His face was red with anger, his eyes were bloodshot, and his breath reeked of alcohol as he screamed at me.
'Where the fuck were you motherfucker?! Sucking dicks?!' he screamed. I cried in pain as he pulled my hair and shook me. I knew the reason. It was because dinner was late. He always got mad over the most ridiculous things.'Fucking gay faggit!' he yelled and slammed my head against the wall. I saw a bright flash of light and another appeared as he threw me against the wall. My head collided against the wall with a loud thud and I fell into a crumple heap. He pulled me back up and punched me on the right side of my face over and over again and threw me against the wall and kneed my gut, causing me to double over gasping for air, and he kicked me one last time before leaving to go somewhere in the house, I didn't care. I sobbed as I began stumbling towards the kitchen. If I didn't cook something quick he'll get mad again. It's was still difficult to breathe, though I had to admit, that was one of the shortest beatings in a while. I guess it's because we were in the living room and he was afraid the neighbors would hear. Slowly, I regained my breath and wiped the tears away, still hiccupping and sniffling as I walked to the kitchen and put on my apron. I needed something simple and quick, so I decided just to make a soup. Quickly I chop up meat and veggies and threw in ingredients into the pot and cranked up the heat to make it faster. I tasted it to see if It was ok, it was fairly decent, and more than edible, not one of my best, but it was still good. I served it into a bowl and toasted some bread and quietly headed towards my father's room. The T.V was blaring the sounds of baseball or foot ball, or god knows what. I knocked loudly and my father opened the door and shoved me aside. I kept my eyes to my feet as I walked towards the kitchen to clean up. My father sat down and slowly chewed on his food while I cleaned up the kitchen. I wasn't very hungry, so I simply placed the remainders of the soup in the fridge and made my way to my room.
'Fucking shit!' I heard my father yell while spitting out food. I quickly turned to see him standing up and hacking the food out.
'Oh no,' I thought to myself and gazed at him in fear. I was paralyzed.
'Can't even fucking cook right, you lazy piece of shit!' he yelled and flung the bowl of soup at me. I screamed as I felt the hot soup burn my body, and another shockwave of pain came as my dad shoved me into a wall as he grabbed his keys. I heard the door slam and I whimpered as my skin throbbed and burned. Slowly I got up and stumbled up the stairs. I had a splitting headache and my body once again racked with pain. I turned on the cold water in the shower and removed my clothes and slowly stepped in. The cold water helped a little, but my skin still stung. I didn't even know it was that hot! I stood there and cleaned myself up and when I got out I once again inspected my body. It was now a routine Blotches of red began appearing on my naked body, adding another color besides black and blue. A tear shot down my face and I quickly wiped it away. I smiled weakly as I looked in my reflection and touched my lips. The lips that Ray had kissed so many times today. My mood brightened as I remembered everything that happened today. I turned off the light and slipped under my covers. I sighed and bit my lower lip. How will things be tomorrow at school?
I woke up and winced. My skin and body stung a bit, and once again, I slowly went through my routine. I always wore long sleeve shirts, an today I wore a turtle neck to hide the marks on my neck. I looked over at my unfinished gloves, winter hat, and scarf. I needed to finish those soon, it's getting really cold, and sooner or later I was going to get sick. I picked up my bag, and then stopped and bit my lower lip. I didn't have a job anymore, and I needed one bad. I sighed and quietly crept out of my room. I walked down the stairs and heard the heavy snoring of my dad. Another night of heavy drinking, good job dad. I browsed in the kitchen for a bit, not wanting to go out in the cold immediately to trudge through the fresh snow and face the icy winds. I had my head stuck in the fridge when I heard a loud knock at the door. I jumped and I swore quietly to myself as I rubbed the tender area of where my head bumped against the fridge, and hurried to the door and opened it, only to have a huge figure barrel into me and swoop me up. I wriggled and squirmed when I realized the familiar scent.
'Ray?' I said quietly.
'Yup,' he quipped while swinging me around. He stopped and held me out in front of him, he was really strong because he was holding me at arms length and I was still hovering above the ground.
'You're really light,' he said with a frown. I smirked and wriggled in his arms, wanting to be down on the ground.
'Just sayin,' he said and hugged me. I hugged him back, hard, and winced a little because my skin started to burn again. I felt like breaking down right there and crying my eyes out, telling him everything that happened last night. He held me there for a while and pecked me on the lips.
