Top #Selfies of the Week: Stroke It

These guys all met up and planned their selfies together, all to make you jack off to them. This is my selfie conspiracy theory. As conspiracy theories goes, it's no less provable than most, and a lot more fun. Plus no men in black hiding alien landings from our knowledge.

Thought the guy sticking his tongue out could be an alien. Possibly the genderless ruler of the planet Dicktron?

If so, I'm definitely going to ask him how much for a one way ticket to Dicktron's capitol city, Pittsburgh. Just a random phonetic coincidence that Earth has a Pittsburgh .You'd think their capitol would be called Dicktronia, but hey, it is what it is. It's not like I make this stuff up.

Dick filling more than 3/4 the height of a pic is a fun thing. Makes you feel your face is right up close. Plus it's good practice for your job on planet Dicktron, which consists of 37-hour work days all about alien dick. 

That will be one job in which you won't want to take coffee breaks. 

Since you  may not be able to book your ticket to Dicktron for awhile, know that if you stroke your cock to these pics, it can generate energy through penis fission that will power the space engines to take you through space to the dicks of your dreams.

Or just find a guy who looks pretty close to one of these guys and do him in the back seat of your car, or bus or whatever. It's what the universe wants.