Dick in Law

 I was on my knees in front of my brother-in-law in the empty Gents.

Get these fuckin things off me, shouted Dick, they’re fuckin stuck.

With a bit of an effort, and a few squeals from Dick, and a bit of a ripping noise, I got the speedos off over his thick swollen knob.

He breathed out lustily with relief as his cock swung out, released, and slapped about a bit. Jeez it nearly took my eye out.

Fuck, he said, I thought my cock was going to break off. My fuckin blood supply was off.

The speedos were now stuck on his tanned hairy thighs, like a bright yellow belt. There was a rip right enough.

Not much point in me telling my brother-in-law that there was no problem with the blood supply to his cock, otherwise it would not be standing up so big and hard, and that the blood was pumping as normal in his nine inch whopper.

It was dancing about, clearly relieved to be free of the speedo. Jesus, it looked like it had grown since its confinement.

Dick looked down on me, now grinning.

What the fuck, get on with it. My knob’s as tight as a virgin’s cunt here. Ryan, for fuck’s sake, just suck it. Bring back the feeling. It is fuckin numb.

I did as I was told. I liked the familiar feel of it in my mouth, the comforting juicy texture, the knob reaching for my throat. Fuck, the pre-cum was up, out, and running, like warm syrup. Yum, yum.

We were having a grand family holiday, no mistake.

A month earlier if anyone had told me I would be on my knees in an airport Gents in the tropics, sunburn stinging on my shoulders, Dick’s fingers grabbing my hair hard, and his cock squirting down my throat … I would have laughed out loud. And if anyone had told me that Jack, he with the fabled whoppa of a cock, would show me what’s what … but fuck I’ll make you wait for that bit.  

 

I had not been expecting to go on holiday with Jo and Dick, or with Penny and Jack, but that is what had happened.

A month before, I was out shopping with my sister Jo, or rather we were having lunch, and a drink, and then shopping with any time that was left over. I met her once a month or so to do this, and the pattern was always the same.

Jo would be late, sit down, tell me she felt crap and fat, and that she was just going to have a salad, a very small wine spritzer, no, make that a mineral water, and not talk about Dick – and then she would go on to have something like a starter, a lasagne, a dessert and half a bottle, maybe an extra glass to finish off, and talk about Dick all the time.

Things had been calm since her Birthday night in Bar Capri and my brother-in-law’s return to his husband duties, via fucking me on my by now semen spotted sofa.

Yup, Jo confirmed without a blush, they were back to sex every night, seven nights a week, and thrice on a Sunday, morning, noon, and night. Dick was a new man, feckin insatiable in bed (or on their new kitchen island) she said, and she now had him where she wanted him, improving all the time.

She was starting to call him Richard, which she thought was more classy, and less likely to cause giggles. She had practically got him to promise to get all his body hair waxed off in time for their next sunshine holiday, and he was on a diet, no drinks allowed. He was in and out of the gym all the time, sex time with her permitting, and Jack Dixon was going with him, getting the pot belly off too.

I was a bit dismayed at this news as was partial to Dick – sorry Richard’s body hair and Jack’s pot belly too, which I imagined was a very furry landscape indeed.

They were all heading off to some surefire sunny tropical resort, with their other couple pals, Mike and Sue, and Jo said she needed me for advice re Richard’s wardrobe. She was so over that stuff he had worn to Turkey last time.

We found ourselves in one of those big name trendy wee shops in the mall, looking at polo shirts and swimwear. Drop dead cool shop staff were smiling, assuming I was the one who wanted the expensive wear. I was looking at cool restrained navy swim shorts and cool restrained witty tee shirts. A young tall black man named Justin according to his name badge was telling me they were very on trend and perfect for me, with my physique.

I had a sudden image in my head of my spunk splatting on his tight black abdomen, could not stop myself.

Justin smiled at me as if he knew what I was thinking.

Jo called me over. She was holding up a pair of very tiny speedo type numbers. They were bright canary yellow. Maybe bright budgie yellow was more like it.

You must be joking sis, I said. Dick will never get into those.

What do you mean? They’re cool. She was waving them now like a flag and the shop staff, Justin and Myrtle, were hovering. I wonder if Justin could see me in those?

I dropped my voice.

Jo, Dick will never get into those. He just will not fit in. You know. He might as well wear a yellow ribbon. And heck, look at the ticket. That’s one helluva expensive pocket handkerchief.

He will look great in them, said Jo, believe me. If you’ve got it, flaunt it, and he’s got it, let me tell you Ryan, and anyway, he is getting all that disgusting hair off before we go, so he will be all smooth and sophisticated. Can you imagine what Jack would look like in them?

Jo made a face and laughed.

And yes, I could imagine what Jack would like in them with his groin forest escaping and his big cock squeezed to fuck. And poor Dick stuffed into a pair of yellow speedos, you must be joking, no place to hide, no smuggling of his big budgie possible. Was my sister having some sort of revenge on the male sex?

The boys needed decent coverage, especially as they were of the well-endowed variety. I picked up some Swedish trunk shaped ones as a compromise. Just as expensive, more material for the price.

Richard would look real cool in these, I offered. Discreet.

Jo looked at the price tag and agreed they were OK. Justin hovered.

We had a little discussion about what size Dick took. He was definitely not a medium anything, but the sizing, Justin explained, ensured a comfortable fit.

He looked me up and down as if my dick was modelling them already.

I coughed and told him they were for my brother-in-law.

Jo laughed.

