What Happens Afterwards

“Ugh, What the fuck” it’s just after 8 am and my Sunday morning gym alarm is going off as I wake up, not ready to get up or go to the gym this morning. I reach over and try to find my phone on my night stand but I can’t find it so reach down to my pants I wore the night before and it was still in my pocket.

As I lay there, I can hear plenty of noise coming from the kitchen and even though I know my roommate Tate is away for the holidays, I don’t think much of it in my current state until I look around and realise that this isn’t my bedroom. This isn’t the first time I’ve woken up in a strange bedroom but usually there’s been a girl on the other side of me and I’ve always left before she was awake to make sure there’s no early moments.

I close my eyes again, trying to get a little bit more sleep but it doesn’t work when I hear the bedroom door open and see a tall, lean but muscled guy come through the door “Hey sleepyhead, you alright?” he asks as I look totally confused about everything right now.

“I… I have no idea where I am or how I got here” as I look and see the guy coming towards the bed with a smile on his face. “You don’t remember what happened last night?” he asks as I just shake my head and he nods but has a smirk on his face that doesn’t really give me any answers on what happened.

As I lay there, I recognise the guy as Alex who is one of the Dancers in the Dance program and know that we actually have a class together but I don’t ever think that we’ve really talked before other than a casual nod towards each other. “So you really don’t have any memory of last night?” he says getting into bed next to me as I realise that I’m laying there completely naked as he gets into bed.

“Uh, not really” I say mumbling trying to keep this guy away from me because I have no idea what is going on here or what happened because there is no way that anything happened here unless it was a threeway with 2 guys and a girl. Alex turns and looks at me as he puts his coffee down “Just some casual, harmless fun, nothing too serious” he says with a smile as I look at him even more confused now.

Even though I tell Alex that I don’t know what happened last night and try to pass it off as being stupidly drunk and doing something dumb, in my head I know everything that happened because part of me has always wanted this but now that it’s happened I just don’t know why I wanted it or I actually did it.

Laying there, every part of my body is aching and I know that I had plenty to drink which is the reason for the headache but I know I didn’t take anything because we have drug testing this week and everybody has to be clean. “I’m totally straight…. So nothing could’ve happened” I say as Alex just laughs as I’m totally bewildered right now about my surroundings.

“Not last night you weren’t,” he says with a smile as my stomach is churning because I have no idea what happened because was I raped and Alex is trying to convince me otherwise?, or did I have sex with the girl that I know he has staying sometimes and I think was at the party.

I look across at Alex “This isn’t something I normally do, wake up in other people's bed with no memory” I say not sure who I’m actually trying to convince right now whether it’s Alex who really only knows me as the Quarterback and that we share the same class or myself saying that I usually have a plan for these situations.

Alex just nods not saying anything as there is a sense of awkwardness right now between us here as I really want to get out of bed and away from here as soon as possible but my body is aching and my head pounding as if I stand up, chances are I’ll end up back on the floor or spilling my guts over his rug.

I lay there for a minute and glance at Alex “Did… we… you know?” the hesitation in my voice is obvious and Alex looks across at me and nods his head. “Yeah we did” he says with a casualness as if this isn’t the first time that he’s had someone in his bed in the same situation.

Laying there, my stomach drops as I feel embarrassed and dirty right now because whilst nobody would call me homophobic, I can’t say that I’ve ever really been called an ally at the same time and probably made a few crass jokes. “I’m… I’m… 100%.... you… know… straight… into girls only… not dick” I say as Alex again is just sitting pretty calmly and casually like we’re a couple more than what is going on.

As I lay there, all my muscles are starting to ache again with the after-effects of alcohol and a late night combined with the muscle soreness of probably the hardest training session we’ve ever done as I look again at Alex who is now playing on his phone. The casualness of the way he’s acting makes me wonder whether this is all some practical joke by my friends because I know a few of them know Alex well. “This is really all a joke, isn’t it? We seriously didn’t have sex last night?” I say now coming to terms that this is a prank from my buds who knew I was drunk and Alex’s place was close by so he offered me the bed.

I notice the causal and upbeat mood from Alex turn more serious as he looks at me “Yeah man, it happened 100%” he says as my stomach sinks and the hope in my voice that this was all a practical joke has gone as I cling onto one last hope that it wasn’t just the two of us.

