The Alex Chronicles

Chapter Sixteen

1. Alex’s slutty history

 Billy gets quiet for a while. I know it is my place not to interrupt Him when He gets like that. He is a deep thinker about things and I really admire that about Him.

“So, alex. I have to make something clear to you.”

“What is that, Master?”

“That I love you and cherish you and that you are my very special boyfriend and lover in addition to everything else. Part of that love for you is so strong because you are capable of being my slave.”

“I understand that, Master. Because it’s the same the other way as well. I love You just like all the things You said, Master, but a bit part of that is because You want to own me, to be my total Master. That’s the best part of it all for me.”

“Okay, so we understand that about each other. That’s important to always keep in mind if we begin to get involved with Spike and His people and friends. Because, the way Spike was towards you today, that’s the way it will probably be with all those people and all those gatherings. You will be stripped of even your humanity and you will be a piece of property and maybe sometimes called ‘slave’ but even that was thought of as a bit too soft for the likes of you. And if you ever act resentful or get angry or try to get Me to be affectionate with you, that will be the end of things. We’ll not be welcome there any more. So we really have to think about this carefully. AND it’s not going to be a situation where I make the decision because I’m the Master. WE have to agree to it. Otherwise, you’ll never be able to handle it, certainly not for a whole weekend.”

“sure, but still You could make it up to me a little bit when we’re in private, no?”

“We’ll need a system of codes.”

“Like when You pat me on the head and I know You’re telling me ‘good boy’?”

‘Yes, exactly. Things I can do or say to remind you that you are more to Me than just a piece of property.”

“But I know that, Master, and that’s part of what helped me get through it all today. I knew You were playing a role to blend in with Spike’s way of behaving. I knew it was an act on Your part. But it was also kind of an act on my part, except for the fact that since I felt perfectly safe, I was able to let go of everything and simply sink right down into the way I was being treated and lose myself in it and experience every ounce of the humiliation and degradation. It was like we were visiting a foreign country and we had to learn very quickly what the customs and ways of speaking and acting were.”

“That’s good way of putting it. And I have to be honest with you, alex: I enjoyed being able to treat you that way. This is pretty wild, kid, don’t you think? It’s a whole adventure in theatrics with a lot of kinky sexuality thrown in to make it even more fun.”

“What about tomorrow with Mitchell, Billy? How do we act then?”

“We act the same way we do when we are home alone together. I don’t want to give Mitchell any false impressions, and as long as Art has asked me to coach Him, I’m going to teach Him how important it is to have at least kind feelings for His slave, not to be a rude brute or a stuffy old Victorian like Spike’s group.”

“Good. I’m glad.”

“But you are my slave and I am going to let Him take some ownership with you as well. You already told Me what He acted like at the restaurant alone with you. He’s got what it takes, apparently, and I hope that as time goes by, more and more you will realize He is the Master and you are the slave. Otherwise we’d just be playing a game. It has to be real. We’ll leave the game playing to Spike and company.

“Understand, Master, and am turned on by the way You are approaching this.”

“that’s all I need to know, slave. So act accordingly and be a good boy. I will not hesitate to punish you in front of Him; don’t forget that.”

“this slave won’t, Master. It promises to be a good slave for You and for Your protégé.”

“that’s a good way to think of Master Mitchell for you, boy. Keep it in your consciousness.”

They drive on a bit further in silence again, when Billy says, “Oh darn! I wanted to purchase a good sturdy leather slave collar for you as well. One that can be removed when necessary.”

“One that is better than the one You have at home, Master?”

“Yes. Something much more substantial. Something heavy that weighs on you, too, to help you always remember what you are.”

I sigh and breathe through my teeth and Master knows He got to me.

Master pulls over to the side of the road. “I’m going to give Him a call to see if He’s still there. If so, I’m going back.”

I say nothing. Obviously, this matters a lot to Him even though it will take us an extra hour to finally get home. We’re already a half hour from the studio.

“Hello, Spike? This is Billy. I was wondering if You would still be open in, say about 30 minutes. I forgot something important that I wanted to get in addition to what I’ve already purchased. . . . Forty minutes? Excellent. Thanks, Spike. See you then. Goodbye.” he turns to me: “He’s with a customer now. We can meet Him in 40 minutes. That will give us a chance to stop for coffee on the way. Give you a pick-me-up since supper is going to be delayed. We’ll stop at Dunkin and drink quickly or maybe even better, get it iced so we can drink it on the way.”

I know He isn’t waiting for me to agree or approve. He is simply telling what is going to happen. As always, I just go along for the ride on this adventure which He keeps making up for me.

He turns the car around and heads back where we came. “Enough talk about what’s going on right now. I want to learn more of your sexual history. Tell me, when was the first time that you actually had sex with a man, and I don’t mean just a blow job in a bathroom somewhere, but with a man in bed.”

