A Philosophy of Life

Eli lay on the lounge chair, stretched out in just swimming trunks, skin glistening wetly in the summer sun as he watched the guys horsing around in the pool. It was a birthday party for James, his thirtieth, and the pool was crowded with friends. Eli knew most of them, many his own friends. But there were a few he only knew by face, guys that James or Mike, his partner, knew in some other circle. Eli knew they were involved in a charity and some of them were from that relationship. And he was aware of one other guy, the one that stayed to the periphery, sitting on the edge of pool at the far end watching everyone else.

Eli was glad to have his dark shades on. They concealed his eyes and allowed him to look where he wanted without James or Tyler or Marc coming over to ask who he was checking out. He didn’t know why it mattered, but he wanted to keep it to himself. Maybe it was how he wasn’t into the most muscular body, or the guys with the perfect model good looks. Looking to his right where Bobby had squealed, he saw several guys around Jacob. It didn’t surprise him, for Jacob always had guys circling him. He was perfect. A body built in a gym, perfect blonde hair and blue eyes, and the guys fawned on him to the point Eli found it humorous. At the end of the pool, sat Bobby, another guy the others circled like sharks around prey. Bobby was boyish, looked fourteen instead of twenty-four with thick brown hair, brown eyes and a body that was lean. A body that had photo shoots from time to time for the way clothes hung perfectly on it. A way everyone wished their clothes fit. He was another perfect male specimen, and one that Eli found himself attracted, but not like the guy at the other end of the pool, the one who avoided the center of attention.

Eli considered what he knew about this other guy. Connor Mitchell, twenty-five or twenty-six, moved to the city last year after working in Denver for a couple of years, and grew up somewhere in Oklahoma. He was tall, lanky, with brown hair that would have blonde streaks in it by summer’s end, and green eyes, and teeth not quite perfect. And he was shy, introverted, and Eli found himself watching Connor more than any other guy at the pool party. Connor was a friend of James and Mike from the charity they all volunteered. Eli had considered volunteering too but felt guilty wanting to do so just to be near Connor. Instead, he volunteered at another agency delivering meals to the sick and elderly.

“Why don’t you go talk to him?” asked Mike, sitting down next to Eli.

“Talk to who?” Eli replied.

Mike scoffed, shaking his head. “Don’t be so shy, Eli. Connor is a nice guy. Go on, talk to him.”

“Connor? What makes you think…”

“Don’t bullshit me, Elijah Hugh McDonald. We’ve known each other how long now? You can flirt with guys that you find attractive but those that you really like, you just clam up. Look out there. Guys circling around Jacob or over there flirting with Bobby but Connor, well, you see one or two guys approach him, but…he really is so shy that the guys think he is pushing them away.”

“But I don’t know anything about him,” Eli replied, throwing out the worst excuse, and he knew it.

“First of all, you know more about him that most of these guys and second, that is why you go out on dates. Jesus, you know this. Stop making excuses. If you’ll let me, I’ll…”

“No! I’ll do it, okay?”

Mike smiled with satisfaction. “Okay. Now that my work here is done, I’m going for another cocktail.”

Eli watched Mike circle the pool to the bar under the porch. He had to admit their backyard was perfect. A porch that was almost of the width of the house, and deep enough to have tables and chairs on one end and a sitting area on the other. It was separated from the pool deck by a landscape strip and a few steps down. The pool was in the center of the back yard, with a trellis on the opposite side among a heavily landscaped area. An area that was behind Eli and when the sun got to hot, he planned to back into. For the time being he lay on the lounge chair and watched Connor slip down into the pool, and rest his left arm on the coping. Connor watched the antics going on in the pool. The horsing around and goofing off, and on the steps, George came down next to Bobby, cocktail in hand, to make a play on him.

Eli lifted his cup and found it empty. An excuse to go around the pool. He climbed off the lounge chair and ambled the long way around, a path that would take him by Connor. He saw Connor’s cup was empty too and he passed him a couple of steps, then backed up.

“Hey, I’m going to the bar. Can I get you another drink?”

Connor looked up, smiling, “Yes, that would be nice.”

“What are you drinking?”

“Gin and tonic.”

“Perfect. I’m drinking the same.”