“So you and me shared a girl last night… right?” Alex must be able to sense my pleading right now because he has gone to a more comforting tone of voice right now which in my hungover state as he looks at me and shakes his head. “Just you and me Jake, all just the two of us” he says as I realise the whole situation right now in the fact that last night I had sex with another guy.

My stomach is churning right now because this isn’t me, I’m not a fag, I like chicks, I like tits and pussy not this stuff I say as the whole room feels really enclosed like I’m stuck in this situation and can’t ever get out of it. Alex doesn’t say anything right now as I really need to get out of bed but my muscles ache too much even though the atmosphere in the room has changed.

Laying there, my mind is trying to figure out everything that is going on because even though I’m at college, I’m not exactly academically gifted and if I couldn’t play football brilliantly and my parents weren’t prominent conservatives I’d be working in Construction. “I fucked a guy… I seriously fucked a guy” I say as finally, my muscles give me enough so that I reach down and grab my briefs off the floor and put them on under the blankets.

Alex is still laying there casually scrolling through Instagram on his phone “You weren’t the top bro” he says pretty coolly and calmly like it’s no big deal that he potentially fucked me last night when for me it’s absolutely a big deal.

I lay there wondering what happened last night and just feeling really embarrassed for some reason because if word got out for this it would be the absolute end of me and the panic just overwhelms me as I almost have tears in my eyes feeling so bad about this. Laying there, I feel Alex’s hand touch my smooth tanned chest as he looks at me “Nobody ever has to know about this if you don’t want them to because it doesn’t ever change who you are as a person” he says with the sincerity that I’ve always seen in passing.

My head is a mess of confusion right now because of course it does change me as a person because I had sex with another guy and that’s not me but then I think about it and realise that nobody else really ever needs to know about it. “You’re not going to tell anyone?  I mean wouldn’t you want to brag about this?” I say as Alex just looks at me with his hand still pressed on my firm muscled pec and shakes his head.

“No way man, I don’t want to out anyone. What happened between us stays between us because it’s not my business to share stuff like that and if you want to talk about then go right ahead, but it’s not my place” he says with the sincerity in his eyes that makes me realise that he is telling the truth and complete opposite to me if the situations were reversed or I was with a girl the night before.

“Thanks man,” I say to Alex who nods his head and moves his hand away from my chest. “But even still, what do I tell people happened or where I went?” I ask still trying to contemplate the whole story and people are going to get suspicious.

Alex gets out of bed and grabs a towel out of a cupboard “Just say that you crashed here because it was closer than heading back to your place last night, that’s it… nobody needs to know anything else and keeping it simple is your best answer, you get too complicated and that’s where it unravels.” Alex is clearly the master of explaining where he has been if he has such smart advice.

I get up and head towards his shower which he tells me to use because it’s cold outside and I have a shower and even though he has tried to make me feel a lot more comfortable I still don’t feel right last night and I feel like I need to wash and clean myself which I do for a few minutes before getting out and putting the clothes on from last night and quickly heading home.

Walking back to my dorm, I feel that the few people who are out at this time of the morning are all staring at me when in reality they definitely aren’t but even still it does feel that way as I head back to my dorm and just get in the shower again. I don’t know why but there feels like a need to scrub everything off right now because it doesn’t matter how long I stand under the water I don’t feel clean.

I get out of the shower and just put a hoodie and track pants on and lay on my bed, trying to just forget everything that happened. Laying there, I can’t put the thought of what happened out of my mind at all because the negative reaction to everyone finding out is more than what I could imagine and that really scares me more than anything.

As I just fall asleep again laying there, it’s a couple of hours later when my phone goes off “Hey bro, you wanna come over and grab a Pizza” my best friend Noah texts me as normally I’d jump at the opportunity but today I just want to be alone.

“Not today man, not feeling well and don’t wanna spread it” I text back as I don’t know if he will be entirely convinced because it’s never stopped me before because even when I had Covid I still went out even though I shouldn’t have.

“You alright man? Do you want me to pick up the Pizza and come over to yours” he says as I appreciate the offer and I could do with Pizza right now but again I’m not sure about the company because even though I know he wouldn’t make an issue I can’t be around anyone.