I chuckle. I like this story. “I was in college, sophomore year. I’d been hunting around but couldn’t manage to connect with anyone other than car blowjobs, not bathrooms, but in rest areas. But one day I was sitting in a lounge on campus doing homework and these two guys were having a conversation not too far from me, and I could hear them. They were talking about bars in the area. “But don’t go to Peter’s Shack, he says, “because that’s a gay bar.” That night I went to Peter’s Shackaround 9:30. It was pretty nice inside—I mean, I wasn’t an expert on bars by then other than the dive near campus where most of us hung out—but nothing wild or suggestive about it. Just an ordinary bar, it seemed, with a jukebox, but everyone there was a guy and there was one couple sitting in a corner with their arms around each other. I sat at the bar and ordered a beer. The bartender handed me the beer and said to me, ‘I really want to get you in bed. Would you meet me tomorrow at the Fisher Club? It’s a mixed bar, but as soon as you show up I’m gonna hustle you on home and strip your clothes off.’ Sure pushed my buttons! So I agreed to meet him at 8:30. That next day and night dragged on so long. I went home after school and took a shower after supper and even shaved again and put some after shave on and escaped my mother’s notice as I snuck out again. it was just like he said it—His name was Tony—as soon as I got there and he saw me he turned to me and said, I’ve got the white Ford. Follow me home.’ and that was that. So we got to his place, a nice little bungalow, and we walk in and he leads me right to the bedroom. Not wasting any time. he put his arm around me and I said to him, ‘I’ve never done this before.’ And he smiled at me. ‘Well then, first of all, why don’t you just take your clothes off and I’ll watch you strip?’ Sounded good to me and I was already getting hard. So I got naked and realized right then and there that it really turned me on to be naked when the other guy has all his clothes on. He told me to lay on the bed, so I did. He looked down at me while taking his own clothes off and says, ‘you are one delicious little twink. I’m gonna devour you.’ and finally got on the bed with me and started kissing me and running his hand up and down my body and toyed with my cock that was already hard. Then He kissed his way down my body and put my cock in his mouth and started sucking it. ‘Can I suck you too?’ I asked. ‘Sure, babe. Let’s 69.’ and that’s what he did and we did it until I came but he didn’t. ‘you don’t have to finish me if you don’t want to’, he said to me. Real nice guy. So I figured I’d pop the big question, ‘does it hurt to get fucked?’ I asked. ‘Depends on how much you want it,’ he answered. ‘I want it, Tony, please?’ ‘okay, I’ll go easy. Roll over, alex.’ So I do and next thing I know he’s got his mouth on my asshole and I thought I’d scream out loud it felt so weird but also so good at the same time. After that,he reached into his night table and took out some lube and lubed up his fingers. ‘raise your ass a bit’ he told me. I did and then he stuck a pillow under my dick so my ass was higher and he started playing with my hole and I moaned like a whore. ‘I’m gonna stick it in now,’he told me. ‘just let me know if I hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you. I want this to feel good for you.’ ‘ok’ I said, hardly able to whisper I’ breathing so heavy. Well, he put it in, and then two, and then three and then finally he said, ‘okay, it’s time. It might hurt a lot when I first go in but just tell me and I’ll back right off.’ he went in and it hurt like fuck so I hollered and he came right out again. ‘lay here for a while and relax. it will be better next time.’ And he was right. I couldn’t believe what it felt like. ‘ok?’ he asked me, I said ‘ok?’ and he started fucking me—not rough, but all the way in and all the way out and I was moaning and groaning. ‘I’m in heaven.’he said to me. ‘me too,’ I answered. ‘well then, that means you’re meant to be fucked, alex. a lot. but always tell someone if it hurts. if they don’t back off then throw them off and get out of there cause they don’t know what the fuck they’re doing.’ he keeps fucking me and finally he tells me he’s coming, and he shoots in me. We cuddled for a while after that but then he said that if I wanted he’d take me to the two other bars in town so they could get to know my face. I thought that was a nice offer, so we did, and just took his car. I got to meet the guys who run the bars and then we went back home and as soon as we got in the door he said to me ‘get your ass in the bedroom, you little slut, and strip and get ready to be fucked again.’ Damn, that was hot. And so he fucked me again. then it was really getting late so I told him I had to go home and he was fine with it.”

“Did he ever fuck you again?”

“No. Right away I started going to the other bars because they were more lively and had a younger crowd And almost every night I went there I ended up in bed with someone different. Some were awesome, and some weren’t really much fun.”

We’ve arrived at Dunkin. He pulls in but doesn’t turn the car off. Digging into His wallet He gives me His credit card and sends me in. Iced decaf for both of us. Fix them the way we like them. Don’t’ forget the straws.”

“Yes, Master,” ! say, getting out of the car.

There’s not a long line so it doesn’t take long. I fix the coffees and go to the car and Master rolls down His window when He sees me and I hand Him His, then get in the other side. He looks at His watch and pulls over to a parking space and shuts down the car. “We can spend some time here drinking. I want you to explain to me what was the difference between ‘awesome’ and ‘not really much fun’ when you were learning to be a whoring slut for the men on Long Island.”

‘Awesome’ was when a guy kind of took charge or at least told me what he wanted me to do. Usually I would end up blowing him and maybe getting fucked if he wanted, and most of them either made me jerk myself  off afterwards or just ended things with nothing for me, but You know that was fine for me, Master.”

“That’s the way it should have been, but I realize you were just a puppy at the time and didn’t know the score. What about the ones that you didn’t care for?”

“Mostly guys who were trying to get romantic even though we’d first met, or who seemed even more submissive than me. I mean, how can you get romantic with someone you just met. One guy fucking said ‘I love you’ while we were on the way to his house. I turned to car around and went back to the bar and said, that was much too fast.” After a couple of weeks of that, I really got lucky.”

