Finding My Perfect Ending

Laying in bed with my arm draped over his naked body, “Come on babe 10 more minutes please” I beg as I try to position myself on top of him so that he can’t escape from my clutches. “Some of us have to go to work you know, we can’t stay in bed all morning because we get in at 2 am” he laughs as I try to grab hold of his smooth firm butt that I love so much.

“Fine… but that isn’t any way to treat me” I laugh as I snuggle back into bed watching him put his PJs on to go into the bathroom and take a shower. Laying with morning wood and having the sexiest man alive leaving me is tough to deal with right now when I would love to be ploughing his tight smooth hole and then having him return the favour instead of him having to go to work.

Life hasn’t been the smoothest for us with our ups and downs but for now, everything is going well between us as I watch him walk out of the room and into the bathroom. I sleep for a bit longer but the morning sun cracks through the curtains and I get up and find my shorts and put them on to go down and get some breakfast.

“Morning Liam, how did last night go?” rubbing my eyes tired from the barely 4 and a half hours sleep that I’ve gotten as Ben’s dad asks me pouring me a cup of coffee. “Not too bad, the gig was really good and just late finishing up,” I say as I get the coffee into me rather quickly and sit next to Ben.

My friendship and then romance with Ben hasn’t ever been easy, to say the least between my background with my terrible family life, getting into trouble in High School and then as a young adult with the same sort of problems it was tough. There was a time where I thought Ben and I were done but we came through it and with the love and support of so many people it’s been amazing to think how far we’ve come.

Sitting there next to my amazing fiancé who organised for these gigs around the place has been fantastic and let me work on my music a lot more, helping write and produce songs that are getting noticed around the internet. “Anything on the calendar this week work-wise?” Richard asks me as I start to make toast.

“I’ve got 2 shifts at the store this week, Wednesday 9-3 & Thursday 2-8,” I say making toast as I can’t help yawning.

Even though I’ve moved in with Ben 6 months ago and it was only meant to be temporary until we got our own place, I can understand how awkward it must be for Richard at times walking past our bedroom and seeing us together given how conservative it is and Ben is his only son.

Ben heads off to work which leaves me with his Dad sitting at the table, our relationship has normalised a lot since coming back with Ben but something always sits differently between us when he’s not around. I don’t know whether that is me being paranoid or the truth but we’re in a good place so I don’t want to waste it.

Richard picks up his jacket and says goodbye to me as he heads off to work as I sit there looking out at the backyard and the Apple Tree that means so much to both Ben and me. It’s getting well into autumn so the weather is getting colder, but that doesn’t bother me as I go out and spend a few minutes sitting underneath it.

“Wish you were here to see how amazing our boy is now,” I say looking up at the sky talking to the woman who was the only mother that I truly ever had despite not actually being my mother at all.

Even though I have my own biological mother, she was anything but a mother to me spending every night with a different man and then putting a lock on my door when she had a “boyfriend” coming around although I knew that each man was really there to pay for sex with my mother.

Ben and I were totally different in how we grew up but from the very first day of school, we just got each other as best friends and he was my protector when things went bad. I sit out there thinking about how even though Mum tried to put me first but really the only proper mother that I have had.

I haven’t spoken to my mother in a good few years because I had tried to get away from the problems that I have had with her and the background trying to make a fresh start with things with Ben and the people who I consider my true family.

Though since moving in with Ben and proposing to him and us talking about starting a family, I really want to re-connect with my mother but I’m having doubts about it and as much as Ben is a loving guy, he is trying to stop me because he wants me to move on.

In my mind, I really think that trying to find her is a bad idea because she never accepted that I could be friends with Ben and the help that they gave me she always thought that they were looking down on us and in particularly her parenting.

I head back inside and have a shower, which is trying to wake me up from a lack of sleep after another gig last night which without Ben I wouldn’t have been able to schedule and get more and more bookings for.

After the shower, I head back to Ben’s room and lay on the bed humming in my head trying to come up with a new tune but I drift off asleep for a little while after only getting 4 hours of sleep. I text Ben to see how his day is going after I wake up and I get my guitar trying to work out some music for some new songs that I want to write including one for our wedding day.

A couple of hours pass and I decide that I want to go and find Mum, I have no idea where to look for her because we haven’t seen each other in quite a few years because subconsciously I blame her for all the issues I went through because what was I expected to do when I had to hang out and do “favours” for Mum and her “friends” growing up.

I get into my car and drive to where I grew up, trying to see if there is any semblance of Mum being in our first house but of course, it’s somebody else living there now even though it still looks like the dump that it did when I grew up there. Sitting outside the house for a little while, makes me realise how lucky I am to have escaped that life.

Trying to think of all the places where she could be is hard because I haven’t seen her in years and chances are that she could be dead somewhere because, with no other real family around, it’s easy enough for a drugged-up slut to fall through the cracks and just become a Jane Doe who overdosed and is in some unmarked grave.

