I had just turned nineteen and started to attend Howard University in Washington, DC. It had only been in fall of the previous year that I realized that I was gay.
After I graduated from high school, I took a year off to "Bum around the world and find myself". Mom and Dad had been unnaturally indulgent in this. You see, my mother is doctor, OB-GYN. My father is a corporate lawyer and founder of his own firm. Both were successful. They brought a $650,000.00 house in a predominately white neighborhood. Despite all of this, they were determined not to raise a spoiled brat, like most of the other children in the neighborhood.
With all of this, they were particularly concerned with my self image. They wanted me to be proud of my race and my heritage. I am extremely fair-skinned with jade green eyes. Both of my parents are the products of mixed marriages. The blood of a Anglo-Saxon man and a Japanese woman runs though my veins--mixed with black blood. My grandmother on my father's side of the family--the Japanese woman is where I got the eyes.
Throughout my high school years I played both football and basketball. I was in excellent shape, even a year later, I exercised often. I am 6'3"--195 pounds. My physique, complexion and financial background made me very popular among the girls at my school. They surrounded me and followed me all over school, every day, often attaching themselves to various parts of my anatomy. Some of them hugged me--planting their over-sized breasts on my chest or grabbing my penis. These advances repelled me instead of attracting me. For the life of me, I did not know why.
During my year off I contemplated this often and came to this understanding: I was attracted to members of my own sex. The ones who often downed my for the same reasons the girls pursued me. I lusted after brown skin and brown eyes. However, I was not interested in anyone as muscular as I. Sure, I liked a good build; just not overdone, as I am. Since there was no one like that in the click I was in, I was not turned on by anyone, it seemed.
Now that I was in a historically black university, I knew it was true. I was like a fat man at a buffet. I am constantly horny. I have been so from the day I first set foot on campus.
But, it was in an abnormal sexuality class--of all places-- that I fell in love. I was seated in the back, like most jocks, when in walked Lawrance "Cocoa" Brown. It was easy to see why they called him "Cocoa". He had smooth chocolate skin and wavey, jet-black hair. It was cut very close on the top and the sides and back was bald. He walked past my end seat on his way to the front of the class. He was greeted by the professor before he took a seat. The class had not yet began and Dr. Westmen was chatting with him. He got out of his seat and walked to him. They laughed and talk for a few minutes. Then Professor Westmen said something that caused "Cocoa" to smile, sweetly and I saw his light brown eyes sparkle. My heart felt as if it would burst. He was beautiful. I began to see erotic Pictures in my mind. Pictures of him in my arms, of his chocolate hands in my milky ones. Then they changed--became more sexually. Me, on top him, his legs wrapped firmly around me or him, on his knees giving me head.
I was brought, without my consent, back to the here and now by the bell that signaled the start of the class. Upon my return, the first thing I knew was that I was rock-hard and horny as hell. All though the class, I found it impossible to focus on note taking. And, when he answered a question I head that voice. It was deep, but not overly bass. It was clear as a bell and smooth--lyrical. Of course, he got the right answer.
When the class ended he headed for the door. His wallet fell from his pocket and into the alse beside me. Grabbing up the wallet, I stepped outside to return it. He was gone. I stopped Jamar on his way to his next class.
"Mar. Do you know anything about 'Cocoa'?" I ask, attempting to hide the desperation in my voice.
"He's a brain and deep, but, cool."
"Know where he lives?"
"The lucky dog, he lives in the new dorms."
"Room. . . . . ?"
"Sorry, Jeff. I don't know." This would be a problem. Aside from not knowing the room number, I had never been to the dorms. I had a off-campus apartment. And was bad with following directions.
"C'mon, I'll show you, it's on my way", Jamar said. We walked and disgusted plays in moves. Finally, and suddenly Mar stopped.
"This is your stop." He declared.
