking, the words he didn’t comprehend, but the tone, reassuring and comforting, he did comprehend. There was the wash cloth wiping his face, then each hand, rubbing the dirt from the palms. Then Bobby Joe on his knees in front of him, trying to engage him, saying something he didn’t remember, then being guided down on the bed, and how it rocked with Bobby Joe climbing down next to him, holding him, the embrace comforting. He had laid still a long time feeling the warmth real and perceived of Bobby Joe lying against him, arm wrapped around his torso, hand interlocked with his left hand. How long before he had fallen asleep he didn’t know.

Glancing over to the nightstand Jake saw it was five o’clock. He shifted position, felt his right leg slip between Bobby Joe’s.

“You awake?” Bobby Joe whispered.

“Yeah.”

Jake laid still for some time as he wondered what to do. Should he get up and pretend nothing had happened or should he try to talk to Bobby Joe, bring some sort of closure to the whole issue. The option was there, waiting on him to act.

He turned over on his back letting Bobby Joe’s arm remain draped over his chest. He glanced at him then looked away, eyes darting from one point to the next, not really looking at anything as he bought time trying to think of what to do. He looked back up at Bobby Joe who was now propped up on one elbow looking back down at him. Bobby Joe was really attractive he thought as he looked at the line of jaw with the dark blonde beard coming in sporadically from hair line to chin, the curvature of the nose, and the high cheekbones below the vivid blue eyes. And the blonde hair messed up, sticking out and falling down over his forehead.

Bobby Joe was too close, right in front of him. He couldn’t help it, didn’t know what else to do. He leaned up, closed the distance between them by half as he started to kiss him, but he stopped. Would Bobby Joe want him to do it? Was it too soon? He hesitated, doubt creeping back into his mind. Bobby Joe sensed his hesitation, saw the doubt in his face and leaned down till their lips touched.

Reaching up taking Bobby Joe by the back of the neck, Jake fell back pulling him down too keeping their contact. Kissing, open mouth, their passions ramping up. Bobby Joe moved on top of him and he liked the weight on his body, the feel of Bobby Joe moving on him. He grabbed him by the ass cheeks and pulled their hips tight together feeling his cock respond, flexing in his jeans, stretching out and growing erect.

Wrapping his arms around Bobby Joe he rolled him over till he was on top. He sat up, looked down breathing hard. Bobby Joe looked worried, probably afraid he was going to stop what they were doing. He tugged the tank top off tossing it on the floor then began to undo the buttons on Bobby Joe’s shirt. Frantically trying to get each one free as Bobby Joe began to undo his jeans bouncing him up and down in the process. They were clumsy, laughing at the way they bumped heads, or tried to undo the same button, or the way Bobby Joe nearly bounced him off the bed trying to get his jeans undone and pushed down.

Jake rolled to the side and worked his khaki shorts off as Bobby Joe worked each foot free from his jeans. Jake wore boxers and Bobby Joe boxer briefs, and both were showing, their hard cocks tenting obscenely the front of each. Jake reached out and felt Bobby Joe’s cock, the way it filled his hand and flexed in his grasp. He felt Bobby Joe manipulating his own cock, fingers tracing its shape, digging through the fly touching it, skin on bare skin, making him shudder and moan. They toyed with each other, kissing, hands roaming over bare chests, stomachs, and over cocks, Jake’s sticking straight out of his fly.

Bobby Joe shifted to the foot of the bed and roughly tugged the boxers down Jake’s legs. He tossed them on the floor, rose up on his knees and worked his boxer briefs off, working each foot free, then tossing them on the floor too. Jake lay still staring up at Bobby Joe, admiring the body before him, wanting him, this person who pushed him pass his own fears and doubts. He reached up beckoning Bobby Joe to lay on him.

Bobby Joe moved into his arms, eased down on top, their cocks pressed together. Jake spread his legs, wrapping one foot over a leg letting it rest between them. He felt the way Bobby Joe undulating on top, grinding down with his hips and Jake pushed upward encouraging it. He felt the kisses along his jaw, down his neck and up to his ear. Lips took the earlobe, tugged on it, then he felt the rake of tongue following it curvature. He shivered, arched his back upward and moaned loudly.