Eli moved up the steps and under the porch where Randall and Joe were busy making drinks. He slipped around the bar next to Joe and waited, as he watched their concoction come together, something red that was no doubt too sweet for him.

“Hey, Eli, nice party isn’t it?” asked Randall as Joe slipped umbrellas into their drinks.

“Yes, always a good time at their pool parties.”

“Here,” Joe said to Randall holding out a drink, “you’re up,” he added to Eli.

“Thanks,” Eli replied as he pulled out his own gin from underneath then held the lime down on the cutting board, cutting off two slices. He mixed two drinks and made his way back to the pool. Connor was sitting on the pool’s edge when Eli returned. He saw those green eyes look up at him, the way they complimented the smile that greeted him. Connor took the drink and he noticed once again the long fingers that wrapped around the cup. He started to head on around the pool when Connor shifted over and patted the coping.

“You can sit down, if you want,” said Connor.

“Thanks,” Eli replied, easing down next to him, dangling his legs into the cool waters of the pool.

“This is good. What did you do different from Mike?”

“I didn’t use that cheap gin they put out for the party. I used something a little better.”

“Thanks, this is much better.”

“Your welcome. I’m Eli, by the way.”

“I know. James and Mike told me all about you.”

“They did?”

Connor laughed, then looked around at Eli, “and a moment ago I saw Mike talking to you and looking this way. He tell you to come keep me company?”

“No, no, he…” Eli hesitated and he saw Connor waiting on his reply. ‘Fuck it’ he thought, “he knew I had mentioned being interested in getting to know you and he was…”

“Pushing you to act?”

“Yes” Eli replied, chuckling at how obvious it must have appeared to Connor.

“How do you know them?”

“We worked together years ago doing some volunteer work for the Pride festival, then later on we were in this group that met once a month for dinner at some new restaurant, or one of the old favorites.”

“I’ve heard about that. What happened to it?”

“Got too popular. Too many people and those us that were there in the beginning just dropped out. It eventually morphed into the Friday after work events, going from hotel to restaurant to bar. What about you? How did you guys meet?”

“I think you know all about that,” Connor replied, grinning at Eli, “the volunteer work at the youth center. James told me he tried to get you to join them, but you had some other volunteer group that kept you busy.”

“Yes. The meals for those in need. I delivery to a group of elderly gay men. I rotate my deliveries so the last one can have extra time. By month’s end I’ve visited with each one, listening to them tell stories of the fifties and sixties.”

“Must be interesting.”

“It is, and funny. Jesus some of the stories they tell,” Eli replied laughing at the memory of some.

“You originally from here?”

“No, I moved here like most of the others. I’m from North Carolina. You came from Oklahoma, right?”

“See, I knew James and Mike told you all about me,” said Connor, blushing red.

“I did ask them about you. Was that okay?”

“Yes. It’s nice. I know I’m not like Jacob or Bobby.”

“They do draw a crowd, don’t they?”

“Yes. I wonder if it gets old, all that fawning over them.”

“Not to Jacob, but I’ve heard Bobby complain about it when we’ve been at one of the bars.”

“How long are you going to stay at this party?”

“I’ll probably slip out before my skin wrinkles up and I get too much sun,” Eli replied, grinning at Connor. “And you?”

“I could leave any time,” replied Connor, and there was a hint in the way he spoke. An invitation Eli couldn’t miss.

“How about dinner later? I know this great little Thai place in Chesterfield.”

“OH, I know it. It is good. Yeah, I’d like that.”

“I can pick you up around seven.”

“Why don’t we meet there. I live in Windsor and I know you live on the other side of town.”

“I don’t mind, but if you prefer…”

“I do. Seven at the Grand Palace.”

Eli had to park down the street, the neighborhood getting more popular as more restaurants and bars opened. He strolled back to the small Thai restaurant, amused how its name implied a grand place. It had been a mill house. A simple unadorned wood sided structure with a small porch across the front packed with two-top tables, with four-tops on the small patio area between it and the sidewalk. Making his way inside, he found the interior crowded as well, dining areas in the original living and dining rooms and to his left, in the front bedroom, a small bar ran across the room. Sitting in the middle, leaned back against it, smiling at him, was Connor.

“You beat me here,” said Eli as he made his way to the bar and next to Connor.

