Not a Normal Counselling Session

Message from the Author

Please leave a comment and let me know what you think, I would love to write more if people are interested as I need an outlet for coming out and understanding my own feelings and desires.

I hope you enjoy and future chapters will appear in the near future :)

Chapter 1

‘How does it feel?’ asked Elijah as he reached to get his coffee from the machine in his office. The scent of coffee and the steam from the mug filled the room, as he moved his lips over the edge of the mug and took what I assumed was his first sip of the morning. ‘What do you mean?’ I asked with a certain hesitation. ‘Well, how does it feel not being able to express those feelings with anyone’. I felt a deep blunt fuzzy pain from within my head, I had experienced it several times before. My eyes tensed and I looked up at him, ‘it’s… lonely… I know that my wife loves me but it’s hard for her to understand how my feelings could affect our relationship…’ I closed my eyes in confusion and let out an awkward laugh that quickly turned into an uncomfortable posture to hold, ‘I’m not sure what I want anymore’. I’d experienced these feelings towards other men for just over a year now, I was raised in a religious household where the concept of being gay would have been stamped out. I wasn’t even sure that I was gay if I’m honest. I just knew that I had a want to be touched and held by another man. I’d first had these feelings about a year before I started these counselling sessions and today was my first day back after a month. Elijah’s face remained as calm as it always was, except maybe for when he would smile and make me laugh after I’d said something stupid. ‘Well maybe we need to work together to find out what you want’ he said.

Elijah stood up and bent over his desk to take a book out of the top drawer, I’d never noticed how tight his trousers were until then, they practically arched like latex around his legs and butt but I wasn’t about to start complaining about it. As he made his way back to the seating area, he moved his chair to sit beside me at the table. ‘This is just a book of some ideas that may help you work out more about yourself, I’ve found it useful for a lot of my clients’. ‘Oh okay, I’m guessing…’ I paused as I ran my hand over the red covering. The book was still warm from the heat within the draw and I could still see the fresh prints left from Elijah’s fingers on the leather. ‘You’re guessing?’ Elijah said as he sat down. ‘Nothing… I mean it looks like it’s got paper inserted and stuff’. ‘Oh I see’ he replied with a calming smile, ‘I made this book myself. Do you want me to start?’. He slowly reached across my legs, took the book, and parked it against his groin. ‘Right, so let’s see… we’ve already spoken about this part… so how about… ah okay… so… have you ever felt physical attraction towards a man before?’. ‘Urm, I guess’ I replied with a flustered tone looking at his feet. I was still very new at talking openly about these feelings in front of others, and I still found it hard to say the word gay. ‘Tell me about it’ Elijah asked. ‘Well… I’ve recently… I mean for a little while now, been thinking more about how men see me… and I’ve seen a few men that I urm…’. I paused again, it was so hot in the room and I felt like I was falling apart. ‘That you’d like to touch?’ asked Elijah. ‘Yes… well no… I mean… does that make me seem bad?’. Elijah smiled again ‘no you can explore these new feelings without feeling bad, how would you like to touch them?’. This was way out of my depth but his smile made me giggle uncontrollably as he seemed to get some pleasure from throwing me in and out of my comfort zone. ‘Ha ha… urm… well I’d like to hold them and have them hold me and touch me?‘. ‘Do you mean like holding hands, or more sexual touching?’ ‘Both’ I said with confidence, but I knew that one was definitely more on my mind than the other.

Elijah stood up and lent back over his desk again, at this point I was struggling to think straight. It was as though I could feel a mountain of sexual tension pouring over me. I wanted to touch him, not someone random on the street. But then again, maybe I didn’t, maybe it was just all this talking that was affecting me. He looked good bending over. And I did have an urge to hold him from behind, to lick his neck, to stroke his groin. But I couldn’t do that, there’s no way I was doing that. 

