I felt his hand rub my bulge and soon I felt him beginning to unzip my pants. His hand slowly lifted up my shirt to expose my toned hairless chest and my erected nipples. Slowly he lowered his mouth on one my nipples and sucked on it gentle, making my chest rise and a chorus of moans to fill the room as his hand teased the tent in my briefs. My body was burning hot and I felt my cock began leaking precum heavily. His skin felt hot to the touch as I wrapped my arms around his neck and slipped my tongue into his mouth, and grinding our hips together. Are lips parted for only a few seconds as he quickly took his shirt off, revealing his wash board abs, large pecs, and thick biceps. He pressed his lipsback on mine, and slowly began kissing along my jawline and then down on my neck as I felt his hand snake into my briefs. I jumped and cried out in pleasure as I felt his hand wrap around the base of my hard cock, lightly brushing the head with his fingers. He acme back up and kissed my lips again, which only slightly stifled my moans. His hand was slick with precum as he stroked my cock, and he grunted as I reached up ad rubbed his chest. He went back top kissing my neck, and I felt his hand release my cock and went lower. My eyes shot wide opens and I finally snapped out of the sexual trance as I felt his wet finger teasing my virgin pucker.
'Ray...' I moaned quietly. He proceeded to plant kisses on my neck as his finger pushed against my hole.
'Ray...Ray!' I finally said while gripping his hand.
'What's wrong,' he growled with lust as he nipped my neck. He drew his precum covered hand in front of my face and licked it seductively, making me blush as my cock began throbbing even more.
'Ummmm...' I began, hesitating. He looked straight into my eyes, trying to see what's up.
'What's wrong babe?' he said, this time his voice was filled with concern. I stared right back and quickly looked away.
'Umm....I don't...I don't want to have sex right now...,' I said softly. I was afraid I upessetted him as he rolled off me and laid on his side, staring at me. I felt him slowly caress my face as we stared into each other's eyes.
'Levi...why didn't you just say so earlier? I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to do ok? I'm not going to force you into sex, I want you to be ready to accept me.' He said as he pulled me close. I closed my eyes as I listened to his heartbeat and inhaled the scent of his cologne mixed with his sweat. It was such a manly odor, and I got slightly turned on. I heard him chuckle as he zipped up my jeans over my growing cock and held me tighter as he planted a kiss on my head. We laid there in silence for a while, just enjoying each other's presence, knowing that we were there for each other, knowing that we were together.
'Hey Levi....' I heard Ray say quietly. I wriggled around and bit and looked up at him, concerned that something was wrong.
'What's up?' I said softly. He looked down and stared into my eyes, I could tell he wanted to know something, the twinkle of curiosity gleamed in his eye.
'When you look into my eyes....what do you see?' he whispered. I inhaled sharply when I heard him ask that question. A lot of things came o my mind as I looked into my eyes, many good things, things that I was afraid to tell him yet at the same time I wanted to. Being with him always made me so confused, I barely knew what I wanted let alone how I feel. Like I said, a lot of this was new to me; I was in an alien world in which I barely knew anything about.
'Ummm...' I started, obviously hesitating. His eyes beckoned me to continue, wanting to hear my response and my thoughts about him. His eyes gave me more courage and soon, I started, picking out the words that seemed right.
'I see...Happiness, excitement, kindness, love, adventure, peace, and......' I hesitated at the last word.
'Go on...' he whispered encouragingly.
'And....hope...' I said in a very low whisper while biting my lower lip.
'What did you say?' he questioned gently. I wasn't sure whether I should repeat what I had said, it was kind of scary actually, confessing these feelings directly to someone that made me get butterflies in my stomach from just being next to him. I attempted several times, when I finally repeated the word.
'Hope....when I look in your eyes I see hope....' I said softly. I heard him gasp and his eyes widened. He stared at me, obviously shocked by that last word, and his eyes began to look a bit glassy. I felt his arms tighten around me and he planted multiple kisses on my lips, whispering I love you in between each one.
'I'm sorry...' I said, 'I'm sorry I can't say I love you back Ray,' I repeated as I began to tear up. He pulled me into a bone crushing hug while pulling me into a long, deep, romantic kiss. His lips were always soft and warm, they felt so nice against mine and they always made me blush a lot. His lips finally left mine and he stared at me with adoration.
'Levi, I understand, don't worry about it ok? We have time for you to work on it,' He said and flashed that godly smile. I shyly smiled back and buried my face into his broad chest. I felt so safe, so secure; he was my sanctuary in this dark world. I felt a tear slip by and it plopped down on his arm. His arms tightened around me and he nestled his neck on my shoulder.