Of course they are, she laughed, Ryan is too straight for any of this stuff.

I blushed.

She bought the whole range, at eye-popping prices. Then grinned and bought the canary speedos too. They came in a special (tiny) bag of their own.

I shook my head. You should have held back on that wine, sis. I’ll take that credit card into safe keeping.

What about you Ryan? You fancy a pair, maybe in baby blue? Bet Nicky would like that.

No way, I laughed. But I am looking forward to the holiday snaps, I told her. I fuckin was.

Yeah, Nicky. So that night after Bar Capri - I had spent late Sunday afternoon with big furry Dick balls deep in me, then after he had gone I had dabbed the spunk off the sofa more or less successfully, had a shower and another Bloody Mary and invited Nicky round for “coffee.”

He was knocking on the door practically before my hair was dry. Ah wee Nicky. He was eager. I had changed the bed earlier so we skipped the coffee and rolled around in the big white expanse of that.

As I had imagined he was a kinda suck and wank guy. Although he had no hair on his chest he liked what I had on mine, not too feral he said, not like that Jack, and he definitely liked what I had down below. It was good for my ego to be with a guy who was smaller than me, unlike those big fuckers Dick and Jack. My cock had recovered from the session with Dick and the solo orgasms which had come before during the day. I think the roast beef dinner had been good for my testosterone.

Nicky was one damn fine sucker but not a swallower. My spunk streamed out of his lips and down his smooth chin, and fuck, that was kinda sexy too.

Just before midnight, he decided he had better go home, Monday morning in the office etc. I walked him home or at least part of the way and for all the world we looked like sweethearts at the end of a fun filled weekend. Like twenty first century gays we kissed on the street as the buses passed by.

I could not sleep that night, despite all that sex and alcohol, and was channel hopping in my briefs with a bowl of nachos, when I got a message.

It was Dick. Two words. Miss you.

 

I did get to see Dick regularly after Jo’s Birthday and Bar Capri. I was the uncle to their kids of course and I had my duties. I took them to parks and museums, ate ice cream, walked the dog – all while their parents had quality time, Jo’s words. I gather that meant Dad ensuring Jo got the multiple daytime orgasms she required for a satisfactory marriage.

One day there had been a mix up and I brought my nephews home unexpectedly early, and there were shrieks from the first floor, and Dick padded slowly down the open plan staircase barefoot in one of those ridiculous Sumo wrestler dressing gowns, hanging wide open off his chest, and barely long enough to hide his half jutting cock. No sign of Jo who was no doubt on her back recovering from her climaxes and her Richard’s climaxes and looking forward to her next round.

Dick had winked, and one of my nephews had started sniffing the air. So had the dog.

Dick made a face at me and shrugged. He knew I knew the smell of semen when I smelled it, especially his.

I offered to take the boys out to the park, and Dick said thanks and gave me a hug, and the smell of him and the sight of the sweat running down his hairy front was too much for me. I had a hard-on then and there, hoping my nephews did not notice.

I ushered them and the dog out again and my last skimpy glimpse of Dick was his rear view skipping back up the stairs, fuck I could practically see his arsehole.

Anyway, my life went on like that. When I was alone with Dick for whatever reason there was no mention of what we had shared, no dirty jokes, no regrets but also no verbal invitations for more.

Dick would say things like – that’s a cool shirt Ryan, and he might go behind me and pull at the collar while I protested, till he could read the label. And he would press hard against me, and because he was a big man anyway, even when flaccid, I could feel the length of him pressing and the push of his balls, and especially if I was in shorts, I would get turned on. And have to go to the loo for a wank and be careful where I sprayed.

And he would ask me politely about Nicky and how things were going. I wondered if he wanted to know details of the sex we were having or if Nicky’s equipment was up to his standards, or if I came as hard for him as I did for Dick. But fuck, maybe I was imagining all that.

Jo invited Nicky and me around as a couple for dinner a few times, and Dick was very attentive to him, acknowledging his role in the family now, which heck I was not even all that sure about.

I bumped into Dick one of those evenings on the landing on the way to the loo.

Your Nicky’s a good kid, he said, with a smile. Is he being good to you?

He arched one of those dark, very natural looking, but I knew to be trimmed, eyebrows. His shirt was unbuttoned a little too much, and at the table Jo had called him Richard and that he needed to button up as it was so common.

You do not think I’m common, do you Ryan? You like this look yeah?

Sure Richard, I smiled, I like the look. Suits you.

You mean you think I am common then?

He took my hand and lifted it into the space on his chest where the neck was wide open. He rubbed my fingers up and down in the hair.

I swallowed.

You still going to get this waxed off, I murmured.

Jo says so, he replied, but not all the family agrees I reckon. I’d like a second opinion. He rubbed my fingers harder, then pulled them to the side so my tips were on his nipple, buried in its thicket. It was of course, very stiff. I had learned quickly he liked his nipples licked and sucked. I bet Jo did not bother with that.

I swore under my breath. Fuck, were we gonna make out now, yards from our nearest and dearest?

A door opened. I could hear Jo and Nicky laughing together, probably some office joke.

Dick sighed.

He kissed me and stuck that big thick tongue of his as far down my throat as he could manage. We both were in chinos that night and they put up no defense against the hard lengths of our cocks. Jesus, Dick was hard, and fuck knows so was I.

Then he pulled away and sighed again.

I have to do the cheeseboard now, maybe later, eh, he said, and off he went.