“Can I put it inside you?” Bobby Joe whispered in his ear.

Jake thought of all the times he fantasized about it, the images he created in his mind when masturbating, images he had tried to suppress. Now he wanted it, more than anything. He wanted to feel Bobby Joe inside of him, feel the interlocking of their bodies, the push into his depths.

“Yes…fuck me…please….” Jake stammered, breathing hard, as he rubbed down Bobby Joe’s back and over each ass cheek. He felt them flex in his hands with their up and down movement, as Bobby Joe’s cock slide down between his thighs raking along that area between his sac and opening.

Bobby Joe’s right hand moved between them as the left held him by the chin. Bobby Joe kissed him with renewed passion as he felt the other hand slip between his thighs and rub along his ass. The fingers raked over his opening, rubbed it till he spread his legs further part and was moaning into Bobby Joe’s mouth. One finger pressed against his tightness till it breached it, pushed inward slowly, stretching him open. Soon a second finger, then a third and Jake felt himself loosen to them, take them all the way inside his hole. He worked his hips trying to get them deeper than was possible, even with Bobby Joe’s long fingers.

The fingers pulled out, replaced by Bobby Joe’s cock, the wet head rubbing over his opening, then pushing against it. It penetrated him, stretched him open again, and slowly sank into his hole, inch by inch, till Bobby Joe was all the way inside of him. He felt the fullness of the penetration, the way it bored into his being, and he wanted it, wanted to feel it move, to piston through his tight opening.

“Fuck me…fuck me…please” Jake begged as Bobby Joe began to work his hips, to pull upward then push back in. The feel of the thick shaft sliding through his opening, the way it bore into his depths, over and over and over, increasing his own arousal. His cock felt trapped between them, painfully hard, sensitive to the movements of Bobby Joe’s body. And he pushed upward making it worse.

Bobby Joe’s pace increased, the push inward happening harder, faster, the smack of flesh against flesh echoing in the room. Reaching above his head, Jake held tight to the headboard as he pushed upward to meet each push inward. He wrapped his legs around Bobby Joe’s waist, turning his ass upward and spread open further for Bobby Joe. He rocked with each thrust inward as Bobby Joe’s abdomen hit his ass burying cock all the way in his hole. It seemed to reach to the center of his being.

“Fuck…fuck…oh…fuck…” Jake stammered as he took every push inward as Bobby Joe moved easily through his stretched opening.

Every touch between their bodies was electric, the rub of flesh against flesh, the way his nipples felt every shift or movement of Bobby Joe on top and how their undulations, the movements of their fuck pressed down and stroked his cock. He couldn’t take it, his body suddenly tight with need, as his release coursed through him till he was ejaculating between their bodies. Bobby Joe seemed to sense his release and hammered at his hole, drove into him roughly. Raising up on his hands, hips jerking with every short inward push, Bobby Joe cried out.

“I’m coming…fuck…take it…” Bobby Joe stammered as he shoved inward with each release, then he slowed, hips grinding inward slowly as he pushed his still hard cock through his load inside of Jake.

Jake felt his own wet slick cock rubbing against their bodies. He was still hard, and he begged Bobby Joe to keep fucking, to keep going…he wanted more. Bobby Joe slowly increased his pace, worked his wet cock inside Jake’s slick hole till cum trickled out. He pushed inward slowly, feeling every inch of his shaft milked by Jake opening. He was sweating, breathing hard, his body moving with primitive need.

Jake wanted it faster, wanted to feel a physicality to their fuck and he bear hugged Bobby Joe and rolled him over on his back as he sat astride his hips, cock still buried in his ass. He moved up and down, slowly at first savoring the feel of it, Bobby Joe’s cock sliding through his opening and the fullness of full penetration. But he wanted more, felt an urgency for this fuck, and he increased his pace till the bed rocked with his movements. He rode Bobby Joe, moved fluidly up and down till he was sweating, his breathing ragged and his muscles ached with his exertion.

