Public Exposure: What Are Clothes For?

Before clothes, nudity wasn't a thing. Not having any clothes on wasn't a state of being. Now, thanks to clothes, it is. Because clothes are for taking off.

And preferably when that special someone can see. By special someone, I don't mean anything romantic. But the grand someone. A crowd of someone. The amorphous glob of onlookers gawking and smiling and leering and whatever else globs of onlookers do. Hopefully shooting globs.

To be clear, there is an element of nonconsensuality. Because not every onlooker wants to see. But there is definitely something different about public nudity than private or public assault.

Still, people have a right to be offended and complain all they like and if someone is breaking a law of some sort, then a naked police officer can drive up in their transparent car (the equivalent of Wonder Woman's transparent jet) and arrest the naked person and put the in the back seat in invisible handcuffs and read them their rights, which do not apparently include the right to be naked if someone complains.

Or since that's a lot of trouble, the naked police officer (unpunished by the law to this point due to police acting above the law) can drive the naked person to a better spot for showing off. Like a football stadium so they can be on the Jumbotron.

Honestly I get why people are afraid of nudity itself, but I'm more afraid of what people do, not what they're wearing or not wearing.

Time to put on my skis and nothing else and hit the slopes.

Read our Out in Public review