I looked at the bulge in Dick’s chinos as he turned away and fuck fancied that wedge more than a bit of cheddar.

I held Nicky’s hand under the table, and Jo and Dick noticed and exchanged aw cute expressions, and Dick reached over and kissed Jo on the cheek. Nicky was over the moon, the poor wee fucker.

In bed that night I pounded him into the mattress as if possessed by the power of Dick and poor Nicky told me off for being too aggressive and macho. And he meant it. Ha ha. But fuck what a load I shot.

A week passed and I got a call from Dick.

Hi, it is Richard, he said and laughed. I need you bro.

He was at home. Jo was with him. She had the tin of foam and the lady razor out and was threatening to trim him all over.

Jo’s doing what, I guffawed. Is she on the wine? That’s gonna take all night! She will need a bigger razor than that to get you smooth.

Yeah, but the thing is, you know what your sister is like, getting at me, and fuck, your sis says – no shave, no holiday, and you know in the meantime, no sex. Shave or strike, no sex, no sun.

What about you help us out Ryan? You’re a dab hand with the clippers, Jo has always said that.

He dropped his voice.

You know bro, I do not trust Jo with the razor, but I’d trust a man to do it. You know, get up close and personal.

 I did that sort of thing myself with trimmers and a steady hand. I am not in the Dick and Jack hirsute club but I’ve got a healthy growth all the same.

Please bro, pretty please, said Dick.

Then it was my sister on the phone. It sounded like she had grabbed it off him.

Good evening brother, she said, in a fake posh accent. Well you’ve heard the story now. My husband Richard is a hairy man. I want to go on holiday to the sun with a smooth one. End of story. Result – happy wife, happy holidays.

I see.

Get your gay ass around here will you and bring your clippers. I’ll open a bottle. Hey, Ryan, before you go – have you got any of that hot wax stuff for his bikini line?

I heard Dick howl in the background.

When I got there the pair of them had fallen out. Jo was sitting on the sofa well through the bottle of chilled white, eating peanuts and watching TV.

He is in there, she said, and gestured towards their downstairs bathroom. Sort him!

Dick was there indeed. In his jockstrap. Fuck, he was hairy, not that it was a big surprise, given the intimacy of our relationship and the sheer amount of time I had spent gazing at his hirsute body in all its glory.

Did you bring that fuckin hot wax stuff, he asked.

No way, I laughed, that was a joke. But I do have my clippers. How about we clip just enough to keep Jo happy and call it a night. I am sure she really does not want you to be a shiny smooth baby – then you would not be Dick would you? It is not as if she does not know your body by now?

OK bro, but she is calling me Richard now, and I am thinking maybe Richard has a hairless chest.

Come on, I said, sit down there, and let me have a go. Jo, I called, what number do you want on Richard’s chest? You know, for the clippers?

Zero, she called back.

I reassured Dick and whispered, no zero on these, we’ll give it a go, maybe just tidy it all up, make it a bit less …

Masculine?

Bushy maybe. Here we go, I switched the button, the buzz came on.

I had found my calling. Lord, I ran my fingers over Dick’s chest, through the thickets of hair, the curly bits, and the springy bits and the thick bits and the thin bits and the trail bits. I pushed aside the hair and touched his nipples (as previously mentioned – very big) and lingered a mite too long.

Yeah Dick, I said, I think I know what to do. Tidy. Male. Attractive. Touchable. Tempting.

Fuckin smooth, called Jo from the sofa, I said fuckin smooth.

I shook my head at Dick, do not worry.

And I did it. Dick sat in front of me in his jock strap. I thinned him out. I clipped him closer. I got rid of the stray hair and the curls out of control. I rediscovered his nipples and what a sight they were. You could see his fucking six pack for god’s sake. You could see his fucking belly button. The treasure trail was more like a trail now, not so much a prairie.

Fuck, he looked hot.

I feel naked, said Dick, and shivered as if it was winter.

Relax, I said, but you are gonna have to be really naked now. You need to drop those jocks.

I went over and closed the kitchen door, calling out to Jo, gonna get buzzing intense now, but no need to worry.

Dick dropped his jockstrap. He stepped out of it, picked it up, and clutched it like a rosary.

I gulped. Not that I had forgotten what he had down there, just that the lighting in the kitchen was a little bright, and I had never got the drink that my sister had offered.

You know Dick, I am going to have to touch it, you know, get a grip on it, get it out of the way of the blades.

Grip away bro, he replied. Keep a steady hand, eh?

No jokes but Dick did need a trim down there, especially if he was gonna wear those yellow speedos on his holidays.

In fact it was a quick hand job, a bit of buzz here, a bit of buzz there, a gentle stroke of his balls. And of course the fucker looked even more impressive with more of the hair gone, not bald like a baby, a grown up man with a big dick and a generous, but not excessive amount of dark hair.

God the length and thickness of him, and those balls were honeys, I could kiss them.

Was he responding to my attention? Was he bigger than when I had switched on the clippers?

Fuck Dick, I said, and took his knob in my mouth. I had n’t even switched off the clippers.

Bro, he breathed, as if taken by surprise. You don’t need to do that you know, not that it aint welcome.

I said nothing. My mouth was stuffed with his growing prick. I had a lot of spit in my mouth now, and it was spilling out my lips down my chin.

Dick was making little grunting noises, obviously keeping it quiet, or trying to, clutching the jockstrap in his hand, and now clutching my head too.