“Goddamn…fuck…” Jake uttered as he felt Bobby Joe take him in hand stroking in rhythm to their fuck. His cock moved slickly through Bobby Joe’s grasp and with every downward move he rocked his hips thrusting them forward pushing his cock through the tight fist stroking him.

Eyes closed, Jake only sensed their contact, the way Bobby Joe manipulated him, the deep penetration and the stroking of his cock. He felt the trickle of sweat as rivulets ran down his face and chest. He felt Bobby Joe’s other hand rub his chest, rake downward over his heaving stomach and down one thigh where it grasped the straining muscle.

“Come on, Jake…come for me…come…” Bobby Joe whispered, his voice barely registering with Jake as he rocked beneath him.

Bobby Joe wanted to cum, felt his arousal increase, his cock grew thicker, more sensitive and he stroked Jake faster. It spurred Jake to fuck faster, to move with abandon. The room echoed with the sound of their bodies coming together and the squeaking of the bed with the stress of it. Jake began to shiver and jerk, then his cock flexed in the tight grasp stroking it and shot cum in thick ropes across Bobby Joe’s face and chest. The smell of it, the wet slickness of it on his skin pushed Bobby Joe over the edge and he grasped both thighs shoving upward as he once again filled Jake’s hole.

Jake collapsed on top of Bobby Joe, heaving for breath, the contact hot and slick. They lay still, neither able to speak for a long time. Minutes passed before either moved, Jake sitting up by Bobby Joe.

“I need a shower” Jake uttered as he wiped cum and sweat down his chest.

“You and me both” Bobby Joe replied.

 

 

The water ran cool as they took turns under the spray. They ran hands over the other’s body, gently, as if to memorize every curve and shape. Fingers traced hard nipples, ran down sternums till they circled navels making them giggle and laugh. Fingers combed through the blonde and black hair, traced along its edge. Fingers traced lips before they pressed together in another kiss. Fingers combed through pubic hair, the thick dark hair above Jake’s cock and the sparse dirty blonde hair above Bobby Joe’s, then down flaccid cocks, tugging them playfully, then seriously as Jake pushed Bobby Joe against the wall kissing him. Jake rubbed one of Bobby Joe’s thighs, got him to lift it up so he could slip his hand underneath it. He brought it up till the leg could wrap around his waist as he pushed against the tightness of Bobby Joe’s opening.

Bobby Joe held his ass cheeks, pulled him forward till he penetrated. His cock squeezed through the tight opening, every inch milked by it, as he sank deeper and deeper into Bobby Joe’s body.

“Fuck me…fuck me, Jake” Bobby Joe uttered, his lips moving against Jake’s as he begged for this fuck.

Jake moved inside of Bobby Joe, felt the heat envelop his cock as the tight opening milked his shaft. He moved slowly at first, working his cock inward and out as Bobby Joe clung to him, begging him to fuck faster, to fuck harder.

Jake moved back and spun Bobby Joe around, bent him over till his ass spread open and he entered him again, sank his cock all the way into his depths. He held Bobby Joe by the waist and drove his cock inward with urgency. He fucked him, fucked with all his strength. Leaning over Bobby Joe’s back he reached around and took him in hand, stroked his hard cock as he fucked him, pushing in all the way every time.

Jake came first, so sensitive to every touch, his need for release fresh, and he shoved inward and came. He shoved forward with every ejaculation rocking Bobby Joe with his roughness till he was spent and his cock too sensitive for anymore stimulation. He pulled free and helped Bobby Joe to turn around kissing him as he ran one hand down the long torso till he was holding the hard cock angled outward. He moved to his knees and held it up, looked at it up close, stared at the way the head flared out, the reddish tone of the it, then he moved to it, opened his mouth and took it, letting it slide over his tongue and push to the back of his throat. He moved on Bobby Joe, head rocking back and forth till hands held his head. Bobby Joe fucked his mouth, pumped it through his lips and across his tongue till he felt it swell thicker, felt the flared head fill his mouth, then fill it again with cum. He swallowed each ejaculation, then licked the head once Bobby Joe was spent.

