Seekers

Chapter 4 - Getting Set Up

"Hey, well done. I heard you got a terrific flat." Clive placed the well filled plate in front of him. "We'll have to celebrate. Tom and my treat, we'll go out for a meal on Saturday and then visit a club — I heard they have a fabulous cabaret show at the moment." He winked. "Something to introduce you to the more exotic nightlife of this 'burg!"

Jeff smiled. "Thanks, very generous of you." He hesitated. "I'm going to need to furnish the place, though. I have a few things in storage from my last place, but I'll need a new bed, my old one just wasn't worth keeping."

"Tom's your man then. Tell you what, drop in on his shop this morning, he'll be delighted to sort it out for you -- and, since you're a friend, you'll get a reasonable price as well."

"I can't believe how helpful you've all been. First James at the Bureau, you with the room, then Paul introducing me to Dan and his fixing me up with the flat, and now you tell me Tom can help with the furnishings?" He took a bite of toast. "I can never thank you guys enough."

Clive seated himself and poured a mug of coffee. "We try to look out for people we like. That's all. James often spots guys like us who need somewhere until they know which way is up in this city, and Tom and I do the same. Dan is a bloody good property manager, straight as they come in both senses, and he's helped quite a few guys find their feet." He regarded Jeff over the rim of his coffee mug. "Paul's a good kid, works damned hard and he's had a damned hard life so he's got a few corners to knock off. He doesn't often take a liking to someone, but he obviously likes you or he wouldn't have introduced you to Dan." He paused. "The question really, is are you able to cope with him?"

Jeff stared. "In what way? I like him. A lot as it happens. But I hardly know him at all - just as a nice guy in the Black Cat and then from an afternoon spent with him." He flushed. "If you mean; am I sexually interested, the answer is I don't know. I don't know whether I'm 'Gay' or not. I'm not sure I'm ready to try it either. Coach Wetherspoon, er, did some stuff with me. But it was just sex. Nice, but nothing I really wanted to make permanent."

Clive took a long pull on his coffee. "This 'stuff,' is that why you moved here?"

"Sort of." Jeff's face was burning. "It turns out I wasn't the only guy. There were lots before me and two after ... Someone made a fuss about it, the cops got involved, the newspapers made a big deal of it and the Coach killed himself. One of the other guys tried to do the same and then the hate campaign started. So I cleared out." He chugged his orange juice. "I don't know what I am. Gay or Straight or whatever. I don't want to hurt anyone and I don't want to have to face the sort of shit I got back home ever again. I'm sorry if that's going to upset anyone, it's not much fun from where I am either."

Clive leaned back and smiled. His hand covered Jeff's gently. "It's OK. Take your time and get settled in your new job and in your flat." He frowned. "I remember now, there was quite a scandal over the gymnastics coach who was, they said, 'grooming' guys for his games. You were caught up in that?" He shook his head. "I expect it's left some scars."

"Yeah, a few. The coach was normally pretty careful, he never forced any of us to do things, but he was very persuasive. Always said he just wanted to show us how much fun it was and persuaded us to try things." He smiled. "It was just sex, but it was pretty good sex I have to say."

"So what went wrong?"

"Two things I guess. He had hidden cameras and filmed us - and one of the guys saw the film of himself on a porno website. I think he tried to blackmail the coach, and it ended up getting nasty. Then the cops got in on the act. After that the shit hit the fan big time."

Clive was silent for several seconds. "Hmm, not the way to do anything. I have to ask though. Were you willing to 'play'? You've said it was pretty good."

Jeff stared at his coffee. Finally he nodded. "Yes, I was willing to play. He always treated me gently, even when he had me tied to the bars. He was never rough and never forced me to do anything." He looked at Clive. "Yeah, I liked what he was doing, but I'm not sure which way I want to go."

"Listen up. It's not a choice. We are the way we are. We live with it. I've seen the way you look at Tom, and I've seen you looking at Paul. It took me years to accept that I'm Gay and no amount of wishing it to be otherwise will change that." He poured another mug of coffee. "It's tough, but it's reality. James was right, you're going to need friends here, and perhaps even some lessons. Saturday night, we'll make a start." He stood up. "You'd best get going. See Tom, he'll fix you up with everything you need." He smiled. "And stop worrying. I'm glad we talked, feel free to talk again. I wish I'd had the help and support I have now back when I was your age. It would have made all the difference."

Tom greeted Jeff with a warm smile. "Clive told me he was sending you round." He led his visitor to a desk at the back of the shop. "Take a seat and let's talk about what you need."

Jeff accepted the invitation, glancing nervously around the displays. Nearly everything was way outside his price range. He began to formulate excuses in his head as Tom prepared two cups of cappuccino. "Thanks. Wow, I have to say you've got some beautiful stuff here."

Tom laughed. "Yeah, it is, but that's why we need to talk first." He put the cups on the desk. "I'd like to see your flat before I suggest anything. Can you get access?"

