A Private Brotherhood Worth Fighting For

Phil

I was shaking. My heart pounded. Nausea took over me. I was still in the cabin after Paul had escaped for what I assumed was to get help. I cast my eyes at Dad who was knocked out on the floor, still naked. Had I killed him? No, he was breathing, and I could've sworn there was a pulse. A pool of blood had formed under his head after I'd bashed it against the door.

What had I done?

I kneeled beside Dad and checked his wrist again, felt around his neck, and pressed my ear against his chest. He was alive. What a relief. My lips mumbled the longer I stared at him. Why? Why had it come to this? I'd been so confused when he'd pounded my ass for his pleasure. A big part of me hated him for doing that to me. But why had there been a tiny bit of pleasure on my part? Why had a small part of me wanted more? I'd cried during the pounding because I hadn't wanted to accept the reality.

That my own father had used me for his sick needs.

I'd cried from both the pain and a strange hunger for Dad, to be close to him. He was my father, but what he'd done was wrong. I couldn't erase this confusion from my mind. I'd wanted a better relationship with him. I'd wanted us to be a happy family. But he'd never let it happen. He'd been consumed by the overpowering lust for his own sons. In some ways, I wanted to disown him for how he was and what he'd done. In other ways, I still felt some kind of love for him.

Why, though?

Dad grunted after just waking up. He remained in place, and his blue eyes gradually opened.

My heart sank with fear that something bad could happen, that he could seek revenge and try to fight with me again. I tensed up, preparing myself to fight if need be.

But he just stared at the ceiling, and something was off. He seemed…disoriented? "Where am I?"

Huh?

Dad's eyes found mine, and he wrinkled his forehead. He squinted and looked as if he were trying to focus. What was going on? That face. He seemed weird. "Who are you?"

My eyes widened. What? Was he serious?

He grunted with a look of discomfort. He breathed a bit harder for a moment. He grunted some more. "My head…ow. What…happened? Why am I here?"

What exactly was going on? Was he faking it, or had he lost his mind? "Dad, it's me. Phil."

His look of genuine perplexity terrified me. Had I really caused this? Had I done damage? I had to process all of this.

I took his hand in mind. "It's me, your son."

"I…" His eyebrows furrowed, and he paused.

"Dad, do you remember anything?" In some ways, I prayed he didn't. In a town where almost everyone was bigoted, they could likely side with him if they found out about me. They'd never believe he was capable of doing the things he'd done.

"Why am I naked? Why are you naked too?"

Oh, shit. If he really didn't remember a thing, how could I explain this?

"Did you take advantage of me?"

My heart rate sped up. "Dad, no, it's not what you think!"

He tried getting up. He struggled but then managed to slowly lift himself upright. He sat there for a while—a long while—looking around the cabin with a genuinely dumbfounded expression. Then, he looked at me. His eyes watered. "Phil…"

He remembered! I swallowed and gave his hand a little squeeze. "Dad…"

"I hurt you real bad, didn't I?" Wow. The first time he showed an ounce of emotion and remorse, his tone weak as if he felt defeated. This wasn't like him at all, yet it was suddenly the version of him I'd longed to see.

"Dad, do you remember what happened?"

After a moment, a tear rolled down his cheek. It was the first time I saw him cry. He reluctantly nodded, now unable to look me in the eye. "I thought I could fight my own demons."

It was also the first time he admitted wrong. If only he could've had the ability to do this before he'd done what he'd done.

"My lust for you and Paul," he added. "I wanted to be more than a father to you."

"What do you mean?"

He paused. "When I saw what you and Paul had in the recordings…I wanted a part of it. But I didn't know how else to make it happen."

Now, this was getting uncomfortable. Dad had feelings for us? It hadn't been just sexual?

"I'm gay, Phil. I've always been. But I don't want to be like this."

All of this was too much to take. I didn't want to think or talk about this anymore. I didn't want any more of this to happen. I just wanted to move on and pretend everything was normal again. I pulled him into my arms and wrapped them tightly, the first time I showed this kind of affection to my own father. I didn't even know what to say. But his sudden burst of tears made me want to erase everything and start over.