‘Have you ever thought about meeting someone?’ Elijah asked as he sat back down ‘to hold and touch you?’. ‘Well… no… I’m not sure that my wife would understand?’ I replied. ‘Why don’t you think she’d understand?’, ‘Well, I don’t know, I just don’t think that she would’. Elijah smiled and moved his chair closer to me. ‘Well, do you want to tell me about what you want, and maybe I can help?’. I stared, with a level of hesitation directly into his deep brown eyes, and he looked directly back into mine for what felt like just slightly too long to be normal. ‘I presume you mean we could just talk about it’ I said with another awkward laugh to try and avoid the obvious topic. My lips were dry but the back of my mouth began to salivate. I’d never felt this way at the mere mention of what I wanted. ‘No of course we can just talk’ he said with a calming tone. Just talk! Of course, that’s all he’d meant. But the embarrassment hadn’t stopped my hard dick from pushing up against the edge of my shorts. I could feel the wet pre-cum dissolving into my underwear as I covered my hands over my groin to try and hide from any further embarrassment. Elijah looked down at my hands. ‘Shall we try something a bit different? Maybe some wordplay. You close your eyes, I’ll say a word and then you say the first word that comes into your head’. I licked my lips to try and regain my composure. ‘Okay, that sounds… urm great’. I closed my eyes.

‘Okay, let’s begin… Hold’, ‘Arms’ I replied. ‘

…Bed’, ‘Man’.

‘…Kiss’, ‘Tongue’.

‘…Taste’, ‘urm… I guess cum’.

I felt a soft warmth on the right side of my body as though I could feel a light brushing against my shirt. ‘Okay… that’s quite an intense set of thoughts’. He was right, they were intense. I could feel my dick throbbing uncontrollably trying to escape my shorts. I shuddered slightly as the heat of the room was making my shirt wet and I now realised that the light brushing on my right side was Elijah’s arm as he had moved his chair closer to me. ‘Let’s continue, he said in what almost felt like a whisper’.

‘…Cum’, ‘Swallow’. I felt his breath against my neck.

‘…Lick’, ‘Oh yes… I mean not me… I mean… urm… oh fuck… urm… Chest I guess’.

‘Aha’ he chuckled quietly. ‘Your doing fine, just trust me’. I let out a shuddering sigh. I was practically a mess. I could feel my chest constricting and my nipples hardening as his words rolled down my neck and fell like warm rain on my groin. He placed his hand lightly on my arm. At this point, I felt like I could surrender everything to him. He was in control, but that’s what I wanted. He moved closer now calmly whispering almost directly into my ear. I could feel his steady breath and the moisture from his tongue.

‘Spit’, ‘Anal’. He began to move his hand down my arm onto my hands.

‘Stroke’, ‘Uhh Balls’. He moved his hands from my groin and ran them against my thigh. I could barely keep my eyes shut. I gripped my cock in an attempt to hide what was happening. But part of me wanted this more than anything, as I opened my legs apart giving him almost complete access to myself.

‘Touch’, ‘Oh fffffuuu’.

He ran his hand off my shorts and onto my leg. At this point, the heat had gotten to me his hand slipped up my shorts like water across wet sand until his thumb hit the top of my groin. His hand moved to sculpt the inner side of my leg so that his thumb could arch over the tree that was growing between my legs. With a calm methodical movement, his index finger wrapped across my ball sack and slowly tightened its grip. 

I wasn't sure whether this was appropriate for a counselling session. Hell, I'm still not even sure whether what he was doing was legal. But I wasn't about to stop him. In fact, my cock was crying out as it was being dragged across my shorts getting larger and larger. With his hands gripping firmer, I was losing any control I had. He not only had me in the palm of his hand, but for all intents and purposes, he owned me at this moment. My hands hesitantly surrendered my crotch, and as I did they instinctively went to the clasp of my shorts. The metal of the clasp was cold and hard, my fingers teased the metal edge as the throbbing veins running beneath his hands urged me to slide them apart. This was turning out to be much more than just another counselling session.