Flashback: When Vintage Wasn't Vintage

When these pictures were first printed, they weren't vintage at all. They just were. Like how haircuts don't look ridiculous until 7.5 years later. Although every Justin Bieber haircut has looked ridiculous. That's his talent.

And what I like about other vintage photos is the vibe that comes across where it seems the photographer's in a hurry. They're thinking let's shoot this fast and get out of here because the cops are about to bust down the door. And the anti gay porn cops would be able to prove we did obscene stuff because it's really hard to surreptitiously clean semen out of shag carpeting while a cop is watching.

Though I think that's what wet vacs are for. And really greedy bottoms who can never get enough and don't mind flossing out bits of shag carpeting.

You don't know this, but I just paused writing this so I could call a carpet store and ask what's the best carpet to hide cum stains. And then I called back to ask what's the best carpet to showcase cum stains.

In both cases the answer was tight woven mauve. I guess mauve is just really awesome and bad at cum. You do you, mauve.

So let's close with the elephant in the room. I mean the elephant balls in the room. Can you find them? And not ejaculate? On your hardwood floors and/or carpet and/or face?

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