Flashback: Nudity Needs No Excuse

Oh look, we're in the locker room celebrating and just happen to be nude. Golly gee! Hey, I need a Swedish, oil-soaked massage so I'm going to be nude and push out my leg and flex my ass just so.

Lots of excuses to provide some setting for amazing nudity. Skip ahead to the guys in color just being naked as hell because they are naked as hell doing naked as hell things.

Nudity doesn't need an excuse or reason, but I still have a soft spot when it's provided. Which totally makes me wish I could go back in time and come up with plenty of excuses for these vintage photoshoots. Or just for a guy I meet.

Like "Wow, my pants are so tight so I took them off! Look at me!" Or "Wow, I'm worried you're going to rip your underwear while you're doing push-ups so you better take your underwear off. Now!"

Or "Here, I made you a spaghetti dinner that you should take your clothes off to enjoy because you wouldn't want to spill tomato sauce on your jeans." Followed by "Whoops I lost your jeans so you'll have to spend the night at my place unless you want to walk home naked!"

We're too jaded for that goofy innocence or just overall silliness. Though some pornos have that goofy context at the start. But nowadays "Pizza Boy, He Delivers" would be "Amazon Prime Now Restaurants, Random Non-Horny Person Delivers and Immediately Leaves." Oh well.

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