They were spent, exhausted from their exertions. They slowly bathed the other, soapy hands sliding over wet skin, caressing it, rubbing it clean. Jake turned off the water and Bobby Joe slide the shower curtain to one side reaching out for one of the towels.

“I’m starving. You want to go into town for something to eat?” Jake asked suddenly aware of not eating lunch, of hunger pains made worse by their exertions.

“I bet since you didn’t have lunch. But let’s swing by my house so I can change.”

 

 

The night was still warm, and the sound of crickets broke the silence. They sat on the screen porch, Jake in a rocking chair and Bobby Joe in the swing, one foot on the floor pushing himself back and forth slowly. They joked about how others in the restaurant stared at them, bitter enemies eating together, and Bobby Joe talked about coming out to his parents three years ago. They had been shocked, upset to the point of not speaking to him for a couple of days. He had threatened to leave, going so far as to take out his luggage at which point his mother cracked, no longer able to continue the silent treatment.

Jake admitted to his struggles and fears, the big one still hanging over him; the way his parents would respond if he told them. Their conversations went from serious to joking around to silence, the two of them sitting in the dark, the only light coming from the kitchen window. They heard an owl off in the distance then saw a neighbor’s dog run through the yard.

Jake leaned back and stared upward. “Will you stay tonight?”

Still rocking back and forth Bobby Joe didn’t turn to answer, “Yes.”

 

They had said they were too tired, too spent to mess around again right away, but as they stripped for bed there was a playfulness to the way they messed with each other. The light slap to a stomach, the pinch of a nipple and the tug on boxers as Bobby Joe told Jake to take them off. They eased down on the bed with their naked bodies just touching as they kissed. Bobby Joe rubbed Jake over the chest, downward across his stomach till he could grasp Jake’s growing erection. He held it up and raked his thumb over the head making Jake squirm and work his hips trying to pull away.

“Stop…stop…damn Bobby Joe, stop” Jake pleaded as Bobby Joe manipulated his cock making it grow fully erect. When the hand stroked downward Jake moaned and pushed back up through the tight grip. “Fucking bastard” Jake uttered as he moved to Bobby Joe, kissing him as he pumped his hips.

Bobby Joe moved against Jake, the full length of his body undulating against him, His cock grew erect and rubbed over Jake’s thigh leaving a wet trail. He held Jake by the chin kissing him with greater passion. Jake rolled on his side, back to Bobby Joe working his ass against Bobby Joe’s cock, feeling it rub over each cheek then down between them. He raised his leg, spreading his ass open to Bobby Joe, letting him rub over his opening.

Bobby Joe pumped his hips till Jake’s hole was wet then he took the raised leg, pulled it up twisting Jake’s lower torso as he put his cock to the wet opening pressing against it. He pushed with his hips breaching the tightness making Jake cry out. He continued to push, slowly, inch after inch squeezing through the tight opening. He felt the way it milked his shaft as he pushed into the soft warmth of Jake’s body. On his side facing Jake he pumped his hips, slowly at first, driving inward all the way and pulling back till he nearly slipped free. He fucked till his arousal overtook him, drove him to fuck faster. He pushed Jake over on his stomach moving on top. His legs straddled Jake’s thighs as he leaned forward on his hands. He raised his hips up, all the way, his cock slipping free for just an instance before he drove it back in, all the way till his hips smacked against Jake’s ass. Over and over, he worked his hips upward and down, fucking Jake’s ass, sinking in as far as he could go. Jake moaned and grunted. And Jake pushed up to take him time and time again. The bed began to squeak, the rhythm familiar, so basic in its primitive pace as Bobby Joe fucked Jake, fucked him harder and harder.

“Oh…Bobby…Joe…fuck me…fuck me harder…” Jake pleaded as he pushed up with his hips and took it, every thrust inward.