“What happened?”

“I was sitting at the bar one night and the bartender brought me a drink. I had switched to wine by then. He gave me the drink and said it was from the guy at the end of the bar. I looked over and this guy was sitting there and He was really really huge. Like 400 pounds. I nodded thanks to him and just sat there drinking my wine and listening to the music. I knew he kept watching me but I didn’t look over there. I wasn’t really interested in getting with a big guy. But He was actually pretty good looking. So anyway, as soon as I finished my drink, I got up to leave and he came right over to me and put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it and told me---not asked me, but told me---to come outside and sit in the car with him. So, what the fuck? I did what I was told. We sat in the car and he introduced himself to me. His name was Luke. The car was really nice and expensive. He said to me, “I know I’m probably not the kind of guy who would naturally attract you, but you seem like a nice kid and I wanted to ask you if you’d go down on me. It’s been a long time.’ He pushed the seat back and said’ get right down here on the floor between my legs. It’s clean down there. Then I’ll take out my dick and you can suck me off. That’s all I want.’ So what the fuck, at least he was giving me orders, so I did what he said. When he took out his cock, damn, it was nice. Perfect size for me and hard as a rock. So I put the tip in my mouth and played with it for a while and then started sucking. This dude started giving me instructions how to do it and set up a rhythm and he was calling me every insulting name in the book from faggot to cocksucker to slut to cumboy you name it. Finally he shot a big load into my mouth and ordered me to swallow it and to clean off his cock, then he put it back away and helped me up back into my seat. He handed me a mint for my mouth. Like I said, he was a nice guy. Then he apologized to me! ‘I hope I didn’t scare you by the way I talked to you. I didn’t mean anything like it, but I just like to talk dirty when I get a guy to suck me off.’ ‘No problem at all, Luke. Actually, I liked it. I like being treated that way and used.’ So you’re a sub?’ ‘Not sure what that all means.’ ‘Submissive’ ‘yeah, I guess so. the way you treated me turned me on.’ ‘would you be interested in coming my place some night? I’ll introduce you to a friend who is really a dominant type of guy and likes training subs. You sound pretty new at this.’ ‘I could probably get into it.’ ‘He’s very good looking, alex, and I promise that all I’ll do is watch and maybe jerk myself  off while he uses you and maybe teaches you a few things.’ ‘sounds hot, Luke. When do you think would work?’ ‘How about Friday night? I’ll meet you here at about 9 and you can follow me to my place. it’s not too far from here.’

‘sounds good. okay.’ ‘can you give me a number in case I have to cancel?’

‘No. I don’t have a private phone and my mother usually answers.’ ‘That’s fine. I know the bartender here. If I have to leave you a message I’ll leave it with him.’ ‘sounds good. goodnight, Luke.’

We have to start driving again.

“So what happened,”  Master asks.

“I get over there. A damn nice place. We walk in and Luke winks at me and takes a leather collar and puts it around my neck I and I almost came right there on the spot!” He attaches a leash and walks me into the living room and there is this really hot guy sitting there watching TV. The guy turns off the TV. Luke walks me over by the leash to this guy and hands him the leash and says he’ll go and get us some beers. Meanwhile this guy pulls my leash until I’m kneeling before him and tells me ‘Luke filled me in on what happened with him. You need some firm training, don’t you, faggot?’ He doesn’t look mean to me at all. “yes, Sir’ I answer. He lets the leash go. ‘Stand up and walk over there by the lights and strip yourself naked, boy.’ ‘Yes, Sir,’ I say, and I do. As I’m stripping, Luke comes back in with the beers and looks me over. ‘Kid looks damn good naked. I didn’t get to see him that way the other night.’ ‘Turn around, kid, let me see your ass.’ I do so. ‘bend over and spread your cheeks so I can see the hole I’m gonna fuck.’ I do that too. I’m hard now, of course.

Luke speaks up. ‘You know, Steve, I’d bet that little alex here would suck even better if he got his pretty ass spanked for a while.’ ‘Bring him over here,’ says Steve. Again Luke takes the leash and brings me over to Sal and tells me to lie across his lap. ‘If it gets to be too much for you, just say BANANA and he’ll stop. That will be your safe work, ok?’ ‘Banana. Okay.’ So this Sal guy starts caressing my ass real sweet like and then starts to spank me lightly and there I am hoping he’ll go harder, and finally he does and it gets harder and harder till I start really squirming. He pushes me off his lap and stands up and says to me, ‘take down my pants, slut and show me how good you suck after you’re spanked.’ I do so. His cock is really big. About 8 inches. He sits and I go to town licking and sucking and doing my best while he gives me some orders but mostly just lets me find my own way while he’s groaning and telling me that I’m gonna learn to be a good cocksucker some day.’ Finally he shoots his load and I catch it all, then he gets up, pulls up his pants, says good night and thanks to Luke and then leaves without saying anything else to me.

I’m kind of shocked. I ask Luke if I did anything wrong. ‘No, alex,’he tells me. Sal is always like that. Once he shoots his load, he wants nothing to do with any guy who helped him out and just leaves. But I know he was hot and has a nice dick and I know he’d want to spank you first, so I figured it would be a pretty good time for you.’