'What are you doing here?' I asked him. My voice was always soft, I could never really speak up, and sometimes I could barely get the words out of my mouth.
'To take you to school of course,' he said while nuzzling his neck. I inhaled the scent of his cologne, and held him tighter. He was a lot bigger than me, yet he was so gentle and kind. He leaned his forhead against mine, and I stared into his face with adoration. Slowly, he leaned in for a kiss, and I met him halfway, our lips met and once again, the pain went away and the world seemed right.
'We better get going,' he said with his forehead still against mine with his eyes closed. I didn't want to go to school; I wanted to stay like this, just me and Ray holding each other. I hesitated, and finally unwrapped my arms from him.
'Yea, let's go,' I said. And we walked out into the freezing cold. I shivered as a rush of cold air blasted against my face and my feet began to turn cold as I tramped through the snow. I could feel him staring at me as we walked to the car, and I'm probably sure he was going to nag at me about it. I got in the car and he started it up while cranking up the heater.
'You really should put on a jacket Levi, it's getting pretty cold,' he said while keeping his eyes focused on the road.
'I'm working on it,' I said quietly. Truth was, I couldn't afford much. I had to save my money, plus buy groceries, and a minimum wage job did not leave much spending money.
'And how is that?' he asked, obviously doubting me.
'I'm working on it,' I repeated. I didn't want to tell him that I could knit, despite how useful it was, I was embarrassed of it. We arrived at the school and we parked at the edge of the parking lot. There were plenty of others that were closer, but he chose this one. We stepped out of the car and he made a motion with his hand to beckon me over to his side. When I walked over to the other side, he held my hand and pulled me closer. He quickly took off his jacket and pulled it around me.
'Ray, no it's not cold, I'm fine,' I said in protest. He lifted my arms to pull the sleeves over them. I did not protest in fear that if I did, he would tighten his grip and see that I was in pain. The jacket was warm, I loved it, not only because it was warm, but because it was Ray's. I felt him cup my face in his hands and he looked at me.
'Levi, you always say things are fine when they're not. I haven't known you for long, but I know your habits.' He said gently. I pulled my face away from his hands and looked on the ground. I felt him grab my hand gently and brought it to my eye level.
'I also know you're cold because look at your hands.' He said softly. I glanced at them, and saw my fingernails were starting to turn blue. He gently took my other hand and I watched as my hands disappeared in his. I looked up at him, and he stared down. He leaned in for a long kiss, confident that we wouldn't be discovered by anyone. We stood there for a long time, our bodies and lips together, not wanting to part. I pulled my lips away from his and buried my face into his chest.
'We have to go soon Ray, the bell's going to ring soon,' I mumbled. He tightened his arms around me.
'I don't want to go inside, I want to stay here, with you,' he whispered. I pecked him one last time on the lips and began taking the jacket off. He held my shoulder, stopping me.
'Levi, please,' he said gently. I stared up at him, and obliged. After one last hug, we went our separate ways, him to the south building, and me to the north. Ours school had 2 buildings, the south was older than the north, and they had to expand so they built the north building. The whole day in class I kept thinking about Ray. I even found myself accidently writing his name at one point, and I quickly erased it away from my paper. It was lunchtime, and I gathered my books and weaved through the crowd to reach my destination. I stopped at the double doors and looked up and smiled as I stared up at the brass lettering spelling out 'Library'. I stepped in and let out a sigh as the aroma of books filled my nose. Minutes later, in the far reaches of the reference section, a place where no one ever goes, was where I resided with my nose in a book. This was where I spent my lunch everday, here in the soothing silence, surrounded by one of the things I loved. I never had a group to sit with at lunch when I hit High School, so I went here every day, never coming to lunch, just the library. I've been do this since freshmen year, I remembered what really started it. It was my first day of school as a freshman, and I already hated it. I got lost several times, my locker didn't work properly, my dad terrorized me for that whole entire week before school, I didn't have any friends, and I was just plain out depressed. I got to lunch and picked up my food and walked around, and sat at an empty table. I stared at my food, and began nibbling on it. II sat there, chewing slowly, and I had enough. I pictured myself in my head, a kid eating alone at lunch, what a loser! I began thinking about what others would say. Various insults began flooding into my head, and I couldn't take it. I got up, and threw the rest of my food away, I only at half my sandwich, I didn't feel hungry anymore, I just needed to get out of here.
