I heard the doorknob turn, and the door opened.....
'Hey Levi you al....'
I stared at him wide eyed with my shirt in my hands, paralyzed with fear. He stared back in horror.
'Oh god...Levi, who did this to you?' he whispered. Quickly I tugged the shirt over my body and pulled the sleeves to cover my wrists and quickly moved past him.
'No one,' I told him. I realized that I was stupid and should've just said I got mugged or something.
'You're lying! Someone did this to you!' he said, starting to raise his voice a bit. I turned around and looked him in the eye.
'No one did this to me, I just fell down a rocky hill and that's it!' I began shouting, well talking louder than I normally do. I wanted to get out of here, away from him, I wanted to get out before I cried in front of him, before he realized that I don't have a normal life, before he realizes my true feelings, before he realizes that I had feelings for him. I picked up my bag and book and quickly made it towards the door.
'I have to get home, I got something do,' I said quickly and I began opening his bedroom door. I felt him grab my wrist and a searing pain went through my arm and I winced and gritted my teeth. I felt his grip softened but he still held my wrist.
'Who did this to you?!' he shouted, obviously angry.
'I told you already,' I retorted. I could feel my voice rising.
'Rocky hills do not have the hands to choke you!' he yelled back.
'Why do you care?! Why?! It's none of your business and you barely know me anyway!!!' I yelled. This was the first time I yelled in a while, and I realized tears were streaming down my cheeks. He looked at me surprised, and released his grip and stared at me. I quickly turned around and opened the door, and I felt him grab my arm and all of the sudden I was jerked into his arms as he pressed his lips tenderly on mine. I felt my heart accelerate as I stopped breathing, and my tears stopped as well. My hands were placed against his chest as I felt all my muscles loosen and I felt his arms tighten around my thin body, and I no longer felt anymore pain. Our lips parted and I stared straight into my eyes.
'Who did this to you?' he whispered. I pulled away from his eyes, and stared into his chest.
'I got mugged when I was walking home from work the other day.' I said softly.
'You're lying,' he said immediately and I felt his hands cup my face and pull it up to where I was staring back into his beautiful brown eyes.
'Who did this to you?' he said more firmly, but still gentle. I stared at him and began shaking. I never told anyone before and I was frightened. Frightened by my father. Frightened that he would find out I told someone somehow and he would do something worse than beating me. I was afraid he would kill me. We stared into each others eyes for a long time, and I felt my eyes brimming with tears again.
'My father...' I said softly. I heard him suck in some air and he placed his lips back on mine. His lips felt warm, soft, comforting. He parted from my lips and used his thumb to wipe away a tear from my eye.
'And this....' he said and gently pull my wrist to eye level and pulled back the sleeve to reveal my cuts. I winced and I closed my eyes and turned away and made an attempt to pull my wrist away. His grip tightened a notch and held it there, waiting for my reply.
'Did you do this to yourself,' he said. I could hear his voice breaking a little, and I looked at him to see his eyes were starting to fill with tears.
'Yes...' I whispered. He dropped my wrist and pulled me into a tight hug. He held me there for a while, I loved it. The smell of his cologne filled my nose and I buried my face into his chest while he buried his into my neck. I felt a few tears land on my shoulder and I felt his arms tighten around me. He led me to his bed and laid down, and patted the spot next to him and I crawled back into his arms, and he stared into my eyes for a few seconds before I pulled away and buried my face into his chest. We laid there for a while, not speaking at all, just holding each other. I wished it would never end. I felt safe in his arms, like nothing could every hurt me ever again, and his body was so warm and it smelled so good, the warm fuzzy feeling I had when I was near his was never as intense as it had been now, I felt...happy.
'Levi?' I heard him whisper.
'Yeah,' I replied softly.
'Promise me that you'll tell me the next time your dad hits you, please,' he said giving me a squeeze. I bit my lower lip as I began thinking if I should. There wasn't much he could do right? Besides, he knows already so there shouldn't be a problem.
'Ok,' I said.
'Thank you,' he said and planted a kiss on my head. I began rethinking what had just happened in the past 45 minutes. It was all going to fast, and I was shocked that his was actually real. This was happening. Me with my crush, the one I moonlighted after since freshman year, the one I constantly daydreamed about, the one person that made me happy besides my mother. Suddenly my thoughts came to a screeching halt. How did he know I was gay?!
'Ray?' I said softly.
'Yea?' he replied. His voice seemed incredibly loud due to the room being completely quiet.
'How did you know I was gay?' I asked timidly. He began laughing and nuzzled his face into my head and planted another kiss.
'Wild guess,' he said and grinned broadly.
'How did you know I had a crush on you?' I asked.
'Well whenever you're around me or I compliment you on something, you tend to blush a lot, and you try to hide it, but I pay attention enough to know and sometimes see you're cute little face going red,' he replied with a chuckle. I stared at him, surprised.
'I really suck at hiding things,' I said with a sigh.
'Noooo, you just suck at hiding them from me,' he said gently and this time pecked my lips. I looked into my eyes and I looked away quickly. Despite the fact of all this happening, I still couldn't look him in the eye, but I mean he even kissed me already1 My first kiss! I smiled at the thought of that and blushed a bit at well.
'What are you blushing about,' he said playfully. I was surprised at how fast he seemed to warm up to me, as though he'd known me for years.
'N-n-nothing!' I said with a small smile.
'Was it the kiss?' he said slyly while tilting my chin so I was staring at him. I felt myself blush even more and he chuckled.
'You want another?' he said playfully. I pull my head away and returned to his chest, but he pulled my chin back up.