Fuck, his cock head was choking me, and the rest of him was now in my fist. I ran my spare hand over his clipped stomach and even up to his clipped nipples.

He swore.

Yeah, yeah, he said. Yeah, take it.

Somewhere in the background I heard the clippers cut out, start again, then cut out again.

I licked his balls, felt the bristles there now.

Jeez Ryan, he gasped.

He thrust forward with a moan and suddenly whoosh - shot into my mouth, a load and a half I struggled to swallow.

What are you boys up to in there? I am coming in for another pinot grigio.

I’ll bring you one now darling, cried Dick in a strangled kinda voice. I am just finishing in here.

I swallowed and swallowed again.

Dick was frantically getting into his shorts.

Get up, he said, stick these in your pocket quick.

He handed me the jock. I remembered now I had not yet clipped his ass.

I switched off the clippers at last and Dick took a fresh bottle from the fridge through to the living room.

Well!

I heard Jo’s voice from next door. Then she was calling me through.

My sister was smiling.

Who’s a clever boy then? I always thought you had a vocation as a hairdresser, not just because you are queer tho, no offence. Oh my Richard, grrr, he is just so sexy now, not like a trucker anymore or something from the zoo. Dick – get Ryan a drink.

The chilled wine washed my mouth clear of Dick’s tasty sperm.

Penny is gonna be so jealous, said Jo. She wants Jack to be smooth too and he is such a cave man about it.

I laughed and crossed my legs, hoping my erection was well-disguised as I was sitting opposite Jo.

Don’t think my clippers are up to Jack, I joked. Lawn mower maybe.

Jo was running her fingers over Dick’s chest, not quite so hairy, but still a real man’s chest. She trailed up and down his front, explored his navel. It was almost obscene. And horny as well.

She reached down and sneaked a peek under the waistband of his shorts.

Her eyes widened in surprise.

My my brother Ryan, you are clever.

Delicate work, Jo, delicate work, and all for you, sister, I said, hoping there was no spunk left down there. I imagined Dick was well shriveled by now.

She kissed me at the door when I went. Dick waved at me from behind her back, and winked his puppy dog wink.

When I got home Nicky was on my sofa unexpectedly. He had let himself in and reminded me I had not answered any of his texts. We had an early night. In bed I remembered Dick’s jockstrap in my jeans pocket.

In the morning he asked where my clippers had gone. He needed to remove the four hairs on his chest he said.

 

A couple of days later Jo was on the phone. To the point as always.

Ryan – you and Nicky want to come on holiday with us in three weeks time? Sue’s broken her leg skiing and Mike’s staying at home. I’ll send you the link to the place. Can you get the leave?

The holiday was all booked, three couples in a villa on the outskirts of some cute historical village, a pool, a market, a couple of nice restaurants, a club.

Gay friendly it says, Jo laughed. Just think of all those black boyz. I know I am. I’m packing my MILF costume.

Nicky could not get the leave, ironically because Jo was going, and the office needed one of them on a big project, but anyway he said he thought we needed a rest. I was getting a bit too male apparently. And he did not want to spend too much time with those hairy straights, all lager and soccer.

I really did not recognize Dick or Jack from that description, but heck, I fancied a rest too. Maybe Nicky would appreciate me when I got back.

I thought about that Justin who was still on duty when I popped back to that cool clothes shop and purchased my very own pair of baby blue speedos.

Good choice - this year’s shade, said Justin.

I could imagine what they might look like snuggling on his dark skin and got more cheerful re the idea of the holiday.

He held up a pair of jocks, very white and tasteful.

Think these are in your size sir. Handy for the holidays.

I smiled and bought them too, though really thinking of Justin modelling them.

And so we jetted off to the sun, two straight couples and myself, and the straight contingent included a man who had fucked me. What could possibly go wrong?

 

Nothing did go wrong. We had seven days of sun and swimming and spicy sausages and shrimps and siestas and – well somebody else was having sex, as I could hear the mating from at least one of the straights’ bedrooms after nightfall.  I had a look at a couple of dark eyed lookers in the village, but heck I had brought a big book to read and pretended I was the intellectual type.

There were outings and hikes and some boat trips for those who wanted them. But mostly we lay about the villa and drank and sent Dick to the supermarket for more wine and pizzas.

While Dick was away on that jaunt with Jo, and Penny said she was going to catch up on the soaps, Jack and I went on a quiet hike, mostly through the woods, but with the sun still coming through the trees, till we got to a spot where the cliffs rose up and the river had made pools. It looked like the perfect swimming spot on a hot day, and quiet too. Everybody else must have been at the beach. Or at the supermarket.

Jack did not say much, but that was OK in a party where Jo and Dick, and Penny were very loud and spoke all the time. I wondered if Jack, like me, was actually enjoying the peace and quiet. There was lunch in our bags and a bottle of white wine in mine, beer in his. We stuck them in the river to cool off.

I needed to cool off too and took off my tee. I am in good shape, I am lucky. I saw Jack looking at me from under the brim of his baseball cap. He shrugged and pulled off his tee.

Fuck he was hairy. I was surprised any rays got to the skin. All over his front but on his shoulders too, and on his back. You could have combed the hair there.

I kinda laughed. He looked at me.

You think I’m too hairy too, eh? He said with a straight face.

No way man, I said. You are what you are.  I admire you for standing up to Penny – now that’s really something.

I laughed.

But hey Jack I can tell you’ve lost that pot belly, so Penny must be pleased about that eh? You’re looking really good mate.