With tears in my eyes I walked quickly out of the cafeteria and began walking. I didn't know where to go, I just walked. I walked aimlessly for 10 minutes, when something bronze caught my eye. I turned my head, and saw the enormous bold, brass letters, and the double doors called to me. Slowly I walked into the library. It was quiet, and the smell of books filled my nostrils. It was calming, but my body threatened to betray me and let lose the waterworks. Quickly, I headed towards the deepest corner of the library, weaving through the maze of shelves and blinking constantly, trying to hold back the tears. I arrived at the corner, and sat down and started crying. I didn't cry long, and I buried my face into my arms to stifle my sobs. I cried for 5 minutes, and when I stopped, I realized that I could be here everyday, alone, with no one to bother me. It was the reference section, and with the internet, no one seems to go here now. After that, I went here every day with a book or homework, or whatever I felt like doing. I sat there completely absorbed, when I heard a peculiar sound. I immediately realized that it was the shuffling of feet, and it was coming fast. I quickly stuck my head back in the book. I wasn't doing anything wrong, just sitting in the corner reading a book. Ok I had to admit, it was a tad bit strange but whatever. I footsteps came to a halt and I peaked over my booked and blew out a silent sigh of relief. It was just the librarian. She placed a few books, took a glance at me with a peculiar look on her face, and went back to her secluded desk that was covered with books. I began reading again and soon was lost in the world of the book. I was at a really intense part, my nose was only a few inches from the book, and I felt my heart accelerating. All of the sudden, I felt something warm on my cheek and I jumped and looked to my side. The sudden smell of Ray's cologne filled my nostril and I turned my head and stared right into Ray's face with a big smile plastered on it.
'Hey there,' he said and pecked me on the lips. I blushed and quickly closed my book. I felt him scooted me up and soon I found myself sitting between his legs with my back leaning against his and his arms around me. I felt him nuzzle my neck and the roughness of his five o clock shadow scratched against my skin.
'What are you doing here?' he murmured while kissing my neck.
'Just reading, what else?' I replied. The thought of someone walking in a discovering us didn't seem to cross his mind, yea it was the reference section, but one day a person will actually walk in here to see Ray holding me and nuzzling my neck.
'Why aren't you at lunch?' he questioned once again. I felt his arms tighten around my waist, probably seeing if I was to thin or something.
'I'm not hungry,' I said simply. I knew I was, but I didn't want to go into the cafeteria, it always made me feel bad when I didn't have anyone to sit with.
'Did you eat breakfast?' he asked.
'What is this, an interrogation?' I hissed and turned around and stare at him.
'Noooooo,' he said and kissed me playfully.
'I'm just concerned about you,' he said while licking my lips. I blushed again and shoved his face away.
'Why do you always make me blush so much?' I whispered. He grabbed my hands and pecked me on the cheek.
'Because I'm so damn good looking,' he said with a chuckle. I smirked and turned around so I wasn't facing him anymore.
'Egotistical bastard,' I mumbled. We sat there in complete silence with our lips together while Ray made witty comments that always made me smile. The moment was interrupted by the bell, signalizing our time for departure. We stood up and he hugged me and nipped my ear.