"I think so. Dan said the curtains, carpets and appliances would stay, so I really only need a bed to start off I guess." He grinned. "A mattress on the floor would do as a start if I must. I've a couple of things, like my antique writing desk, my TV and my sound system in storage and will bring them up when I can move in. I've a recliner as well, but it is a bit battered."

"OK." Tom had made a few notes. "Let's go and see the flat tonight, if Dan can arrange it, then I'll have a better idea of what you need and how it can fit." He saw Jeff's expression and laughed. "No, it won't cost you the earth." He waved a hand at the display. "There are a few things I've had on display that are now 'used' and have a few small marks, or need cleaning, which would make them unsalable. I don't like sending them to the dump, so I usually give them to a charity shop." He raised an eyebrow. "Does that offend your sense of propriety?"

Jeff was startled. "No! No, of course not. But," he hesitated, "I don't know why you guys are all so keen to help me." He shrugged. "I guess I'm just not used to people wanting to." He met Tom's eye. "I got used to being an outsider and a loner at home. I'm sorry if I'm causing offence."

Tom laughed. "No, you aren't. Why are we wanting to help? You could say because we know how tough it is to be 'an outsider'." He paused. "When you're ready, we'll be there to support you -- until then, we'll leave you to sort things out your own way. If you want to talk, or you want help, just ask."   

Jeff was still a little stunned by the generosity Tom had shown when he took his favourite seat at the Black Cat the next morning. His new flat would have everything it needed to make it comfortable and at a fraction of the cost he'd thought it would. He looked up as Paul approached. "Hi Paul, could I have my usual -- and today I'll have a Danish pastry as well please." His smile widened. "I think I've won the lottery. First Dan with the flat of my dreams, then Tom and Clive have sorted me out with the furniture." He held out his hand. "And it's all thanks to you."

Paul smiled. "Rubbish. You'd have sorted yourself out without any of us -- especially me." He squeezed Jeff's hand, his touch gentle, but firm and lingering for a moment as he added, "But it's nice of you to say it." He released Jeff's hand. "I'll get your cappuccino and the pastry, then perhaps you can tell me what Tom and Clive have organised."

Jeff found himself reluctant to break the contact and sorry when it was, but smiled. "OK." He watched as Paul's shapely denim clad butt moved away. The man moved with a lithe grace he noticed, almost as if he was dancing rather than walking. Surreptitiously he adjusted his crotch, aware of his own arousal and desire and glad it was hidden. Desperately he picked up his newspaper and tried to drag his mind off the graceful figure of Paul. With a sudden insight, he realised he was going to miss his morning chats with the attractive waiter when he started work in a few days time.

"There you go, one cappuccino and Danish." Paul placed the plate and cup carefully. "So, you said Tom had solved your furniture problem?"

"Yes, he has." Jeff smiled. Then he frowned. "You know, I've been wondering. With all the contacts you've got; why are you having to do all the 'part-time' stuff?"

Paul laughed. "Mainly because I'm pigheaded. Once I graduate though, I have a nice little nest-egg building." 

"Oh. I see. I think." Jeff realised he'd blundered into a gaffe. He smiled. "I start work next week so I won't be able to come here in the mornings any longer." He hesitated, then plunged on. "I'd like to see you though ... I was wondering, perhaps we could meet in the evenings? I know you have your modeling - but perhaps there's a time we could meet for a drink or something?"

Paul smiled. "Usually I spend Sundays at home, just sleeping." He grinned. "My day off everything. Do you work out? We could meet at the gym if you like." He hesitated. "I could get you membership of the one I use, aerobic dance is the main activity, but there is some other stuff there."

Jeff considered. "I'll give it a try. I enjoyed dancing, but I suspect this is a bit more ballet and less ballroom."

Paul laughed. "Great. Do you have a mobile? Want to give me the number? I'll give you mine, but I don't have my phone on most of the time. You can always leave me a message though."

"Sure." He dug out his wallet and pulled out one of his personal cards. "The landline number is my old one, but the mobile and the email are still correct." 

Pulling out his order pad, Paul scribbled his name and number on a page, tore it out and handed it across. "That's mine." He smiled. "I'll organise a temporary membership of my gym for you and give you a ring to arrange a session."

"Grand. OK." Jeff's pulse was fluttering. His attraction to Paul both thrilled and frightened him, his uncertainty about his own sexuality made worse by the surging desire he felt whenever Paul was close. More customers were arriving and Paul must obviously go, so he said, "Saturday, Clive and Tom are taking me out to supper and then want to take me to a club where they say there's a good cabaret. Will I see you perhaps?"

Paul smiled. "Maybe. I'm working Saturday night, but if I finish early I might make it. I know the club they'll be taking you to." He smiled and there was a fleeting touch of Jeff's hand as he turned to go.