‘well thanks, I said. Actually that’s kind of cool, doing it like that just like a slut and not having any other connection. Just my mouth on that guy’s cock.”

‘Damn, you know something, alex? I bet you’d really like going to the baths. That’s what it’s like all the time and you can get involved with as many guys you want in a single night.’ And he explains what happens at the baths and I sure sounds like something I’d like. then he tells me that when he goes he’s always hearing guys spanked or belted. so it’s a common thing. I said I’d like to go and ask for an address.

‘Tell you what,’ he says, ‘if you’re free tomorrow, we can drive together into the city and I’ll bring you to what I think is the kinkiest baths of them all. I’ll treat and no strings attached. When we get there, I’ll get you and me both private rooms, and from then on we’re on our own and doing our own things and we’ll send a time to rendez-vous in the coffee bar then then head home. Just dress simple. You’ll get naked when you get there and they give a robe to wear and a towel. you can walk around and check out who’s in the rooms or you can just stay in yours and wait for someone to take an interest. And you can wear that collar which will tell guys you’re submissive and you can even leave your belt on the bed to kind of give a hint.’

“Wow!” I think. “This is too good to be true. But it turned out to be just as he had said. And I had a ball. Well, actually, a lot of cocks and a lot of balls and a lot of spanking besides. After that, the hell with the bars. I was hooked on the baths.”

2. Collared, clamped and weeping

We’ve just arrived at the studio, right on time. Before Billy gets out of the car He turns to me and reminds me, “You know the drill, slave. As soon as we get inside, strip and get down. Ass high and keep it there or I’ll take one of His paddles to your nipples so He can hear how you cry for Me. In fact, I might find a way to make you cry just for the fun of it.”

We enter, and I am quickly nude and humbled the way Master wants me to be. Spike ignores me as usual and brings Master into the other room while leaving this slave alone on the ground straining to keep its ass high in the air the way Master has ordered. Again I can hear them talking but have no idea what they are saying to each other. I reproach my elf , “Who the fuck do you think you are? What fucking right do you have to hear what these Superiors are saying to one another? You have only one purpose right now, and that is to keep yourself humbled and on display the way your Master has ordered. Empty your brain, bitch. Be what you are, especially when in Spike’s presence: property. Nothing more than that.” This pep talk does me a lot of good and renews my understanding of what I am despite those special moments when Master treats me like someone precious to Him. Here in Spike’s studio, my slave identity comes to the surface and I am the least of the least and happy that Master takes pleasure from seeing me so reduced to such a lowly state of being. Dogs get more affectionate attention than I deserve on any given day. Interestingly enough, I find myself wondering what it would be like to be a slave, or rather, a piece of property, during one of Spike’s group gatherings, and hope to find out sometime in the future.

It's a good thing I started thinking that way. Never would I have imagined what would be happening to me in the next half hour or so.

Master and Spike come back to the anteroom where I am groveling on the floor with my ass presented for their enjoyment. I hear Spike speak: “This is a special lube,” He says, “which has ginger as one of its ingredients. Not too much, just enough to make a pig like yours very much aware that its anal channel itself is worthy of humiliating pain. Here, take this plug and lube it up and spread some lube at its opening before inserting the plug.”

Next thing I know, Master is greasing up the rim and entrance to my hole, and almost immediately I feel a slight burning sensation. Master quickly inserts the plug, and sensation fills my whole channel. Not only am I plugged, but I am also glowing with heat that bites into me. I am being fucked with a touch of fire and my moans cause both Superiors to chuckle with amusement. “Mind you,” says Spike to Master, “it is not advisable to use this too often, but of course there are times when a slave needs a special reminder that its body is meant to bear pain for its Master’s enjoyment. It is also important to douche the slave with a soapy mixture before fucking it Yourself unless You wish to add a burn to Your own experience of claiming its ass. Some Masters find that to be highly erotic while others don’t care much for the sensation and prefer the property to be properly cleansed before taking it with their own hard cocks.”

“How long does the burn last?”

“I’ve never timed it my elf , but I would suspect that unless You decide to douche the slave before leaving here, it will still be quite warm and ripe by the time you get it home. Trial and error will let You know how long it will last. If nothing else, it will keep the slave relatively subdued as it enters that type of trance common to well-disciplined slaves.” Now, if you will, let us sample the collars you have selected.”

“I’ve heard that some slaves actually are fucked with spikes of ginger root itself,” says Master. “Yes indeed,” answers Spike, “but it can be incredibly painful if left in for too long, painful enough to cause a slave to safeword. Nonetheless, if a slave is spanked on the ass while the root is inserted, it increases the intensity of the pain of the spanking two or three times as severe. Excellent practice if a Master isn’t really in the mood to do any hard spanking Himself. A few relatively light slaps will usually send even the most recalcitrant slave howling in no time. When you gather with my group, you will see this amply demonstrated since a few of the Doms enjoy making their properties aware of how much they deserve regular punishment.”

“I like the sound of that. I believe that every slave deserves to be punished at all times simply because of the fact that it is such a faggot. It always needs all sorts of discipline.”

“A good philosophy indeed. Let’s try out the collars and these special clamps I wanted to show you.”

“slave, stand. head raised. Hands behind back. Eyes closed.” I get into position. Standing increases the burning bite of the plug and I am already close to tears.