'What do you mean by hope?' I heard him whisper. I laid there, silent for a long time, pondering whether to answer or not. I didn't know why, but I didn't really want to tell him, I was afraid to. Why was I always afraid?! I hated it so much, even when it's Ray, I'm still afraid of so many things. I'm afraid to open up to him, it's such a new concept to me, and I'm afraid if I open up to him, I'll get hurt. I was so confused, I wanted to tell him but I didn't want to at the same time. I could never really reach a solid decision.
'I...' I began. He waited for my answer patiently, his breathing even, his arms tight around me, and his warmth warming the cold darkness in my body. I took a deep breath and began.
'Hope...that things will get better...that there may actually be a chance at happiness....that....I may have found my true love...' I said softly. Tear streamed down my cheeks as I told him this and my body shook uncontrollably. I didn't really know why, I didn't know many things, I never been in a situation like this, I never revealed something as deep as this. Was this real fear? What was this feeling? I didn't know and that frustrated me.
'Babe, babe,' he said while lifting my face so I stared right into his eyes. I shook and hiccupped while he stared at me. Slowly our lips met and quickly, my body stopped shaking, and my tears stopped. I felt a lot better, remembering that I was with Ray, that I didn't need to be afraid, that I was safe. Our lips parted with a small smack, and I found his holding my head in place while he stared into my blue eyes.
'When I look into your eyes.....I see pain, loneliness, fear, hate...but I also see love, talent, kindness...but I can see....you're a bit lost...you just need someone...' he said hesitantly. I smiled softly at him and gently took hold of his hand, giving it a squeeze.
'I have you, Ray...I have you to guide me,' I said as my voice broke a little. He brought out hands up and gave it a soft kiss, then he planted a tender kiss on my lips. Outside the sun was setting, casting shadows all over his room, I knew I had to be home soon, but I didn't want to go home. I wanted to stay here, safe, warm, and happy, in Ray's loving embrace. I stared at the clock, it read 6:30, and every tick rang loudly in my ears. I sighed softly, and gave his hand another squeeze.
'Ray....I have to go home...,' I whispered. His arms tightened around me, and I heard a small whimper.
'Can't you...can't you stay here?' he said gently. I felt his heart accelerate and his breathing became rapid.
'I have to.....my dad will be mad...' I replied with a quivering voice. My body began trembling when I mentioned my dad. Memories of his constant abuse throughout the years, the screaming, the pain, it flashed in my mind for a quick second. Quickly I blinked my tears away and began wriggling around in his arms, trying to get out so I could pack up and get ready to go home. Ray continued to hug me despite my efforts to be freed from his hug.
'I don't want him to hurt you again...' he said softly. With that I laid there, everything was quiet, and the room was almost completely dark. My fear grew as every minute passed, I know I had to get home, I had to be there on time.
'I'm sorry Ray...but I have to....' I said. A hint of anxiety was evident in my voice, and he must have heard it as well. He leaned in for a long and tender kiss. I felt his hand squeezing mine, it wasn't painful, but knowing how much I was making him worry made me want to cry. Reluctantly I pulled my lips from his, and even though the room was completely dark, I could feel his eyes staring into mine.
'I'm sorry...' I whispered to him in the dark. I felt his quickly pull me into another hug and he held my head into his chest, and nestled his chin on my shoulder. Sadly, it was only a brief moment before we got up and quickly got ready. The car ride was silent, but he held my hand throughout the whole entire drive, giving it the occasional comforting squeeze. As he pulled up into the driveway he quickly planted multiple kisses on my lips while hugging me tightly. I knew he was worried, and it was killing me. I felt his warm breath drift over the back of my neck, his hands gently caressed my back; his voiced gently flowed into my ears.
'Remember Levi.....I'm always here....always....' he whispered after kissing me one more time. I quickly nodded and darted out of his cars, with tears in my eyes, and my heart beating wildly. I quietly stepped inside, only the light in the kitchen was on, and I could hear the TV blaring in my dad's room. Quietly, I prepared dinner and served it out on the plate, waiting a few minutes to let it cool. I hesitantly opened the door to my father's room, and peeked in. He glared at me and switched off the TV, shoving me out of the way as he walked to the table. I heaved out a long sigh and stepped up into my room, gently closing the door behind me and closed my eyes. I sank to the floor, keeping my eyes closed, wishing that I could just run away and be with Ray. I sat there, separating myself from reality and just spacing out. Every moment featured Ray, smiling, and holding me while rocking me back and forth. I saw myself smiling and giggling, with the sun shining on us with the gentle breeze blowing over the grass. Slowly, that image drifted away, and I opened my eyes to my room, my empty, cold, and lonely room. I stood up and went to take my shower, quickly finished my homework, and turned off the lights. Before I went under the covers, I took the extra pillow on my bed and placed it under the covers next to me, and after clicking the lights off, I hugged it tightly. I didn't want to feel alone anymore.