Ben rings me to see how my day is and of course I don’t tell him that I’m out looking for Mum because I know that he would try and talk me out of it which is why I had to ask Josh for help and even then that felt weird because as much as he is an amazing person, the feelings between him and Ben is a touch awkward for me.

“Yeah, I just went for a drive trying to get some inspiration because that song is just not coming together and I really want to debut it at the audition in a couple of weeks,” I say thinking about how Ben was able to get me an audition with a music producer in London to try and get an album going even though I don’t think that I’m good enough.

Getting off the phone with Ben, I feel bad about lying to him after all the lies that I have told him in the past and after promising to be an open book but at the same time, I can’t handle him telling me to stop looking for my mother because I won’t feel right about making the full change to my life unless I at least get to speak to her.

Sitting in the car, I flashback to times as a kid where Mum would try to do good things for me and as much as I hated everything that she did, I always loved her because she protected me and tried in a very flawed way to try and do the best that she could for me.

I remember one Christmas, all I wanted was a Lego set that Ben had and was never able to make unless I was there to do it with him (well more for him). I remember Mum saying that she couldn’t afford to get me anything that Christmas and I accepted that because most Christmas’ I had to rely on presents from Ben’s mum.

Waking up one morning, I remember walking out on Christmas morning and not only seeing a proper Christmas tree but some presents sitting under the tree. There was a colouring-in book and pencils, a couple of books that still had their price from the second-hand store but I remember a big box that had the Lego City set that I wanted and knew that she went out to get for me.

I never fully appreciated how much it would’ve cost for her to do it given that she could barely scrape together enough money for the rent, bills and food for us for the week. My feelings about Mum always turn from anger to sadness and frustration because as much as I blamed her for all my problems growing up.

Heading back home, not really achieving anything which is probably what I thought I would do, it’s all about trying to make the effort of finding mum. I text Josh who has been my sounding board because he had been trying to deal with his own issues with his family, I’ve been really using his advice because he gets the situation that I’m trying to get into.

Back at home, I’m sitting in the living room playing the Guitar when Ben comes in “Hey babe, how’s the writing going?” he asks as I’m sitting there just playing random bits of music as he kisses me on the cheek. “Not too bad, still just struggling with it you know, something just doesn’t seem right about it still”.

Ben looks at me as I put the guitar down “Still? I thought you were a natural at this” he says teasing me about how normally I can just make up song lyrics and a tune on the spot. “Yeah, well I’ve never had such a high-risk moment to get things right”.

Standing up and holding Ben in my arms I get a cheeky grin on my face “Your Dad said he wouldn’t be home until late tonight didn’t he?” I say smirking as Ben shakes his head at me laughing. “Don’t shake your head, you owe me after ditching me this morning when you could feel what I needed.

Ben smirks and although he tries to deny that he wants to just go upstairs and get naked in bed with me, I know that is what he really wants to do and after putting my puppy dog eyes on, he finally relents and a shoulder massage does the trick.

I strip off Ben’s shirt and rub his smooth body, trying to make sure that I am massaging him as I try to stay away from kissing him. Although that fails and we’re kissing each other as he strips my shirt off and starts massaging my smooth tattooed body as I feel his hands running down me as we kiss.

Heading upstairs, I strip his pants off and eagerly sit on the bed as I feel his hard cock in my hand as I move my mouth over it and start sucking it slowly, giving it the attention that it deserves. Slowly I move my tongue around his shaft, as it disappears down my throat and Ben throws his head back moaning as I suck it.

As I suck, I feel Ben starting to take control of my head as he holds it and starts thrusting into my mouth as I gag with the force that he uses as he skull fucks me.

After a few minutes, I lay back on the bed as I feel Ben climb over me and start sucking my leaking cock, slurping up the pre that I’m leaking. This morning I wanted to fuck Ben’s smooth hole but right now all I want is for him to dominate me hard and I feel him lift my legs onto his shoulders as he rubs his cock against my hole. The teasing is making my cock leak so much that I’m already trying not to blow a load.

Ben finally after what feels like forever pushes his cock inside my still tight hole and the massive thickness of his cock, squeezes me open and feels so good even though it hurts right now. Ben starts thrusting inside me and I can’t keep my cock from blowing a massive load as he only just starts to fuck me but I enjoy him fucking the cum out of me.

My load spreads across my chest as he continues to slam my prostate and fuck me deeply. Moaning I feel my body pulsate with every thrust and push that Ben has and he keeps going inside me even after I feel his fresh white load filling me up.

Despite cumming inside me, he keeps fucking me as I moan louder and louder and even though we hear a noise, we don’t stop until he pulls out and we hear his Dad’s voice calling up the stairs.