“Just barely. Long enough to get a drink,” Connor replied, holding up his glass. “What will you have?”

“Gin and tonic. Did they say what the wait is like?”

“Forty-five minutes, but I bet it’s longer.”

They settled against the bar, one drink finished and the second in hand as they talked about the party and the antics that occurred in the pool and out. The initial nervousness of a first date seemed to evaporate and they relaxed with each other. The friendly smiles, the light touch of a hand on an arm, the clink of glasses at something stated that was funny or poignant and the relaxing of their posture, leaning against the bar next to each other.

“So, Connor, what is it you do for a living?” asked Eli and he immediately saw Connor’s expression change. A frown that creased the eyebrows and the look down avoiding eye contact. “I’m sorry; I’m not…”

“I know. Sorry, it’s just some guys expect…”

“Accountants, lawyers, doctors and bank executives?”

Connor laughed, nodding his head. “Something like that. Honestly, part of the problem is I feel like maybe I’m not doing what I should be doing.”

“What do you mean?”

“I have a degree in Landscape Architecture.”

“And?”

“And I used it for six months, then quit. I realized I wanted to get my own hands dirty. To not only design the landscape but put it in. To see if come together. Is that silly?”

“Oh, hell no. So, you work in the field instead of in a cube. Good for you.”

“Oddly enough, the money is not much different, not for an intern versus being in the field.”

“How do you see it working out for you?”

“I start my own landscape company, mostly residential, but…who knows, and I do the design and with a small crew put them in.”

“Sounds great. How is going so far?”

“Good. Mr. Godwin, the man I’m currently working for is letting me do more and more design work and I’m getting my hands dirty putting them in. I hope to start my own company in a year or two.”

The hostess buzzes Connor that their table is ready, and he holds up the flashing square, “we’re up.”

It was a small two-top in the back, against a wall with a mural of Buddha sitting under a Bodhi tree where Eli and Connor found themselves. The crowd inside became a buzz of white noise as they browsed the menu, ordered drinks then food. Once their drinks were in hand and there were no more interruptions by their waiter until their food would come out, Connor leaned forward, closing the distance between them.  It increased the intimacy between them and allowed him to speak softly.

“I know it’s silly to hesitate telling guys what I do, but some seem to expect…expect…”

“The six-figure job on the top floor and an enormous expense account?” Eli interjected, smiling.

“Yeah, something like that. What do you do?”

Eli laughed. “I’m a mechanic. Work for this small private shop down on Hill Street.”

“Seriously?”

“Yep, so you’re preaching to the choir about liking to get your hands dirty.”

Connor laughed, and visibly relaxed, no longer feeling the need to impress the person across the table.

“And here’s the funny part,” said Eli, “my boss probably makes more than most of the guys who drive fancy cars and try to impress with the latest gadget or fashion.”

“How long have you been at that shop?”

“I started once I completed a two-year college degree, so it’s been five years now. I keep telling myself to open my own shop, but for now…the money is good, and I let the boss handle the headaches.”

“What kind of car do you drive?”

“I have a 2002tii I got from my grandfather and my daily driver is a 2000 Cherokee. Does that meet expectations?”

“Definitely,” Connor laughed, “I drive this old Dodge truck, a 04 model. It looks a little rough but runs good.”

“But you’re not always keen on others seeing it?”

“No,” Connor replied grinning at the truth of it.

The food came out and they ate while moving on to other topics. Childhoods, siblings, being gay and what it was like growing up, neither having a traumatic experience but the usual anxieties and worries. Far too soon, they found themselves on the sidewalk.

“Connor…would you like to come back to my place for a drink?” Eli asked, wondering how far he could push it with Connor. He didn’t want the night to end, not yet, but he didn’t want to go to some bar or club. Glancing at his watch, he saw it was only 9:45, far too early for a date (as he come to think of it) to end.

Hands down in each front pocket, rocking on his feet, Connor smiled while nodding his head. “I’d love to come by for a drink.”

“Great. I’m parked around the corner.”

“Me too, about four blocks down.”

“Funny, I’m about five down. Come on; let’s get out of here and back to my place.”