For the next week, everything went by quickly, quiet afternoons in Ray's arms, sometimes he would be comforting me after my father abused me, sometimes we would just be holding each other simply because we wanted to. Ray made me happy; he brought light into my dark world and stopped me from cutting. I loved him so much; I wanted to be with him forever. I needed him, his love stopped me from cutting myself, and my scars were still there, but that's all there was, scars. No longer did I press the blade against my skin to see my own blood bubble out of a fresh cut. Slowly, Ray was guiding me out of the darkness and healing my tattered soul, with love and kindness he lead the way out, and soon, I would be normal again.
I sat there in front of the TV, watching an orchestra perform a concert. The music flowed smoothly into my ears, and I sat there with my eyes closed, listening to their sweet melody, and playing in perfect unity. My scarf, gloves, and hat laid complete next to me, all three of them in the color of baby blue. The program finally came to an end, and as the Director bowed, I turned off the TV and stood up while taking a big stretch. I took a few steps towards my light switch, when all of the sudden I heard a tap at my window. I froze there and listened closely. The tapping was slow and steady, but with each tap, it became louder. Now here's the thing, this was one of my greatest fears. Something taps at my window, I go check it out, and it turns out there's a murderous psychopath there wanting to kill me. It was silly, I know, but I couldn't help it. Slowly, I picked up a metal bat that I bought a few years ago with the intention of using it against my father. That never happened, it stood in the corner untouched, till now. Slowly, I crept towards the window, my heart was pounding, and my legs were shaking in fear. I grabbed the string, raised the bat above my head, took a deep breath, and pulled the blinds up.
There in the window was not a psychopath laughing manically, but Ray with a shocked expression. I stared at him, dumbstruck, and I lowered the bat and quickly opened the window and beckoned him inside. He climbed in and gently placed his backpack on the floor and then busted out laughing. I blushed and dropped my gaze to the floor while rubbing my neck. Ray came over and pulled me into a tight hug.
'Haha, babe what were you thinking?!' he exclaimed in midlaughter.
'I thought you were some psycho that was going to kill me...' I replied timidly while burying my face into his chest. His laughter slowly came to an end as he stood there and held me in his arms, letting out a long sigh as he rested his chin on top of my head. I closed my eyes as we began swaying back and forth, his hand slowly rubbing my back while a smile danced on my lips. I felt his hand cup my face and slowly he leaned in for a sweet and tender kiss. He began smiling in the middle of the kiss, and I began giggling and blushed deep red.
'Get dressed...we're going out,' he whispered in my ear.
'Wha...what?' I stared at him shocked. I wasn't quite sure what he said.
'You heard me, go get ready,' he repeated while smiling broadly. Immediately I rushed to my closet threw on a pair of jeans and a white long sleeve shirt. I came out of the closet and rushed past him to the window and stared out of it. I was about to open the window when all of the sudden he gently grabbed my wrist.
'One moment,' he said calmly and pulled me in front of him. He picked up my hat and slid it over the top of my head, and then he wrapped the scarf around my neck, and slowly lifted my hands and slid the gloves on my hand while kissing each one. He held me at arm's length, beaming and staring at me in a funny way. All of the sudden he pulled me into a tight hug and swung me around.
'You're so fucking cute!' he crooned in my ear while I was laughing. He gently placed me back down on my feet and pecked my lips while motioning to the direction of the window.
'You're chariot awaits sir,' he said in a British accent. I smiled and slowly climbed onto a ledge and shimmied down a pole down to the ground. Ray followed and grabbed my hand and rushed me over to the car, taking time to open the door for me and buckling me into the seat before going over to his side.
'Ready for our first date?' he quipped as we zoomed into the city. I stared at him with my mouth hanging open a little.
'Are you serious?' I asked him. He nodded and pinched my cheek. I groaned in annoyance and pouted, making him chuckle as we headed down the brightly lit streets.
'Where are we going?' I asked timidly. I never went out much and even when I did it was often to the WalMart. I stared in awe at the stores that whizzed by, till we finally parked in front of an Olive Garden.
