Flashback: Thick Guys

That's thick cocks, thick muscles, or thickheaded. Now that's super rude of me, calling a vintage model thickheaded, but when it comes to objects of lust, I have to find some imaginary flaw. As perfection is a dull myth.

Though they all have the same major flaw which is they are not here right now. That's what dreams are for.

And I can still bring them into my life in different ways. For example, the guy in the jacket and sneakers and nothing else is clearly modeling what should be my new running outfit. What it lacks in zip pockets and testicular support it makes up for in the potential stampede of sexual popularity that may ensue. Plus I like his hair.

I am totally confused by the pair at the bottom left. They're sort of in a faux headlock position, but mostly it just seems they were caught while trying to figure out how to pose seductively, each torn if they want to be the focus of the photo or shying from attention.

Meanwhile, the guy at the bottom right has an actual emotion. He's smug with a capitol smug. Some may read it as confidence, and maybe it is. But confidence in others is smugness, especially if they have big muscles like him. Okay, yes he looks good, but I'm kind of worried he's just trying to get a guy to go between his legs so he can crush him with his powerful legs.

Is it too late for me to sign up for that treatment? Because his muscular legs wrapped around me would feel like a hug. Oh it's vintage porn, not a personal ad, so yeah it's too late. Where's a time travel machine when you need one?

Read our Retro Males review