Eli lived in a small house in an older neighborhood. In the backyard, a detached 2-car garage, something rare among the homes around him. It had been the selling point for him, the thing that allowed him to keep the old 2002tii close, ready to be driven whenever the notion struck. His grandfather had given him a down payment for the house, as he had done for the other grandkids. He had been in the house almost two years, slowly making improvements that made it feel like his home.

On this night, only two lamps on in the living room, Eli came into the room carrying two drinks and eased down on the sofa near Connor who was thumbing through a book on the 2002tii's he kept on the coffee table.

“Thanks,” said Connor, taking one of the drinks. “I’ve seen these cars but don’t know much about them.”

“It is a fun car to drive. It’s not the most powerful thing on the road, but what is there you can use every bit of it.”

“This is a nice place,” said Connor, laying the book back on the coffee table and looking around the room.

“My grandfather has helped each of us grandkids into our first homes. Without that help I’d probably still be renting.”

“Case in point,” replied Connor.

“Do you have any projects going on that you really like?”

“One down in the Myrtle Grove neighborhood.”

“Myrtle Grove? I would think those are not high end enough for your work.”

“That might be true of most but this is a couple who have their own businesses and even though they are doing well, remain in the neighborhood for they like the scale of it and how people walk and bike the neighborhood.”

“They have you doing anything special?”

“Oh yeah, you should see the rear yard. It has all these sculptures by their friends or artist they discovered in their traveling. I’m doing landscaping and hardscapes to create settings for each piece. It’s been…inspiring.”

“Sounds lovely.”

Connor blushed and sipped his drink. An intimacy seemed to permeate the room. Eli set his empty glass down and leaned back looking at Connor. The long lanky build and how Connor struggled to find a place for his legs. The long neck and brown hair with streaks glowing blonde in the dim lamp light. Connor turned toward him and even though he couldn’t tell the color in the shadows of Connor’s face, he could see the green eyes looking at him. Shy, almost ready to turn away.

“I’m glad you came over,” Eli whispered, “You have to be up early in the morning?”

“No…”  Connor’s response hung between them; the sound of the ‘o’ stretched out.

“Will you stay with me tonight?”

Connor smiled as he looked down, then nodded his head slowly. “I’d like that.”

The bedroom was dark except for the light from one lamp on the right nightstand. On the lowest setting, the lamp barely illuminated the room, giving it a warm glow with deep dark shadows in the corners. Music played softly and so low Eli could hear Connor’s breathing. The nervous nature of it and he reached out and let his fingers graze the neck till he held it at the back pulling them together. Their second kiss, the first in the living room, and it was the most intimate. The passion bringing them together. Bodies pressed against each other while hands explored the other. Eli kissed along the jaw feeling the smooth nature of it and knew Connor barely needed to shave. He moved to the earlobe taking it in his mouth, then he tongued the curving form of the ear and felt Connor shiver against him.

Eli removed Connor’s shirt and kissed the collar bone, the chest down to the right nipple and he felt it harden against his tongue. He toyed with the hard nub of it as he undid the jeans, working them open, He dug his fingers into the boxers finding the hardening cock and toyed with it till Connor pushed him back, gasping for breath.

“Slow down,” Connor uttered, then moved to Eli.

Eli felt hands touch him, lips graze his skin, lingering on the most sensitive areas. His own clothes were removed; shirt, then jeans, then boxers, leaving him naked. Connor, with jeans and boxers around his ankles, fell to his knees, and Eli saw his eyes staring up while shifting down, then back up capturing his cock. He watched it disappear as the sensation from the wet mouth enveloped it. He grew harder as tongue toyed with the shaft then the lips drew back, tugging on it. Continuing the manipulation, Connor soon had him hard as rock and when released, his cock bobbed in front of him, glistening wetly in the dim light.

“Eli…get on the bed,” Connor uttered, his voice so low as to be barely heard. But Eli heard him. And he felt it, this need to take this moment to the one place it deserved, the place it demanded: his bed. He eased down on his back, expecting Connor to move up between his legs. The expectation mixed with desire for Connor to move between them, lift them up and against bare chest as cock was pushed inside him. But Connor stood, removed his jeans and boxers and climbed on the bed next to him. Knee walked up next to him and straddled his waist. “I want you inside me,” Connor replied to the question not spoken but inferred by Eli’s expression.