Bobby Joe came, pushing inward with each ejaculation till he was spent and he piston his cock it in its own load. Then he rolled Jake over, kissed him on the mouth, then worked his way down, lips dragging over flesh, circling a nipple then nipping it, tugging on the hard nub till Jake was pushing him off. He kissed his way downward, over the heaving stomach, down through the dark bush and along the hard cock till he was licking the sweetness from the head. Jake bucked up, fought to hold still as he slipped his lips over the head and descended downward till the head pushed at this throat.

Bobby Joe worked his mouth up and down the shaft as he held Jake’s hands pinned down on the bed. He felt the tension in Jake, the way he heaved for breath and tried to push upward almost gagging him. He kept up his ministrations till he felt Jake swell thicker, the head flare out wider then the attempt to push upward into his mouth. Then he felt the cum fill his mouth.

 

 

The light was dim through the window, too dim for the time of day, then they heard the low rumble of thunder off in the distance, the wind picked up blowing small sticks and debris against the window, then the rain, at first large drops hitting the window hard. After a few minutes the storm settled into a slow rain as the winds died down. Jake opened the blinds and pulled them up, so they could lay in bed and watch the rain.

They laid in bed most of the morning, till after eleven, Jake resting his head on Bobby Joe’s chest listening to his heart beat as fingers twirled in his hair. Bobby Joe held Jake, felt the way Jake spooned up against his chest, so warm against his own skin. They kissed lightly, lazily, and asked personal questions they would not have asked any other time. What did the want in the future? Could they live with another guy and live here, farming with their father? Could they deal with the community’s judgements and ostracizing? Could they kiss a guy in the middle of town? And they would snigger at the suggestion, a nervous laugh that said they were not sure, but they would consider it.

They ate sandwiches on the screen porch, walked the property in the light drizzle, following the perimeter lane around to the back where Jake’s family owned thirty acres in woods, the land too sandy for farming with a gully only a short distance within trees. The went down to the gully, horsed around till wrestling on the ground at the bottom of the gully. Jake tore the buttons from Bobby Joe’s shirt who in turn ripped the t-shirt he wore till it barely hung form one shoulder. They tugged each other’s clothes off and rolled across the ground. They ended with Jake on his hands and knees taking Bobby Joe’s fuck till he came too, spewing his load across the muddy ground.

They walked back to the house naked, their bodies smeared with mud, carrying their dirty clothes. The rest of the day they hung out on the screen porch, lazily swinging together, or inside watching a movie till they were in the kitchen where Bobby Joe prepared dinner while Jake watched. And they ended the day as before, in bed, enjoying the comfort and pleasures of the other till late into the night.

It was late Monday before they stirred, made breakfast and got dressed. Jake needed to brush hog the perimeter lane and around the edge of the fields up to the back of the barn. Bobby Joe rode in the cab with him, the two sitting tightly together as Jake maneuvered around the lane and fields. Jake drove slowly, taking his time and it was late afternoon before they finished.

They cleaned up and went into town for a burger, then wandered around the department store out near the interstate where they saw several familiar faces, each one giving them a questioning look. It was late in the day, the sun almost at the horizon when they returned to Jake’s place. They were on the screen porch having a drink when Jake’s parents drove up. They helped them bring their suit cases inside, carrying them into the master bedroom laying each on the bed. Jake saw the looks his parents gave Bobby Joe, the questioning expressions wondering what had changed since they left on Friday. Once everything was inside they settled back on the screen porch and watched the sky turn orange, then red and finally a blue violet before turning dark.

“Mom…dad there is something we need to talk about” said Jake, leaning forward looking at each of them in turn.

“I should go” said Bobby Joe as he began to stand up.

“No, please, stay” Jake replied, his look imploring, “I need you here.”

Bobby Joe nodded sitting back down next to Jake. Jake’s parents looked worried wondering what could be so serious. Jake took a deep breath, looked at the floor then up at his dad then mom.

“Dad…mom, I’m…”

by Grant

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