Public Exposure: Bros Before Clothes

I probably got that phrase wrong, because most of these guys are hoes. Allegedly. Now so I don't get anything else wrong, someone needs to explain to me the erection of the guy sucking beer from a hose. Because his dick is not just a matter of gravity. There's a definite boner situation happening.

Maybe it's some evil frat initiation involving Viagra and beer? More likely he's just excited at being manhandled while the center of attention. Or he has a hose-sucking fetish. All I know is I hope to never see him at a Pride Parade.

Oh wait, this is probably from a Pride Parade afterparty. Kids today.

There's also a beer moment going on with the tan line quartet. I much prefer that to a barbershop quartet. The only harmonies I want to hear are their orgasmic moans while simultaneously burping from the beer. People have been wondering how the Grammy Awards can regain respect in the industry. Clearly, I just described a path forward.

Though if I were there, I don't think holding up a microphone would be first on my list of activities.

As for the nude weigh in, there's really no reason for that beyond the prurient. The most basic kitchen scale allows taring. And with this larger scale, just weigh the clothes separately one time then subtract that from subsequent clothed weigh-ins.

But nobody tell them that.

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