I sense Master standing before me and hear Him making noises with His mouth when, all of a sudden, He spits three times into my face and then invites Spike to do the same. Spike spits even more than Master, and now the spit is running down my eyelids and cheeks and I stand motionless in utter humiliation. Up until now, Master has never really seemed to be interest in spitting at this slave. Perhaps Spike is introducing Him to this form of pleasure, which He obviously enjoys, since He follows Spike and spits some more and now I know I am in for this on a regular basis. I fight back the resistance which arises but Master notices what is happening and proceeds to slap my face back and forth until as last I utter the words, “Thank You, Master,” and sink back into submission. Master Billy is the only Man Who has ever slapped this slave’s face. It is a new form of degradation which this slave realizes it must accept as willingly as any other action Master wishes to perform to demonstrate His complete ownership of His property.

Then I feel clamps being put on my nipples (Well, actually, HIS nipples!). They’re firm, but not nearly as painful as clothespins, so this doesn’t seem like it’s going to be a problem. But then Spike tells Master, “What is especially good about these clamps is the screw-like handles on them. Each turn of the screw clicks, and each click increases the tension. The maximum is ten clicks, and most slaves will either safe word or pass out around the eighth click or even less. Give it a try.”

One click. I feel the tightness.  Two clicks. I grunt. Yes, now it feels like a clothespin. Three clicks. Ouch! Tighter still, as if Master is squeezing the clamp to make it more painful.  Four clicks. I quickly stand up on my toes, trying to somehow escape the pain, as if that would do any good. But Master sees my reaction and taps me on the head, encouraging my willingness to take the pain for Him just to make Him proud of me. Five clicks. Godamn, it bites! I begin whining and can hear Spike chuckling. His chuckling embarrasses me so much that yes, tears starts spilling from my eyes.  Six clicks. “Master, please!” and now I am crying fully like a spanked baby and Je says, “at last! Let your tears wash away our spit from your cheeks, slave!” And indeed, moisture is flowing down my face and dripping onto my chest. I can barely endure this pain any more. Please, please, please don’t click any further, I beg inside. Master touches the clamps again and I am ready to safe word, but this next click reduces the pain level and I realize that He is backing it down for my relief and unending gratitude. But now He stops toying with the clamps and I have no option but to keep letting my tears flow, and the only good thing about this is that I know how much my tears please my Master. I’d bet anything He is hard as a rock. One more click, and the pain backs off more and I would like to shout out my gratitude but know that in Spike’s presence, a slave is never allow to speak unless it is ready to endure a severe whipping.

“Now for the collars,” says Master. “turn around, faggot!” He commands. I feel the leather wrapped around my neck and fastened behind me. This one is very wide and keeps my head held high. Master roughly grabs my shoulders and spins me back around and steps back. He sticks a finger between the bottom of my chin and the collar. “No, this won’t do,” He says. “I really want something it can wear all the time in my presence, but I don’t care for the position of its head and I suspect the collar would eventually bite into the bottom of its chin. One of the other ones would probably be better.” He spins me around again and removes the collar and I must say that I am relieved because everything Master just said is true, and I was feeling it biting into my chin. Briefly, I forget the pain in my ass and on my nipples. He orders me to turn around again and puts on another collar. It feels so, um . . . substantial.

“I like this one,” Master says, “although there doesn’t seem to be much more length to the strap fasteners. I would like something that would make it possible for me to choke the slave and inhibit its ability to breathe feely. Do you have anything that could do the trick?” He asks Spike. “Just give me a second, Billy. I think I have exactly what You are looking for.” Master removes the collar and gives it to Spike, who goes into the back room again, bringing the two collars with him. Shortly He returns. “Give this one a try. Note that it is quite similar to the other one but a bit heavier, which has its advantages because it makes it impossible for a slave to forget what it is.” “Around!” Master orders, and I turn. He fastens the collar around my neck and yes, indeed, it is hefty and a bit weighted. Spike is correct, I could never even briefly forget that I am not free, that I am not a man, that I am not owned. Master fastens it behind me. It is snug but not too tight. Spike feels around the inside and says, “This would be appropriate for ordinary wear. The slave will bear the weight but its breath will never be constricted. Notice, if you will, Billy, that it can be tightened several degrees when You wish to control the slave’s breathing or even cut it off completely until the slave passes out.”

Master tightens it a bit more, and to be sure, now I have to work hard to inhale. It reminds me of when He has choked me a bit with the chain He likes to have around my neck. “You will also notice that there are d rings in front and back and on each side, which offers many opportunities for additional bondage positions.” “Yes, I like this very much. I think this is the one. Turn around, slave.”

I turn around, and while all this conversation is taking place, I am still struggling to keep inhaling. “Spike, help me out, if you will, please and get behind the slave and tighten another notch.” Spike does so and now I can breathe only lightly and am already becoming light-headed. “If you go any further, you will be at the point of asphyxiation, and there is a quick-release tab which can be activated if the slave begins to pass out or even gets to cum if you enjoy playing that type of scenario with it.”