I kissed Dad's head and let him cry, and I ignored my cock twitching from being this close to him, naked.

After so many minutes of crying, he looked at me for a moment. He sniffled, his face drenched with tears, his blue eyes focused on mine. Then, he kissed me.

Deeply.

What was he doing? Why was he kissing me? Why couldn't I stop? I didn't want this. I didn't want anyone but Paul.

I broke the kiss and sighed. "Dad…no. We can't do this."

"I love you, Phil. I love you and Paul. I don't want to be gay, but…I can't stop thinking about being with you both. I can't ever just be your father anymore. It's either this or nothing."

Oh, no. This wasn't happening. This reality was too much for me.

He shuffled around and lowered his head to put his mouth on my cock, sucking away.

"Dad, what are you doing?" Fuck…it felt amazing, though. No, no. This was wrong. I gently pushed his head away. "Dad, no. Stop. We can't do this."

But he put his mouth back on it and continued sucking me, and this time, it became even more challenging to stop him. This feeling. Why was I enjoying this like a sick fuck? Was I as sick as he was? I pulled out of his mouth to lie on my side for a sixty-nine position. I leaned toward his hard cock and sucked him while he sucked me. I wasn't sure why we were doing this. He'd done terrible things to us. At the same time, maybe this would be my final interaction with him. To get it out of our system and never see each other again.

His mouth slurped on my cock, and he moaned, sounding hungry for me. I was so horny and confused and feeling torn that my body wanted something entirely different from what my mind and heart wanted. Within just moments, I grunted as I flooded his mouth with my cum.

Seconds later, he gripped the back of my head and cried out in ecstasy as he made me swallow his cum, the first time I tasted someone's cum.

I gagged from the realization of swallowing my own father, and bile threatened to surge from my throat. I couldn't finish the rest, and I spit the rest of it out, still gagging. I controlled myself from throwing up, and I coughed. What had just happened? Why had we done that?

He sighed, and we stayed on the floor for a moment. Then, he got up and began to get dressed, looking just as confused as I was.

I had no clothes here since he'd taken them away with him. So, I remained on the floor in deep shame. I couldn't look at him. I just stared at the floor. We'd never be able to have a normal relationship. We were fucked up in different ways. It was to say goodbye.

Forever.

"I'm terrified that Paul's going to report everything," he said, trying to control his emotions. He was back to how he'd always been. "So I want to make you an offer. I have a ton of money saved. More than anyone knows. If I pay for you and Paul to move out of state and live together somewhere far, anywhere you'd like, will you promise me that what I did to you will stay between us? That if the cops question anything, you'll deny the truth? We'll never see each other or even speak again. We'll live our separate lives. I'll tell your mother that you and Paul found new jobs or whatever I can think of. No worries there."

Relief came over me. I'd needed to hear that. As much as I probably should've reported what he'd done, I just wanted to move on. It was clear to me now. Our relationship was beyond repair. While there was still a small part of me that wanted things to be normal between us, to forgive and forget, it was too late.

But I had Paul. My sweet little brother. The love of my life. No woman could ever mean the same way he meant to me. I realized it more and more. I was in love with him, and I wanted to build a life with him as both his brother and lover. I'd even adopt a baby with him. I'd fucking marry him if I could. I wanted forever with him.

And only him.

I nodded but still didn't look at Dad. "Okay. Deal. But in one condition."

"What is it?"

"Give us the money first to take care of it ourselves. I don't want you to know where we move to."

After a long pause, he said, "Fair enough. I'll go home and get some clothes for you."

The door flew open, startling us. My heart pounded like a jackhammer. Paul stood there fully clothed with a shocked expression, but he wasn't alone. A cop stood right next to him, and the look on his face made me realize there was no explanation for me being naked while Dad's blood and cum were on the floor.

Oh, fuck…

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