'See ya after school,' he said with a wink. I stared at him as he walked away. God how I wanted to be with him all the time. The day flew by quickly and the whole day I could barely concentrate. His cologne was on his jacket and I constantly breathed in just to smell it. It smelled so wonderful and comforting, I constantly daydreamed that day, more than usual, and I loved them. I drifted in and out of my daydreaming, only coming out when the bell rang, then I went to my next period and drifted back in my world once again. At the end of the period I was having a nervous twitch. I desperately wanted to see Ray again. I checked the clock constantly, counting the minutes before I can see Ray again. There was 10 minutes left, and I was wringing my hands and fidgeting in my seat. I have never been this excited before! The new feeling was strange to me, all these feeling were strange. The excitement, the eagerness....the happiness. It was all so strange, I could barely keep up. Ray opened up all these new emotions that have been locked away for so many years, during which all I mostly knew was pain and depression. It frightened me a little, half the time I did not even know how to react. Once the bell rang, I darted out of my seat and into the parking lot. When I arrived at Ray's car, I realized I was way too eager. I arrived there incredibly fast and out of breath, and I sunk into the concrete, gasping with my lungs screaming for air. After ten minutes, I gazed back at the school and there was still no Ray. There were a few students left, but none of them looked like him. I sighed and fished out a book and leaned against the car and began reading. Not long after I began reading, the sound of feet rapidly pounding against the asphalt filled my ear, and I turned around and smiled as Ray was running full speed at me. My smile soon turned into a frown when I noticed, Ray was not slowing down. I yelped as Ray barreled into me and pushed me up against the car and began planting kisses on me. He acted as though he just had a near death experience or something! Finally I wriggled around till my arms were free and I grabbed his face and pressed my lips against his. I heard and felt a long exhaled come out from his nose as we kissed, and I felt a great relief come over me. He parted his lips from mine and hugged me tightly while nuzzling my neck.
'You have no idea how much I've missed you today,' he chuckled.
'Ditto,' I said and pecked his cheek.
'You wanna go to my house again?' whispered Ray while taking a chance of squeezing my butt. I jumped, but then giggled.
'Of course, why wouldn't I?' I said and his smiled and we got into his car. We arrived at his house and we stepped inside. No one was home; his parents must be really be on high demand or something. As I was taking my shoes off, I heard Ray breath in sharply.
'FUCK!' I heard him shout and stared at him. He quickly placed his shoes back on his feet and pulled out his keys.
'Hey Levi, sorry but I have to go for like maybe half an hour ok babe? Feel free to explore!' he said while pecking me on the lips. I did not even have time to respond before he slammed the door and start up his car. I was left in this big house alone without a clue of what to do. Should I just sit down and read? Or should I explore? I was very curious to see what was in this house. It was huge! I didn't see much, the most I've seen was the living room, the stairs, Ray's room, and the bathroom. Slowly, I began walking around the lavished house; admiring the various artwork, pottery, and furniture they had in each room. I was almost done with the first floor, and that took me at least maybe 10 minutes of power walking. I came to one last room. It had double doors and it was closed. Slowly, I opened it and peeked inside, and gasped. There it was, all in it's black musical glory, a grand piano. I rushed over to it and ran my hands over it. It was clean, sleek, and shiny. I opened the covering to reveal the keyboard. My hands trembled from excitement as I reached out and pressed a key. The musical note echoed in my ears and soon, I began pressing random keys, listening to the notes echo throughout the room while giggling. Seeing the piano made me remember my old electric one at home, which reminded me of the song I made, which reminded me of my father and what happened last night. I felt a wave of gloom creep inside and I realized that this was my chance to see what a grand piano actually sounded like. I sat down on the bench and slowly pressed the keys. It was very different from the one I had at home, and it was way bigger. I began playing, it felt awkward, but soon that melted away. I closed my eyes as I listened to the melody, it sounded heavenly. Though it still sounded gloomy, the melody on the grand piano made it seem like a dark beauty, it played beautifully, but it had a dark meaning behind it. In actuality, this expressed my sadness, my anger, my pain. I was oblivious to the world; it was just me, the piano, and the music now.
'Music from the soul,' a voice said, and all of the sudden my world disappeared and I was pulled back into reality. I yelped and stood straight up and caught the bench in time before it fell. I quickly turned to see Ray standing at the doorway with his hands in his pockets. He slowly walked towards me and placed his hands on my shoulders, and I winced little when his hands touched my burnt arm.
'Is this how you truly feel right now, Levi?' he said gently. I shifted my gaze to the ground, and he pulled me into a hug.
'Something happened yesterday, right?' He murmured. He did not ask again, he just stood there with his arms around me, waiting for a response. Without a word, I nodded.
'You always winced whenever I touch your arm today, did he hurt you there?' he continued. I nodded once again.
'Can I see?' he said while starting to roll up my sleeve. I pulled my arm away from him and shook my head.
'Don't look at it, it's ugly,' I said barely above a whisper.
'Why is it ugly? Nothing about you is ugly to me, to me you're beautiful, regardless of your bruises or scars,' he said gently while pulling me into a hug and soon I began to cry. I sat on his lap while I sobbed in his chest. He rocked me back and forth while gently rubbing my back and whispering comforting words to me. I tried to put up and impenetrable fortress to hide my emotions from him, but only to realize that it was full of holes. I finally stopped crying, and I felt his shirt wet with my tears.