“Good to know, but at least at the present time, I’m not allowing the slave to have any orgasms at all and that will continue for quite some time.” I groan inwardly, realizing that my natural male function is being taken away from me along with every other right and privilege I used to think was normal. Master spins me around again and resets the collar’s tightness to the point where He said would be the usual tightness. Yes it is heavy, but yes, it certainly does have an effect on my understanding of what I am. “This pleases Me, slave,” Master says, and I begin weeping again, this time from relief and joy, more than from any increased pain. Master turns me around again and removes the clamps which causes me to screech again. “Knees, bitch!” He commands. Speaking to Spike, He says, “I’ll take the collar, the clamps, the ginger oil and let me come into the back with you again. There’s a short whip that I had my eye on before.” “Would you like me to fetch it for you so you can try it out before making a decision?” “That would be great, Spike. Thank you.”

While Spike goes in the back Master orders me on all fours. When taking the position, I realize that the collar forces me to hang my head a bit lower. I wonder if Master notices that Himself, but then He taps me on the back of the neck and I know for sure that He is aware of what this collar is doing to me.

Spike comes back swinging something through the air which sounds a bit like the swish of a cane. “Try this out,” He says to Master. I hear the swish and then a sharp bite to my left shoulder and then quickly, one more to the back of my right thigh. I yelp and holler out, “thank You, Master, for whipping Your slave!” Smart move. He stops whipping me any more.

“Yes, Spike, I will take this as well. Let’s go settle up. Slave, stand up and get dressed but don’t go outside yet until I take off your new collar. Only to be worn in the presence of other Masters and slaves. You will most certainly be wearing it when young Mitchell comes by tomorrow.”

He goes in the back with Spike. I get to my feet and put on my clothing again. This started out as a sweet day of relative respite, but has turned to a time of creative torment in ways that I have not experienced before. And, lest I think my mentality is totally that of a slave, I catch myself wondering if Master will wipe my face clean before we leave.

They come back. Master takes off my new collar but does not wipe my face clean. “Go to the car and take these things with you,” He orders.

I leave and go to wait for Him. When He comes out, He’s carrying a small cloth which He uses to wipe my face clean. How I love Him! How I am grateful for how hard He is working to complete my training.

3. Always new things to learn, this time at the whipping post and caged without supper

“Well, you cost me a pretty penny today, alex. More than a week of your pitiful salary.”

“Master, we still haven’t made the banking arrangements to transfer those funds to Your account.”

“We will do that soon, boy. Stop thinking about it. I have it under control. It is no longer your affair. focus your attention on ways to please Me better.”

I must confess that I am waiting to hear some words of praise, but nothing comes forth and it hurts a bit, but then I realize that the only reason it is hurting is that I am guilty of anticipating, of wanting things to happen a certain way. It is going to take a long time for me to get these way of thinking under control. I say nothing, even though I know I should be confessing my resistance to Master, but I am really tired and sore and downtrodden, so I prefer to wallow in my misery. Master doesn’t seem to care. He puts on some music and we ride home in silence.

We get almost home, but Master stops the car before He crosses onto our property. “Do you remember the first time I brought you here and I made you get naked and cross the line onto My property naked and penniless and stripped of all hair and all possessions and of all dignity?

“Yes, Master. Remember it well.”

“And now I want you to get yourself back into the same state of mind you were in that day when I made you cross naked over the property line and all you had was your desire to be Mine and to serve Me and accept anything I wanted to do to you.”

“Yes, Master?”

“Now get out of the car and get on your knees naked and penniless again and subject to My will about all things. And then I’m going to drive the car up to the cabin and I want you to crawl through the dirt all the way up to the cabin and once again beg Me to take you as My slave. Now go.”

I get out of the car and as He drives up the driveway I get down on the ground and crawl naked through the dirt as He ordered me to. it talk quite a long time and I was getting hurt on the stones in the driveway but I pressed forward until I got to the steps of the cabin and He was standing there looking down on me with a whip in His hand, and once again I begged Him. “Master Billy, please accept me as Your slave now and for the rest of my days. Please take me and rule me and discipline me and teach me what I need to learn in order to be the type of slave who can please You in all things, Please, Master Billy, please, I beg you.”

“In order for you to be My slave, you must be naked both outside and inside. Your mind must be as naked as your body, boi. Do you understand?”

“yes Master.”

“No, I don’t think you do.” And He takes His cock out of His pants and He begins to piss all over me. “You are not low enough, boi, you are not naked enough to please Me. You are holding things back from Me. There have been things on your mind since we left Spike’s that you have not confessed to Me, so how the fuck can I accept you as My naked slave when you are holding back part of yourself from Me?”

“I’m sorry, Master.”

“Well, then, tell Me what it is that you’re trying to hide in your mind? Strip your mind naked for me, boi, or you can never truly be My slave. Goddamn it, alex, don’t fucking hold anything back from Me. That pisses Me off and that’s when you get hurt. Haven’t you learned by now that you can’t hide any reaction from Me at all!” And He takes His strap out of His pants and He begins to whip me, everywhere and anywhere with His strap as I scream and cry and writhe in the piss and in the dirt.

How can He do that? How can He know all the time when I’m hiding something?