You think so, he said and slapped that hairy but flatter stomach and grinned, pleased.

Yeah, Jack, just like you looked when you were 16 and the captain of rugby at school.

You remember that?

Sure. I spent a lot of time watching.

Did you? But you were not into sports were you, wee scrawny guy who played chess I remember.

Yeah, Jack, but I was into men, remember.

Oh yeah, he replied and went silent.

I remember you watching me. I used to say to Dick who is that little faggot who is always hanging around. Sorry about that language, Ryan. And Dick, said, you’ve got a fan that’s all. He has heard you’ve got the biggest penis in the school. You used me about the sports field watching and I never saw you even kick a ball.

I used to watch you on the rugby field Jack all the time, Dick too. And then hang about the swimming pool too. You were a great swimmer. And fuck you were those tiny little trunks and everybody at school knew what you were famous for …

Jack nodded. I was. But …

But what?

You would n’t remember. You were too young.

He took off his cap, wiped his bald head, and stuck it back on.

I stopped swimming.

An injury was it?

Not exactly. Hey, has n’t Dick told you this? Ask him, he was part of it too.

His face was as red as fuck, and not just from the sun.

Hey, I am going to have a dip now, he said, standing abruptly.

He had long shorts on, which he dropped, along with the cap, as he got to the edge of the water. He had the stupid red speedo things underneath, so there was a very good view of his teddy bear arse as he lowered himself into the pool.

You OK Jack, I called out after him.

Sure, he said, and turned his head back and gave me a nice smile. Just a long time ago that’s all. Coming in?

The pool was cool and deep and fragrant from the surrounding bushes and with the sun beating down on us it was quite close to perfection. We paddled about and swam on our backs and exchanged occasional comments and chat and one or two jokes. I was liking Jack more than I had expected. He seemed a bit more than the thick ox Jo talked about. Of course I had a soft spot for his physique and for what was hidden from view between his curly thighs.

Afterwards we lay on the grass amidst the wild flowers, so fucking idyllic, and drank our beer and wine and ate the fancy sandwiches we had got in the village.

You see Ryan, it was like this, Jack said suddenly. When we were 16 Dick and I had a relationship with the Head Boy. Harry Bullock. Remember him?

I gulped, choked on my salami and cheese, and spluttered. I had not seen that one coming.

What? Fuck me, I did remember him. Tall and blond. Memorable, but had only been at the school briefly. He was Captain of the swimming team, a county champion.

Fuck Jack, are you saying he, gulp, seduced you?

Jack shook his head.

Nope. We, Dick and me, seduced him. He did not want to, but we, fuck, won him over. You can imagine how easy it was. Harry Bullock was queer of course. Is it OK to say queer these days Ryan? Is that respectful? But we pushed him into it, both of us did. Well, you know Dick, what he’s like, all flirty and teasing and full of hormones, and I just went along for the ride. Not that anybody forced me. What Dick and me did we did together. Harry did not stand a chance.

I was speechless. It all kinda made sense. The way Dick was with me, the way Dick and Jack were together.

What happened to Harry?

He went off down south to university.  Father of five now, believe it or not.

You hear from him?

Once in a while. He came along to that BBQ Dick and Jo had last year, don’t you remember?

To my shame I did not. I had insisted on taking Winston along. Winston had been my squeeze that summer. All the moms had been jealous and took me aside and asked me for clues re his vital statistics. Dick I remember had been a bit dismissive and Jo had quoted him as saying it was quality not quantity that counted. But maybe there had been a tall bald man there with a jolly wife. There were always jolly wives at Jo’s gatherings, she seemed to know them all.

So, all’s OK with that then?

Yup, said Jack and lay back, so that the leaves were dappling and making a pattern on his hairy front.

Yup, he said again, but sometimes, you know, sometimes, I remember all that, and times we had, the three of us. Yup, the three of us, you know what I mean.

He sat up.

But hey, then I filled up Penny with my teenage hormones and we got Emily and the rest is history.

That’s a nice story, Jack. I wish I had known.

But fuck I think you did know Ryan, the way you look at me. The way you are looking at me now. The thing is, Ryan, I love Penny, I love the girls, but they all think I am one dumb fucker, nobody talks to me, nobody touches me anymore – not even Dick, but you know what he is like. When he had that bad spot with Jo recently he asked me to give him a hand job for a favour, just like the old days, and fuck I was all worked up for it, but fuck, he was going through this limp phase, so it was all over before we got anywhere with it and he never even kissed me …

Jack, I murmured, you poor poor boy … you need a man to appreciate you … and there’s a lot of you to appreciate …

I did not expect Jack to be a good kisser. I did expect him to have the biggest cock I had ever seen in real life or at least locally. On both counts I was very pleased.

I looked down at him, the thickly hairy torso, just this side of chubby, the navel hidden, the fur below it leading to the most beautiful awesome bulge in those silly wee pants. The outline of him was clear as day, a thing of tempting beauty.

Ryan, he said, I am sorry if I treated you badly at school, if I called you names, you know. I was a real dick.

You certainly were, I laughed, in more ways than one.

Jack laughed too.

He reached down into the tight waist band of his pants. A mass of hair escaped. I could see him thickening.

Fuck, Jack, I said.

Yeah, he said, his blue eyes wide. Do whatever you want, there’s just us here. If you want to that is.

He smiled shyly.