Eli felt the movement on his cock, the way Connor rocked back and forth on it. It was pinned between them and flexed with his arousal at the manipulation. Hips swinging forward then back, rubbing along every inch, till Eli couldn’t hold back. He dug his fingers into each thigh, crying out once. “Connor,” came his plea, breathlessly, unable to utter another word. He watched Connor rise up, while reaching behind his back. He felt fingers on his cock then saw them hold him up as Connor eased down to it. There was the weight of Connor, the press down on the head, then the painfully pleasant squeeze on the head, then inch after inch of the shaft as Connor eased down all the way.

“OH…oh…” Eli mumbled, unable to form words to describe the feeling, merely the primitive cries that said so much more. He shuddered when he felt Connor rise up, the tightness tug at his cock, then the pleasant sinking back into the soft heat of Connor’s body. Repeatedly, Connor moved up and down, slowly increasing his pace. It seemed an eternity to Eli but then far too soon, the bed squeaked and rocked as Connor’s pace increased. It was a fuck. A hard driving, ass crashing down on cock, fuck.

Connor began to moan, cry out, as he moved roughly up and down on Eli. His voice reverberated with every penetrating drop down. The bed squeaked louder as it struggled to hold them. Eli held each thigh feeling the flex of muscle, the way it strained with Connor’s exertions. Opening his eyes, he leaned up and watched the long lean torso move on top of him. The way the skin began to glisten in the light, the way muscle grew more defined, each one straining tightly beneath the smooth wet skin.

“Connor,” Eli uttered as he felt himself getting close. “Too soon,” he whispered to himself as he raised up and pulled Connor tight to his chest. He felt his own heart racing in his chest, then the heat of the body against it. The wet slickness of the body as he clung to it and his cock buried inside it, while begging his arousal to decrease. A kiss to the upper chest as hands ran up and down his back. Every touch sent shivers up his spine and unable to hold back, he rolled Connor over on his back shifting down between the long legs. And he began to fuck.

The exertion, every muscle worked hard, drove him to near exhaustion as he piston cock inside the depths of Connor’s body. Inward all the way, hips smacking up against upturned ass, till the bed began to protest again. Rocking in rhythm to their movements, it banged against the wall. Sounds of their fucking echoed in the room. The bed’s squeaks and bumps against the wall, Connor’s cries, pleas for Eli to fuck harder and the sound of their bodies coming together. It as primeval, their base instincts pushed to the breaking point.

Eli rose on hands and fucked as hard as he could, feeling the hardness of his erection with a sensitivity he could barely endure. Sweat trickled down his face, chest and from under his arms. It dripped down on the prone Connor and its scent lay heavy around them. His muscles burned with their exertion and Connor’s hand hit his stomach with a steady rhythm till cum spattered his chest and stomach. The final attack on Eli’s senses. The scent of cum hit his nose and he shuddered with is own release, thrusting into Connor’s depths with every ejaculation.

Sunlight cut through the blinds that were slightly open. The lines of light moved across the floor as they angled steeply into the room. It was nearly eleven in the morning and Eli finally stirred awake. Connor was snuggled against him and he looked at the sleeping face with its relaxed expression and long eyes lashes and hair messily falling around it. A look of innocence that defied their night together. Eli remembered the time after their last sex during the night. It had been nearly five in the morning and had lasted a long time, the two of them going for the third time. They had taken much longer to climax, and it had exhausted them to the point they could barely move afterward. Sleep overtook them quickly after collapsing against each other.

Eli eased out of bed, gently slipping free of Connor’s arm, and went into the bathroom. Door closed to prevent disturbing him, he pissed, brushed his teeth and stepped into the shower with the water so hot it quickly steamed up the bathroom. It felt good to his muscles, caused them to relax after not getting enough sleep. He faced the spray of water letting it hit him in the face, then he turned his face down feeling the water hit his head and cascade down around it.

Eli heard the door swing open and piss hit the water in the toilet. “Good morning. You sleep okay?”

“Good morning,” Connor replied, and Eli could hear the smile in the tone of voice. “I slept too hard after our last sex.”

Eli heard the steady stream finally stop and the toilet flushed, then the curtain slid back. “Make room,” said Connor as he stepped into the shower and up against Eli’s back.