He takes the hose from the side of the house and hoses me off with the cold water and I holler and cry how sorry I am and please don’t give up on me. “Roll the fuck over!” I do so and He hoses off the other side of me. Get yourself into the bathroom. Clean out your ass, do what you need to do and then get down to the dungeon. Make it quick!” And He lashes me some more as I try to crawl up the stairs and make it into the bathroom. I have to piss and pull out the plug and clean out my ass, and I gradually begin to stop crying. DAMN! I really feel like a true slave right now, and I’m filled with shame because it would have been so easy to avoid all this happening. This is all my fault and I am terrified about what Master is going to do to punish me, but I know that whatever it turns out to be, I deserve it. WE had such a nice day and I fucking ruined it by defying His training.

I hurriedly take care of things in the bathroom, but have to take extra time for a second enema in case Master wants to fuck me, although I think He may be so fed up and frustrated with me that He may not be in the mood for any sexual satisfaction tonight. I have failed again and I am so fed up with it all that I will not be resentful about any punishment He decides to give me. I’m hoping it won’t be too severe, though, not because I don’t think I deserve it but because Mitchell is coming tomorrow and I don’t want to be unable to please Him however He wishes to be pleased.

Finally, fearfully, I finish up, I’m running clear, and I make my way downstairs to the dungeon wondering what is in store for me. Master is seated in His chair, barefoot, and has several different items on the table alongside His chair and I don’t even dare to look there because I am keeping my eyes lowered and will not look around unless ordered to do so. “Approach,”he says. When I get to Him, He unlocks the chain I’ve been wearing around my neck and takes the new collar He bought. “Raise your head and turn around but continue looking down!” He wraps the collar around my neck and fastens it. It is snug but it is not cutting off my breath. He then takes each of my wrists and attaches each one to the rings on each side of the collar. This is a new position made possible by the positioning of the rings on the collar. Nothing else happens. I stand there, back to Him, looking down and so ashamed of myself . “Turn around” I do so. He lifts his hand and touches my cheek tenderly. This is the first tender touch He has given me since we got home and tears begin to flow and I start to blubber. “Master, I am so sorry. I have failed You again. I have kept my thoughts from You even though I knew it would get me in trouble. I am sorry, Master, and beg You to do whatever You must do to help Me stay in slave mode at every moment of my existence. I slipped again, I failed, I hid myself from You, Master, and I know I deserve every punishment You decide to give me. I beg you, Master, not to give up on this worthless slave, but to continue its training so it doesn’t not continually disappoint You the way it has been doing.” Master wipes the tears from my eyes and says quietly, “ten slaps” and proceeds to slap my face hard as can be and I try to say “thank You, Master’ after each slap on each side of my face, but I can’t get the words out for the last three blows and I am sobbing again. My face is on fire and again I know I deserve it. “Feet!” He commands. I fall to my knees and struggle to bend down to His feet in this new position. He helps by raising His foot and I put all of His toes in my mouth. “One at a time, bitch!” He commands, and I begin sucking each toe and cleaning between them, and continue to slavishly bathe His feet with my mouth and tongue and also my tears, because He keeps raising a foot to wipe the tears from my face. He begins to speak to me, and, ashe does, He takes the new small whip He just bought and lightly lashes my shoulders and my back with it. It stings like nettles, but doesn’t hurt as much as I feared it would. Each lash is but a reminder of what I am and how I have displeased Him.

“You still don’t understand, alex, what it means to be a true and well-disciplined slave. I know it’s only been several days, but I am frustrated because you keep spoiling the excitement and fun You should rightfully have as a true slave by the way You continue to think. You cannot hide from me, slave, and you should know that by now. You would be a terrible poker player. Every thought you have is printed on your facial expressions. I waited and waited, but you refused to reveal what I think I’m going to call your “rebel” thoughts. And these thoughts don’t hurt Me or bother Me at all. What does bother Me, however, is your failure today to strip your mind naked and tell Me these thoughts. I waited and gave you a chance to speak, but you kept it all inside and I know you have been beating yourself up over it because once you realize you have failed again it causes you great suffering, far more suffering than I can possibly cause you. I’ll say it again.” He starts to whip me harder and I cry out sometimes. “When you have a rebel thought it ruins the experience from you. Your greatest happiness in your life, boy, is found by being a totally disciplined slave and by settling into that identity. And don’t forget, boy, that you are my slave. Billy’s slave. Slave to the man you secretly desired to worship the very first time I ever paid attention to you. So why allow these rebellious thoughts without revealing them to Me so you can get them out of your system?”

“Kneel up, slave, and speak to Me. Tell me each time You entertained rebel thoughts.”

“Master, when You first spit in my face it took Me by surprise because You have never done that before, but it was not difficult to realize that it was a new way of humbling me. But when You allowed Spike to spit on my face as well, I grew resentful.”

“Good boy.” Now, understand this, because I don’t think I ever made this perfectly clear to you despite the fact that I sent Michael and Robert to use you before I allowed you to see Me. This is the way things are, slave: As your Master, I claim the power to allow any Man, any Man at all, even a fellow slave, to do things to you under my supervision. Just like I am going to allow Mitchell to do far more to you than you might think I will allow. The ONLY exception to this is something you already know; Only your Master will ever fuck you. Therefore, when a man spits in your face, or punches you in the balls, or does anything else as I stand by and witness it, you must surrender to it and accept it as part of the constant punishment you need as a true slave. Now move on, boy. There is more to tell me.”