'Gotta start a date with a dinner of course,' he said with a wink while opening the car door. Slowly I stepped out of the car, obviously scared of my new surroundings. Ray came up behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders.
'Don't be afraid little Levi, I'm here,' he whispered in my ear and nudged me forward through the doors of the restaurant. The smell of pasta and soup flooded my nostrils as I slowly followed Ray to a table. We headed for a table in the corner and Ray blushed a little while he pulled my chair out for me. I couldn't help but giggle a little as he tried to hide his face behind a menu while he sat down and nervously as he flipped through it. I picked up my menu and looked through the various dishes that they served. This was also an incredibly new environment for me, I never ate out in this restaurant, well...let alone ate out at all. I was use to cooking for myself and eating alone, not in a busy restaurant full of people and sitting right in front of the guy I've been crushing on for so many years!
I finally made my decision and waited for Ray to decide, I nervously fiddled with my fork when I heard Ray say something.
'Wha....' I began only to have Ray sneak a quick peck on my lips. He smiled happily as he winked at me.
'Just asked what you were gonna order babe,' he quipped by pinching my cheek. I laughed and batted his hand out of the way and hid behind a menu.
'Awww come ooon, don't be like that,' he groaned and tried pulling the menu away from me. I stood my ground and resisted his attempt to pull it away from me, only to have him pull it down just enough to press his lips against mine. I yelped and clapped my hands over my mouth while blushing deep red.
'No fair!' I pouted and crossed my arms while he laughed heartily.
'Oh my god, if it isn't Ray Matelli!' someone shouted across the restaurant. Soon a female waiter appeared by Ray's side and they gave each other big hugs and caught up. She was pretty tall, a bit shorter than ray, white skin, short blond hair, and pretty thin. I shrank down in my seat while biting my lower lip and fiddling while a loose thread on my sleeve. I felt a bit out of place here, and I didn't even know this girl.
'And whose this cute little fella?' she said turning towards my direction. I blushed and dropped my gaze to my lap.
'This....' He said while pulling my chin up and pecking me on my cheeck.
'Is my new boyfriend, Levi' he said proudly and I gave a small wave to her.
'Well he's just freakin adorable!' she cried out and I jumped while she gave me a big hug. Once again, another new concept to me. She plopped right next to me in the booth and placed her arm around my shoulder while pointing a finger in my face.
'Looky here Levi, if he fucks with you just give me a holler and I'll handle him, and if he fucks YOU, well congratulations,' she said while acting a bit drunk. I blushed at the thought of Ray and I having sex, and I twiddle my thumbs while she bursted out laughing.
'This would be my very awkward best friend, Nicky,' Ray said while facepalming himself and shaking his head. She smirked at him and stood up while and socked him in the arm, after that she picked up her clipboard and stood up straight while beaming at us.
'What can I get you guys?' she said while smacking her gum a little.
'You know me Nicky, the usual,' he said coolly while running his fingers through his hair. Nicky smirked and took her gum and stuck it to his cheek, making him go into a minor freak out.
'Don't get so fucking cocky,' she said and turned to me while chuckling a rolling her eyes.
'So what can I get you hun?' she said while leaning forward, obviously anticipating to hear what I sound like.
'Ummm....I'll...I'll have the lasagna,' I said timidly. I saw her slowly inhale with hear mouth opened in a huge smile. Everything else happened in a blur, next thing I knew she was hugging while half to death and saying random babble.
'Hey no assaulting the customer!' laughed Ray while he pulled her off of me. I shrank down in my seat and blushed from embarrassment while twiddling my thumbs.
'Haha I'm sorry, he's just so fuckin adorable!!!' she shouted while pinching my cheek. Honestly I was flattered, and it made me feel pretty good. I smiled a little as she walked away and I jumped when I felt Ray grab my hand gently from under the table.
'I'm not out yet, so I have to be discreet,' he said while smiling sheepishly.
'Sorry for the commotion though, I didn't think that she would react that way,' he said while chuckling. His hand was gentle, warm, and comforting, as he held my hand, my heart began to calm down and I stopped blushing and was actually able to breathe normally. Our food arrived a few minutes later and Ray continued a flow of conversation throughout the meal. I loved listening to his voice; it was smooth, lively, and just plain out sexy, not to mention it made me feel so relaxed and safe knowing he's there. Occasionally he would reach under the table and signal for me to slip my hand under and held his hand while we act casual like we're not even dating. We finished our meal and said farewell to Nicky and as soon as we turned the corner, Ray parked and pulled me into a passionate kiss, his hands on either sides of my face and his tongue teasing the edge of my lips. As soon as our lips parted, he began snickering.