I just reached out and stuck my hand in the red speedos, it was not very difficult, and out popped little (by that I mean huge) Jack. It was beautiful, no question. A great hard column of flesh, great proportions and moulding, and very fine balls indeed. Jack was a magnificent monument, no question.

I got my fist around it and he sighed. And he said my name quietly.

I felt the hot sun on my shoulders and wished I had oiled up more before I bent over him and did my best to swallow him. Jeez, I choked at the first attempt. I felt a flow of sticky precum in my mouth.

Thanks Ryan, he said, and held the back of my head, urging gently.

I just wanted to suck him and wank him and see his load spurt up into the sunshine. This was the life.

I did have to warn him I was not sure I would manage to take him up my arse though, much as I wanted to. His cock looked like it was fit to burst. We had all that sun screen cream in our bags, just as well.

Fuck, it took a few attempts, before he could get it in, and a few more before I could let him start moving, but then, fuck, it was just like a dream. I clutched his hairy back and took everything he was inclined to give me, which was a lot.

 Unusually we got the fucking over first, then lay down and had a good old sixty-niner, then a bit of a mutual wank, and then Jack fucked me again, with more not less vigour. He clearly had a lot of spunk he needed rid of.

Then we just lay sort of side to side but also sort of hugging on the soft warm grass where the wild flowers were now trampled but still fragrant, and Jack kissed me again and toyed with my prick and told me the story of his life and how having the biggest cock in school was not all it was cracked up to be. He would rather have been top of the class.

Oh yeah, I said and laughed. I’d swap ya.

I told him about all the schoolboy wanks I had had after watching him on the sports field or in the pool, and he told me off for not being bolder, and said Dick would have been an easy option. He mentioned one or two names of handsome guys Dick had seduced on the sly at school, and I was jealous even after all these years.

Then we went back into the pool, willies dangling, mine looking childlike next to Jack’s, and washed the remains of our stuff off us both. And Jack kissed me again and thanked me.

For what, I asked. I’m the one who should be thanking you.

And he laughed.

Don’t go blaming me then when you wake up with a sore arse. And such a cute one too.

And he winked.

 

The dinner that last night  at the big table was raucous. As usual Dick and Jo and Penny made a lot of noise and Jack and me were quieter, acting as the straight men to the other comedians. Once in a while I caught Jack looking at me and Dick noticed too.

Eh, what are you two up to? Got something to share?

Surely Jack had not confessed to Dick about what had happened in the woods? I wondered. They did go back a long way and their relationship had included mutual masturbation in their teens (and more recently?) plus Dick had slept with Penny at the same time as Jo. Did Jack know about that?

Were my holiday buddies some kind of bi-sexy swinger cult?

Dick was shouting about us all playing strip poker after dinner. I should have seen that one coming, what with the heat and the booze and the newly purchased designer swim wear.

Jo and Penny were shrieking at the very idea, and Jack and me shared an ironic look.

Hey I am not a poker player, and before I had finished my first bottle of beer I was the most stripped person at that table. The game had turned into Strip Ryan Naked.

But hey, we were all wearing about four things, so it was not exactly a cliff hanger, the danger was it would all climax too soon.

Then Penny declared she was bored with this game – she was holding up her bare boobs as she knocked back the wine – and that the boys all needed a skinny dip instead.

So that’s what we did. But of course Dick and Jack were no secrets to me, their willies were swinging about during the impromptu game of water volley ball Jo insisted on. I feared my own dick would start some soaring upward through sheer drunken horny excitement.

Jo announced that this was all a bit boring too and that she and Penny had booked a taxi into town for girls’ night. The boys could play at whatever boys played at when the women were away. They had booked it back for 2am – so that’s plenty of warning, said Jo. Waggling a finger at my brother-in-law.

They went off to tart themselves up and soon there was pulsating retro disco music around all corners of the villa.

Jack was sitting at the edge of the pool, with his hands covering his private parts (or nearly) for some reason. Dick was in the water but with his wet chest above the surface and his arms spread wide on the ledge. I was in the middle, holding on to a blow-up and covering up my hard-on, and trying not to look at how big Dick’s cock and balls looked underwater.

I wondered what boy games the boys had in store. How would it all end?

 

The girls drove off in the taxi. There had been hugs all round and the hugs with the three naked guys were recorded on their phones.

Fuck, said Penny, it is like being in the rugby club after the match. Get your knickers on boys before you get arrested. Or the bugs bite your privates.

We were left standing there with the bugs singing in the trees and some music drifting over from another villa – cocks dangling or resting or maybe a bit jutting.

I went to look for my shorts, the ones left on the tiles during the card game and said so.

I felt a slap on my arse.

No need for that, said Dick, this is the Garden of Eden, but go and get me a beer will you. Watch for frost bite at the fridge tho. Oh, and there’s something for you in the freezer, a present, look behind the peas. Is n’t there Jack?

Dick smiled. He was playing with the trimmed hair on his chest, rubbing his nipples, letting his fingers run down the middle of his torso, finding his navel, going down his treasure trail, and down to what was left of his bush.

I could see the pulse in his cock, the quick swelling of his knob, as his foreskin moved.

I guess this is not the moment to say I feel like an early night then, I quipped.

Jack smiled at me. He had stopped covering up his genitalia with his hands, a two hander of a job, and was now just hanging there or more or less hanging there, maybe rising a bit.