"Thanks." I mumbled as we exchanged pounds. Jamar continue one his way down the street, and I went into the dorm. Stopping at the front desk, I quickly explained that I had found "Cocoa's" wallet and that I wished to return it. The light-skinned girl behind the desk was obliging and overly sweet. She was probably trying to come on to me. If only she knew. She told me he was in room 215. I thanked her, told her "good-bye", and headed for the stair and the second floor.
When I got to the right room, I heard a jazz cut playing. I knocked. The music stopped, and the door opened.
"Hello." Came that rich, smooth voice.
"Ah. . . hi, my name's Jeff. You dropped your wallet, when you passed me."
"Hum, I don't know you, do I?"
"No, we go to a same class."
"Oh, which one?" My throat became dry and constricted.
"Abnormal Sexuality", I whispered through suddenly dry lips. At this he smiled, lighting up those warm brown eyes, again.
"You okay, Jeff?" He questioned. That had amused him.
"Fine", I squeaked.
"Why don't you come in." He said, remembering his manners.
"Have a seat. Can I get you anything." He was wearing an electric blue, button-down shirt. His tie been undone and the top few buttons undone. I had a few tantalizing glimpses of his bare chest. It was well toned and defined, though he was not weighted down by bulk, as I am.
"No, thank you" ,I said. Now I was salivating.
"Be right back. I must save this file, I downloaded." With that, he was gone for a minute or so. Upon his return, I handed him the wallet.
"Say, what was that you were playing before I knock. It was Jazz, wasn't it?" I asked trying, so very hard to keep from drooling.
"Yes, It's called 'Moments in Love'. You like 'The Art of Making Noise'?"
"Sorry, Lawrance, I don't know Jazz. But I know what I like."
"Well, it's in the CD player on the shelf. Go push play." I did this and the music began. As the song played, I envisioned myself making love to him. I was staring at the stereo blankly.
"Ah," he said, "you see it to, huh? See yourself making love to someone you desire."
"Yeah." I said, swallowing. I knew then that I had a tent in my pants. All twelve of my inches were rock-hard again. I slowly opened my eyes to see him laid back in the recliner He sat in. I thought of one of the many cold showers I had taken to calm myself down, since coming to Howard. This caused it to shrink back down, but the sight of him in that position threatened to make me hard again. I had to get out of there, now. I cleared my throat, when he looked at me, I made sure I was checking my watch.
"Uuuh, gotta go. Next, class in five minute", I lied. He stood and walked me to the door, Thanking me again, he said "Bye". I rushed out of there. The next time I went to see him, it was to ask him to tutor me in the Abnormal Sexuality class.
I finally caught-up to him at the track. He was running, shirtless. His whole complexion was even. Actually fell between cocoa brown and caramel brown. His legs were very muscular and strong and like his chest, hairless. I watched from afar for a few moments. He had taken his last lap and went to turf of grass in the center of the track, to cool down. To my surprise, he began doing some Kung Fu like movements, only they were slow and graceful. Like a dance. He hummed to himself. And he sounded almost angelic.
I approached him, softly calling his name. His eyes opened and fixed on me. Once more my heart felt as if it might burst.
"Hello, Jeff." He said. This took me off guard. I hadn't expected him to remember my name. What was more startling was how he spoke those two words. He said them as if he expected my return to him. It was strange I had last spoke with in the fall and here we were about to begin the spring. Until now, I hadn't spoke a mumbled word to him. Reaching out to shake my hand, I notice his slender fingers. He had soft, Smooth hands.
Now, I was taking in the whole picture: He was about 5' 10" and about 170 pounds. Now standing as near to him as I was, I could see that he was perspiring. But instead of an odor coming from him, there was the odd--yet alluring--sent of oranges and cinnamon. The only way to top this off would be if he really tasted like Chocolate.
"What can I do for you", he asked. "Jeff--are you alright?" This time, instead of amusement, there was true concern. I sternly forced myself to pay attention. What did he ask me. . . . . . . . . . . . .
"I'm fine, thanks." I declared, a bit weakly.
"Great--so--what can I do for you?"