“Nah, it's fine today I just wanna chill in bed and I’ll probably fall asleep again soon,” I say to Noah who gives me a thumbs up and I just lay there for a bit. Closing my eyes, I’m trying to forget about everything this morning because last night is all still a blur until I woke up in Alex’s bed.

Laying there as I fall asleep again as soon as I put my head down, I lay there and find myself standing in my dorm room as I can hear the shower going and myself naked on my bed, almost tense up and so damn hard right now wanting this girl to come ride my hard cock. I walk to the bathroom and see the tanned body standing there, looking so amazing as the water runs down the soft silky skin especially the hottest set of legs that I’ve ever seen. I want her to turn around but right now she won’t but as I get in there I start kissing what I think is her neck and her skin feels so damn soft but finally when she turns around I get a good look at the face and instead of being the hottest girl in the world, I see Alex standing there completely naked as the water jumps up with his hairless smooth body standing there smiling.

I wake up with a fright “WHAT THE FUCK??” I say as I have no idea what just happened because I’ve never thought of a guy like that and these last 18 hours have been nothing like I’ve ever experienced in my life and as I lay there I realise how hard that my cock has gotten especially thinking about Alex of all people.

“Snap the fuck out of it Jake, you’re not into guys…” the first part of my sentence came out with plenty of definiteness but as the sentence went on I could feel the certainty go out of my voice because now there is plenty of doubt in my voice because why would I go with Alex in the first place and now I’m thinking about him.

The next few days are weird because I try to keep myself as isolated as possible giving every excuse possible from leaving the apartment and actually seeing anyone in person until I actually have to go out because for as easy as it seems that nothing changes, my mind is the complete opposite and panicking that something will give it away straight away.

As everything started to get back to a normal schedule with classes and training getting back into gear, for me it was anything but normal because with everyone back it’s more people that could find out about what happened between me and Alex that night at the party and me ending up at his place with us having sex.

The campus starts to fill back up as the normal schedule is quickly approaching and I only have a fleeting catch-up with Noah to reassure him everything is ok but I can tell that he doesn’t think that it is but he’s not gonna press me on the details because it’s just how we are.

Even though it’s the first Monday back to the normal schedule, Tate won’t be back for a couple of more days because his only Monday class is online and then he doesn’t have anything until Wednesday afternoon so I’m still waking up to an empty apartment. It’s just after 7am when I head down to the gym for our usual Football training session that we start every week with which is usually recovery but today it’s to make sure we are all getting back into the routine.

I head into the gym a bit before everyone gets there just so that I can find my own space and give myself a much-needed motivational talk trying to reassure myself yet again that there is nothing different about me no matter what happened between me and Alex. The motivational talk doesn’t really do much as the guys start coming in and I head out to the main gym and just focus on doing one of the yoga routines over in the corner.

Even though Yoga isn’t my normal choice at the gym, all the coaches actually recommend us to get into doing yoga because it actually helps us to gain a sense of calmness on the field in the tough moments where we need to be clear with our thinking even under pressure to not be panicked. Today though is more about trying to keep my space away from the other guys because I just don’t want to be around the other guys because I just don’t know how to feel and I can’t really be bothered with the usual banter.

Going through the Yoga routine, the other boys in the gym are their usual loud selves as I can see them all cracking jokes and can hear the usual somewhat homophobic comments coming out which I have been more than guilty of making the same jokes but right now something about it just feels so personal as they joke about being a cocksucker or being someone’s bitch.

The comments don’t really mean much but for some reason, they really seem to get on my nerves because they seem personal even though they don’t know anything about what happened between me and Alex. It’s just after 8:30 when we are allowed to leave the gym having done an hour and instead of being the last to leave today, I want to be the first to go as I head into the locker room and not even bother to change before heading back to my dorm.

Heading back to my dorm, I change into my Nike T-shirt and Hoodie before putting on my jeans and grabbing my bag and going to class. I’m a couple of minutes late after stopping via the vending machine to get a can of Red Bull but as I’m heading in I almost walk straight into Alex and stare at him worried about what he is going to say.

Much to my surprise, there wasn’t any real difference in how we normally interacted other than a casual nod of acknowledgement that we always had. Seeing Alex stand there with a slight smile felt weird because in that one second, the hatred that I had for myself seemed to dissipate completely as he went in ahead of me wearing his Rainbow “Love Is Love” jumper so proudly and that he was comfortable with himself as opposed to me who was hating myself.

