Flashback: Vintage Male Superstars

Or I'm going to pretend they were superstars because that makes everything better. I'm going to pretend they won international acclaim in the form of lavish homes, diamond cuff links, and public praise from national newspapers to randoms in the grocery store.

Because really their stardom was in the form of folks rubbing out sperm loads in what were probably quickie, furtive masturbation sessions under the cover of darkness. Or in the morning if the guy called in fake sick to work for a masturbation day. As some things never go out of style.

But if I say they are superstars, then they can be included in that question of what historical figures would you invite to a dinner party. And I'd like all these muscles and cocks at my next dinner party.

Especially the thick cock at the bottom right. He would make a lovely dinner guest and I'm sure is a stellar conversationalist, right up there with monosyllabic Jeff Stryker.

The key phrase would be "Suck my dick."

The two guys already going at it could be the post-dinner entertainment since "Netflix and chill" wasn't a thing yet.

We interrupt this post so I can bitch about my upstairs neighbors unleashing sex moans at the moment. And bed creaks. And they need to shut the fuck up and keep the orgasms to a dull roar because they are not at all anything like the studs you see here. Oh, they're done now. Or should I say, he's done and she's unsatisfied I assume.

See how much more beautiful the world is when you imagine glamorous naked dinner parties with vintage porn models. And yeah, I get the physical exam shot is not official porn, and in fact if it's a military medical exam, that man may not have fared too well, but he's got a cute ass so it's porn.

Hey, I didn't start whatever war it was. May as well grab fun where you can, as whoever took the picture clearly was considering when he went home and jacked off to his day's work.

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