I was thinking, said Dick archly, that we might relive the days of our youths. Jack here told you about Harry Bullock did n’t he? We could always recreate our hours in the showers. But instead of it being those grimy fuckers up the back of the comprehensive, we would be in these sunny oh so tropical islands. Jack and meself would play ourselves, we’ve had plenty of practice at that, but you Ryan brother-in-law, you would take on the role of the meat in the sandwich, in other words, young Mr Bullock. Are you up for it?

I said nothing, taking all that in, like Jack’s cock earlier in the day, slowly.

I looked at Jack, who smiled and made a sort of why not gesture.

But while you make up your mind Ryan, went on Dick, go and get us beers will you, and remember to look behind the petit pois.

I felt the cold air on my cock as I fetched the beers from the fridge, that kept my arousal in check, then I opened the freezer compartment and pulled out the peas. There were two big bottles of poppers there, nicely chilled. I took one back, held in my teeth, with the three beers.

Here he comes, said Dick, told you Jack, my bro would be up for it. Now Ryan we are going to recreate a scene Jack and I remember well. After the Christmas dance, bollock freezing weather it was, but fuck, we turned the boiler up, and fuck, poor Head Boy Mr Harry Bullock did not stand a chance. Come on then.

He drank his beer as he led us to the outside shower, that lovely convenience of a tropical getaway, two shower heads, plenty of room.

Dick’s cock was well on the way up as he walked, and so was Jack’s heavier equipment, two big swinging columns ready for the off.

I was as hard as a girder, no question.

Dick took the poppers from my lips, thanks mate, he said and began tearing off the wrapping.

Here, he said, Ryan, you’re in the middle of course. He took the beer bottle off me, there was a shelf nearby.

Come on, Mr Harry, do not be shy. We will never tell a soul.

He and Jack had the water pouring down on them, flattening their hair, running down over their chests and stomachs, darkening and spreading the already dark hair.

I was in the middle, feeling their arms reach out to embrace me, their mouths take turns with me, their fingers on my arse, on my balls, on my arsehole, on my cock.

Here Head Boy, said Dick, take a sniff, make it a deep one.

Yes Dick I murmured and felt the rush of the poppers. My head swam. My knob head was in Jack’s mouth. I felt it swell. My balls were tingling, somebody’s fingers were pressing between my arse cheeks.

Then I felt Dick’s mouth and tongue on me, his bristling chin on mine, his fingers on my tight nipples, and the brush of the wet hair on his chest, and fuck, the solid weight of his hard cock pressed against me.

I could feel Jack’s beard on my cock and on my balls, his tongue and his lips and the licking and the sucking, and somebody’s finger finding my prostate.

Oh, do you like that Mr Bullock, said Dick. Which one of us do you want first. I am the eldest of course sir but Jack here, he is the biggest. Shall I go first sir and then Jack can go all sloppy with your arse? Here, Mr Bullock, better have some more pops, it will ease the way for your virgin arse.

I was poppered up again and this time, felt big hands lathering me all over, and the kissing and the touching and the licking and the sucking, and then fuck, a big fat cock trying to get into me, and I knew it was Dick from the shape and the size of it, and the feel of his mouth on the back of my neck. And Jack down below sucking me like to the manner born and I thought, fuck, with the poppers in my head, that I was not gonna last long, I was gonna blow.

Here Harry, here’s what you’ve been dreaming about, here it comes.

And Dick fucked me. Standing up. Warm water pouring down. Grunting, moaning, swearing. And as he fucked me Jack was sucking and swallowing me. Then they fucking changed around and I got Jack’s monster up me, and cried out for more fuckin poppers, and Dick started wanking me off.

Let’s see your load Mr Bullock, sir, let’s see it, show us sir, let’s see what you’ve got for us.

I bellowed and came. I shot all over the place, some of it over Dick’s face, the rest god knows where in the hot running water, and I shot again, when Jack lost his load up me, like some fuckin express train, and Dick shoved my hand round his cock and in a moment he had come too, blasting away.

For a moment all three of us were standing there, silent under the water, as if we were really just having a shower, spunk going down the drain.  

Time for beer, said Dick, and switched off the shower.

He laughed. Thirsty now, he said, too much salt down my throat.

All of us wet, all of us sporting different lengths of spent cocks, lay on the loungers and drank our beers. All of us very clean, though I feared I might be dripping Jack’s recent cum on to the lounger.

Dick asked Jack about a soccer match that was playing that night back home. He told me to go and get another beer.

We mumbled and dozed for a bit. Both made jokes about their wives. I yawned.

Then Dick clapped his hands.

OK Ryan he said. Act two. This is the bit when poor Harry the Head Boy gets to take the pair of us up his arse at the same time, commonly known as DP. You’ll be needing those poppers mate. A double rum prep might not be a bad idea either. Jack, I am thinking we might have to be unhistorical though, just for a bit of fun. I do not think Harry got the benefit of this.

From under the lounger he held up a large black rubber dildo. Had that been in Jo’s carry on luggage?

Get ready Ryan, say your prayers, you are getting truly fuckin fucked.

No need to go into details. You can imagine what happened. I was wrecked, in my head, and in my arse.

What with the booze and the poppers and two big cocks and a big dildo and all that simmering semen I went out like a light that night. I did wake in the early hours when Jo and Penny got back in their taxi and decided to have a disco downstairs on the terrace. Despite the beat and the shrieks I turned over. Then I was woken up later by grunting down below.