For a moment they just stood still, Connor hugging their bodies together letting the hot shower wash over them. Then Eli felt the first kiss to the back of his neck, the way it lingered, grew more passionate till teeth raked over his skin. The hands that had been holding him firmly, now roamed over his chest and stomach. One moved further down and fondled him till he grew erect. He felt Connor against his ass, growing erect as well, and it amazed him how the two of them could become aroused again after last night. But he grew hard, the head flared out wide, so sensitive to Connor’s manipulation he shivered whenever the hand moved over it. He felt Connor against his ass, the thick shaft nestled between his cheeks. He worked his hips, pushing his cock through the fist that held it, then back against the hard cock. He bent over till his forehead touched the tile wall while reaching back spreading his cheeks.

“Fuck me,” Eli whispered, and he felt Connor at his opening, pushing against its tightness till he opened to the penetration. It was agonizing how long Connor took to push into his hole, so slow he could feel every inch as it squeezed into him. He put his hands on the wall and pushed back, pressing his ass against Connor’s hips, until he had every inch inside him.  

Connor held his waist, the fingers firmly pressed into flesh, and began to fuck. A slow pull outward then a push back in. Eli could feel how the thick cock tugged at his tight opening, then pushed back in, over and over until Connor began to fuck, to drive into his depths. Their grunts and moans grew loud, echoing in the small room as Connor fucked harder. Eli felt the kiss in the middle of his back, felt those lips drag upward till at his neck, then along the side of his head till they tugged at his earlobe, tongued the ear and kissed the place just below it. He shuddered from the sensations, the cock that bore into his depths and the way Connor touched him, with hands, lips and tongue.

As the water cooled, the hot water running out, Connor’s pace grew rougher, out of rhythm and Eli knew he was close. Connor slammed cock into his depths, shuddered against his back and came. As soon as Connor pulled out, cock going flaccid, he turned off the cold shower, spun Eli around and went to his knees. He took the hard cock in his mouth and moved on it with an urgency. A hunger that pushed Eli over the edge far sooner than he imagined possible, and he filled Connor’s mouth with his load.

Eli found himself falling into the rhythm of dating, the nights out and the waking up early to get Connor rushed out on his way to his job, then getting ready for his own. The weeks passed and their friends went from asking how their dating was going and making jest of it, to it becoming a part of them, something so expected as not to draw attention to it. It was expected Connor would be with Eli, that it was the two of them, not just Eli.

Over time, as they grew closer, came to understand the other, they made plans, then executed them, first being a renovation of the house Eli owned to make it work better for the two of them, then the start of Connor’s own business. Eli stayed with the shop, secure in having a steady well-paying job and a boss that never said a derogatory word when Connor showed up for lunch or came in for maintenance on his truck.

Their friends changed jobs, bouncing from bank to bank or accounting firm to accounting firm. Some started their own business. And through the months, they showed up in new cars and wore the latest fashions. But Eli and Connor lived their lives at their own pace. They settled into their own routines and would show up in the old 2002tii, dressed down in jeans and t-shirts, displaying a comfort that the others envied but never dared admit. It didn’t go unnoticed how their friends no longer made derogatory comments about their jobs and getting their hands dirty. It was obvious, the stability the two created for themselves, and how they loved their work.  And how they loved each other.

There had been a fundraiser at the museum and Eli and Connor were wondering through the museum. Part of the benefit was to allow those in attendance access to the galleries, as a way to promote the museum. They circled through the spaces, admiring each piece. They were standing in front of a painting by Kooning when Mike stepped up next to them.

“You guys having fun?” Mike asked as he leaned around to look at them in the face.

“Yeah, and you?” Eli replied.

“Yes, back there,” said Mike nodding in the direction of the banquet hall.

Eli knew Mike preferred the party atmosphere over the quiet solitude of the galleries. “So, why are you not there?”

“Your wanted back at the banquet, and I knew exactly where I could find you.”

“What’s up back there?”

“They are about to make some announcements and James said to make sure you are present.”

“Okay, we’ll head back,” said Connor.

“Good. I’ll see you back at the party,” replied Mike who began to walk away. After going about twenty feet, he stopped and looked back. “And Eli?”

“Yes, Mike.”

“I’ve not said this before, but the two of you…this partnership…I told you so.”