'Looks like someone has a problem,' he said while pointing towards my growing bulge, I blushed and pointed at his enormous bulge as well.
'I'm not the only one,' I said and he pecked me on my cheek.
'I got something planned, hold on,' he said as he started driving down the street. I was curious for what he had planned, and slightly afraid that it was another thing that I wasn't use to, but I was also excited. So far my very first date in my entire life was going relatively smoothly. He drove maybe around 20 minutes, and that's when my eyes began drooping and I began nodding off to sleep. The car was warm and I was full, I felt safe and I was incredibly happy. This, I had not felt in a long time, so I leaned against the window and while staring at the buildings and lights, I fell into a deep sleep.
Slowly, my eyes fluttered open and I shifted around in the dark. I raised my arms up for a stretch, only to have it bump against something plush but cold. Immediately I bolted straight up and began looking around frantically, trying to find out where I was. I felt something warm shift next to me and I looked over and saw Ray peacefully sleeping with his arms around me. I realized we were in the back seat, laying down with a warm blanket draped over us. I swore silently to myself for falling asleep on our date, my first date too!
'Mmm....you awake hun?' whispered Ray, causing me to jump a little. I heard him chuckle and felt him plant a kiss on my neck.
'That was a nice little nap he said with a smile, I blushed, still angry for the fact that I fell asleep on a date.
'You're blushing, I can feel it, and you're probably upset over the fact you fell asleep,' he whispered once again while giving my tummy a small poke. I giggled a little, seeing that I was very ticklish, he began tickling me, causing the car to rock as I wriggled around in his arms laughing till my sides hurt.
'haha...stop...ha..stoooop!' I whined in the midst of laughter. After a lot of effort, I was able to turn around and planted a kiss right on his beautiful lips. Immediately he stooped and I felt his arms wrap around me as we melted together and it got warmer under the blanket. I felt his tongues gently slip in, and our kiss became passionate as I felt his hand move up and slowly run his fingers through my hair. Our legs and fingers slowly became entangled as soft smacks and moans filled our ears. Slowly, I parted my lips from his and a small trail of spit snapped between us. He stared lovingly into my eyes with a twinkle in them, smiling as I felt his heart pounding against my chest. Slowly, he entangled himself from me, and slowly opened the door while gently holding my hand and guiding me out, bringing the blanket with him. We came to the back of the car and he lifted me up and sat me down on top of the trunk before he climbed up and threw the blanket over us and wrapped a arm around us. We stared up at the night sky, dotted with thousands of beautiful stars. I stared at them, wondering if this was the last stop of our date. We rested our heads against each other in complete silence, continuously staring at the stars.
'You know.....this isn't what I wanted to show you....' He said softly without taking his eyes off the stars. I shifted around and rested on my elbows and stared at him.
'Oh? What do you have in stored?' I said while curiosity poked and prodded around in my brain. He laughed out loud as he ruffled my hair.
'Why don't we go find out?' he said while hopping off the car and grabbing his back pack. I found that odd, but I followed anyway.
'On one condition,' he said while rummaging around in his back pack and pulling out a black cloth.
'You have to blindfold yourself, it's a surprise,' he said beaming. I stared at him suspiciously and took a few minutes to think. What exactly was he planning? Once again I was curious to see what he was planning, and agreed to it. Gently he tied the cloth around my eyes and I felt him lifting me on his back.
'You're getting a free piggyback ride, now don't peek!' he said playfully and he started walking. I felt various branches brush past me and I was getting a little scared. The walk was at least 7 minutes, and I noticed that the air was starting to get warmer and humid. Surprisingly, the sound of crickets began filling my ears as we began nearing our destination, and soon a whole chorus of crickets played as he finally stopped and slid me off his back onto the ground. The air felt as though it was in the middle of summer, and I felt something fly by and brush my cheek. I stumbled back and I felt Ray's powerful arms catch me and set me back up on my feet. He rested his chin on my shoulder and his hands began untying the blindfold.
'You ready babe?' he whispered smoothly. I thought for a moment, playing out the possibilities in my head, then came to the conclusion, what could go wrong? I mean I was with Ray, and he's been a great guy, so what's the worst that can happen.
'Y...Yes,' I finally replied. Slowly the blindfold slid off my eyes, and all I saw was darkness, when I realized my eyes were closed. Chuckling, my eyes fluttered open, and my chuckled stopped, and instead, I let out a loud gasp.