I peered out over my balcony and saw two gorillas in white fests doing it doggy style below, side by side, with ladies bending over the terrace. That was Dick and Jack obviously, I could make out their hairy arse cheeks and the thrusting style was familiar, as was the slapping sound of their balls, never mind the groans and the shrieks. And I suppose they had the right wives under them but was not 100% sure. There were 20 painted nails holding on to the arses but at that hour in that light I could not make out which was which.

I got my phone out and filmed them at it, for future reference and entertainment.

So that was the last night of the holidays.

Safe to say we were quiet on the way home. Jo and Jack were snoring gently in the departure lounge, Penny was reading a book she had brought with her but never opened. Dick looked over at me, then made a gesture that mean coffee.

We wandered over to the shop.

Tummy a bit tender for caffeine, he said. But fancy sucking my cock one last time?

What do you mean one last time? I spluttered.

I mean the holidays, mate. Last suck of the holidays.

He tousled my hair.

Don’t fret. We’re family. We’re in this together. You, me, and Jack of course.

Dick, I managed, you know, honest, I feel like fuck. I might be dead when we land at home, honest. Thanks for the offer, but you know I might heave if you stick your pride and joy down my throat. Honest.

Dick pantomimed sadness.

But Dick would like to leave you with something special to remember, when you’re back home and stuck with that little twink with the crayon cock.

He tousled my hair again.

I sighed.

I am not doing it on board, can tell you that for nothing. I am not getting on my knees in some fuckin charter flight bog.

OK then bro. Classy Gents here. Spacious stalls. Hygienic. Fragrant. And anyway, he added, you know those yellow speedos you picked out for me special?

Yup. The ones my sister paid 100 quid for.

I’ve got them on now, under my shorts, and let me tell you, my wee cock is whispering, Ryan, oh Ryan, I’m coming for you …

Make it quick, Dick.

Make it quick? You know the merchandise on offer Ryan, it is quality, it takes the time that is needed.

Make it quick, mate, or you can go and wank it off yourself now.

OK bro. Your wish is my command. We can have the coffee afters eh?

Dick was right of course. The Gents toilets in the international departure lounge was almost luxurious, there was plenty room in the chosen stall in the far corner, and I checked the tiles were clean and dry before I got down there.

Dick pulled down his shorts. In his speedos he was standing out like a  - like a what? A cucumber? A sweet potato? An aubergine before the slicing and the roasting? Yeah, honest, just a really big cock.

Get these fuckin things off me, shouted Dick, they’re fuckin stuck.

With a bit of an effort, and a few squeals from Dick, I got the speedos off over his thick swollen knob. There was a ripping sound.

He breathed out lustily with relief as his cock swung out, released, and slapped about a bit. Jeez it nearly took my eye out.

Fuck, he said, I thought my cock was going to break off. My fuckin blood supply was off.

The speedos were now stuck on his tanned hairy thighs, like a bright yellow belt.

Not much point in me telling my brother-in-law that there was no problem with the blood supply to his cock, otherwise it would not be standing up so big and hard, and that the blood was pumping as normal in his nine inch whopper.

It was dancing about, clearly relieved to be free of the speedo. Jesus, it looked like it had grown since its confinement.

Dick looked down on me, now grinning.

What the fuck, get on with it. My knob’s as tight as a virgin’s cunt here. Ryan, for fuck’s sake, just suck it.. Just fuckin suck it. Bring back the feeling. It is fuckin numb.

I did as I was told. I liked the familiar feel of it in my mouth, the comforting juicy texture, the knob reaching for my throat. Fuck, the pre-cum was up, out, and running like warm syrup. Yum, yum.

He was quick but I am not complaining. He shouted out and I felt the blast swirl around my mouth. It was not even his biggest load, but I am not complaining about that either at this point in the holiday.

He patted my head.

Good lad. Let’s get that latte now.

We certainly had a grand family holiday, no mistake.

 

Nicky picked me up at the airport, all white and pink and shiny and smelling good. He was grinning from ear to ear, pleased to see me it seemed.

In the car back to my flat, he told me how much he had missed me and that he had a surprise for me.

Goodness, he said, you must be desperate for sex. A whole week without me, how did you manage?

I mumbled something through my persisting hangover.

When we got in, I just wanted to go straight to bed, and Nicky said that hey that was what he wanted to do as well.

Hey, that was my surprise. The twink was going to fuck me as a welcome home present. He was gonna top me, no old-fashioned sex stereotypes in our house. Just because he was smooth and blond and skinny did not mean he could not take me up the arse. Except he put it more politely than that.

For one awful fucking moment, as Nicky went for my belt and my zip, I thought I was going to stay soft and knackered, but as he pulled down my sun dried Calvins, my tired old dick returned from the dead and swung back into action. Mind you, it got it easy, as it was my arse which was getting the action. I was too knackered to get on top of him.

That little Nicky was no flop as a top. I was very happy to lie back with my legs wide open, and watch his fair face get redder and redder, as he powered towards his big finish. He even swore as he came. Then he collapsed on top of me and smiled and kissed me with that minty tongue.

My lips, unlike my arsehole, were sealed. No need for the lad to know that Dick and Jack had taken turns up there very recently indeed.

Now the holiday was over. Normal life would resume, whatever that was.

Who is Justin, asked Nicky.

No idea I said and turned over into the pillow again.

Somebody called Justin rang the office looking for Jo while you were away, says you’re due a big refund. Says you should pop in and collect in person, or he can deliver.

Who? Justin?

An image flashed into my head, my cum on his black stomach. A cool shop. A shiny name tag. A pair of speedos. Fuck.