'Sorry for messing up your shirt,' I said with a sniffle. He pulled my face up so I was staring into his eyes, and he wiped my tear stained face with his sleeve.
'I could care less about my shirt, all I care about it you,' he said softly and pressed his lips gently against mine. I was so glad I was with Ray, I was glad he was there to comfort me and hold me when I was crying. I no longer felt alone in this world. I had Ray to face things now, and he would be my impenetrable castle, he would be my guardian.
'Thank you Ray,' I whispered when our lips parted.
'It's no problem, I love you Levi,' he said gently. I paused for a long time and opened my mouth and tried to tell him I loved him back
'I..I..I,' I stuttered. I couldn't say it. I just couldn't.
'I think I love you to,' I said finally. I hated myself for this. I hated the fact I couldn't say I loved him back.
'I'm so sorry,' I whispered. I looked up at him and instead of a frown, there was a smile.
'Don't worry, I understand, and besides, it's good enough for me,' he said happily. I felt him slowly touch my arm and he stared into my eyes.
'Can I please look Levi? I want to see how bad it is,' he said with a frown. I nodded and slowly he pulled up my sleeve. I winced at I felt the clothe slide over my shoulder and I heard him gasp. My whole arm was read and small welts began to form, they weren't at all big, but they were still there.
'What did he do?' He asked frantically. I saw his eyes looked a bit glassy.
'He just threw the soup I made for him at me, that's all,' I replied simply. He smiled at me, and I felt his fingers run through my hair and it touched the spot where my head collided against the wall. I winced and he frowned.
'I knew it,' he whispered. I stared down at my lap, ashamed that he knew I was lying. I felt his arms around me.
'It's ok, you don't have to be afraid to tell me, I'm here for you, and I just want to know what he's doing to you, so I don't have to worry as much all the time,' he said softly. I felt a little dizzy, and I wanted to lie down.
Can we go to your room please?' I asked timidly.
'Of course,' he said smoothly, and picked me up and carried me to his room. I did not object, it was comforting in a way, I felt my trust in him building up, and soon I would trust him completely. Slowly he placed me on the bed and plopped down next to me and wrapped his arms around me and threw his leg over my body. Despite how heavy it was, I enjoyed it. His hugs made everything better, and he always made me feel so safe. We laid there in silence, just enjoying each other's company. I laid there with my face in his chest, and the smell of his cologne constantly filly my senses. I swore quietly to myself as I felt my cock hardening. I haven't jacked off in a week and I was really horny. I felt Ray stir and chuckle.
'What are you hiding in your pocket?' he chuckled and grabbed it. I yelped and jump.
'D-d-don't touch that!' I whined. He jerked his hand back and blushed. Finally, it was his turn.
'O-oh, I'm sorry Levi, I didn't mean to,' he said sheepishly. I smiled and patted his arm.
'It's ok,' I said and buried my face into his chest. My cock stayed hard and soon I felt Ray nuzzling my neck.
'You're horny aren't you?' he growled while nibbling my ear. I giggled and wriggled under him.
'Maybe,' I said slyly. He lightly grabbed my chin and pulled it up to his face.
'I think that's a yes,' he whispered and kissed me. His lips were hot and moist and it began to become more passionate. I felt his tongue pushing against my lips, begging for entrance. I hesitated when I parted my lips a bit, then I opened my mouth and accepted his tongue. I moaned as I felt him roll over so he was on top of me. Our tongues slid against each other. I felt his cock growing in his jeans as he grinded his crotch against my. Our lips parted and he stared into my eyes.
'You have a lot of experience,' he said with surprise.
'You're the first,' I panted. He stared at me and smiled devilishly.
'Then you're a natural,' he growled and pressed his lips back into mine. He slowly sucked on my tongue and I breathed out small moans while I rolled my hips against his. I felt his hands slide up my shirt and pinch my nipple, and I let out a loud cry of pleasure and shuddered.
'Mmm your body is so sensitive,' he said with lust as he tweaked my nipple again, making me moan even louder. I felt his hand rub my bulge and soon I felt him beginning to unzip my pants.