“Master, when we left Spike’s and got into the car, I thought You would praise me for being a good boy and say nice things to me and I got very disappointed and resentful when You remained silent.”

“Again, good boy. Now: a slave has no right to expect any praise or kind treatment simply because it has been a good slave. That is not praiseworthy unless a Superior decides to praise you. A good slave is supposed to be a good slave at all times. That is expected. Plus, boy, you should realize by now that every single time you behave and you accept humiliation and discipline and you obey and submit simply because you WANT to be my slave, every single one of those times pleases me beyond anything you could possibly imagine because there is no trace of any Dom or Master within you. You could never comprehend how much pleasure I get from being your Master when you are a good obedient and humble slave. Again, alex, you have no right to expect praise or anything else for that matter. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Master. This slave understands and is sorry it cannot fully comprehend the pleasure a Master experiences when He has a good slave at His beck and call and at His feet and at His whipping post, or anywhere else.”

“Next confession, slave:”

“Master, this slave grew angry and was very resentful and resistant when you pissed on it in the dust.”

“Angry, resentful, resistant in the face of punishment your Master decided you deserved. And while you were entertaining these rebellious thoughts, I bet you failed to realize that even in humiliating punishment---and I admit it was---even in the midst of the punishment you were receiving, still you weren’t ready to strip your mind naked for Me until I made a federal case out of it. So therefore, you suffered even more from the punishment than you would have if you had simply submitted to it and accepted that your Master has the right to punish His slave anyway He sees fit.”

“Yes, Master, this slave understands that You have the right to punish this slave anyway and anyhow You see fit at any time, including now.”

“Then, boy, I trust you understand why punishment is necessary now and I hope that punishment will serve to modify your behavior. It is the only tool a Master has with a male slave like You.”

“Yes, Master, this slave understands and is hoping Your punishments will help it modify its behavior in the future to become a better slave.”

“Very good. Then stand up and go stand at the whipping post. And not another word from you.”

With dread, I go there, convincing myself that whatever happens is for my good. I’ve never been at this whipping post before. I don’t fully understand what it will mean in terms of pain and humiliation.

“Turn around and face the post,” orders Master. He raises my arms from my collar and attaches them to hooks on top of the post and then turns a crank to raise me up so that I am forced to stand on my toes. He goes to the side of the room and takes out a long implement that looks something like a cane, but seems to bend like a whip. Uh-oh. I remind myself that whatever is coming is a gift from Master meant to free me from thought-tendencies that are not proper for a truly modified slave. I repeat as a mantra: “alex is a slave and deserves to be punished” again and again.

Master blindfolds me and then sticks a penis gag in my mouth and fastens the straps behind my head. Between the blindfold and the gag and the collar I am rendered cut off from the world of free men.

Then He does something which really surprises me and I grit my teeth and force myself  not to think of anything except the fact that I am bound here to be punished:

“Mitchell is going so view a well-striped slave tomorrow and you will explain to him why you had to be punished the way I am going to punish you. I’m using the penis gag because when it comes to punishment, there are no safe words. And if you do happen to pass out, I’ll pour water over you and continue the punishment when you come to again. And here we go, alex. Let this beating drive rebellious thoughts from your mind.”

I have no idea where He is aiming that thing. I hear a swish and it crashes onto my back. It is a sharp biting pain and again it hits my upper thighs, twice, oh my God, and I repeat my mantra as Master lashes me right again and again and the pain is intense but doesn’t last for long.

Master goes and adjusts the height and I am relieved that I am able to stand on my feet as He lands five quick lashes down my ass, one beneath the other, each one like a bite of fire. I actually try to scream through the gag. And then  . . . silence . . . nothing. I hang there bathed in pain. I start to drift off into a sub space trance, picturing myself  hung at the whipping post, well striped with Master’s lash, knowing I deserved every touch of pain He has given me. I try to empty my mind.

Finally, Master comes over and unfastens my gag and the first thing out of my mouth is “Thank You, Master, for Your discipline.” That sprang out without any thought given to it. That must mean something, no? That must indicate the depths of my surrender. He takes off the blindfold and I look into His eyes and I see devotion and love and caring in them and no more anger or frustration. Master unclips my wrists from the post and helps me move my arms to restore circulation.

He rubs some ointment into my very sore body but leaves the strap binding them on. Then He speaks:

“Hands and knees, slave.” I drop. “Crawl over to your cage and get in. You’re being locked in for the rest of the night. No supper for you tonight either. Hurry and get in there, slave, or I’ll get the strap to help you.”

No! Enough pain for one day, please? I get into the cage. It feels homey for me and I know, at least, that there won’t be any more pain for this naughty slave tonight. Disappointed about supper, but I can handle it. Nothing unusual about skipping a meal. “By the way, slave, I pissed into your water bottle, so if you get thirsty tonight, you’ll be drinking diluted piss.”

That’s all He says to me. He shuts the door to the cage and locks it. Without another word, He goes upstairs and shuts to lights so all I see is the purple glowing, a sight I’m getting used to.

You know, the worst part of punishment for me is how Master goes silent. I hate that more than the pain throbbing all over my body right now.

It is a long time before I finally fall asleep, and I wake myself up quite often because whenever I move I seem to ignite new pain where there was old pain. One thing I keep telling my self is that “I deserve this” and realize that I have really come to believe it.