'I think that's a yes,' he said gently and gave me a long a deep kiss. It was warm and soft, I relished his lips against mine and smelled his minty breath as our lips parted and he let out a long sigh.
'You know how long I've been wanting to do that?' he said with a smile. I stared at him, confused.
'Since the first time I saw you in sophomore year,' he said with a big grin on his face. I stared at him, with my mouth hanging slightly ajar. He stared at me and frowned.
'Something wrong?' he said, obviously concerned.
'well...' I began, and hesitated. For 2 years we've been wanting each other. So much time wasted, but that doesn't matter right? I with him now, that's all that matters. I look back at him and took a deep breath.
'I've had a crush on you since freshman year,' I said softly. This shocked him as well, his eyes widened and his mouth opened, and closed, and he began stuttering, trying to get some words out.
'Fuck.... Oh well, you're here now, I'm happy with that,' he said and kissed me again. Every kiss sent an electric current through my body and made me feel giddy all over. He smiled and leaned his forehead against mine and he stared into my eyes. I closed my eyes to avoid his gaze, and soon I drifted off to sleep.
I woke up, and everything was dark. I was confused and I felt something heavy on top of me and began wriggling under the enormous weight that was on op of me. It was warm, and it smelled familiar.
'What the fuck is going on?' I wondered. I couldn't see anything, not to mention I was still half asleep. I remembered having a dream though. It was wonderful, I dreamt that Ray held me tight and kissed me. I frowned in the dark, it was all a dream. I blew out a long sigh, and then concentrated on the enormous weight on me. I wriggled under it and tried lifting it. I felt it moved at bit and then I heard someone breath next to me.
'What's wrong?' I heard someone say. All of the sudden everything came flooding back. The bruises, fight, the kiss, everything! I laid there breathless, and my heart began beating faster. This is real. It's really real. Ray switched on the lamp next to his bed and looked at me and smiled.
'Evening sleepy head,' he said and pecked my nose and nuzzled my neck.
'Evening?!' I yelped and squirmed under his arms. He tightened his arms around me and threw a leg over my body for extra measure.
'What's wrong?' he said gently.
'I gotta get home, now!,' I said still wriggling under his arms trying to get free. I leaped off his bed and gathered my bag and books. He got up slowly and stretched and I stumbled towards the door. I turned around and saw him walking really slowly laughing. I smirked and ran back behind him and began pushing him foreword.
'Come on! I gotta get home and start dinner!,' I whined. We got to the doorway and I snapped out of it.
'That was a change in personality,' he said with an odd look on his face. I stood there and shook my head. 'Never mind that! Go go go go!,' I said quickly and pushed him forward again.
'I got a better idea,' he said slyly. He grabbed my arm and slide behind me and scooped me up and began carrying me down the stairs. He stared down at me and smiled broadly and pecked me on the lips, and I felt myself go beet red.
'You're so cute, including your two personalities, those are adorable!' he said with adoration. I looked away and twiddled my thumbs. He carried me al the way to his car, it began snowing, and the trees were covered with frost and the only light came from the street lamps. We got in the car and soon we were zooming home. The car ride was quiet, but I could feel him taking glances on me. This was all happening so quickly, I was extremely happy about it though, but it seemed strange, very strange. I bit my lower lip as I began thinking. He warmed up way to fast to me. He kissed me only a few hours ago, and he didn't even ask me out, yet he acts as though we've been dating for a long time. I stared out at the window, watching the buildings whiz by, and jumped when I felt him grab my hand. I turned and stared at him. He smiled back and looked down at my hand, and then back at me. His hand was much larger than mine, and had a slight callus to it, but I liked it. It was gentle and comforting. He drove the rest of the way to my house holding my hand, giving it the occasional squeeze. When we pulled up to the driveway, he turned off the car and we both took out our seatbelts. Hesitantly I placed my hand on the handle. Even though I was about to get out, he still held my hand, and he wouldn't let go. I looked up at him, and he stared back. His eyes were a bit glassy, and his facial expression was filled with concern.
'You sure you wanna go in? You can stay with me tonight..' he said quietly. I stared at him in amazement. An invite to stay the night already? Damn!
'Don't worry, it'll be fine,' I said, managing a weak smile. I knew things weren't going to be fine. The lights inside were on, and it was dark already. Today I was going to be hurt, one way or another, I was going to feel some kind of pain. I felt his hand on the back of my head and he pulled me into a kiss. We kissed for a while, his tongue tried a few times to slip through, but I don't really want to go there yet. It was my first time even kissing, and I felt like I wasn't ready for tongue yet. Just as we parted our lips, I felt his tongue dart out and lick my lips. I stopped breathing as I felt my face go red hot. His lips were still only inches from mine, his breath lingered in my nose, and I loved it.
'You're blushing again,' he said softly. I didn't say anything and I felt him cup my face into his hands, and brought it up to where he was staring at me straight in the eyes.
'I love you Levi, I know, it's kinda quick, but I can't help what I feel. I just wanted you to know, I really love you.' He said softly. I stared back at him, not sure of what to say. I was speechless, but as much as I wanted to, I couldn't bring myself to say it, so I had to improvise.
'I...I think I love you,' I said sheepishly. I heard him chuckle and gave me one last and long kiss before I went inside.
'Don't worry, I understand, let's just give it some time. Take care ok? See ya tomorrow.' He said while hugging me. I stepped out of the car and looked back one more time. He gave me a wave and I stepped inside my house, only to feel someone yank me inside and roughly grab and pull my hair back so I was staring straight into my father's face.