Looking back at Alex, a fortnight of self-hatred has completely gone as I realise that maybe I’m being too tough on myself for what happened as I sit there and try to concentrate on the class but it just doesn’t work because now I’m thinking about what happened that night. Thinking about things, I always thought that something was wrong with me for even questioning my sexuality but seeing Alex so proud of who he is really puts me in a better spot.

The topic of the class is about dealing with Societal Expectations and how to deal with them and something really hits me listening to the lecturer talk about it because I realise that all the hate that I was putting on myself wasn’t coming from how I felt but thinking about what I should be feeling for someone in my position.

I sit there listening to the lecturer and actually feel more connected to the situation than I thought because there is Alex who is at the top of the Dancing program and has no issues being himself and that’s expected and accepted for him when in contrast for me it’s totally different. In my situation, there are almost two set ways of doing things both as someone who comes from the background that I do and then those as a Quarterback of one of the top football colleges in the country.

In my conservative family, being a "good son" meant sticking to the straight-and-narrow, quite literally. The whole date a girl, getting married, have a family routine was etched in stone which included going to work in the family business, supporting the conservative viewpoint prominently and then if you’re the oldest son having your first-born male child named after his father who in turn was named after his.

The realisation that I’ve had sitting in the classroom really opened my eyes to the situation in that I’m not angry or hating myself because I hate myself, but doing it because of how it was taught to me how to feel about things and that anything not traditional is “Woke” these days.

I head out of class almost feeling like a new person as I head back to the gym to get in a pretty good workout where my mind feels fresh. Taking my own time to contemplate things, I realised that I was trying to block out completely what happened and act as if I was forgetting what happened between Alex and me that night when really it was something that I wanted.

Walking back from the gym, I take an unexpected detour heading back to Alex’s place somewhere that I’ve been avoiding walking past on my way to the shops or the field and heading in there to see if his home and talk things through. I wander up and knock on his door kinda hoping that he isn’t home but he opens the door standing there shirtless as I can only focus on how smooth his body is.

“Oh hey Jake… never thought I’d ever see you around here” Alex says with genuine surprise as he opens the door further. “Can we talk?” I ask with a real sense of nervousness rather than any sort of hate or not wanting to.

Alex almost senses my anxiety and he opens the door as I set foot back into the place that changed everything for me a couple of weeks ago as I can see down the hallway leading to the bedroom where everything happened. Even though I’d gone there to talk to Alex, I have no idea what to say or what I was trying to achieve coming here because I’d been telling myself that he’d been coming onto me but as I piece things together I realise it was me.

The awkward tension is only broken as Alex looks at me “Want a coffee? I was just making one” he says as I nod my head and tell him how I have it as I look around the room with so many smiling pictures of Alex and see how happy he is. Alex wanders out and brings out the coffee “Here you go, and if you’re wondering if I have told anybody, I haven’t and absolutely won’t because the things you told me are yours to share” he says as I smile.

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about really, that morning when I woke up in bed…” I say as Alex nods and almost knows what I’m going to say before I actually say it. “I know Jake, it was your way of trying to reconcile what happened… you were pretty open the night before and then the next morning I think everything hit you hard” he says as I nod my head.

“Yeah, that’s pretty much it, I’d been trying to block everything out because even though it was what I wanted and think that I want… I just thought about everyone finding out and the reactions” Alex nods his head and puts his arm around me.

Alex looks at me “If you can’t get the words out then that’s fine but let me just say, nobody controls who you are but you… I’ve never had an issue with you around the place and you’re a good guy and that is all that matters in the world.”

I nod my head “If people don’t like you because of who you are then they aren’t the kind of people you want to be around at all” he says as I totally agree with him and regain some composure as he looks at me.

“The thing is I don’t know how to feel because I don’t feel straight at all you know… but at the same time I’m not gay at all and I just don’t know what I am” I say as Alex nods his head.

Even in the cold weather, having Alex sitting so close to me with his shirtless body feels so good and it takes me back to how much I actually enjoyed what we did. “That’s perfectly fine and most people don’t really ever know what they want when it comes to their sexuality and that’s normal” he says as I look across at him and nod his head.

Sitting there, I look deep into Alex’s eyes and I don’t know whether I’m reading the situation right or not but I move in to kiss him, pressing my lips against his soft pink lips and feeling the warmth of his body. Alex doesn’t push me away like I thought that he would and in fact, he kisses me back softly at first which feels good before I push my tongue into his mouth and we start making out.

I pull away after a couple of minutes so that I can take off my hoodie as Alex looks at me “You ok with that?” he asks as I nod my head and smile because it feels so much better than I remembered as he looks across at me.

“I’m glad, you actually felt confident this afternoon and felt like you were much surer about this than the other night even though you wanted it” he says as I nod my head in total agreement because even though I know that I wanted it the other night, I was still hesitant about it but today I’ve never been surer about myself.

Alex pulls off my hoodie and runs his hands over my body feeling my muscled chest and even though it’s not our first time together nor is it definitely not the first time I’ve ever had sex, it feels really special like it actually is my first time.

I lay back on the couch letting Alex explore my body with his hands before I feel his tongue running over my chest and around my nipples as he kisses them before going back up my neck and then kissing me on the lips again. The passion and power in the kiss feels so different to what I’ve ever felt because really I’ve always been the “guy” in sex so been the one to dominate things but as Alex takes control something about this feels naturally right.

The kissing continues as I can feel my hard 8-inch thick cock growing and pressing against my boxers in my jeans as Alex starts to grind against me and press our smooth chests together as this feels more right than anything I’ve ever felt before.

I lose all sense of time and have no idea how long we were making out for but it feels good no matter what as instead of pulling my jeans off, Alex reaches down under my boxers and feels my hard cock that is already leaking. “FUCK” I moan as he rubs a finger on it and goes down to my balls which feel so damn good.

“You like me having my hand on your cock don’t you baby,” he says as I nod my head and lay there having almost no control over my body with my lusting urges taking control over my body and leaving me not even sure what to do.

Alex undoes my jeans and pulls them off as my cock springs up and I’m laying there totally naked on his couch as he starts to lick my shaft from the head right down to the base as I can feel it pulsate and even though the air is cold, it just feels so hot right now.

Taking everything slowly, I’m pushed into a sense of absolute ecstasy right now laying there as Alex is treating me like a king right now. The feeling of his tongue running down my shaft feels amazing and better than any blowjob that I’ve ever felt before as I moan loudly with my eyes closed trying to take everything in right now.

My cock and balls are full because I haven’t even had a jerk since the night we had sex here so I’ve been in desperate need to let a load out yet again. Even though I’ve had my cock sucked plenty of times by girls and it’s felt good but this is just next-level amazing right now.

Alex now puts his mouth over my head and licks the slit where my cum is leaking and it is a strange but good feeling as my 8 inches of meat slowly slides down his throat and eventually disappears as I hear him swallowing it and slurping. The speed of Alex’s sucking is faster than I’ve ever felt before and his head bobs up and down sucking my cock harder than I’ve ever felt before and it feels good.

“I’m gonna cum” I say as Alex has only been going for a few minutes but he pulls up and kisses me as I can feel the taste of my pre cum on his tongue as he looks at me. “Do you want to suck on my cock baby?” he says as I nod my head and want to give it a go.

Alex nods and pulls off his pants as his 7-inch uncut cock flings out of his pants and I just look in amazement at how perfect it looks with how smooth he is without a hair in sight. Alex pulls me up to kiss me deeply as we’re both standing there as he guides my hand down to feel his hard erect cock as they both leak rubbing against each other. I slowly go down to my knees, strangely more nervous than what I was in last year's title-deciding game when I had one play to win or lose the game as I see Alex’s cock staring at me in the face.

I take a deep breath and run my tongue over the top of Alex’s cock head and even though I did it that night, it feels all brand new to me as the taste is something different to what I had been expecting and the taste of pre-cum is better than I thought. “Just go slowly Jake” Alex says trying to reassure me that anything that I do is going to be ok even though now I feel so nervous.

Licking the shaft slowly, I hear Alex moaning loudly as I continue to run my tongue down the shaft going slowly so that I can get used to the feeling. I feel a hand running through my hair right now as I’m trying to do my best but worrying that he is only humouring me right now.

I start licking his head softly and slowly and then take his head in my mouth which feels awkward as my mind is racing again now realising that I’ve got another guy's cock in my mouth and although the loudest voice in my head is shouting “SPIT IT OUT, YOU’RE NOT GAY.”

Even though that’s the loudest voice, I know that it’s really just the voice of self-loathing right now and the societal expectations but I know that this is what I want as I keep sucking on the head for a while before going further. I gag a bit as I’m only a couple of inches down and Alex reminds me that I don’t need to go any further if I’m not ready yet but for my own sake I want to and I keep going further down as far as I can.

Alex’s cock is probably 90% down my throat right now and it feels good and to have him moaning loudly is good. Right now it’s all been slow and just getting used to the feeling but now I start to bob my head and Alex takes control holding my head in position as he slowly starts fucking my throat and I end up taking all of his hard shaft down my throat feeling his soft smooth skin against my nose.

Gagging a fair bit, Alex pulls me up and smiles “Fuck you’re a natural” he says with a big smile as I look at him not sure if I really am considering how much I gagged. “Really? I gagged a fucking lot” I say as he has a smile on his face.

“If you saw me sucking a cock the first time, then you’d know it’s a hard skill to master” he says laughing as I kiss him again. “What should we do right now?” I ask not sure whether I should’ve cummed yet or not as he smiles.

“Well if you want to fuck we can?” I nod my head and he looks at me “So you want to fuck me right?” he says as I look at him and shake my head because the thought of being fucked by a guy is so much hotter than fucking a guy because I’m the top all the time with girls.

Alex has a smirk on his face as I shake my head “You really want to get fucked that badly don’t you?” I nod my head because the idea just feels so much better than being a top.

Grabbing my hand, Alex leads me back to the bedroom where we fucked on that Saturday night and he looks at me “Get on all fours” he says as I do that and see myself in his wall-length mirror on all 4s on his bed and it just feels so hot like this being almost submissive.

“Damn you look so hot right now” Alex says as I nod. “Bring me my phone” I say as Alex smiles and gives it to me and I’m so turned on by this I take a selfie in the mirror because I just love the look.

As I’m all fours, Alex comes up behind me and I can see him in the mirror starting to rim me and it feels so fucking good right now as my tight hole is being lubed up. The feeling of being rimmed is so good and I’ve never really been rimmed before because all the girls I’ve been with got turned off about rimming.

My hole is well prepared to take Alex’s cock and I look towards the mirror and see him start to press in and stretch my almost virgin hole and it feels so damn good as he stretches me open. “AHHHH FUCKKK,” I say as the pain is almost like when I tore my calf muscle in a game last season.

I grab hold of the pillow as Alex is trying to get me to adjust to his cock and it’s harder than I could imagine as he just holds it there and after a few moments it starts to feel more normal than it did when he first went in. Starting to pick up the speed as he starts to push in deeper and I can feel his cock against my prostate and he starts fucking me.

Being all on fours and getting fucked is one of the hottest things in my life and all the doubt is gone and this is even better than what I thought as all of Alex’s power goes right through my body. Alex might have a much more slender body compared to me but the power that he has in his thighs and legs from dancing creates a lot of power and it all goes through my body.

Alex continues slamming into me and slaps my ass as he fucks me hard as I can feel my cock leaking so much underneath me and I’m just in a whole new sense of emotion that I’ve always missed but now never want to miss out again. The power of Alex’s cock is so good inside me and I can feel his cum already lining my hole making the thrusts even smoother than they were before.

Pulling out of me, Alex pushes me onto my back and lifts my legs up and slides back into my now loosened precum-lined hole and he goes straight back in and fucks me so that he can see my face as without warning I blow a massive hands free load that goes all over my body and even up into Alex’s face. Alex then pulls out of me and starts to jerk his cock and it doesn’t take long for him to blow a massive cum load all over my body.

Our hot white loads mix together on my abs and Alex leans down and runs his finger over it and feeds it to me before he leans in and licks it up off my abs and that feels as good as anything before we kiss again. I can taste the two loads mixed together as Alex kisses me and moans into my mouth before lying next to me and smiles.

“That one you’re not regretting right?” he says as I shake my head and just have a massive smile on my face because now that I’ve done it properly, I realise that I do really enjoy being with another guy although I don’t think I’d be into random hookups but just with someone I feel connected with and with Alex it’s definitely that.