"I need help in the--uh. . . .",I force myself to say it, "Abnormal Sexualty course." There, I said it.
"Sure", he return, "no charge."
"Thanks, but I could pay you. Really." At this he draped his arm over my shoulder. The heat and seat of his body was delicious. I was tempted to take him, then and there.
"I like you, Jeff. And consider you a friend. If you need help, it's yours. I would not dream of charging a friend for it."
"Okay, so when do we start?"
"How's 7:30 tonight sound?" Once again, there I stood, stunned. I hadn't expected it to be so soon. I needed time to get my libido in check, or, I might rape this sensual little thing before me.
"Cocoa, are you a self-defense, nut, or something?" Now it was his turn to be flabbergasted. I must admit, I did enjoy it.
"Was that Karate, you were doing?"
"No, T'ai Chi. Yes, self-defense is one of the reasons I took up fighting. But T'ai Chi is mostly for exercise."
"I took up judo and Kung-Fu for self defense. . .mostly."
Every since that day, he tutored me in all the subjects I was bad at--and there were a few. In return, I agreed to act as his guinea pig. He was a Psychology major. It had gone on like for two years. Our "friendship" had devlop, drawing us more and more closely together, until the sexual tension threatened to tear us apart. I was so very attracted to him and it was his Senior year. I feared that he'd go away to grad school, and forget all about me. I was also a little angry at him. In the two years of our relationship, he hadn't tried anything. No advances once or ever. It was spring break of his senior year-- my junior--year that we had a falling out.
We had been at Fort Lauderdale. With the sun, the surf, and all of the white-boys! It was inevitable, I suppose. Here was a guy that looked like Denzel Washington's sexier younger brother. We had been enjoying ourselves and each other. My lust and desire for him hadn't gone anywhere. I still wanted him more than anyone I had ever had sex with; more that anything I had wanted in my short twenty-two years of life. God, there were times when I could taste that baby-smooth, cocoa-brown skin of his, damn him. From the day first I laid eyes on him, he seduced me. Without knowledge? Yes. Without intent? Possibly. Still he had done it, and I hadn't the courage to speak up.
We were playing football on the beach. It wasn't serious; far from it. We were, for the most part, horse-playing and talking trash. My goodness, but he was a master of trash- talking. He elevated it to a fine art form. Still, we were having fun. Nether one of us had scored a single touchdown. He was quick and came close a couple of times, but I am taller- -with longer legs. Though his stride was fast, he was unable to keep away from me for to long. Oddly, I was not able to keep from being tackled either.
I would pounce upon him, doing a half twist, so that I would not crush him with my, now, even bulkier frame. Contact. His hot, fragrant body press against mine. Only for a moment, not long enough to get a hardon. We had been playing for about half an hour, when Eric came to introduce himself.
Eric was white, slightly shorter than I, yet, taller than Cocoa. Your typical blond haired blue-eyed Anglo-Saxon, tanned beach bum. He asked if he could join in. We both agreed.
"Why don't you help Cocoa! Man could he use it." I laid it on thick.
"Might I remind you, 'Randal Cuttingham', that you have yet to score a touch-down?" He replied flippantly. I did not let that take the wind out of my sails
"Well", I said with mock haughtiness, "I will. Your beginner's luck can't go on forever."
"Hhhmmph!" Was his only retort. We played on, the two of them against me. I was having a grand time, at first. Then Eric tackled Cocoa. Began to tickle him. Cocoa laughed and squirmed beneath him. Then, I saw Eric's raging erection. I was instantly enraged! Slamming the football to the ground, I stormed down the beach. As I charged down the shore, I heard Cocoa politely excusing himself to come after me. He followed me though the door of my hotel room.
"Jeff, what's wrong?" He asked.
"Nothing." I Lied.
"Your lying." He replied. "I wish you wouldn't--" The words ended mysteriously.
"Wish I wouldn't what?" My head was lowered.
"Look at me, please." I did as he asked, fighting the urges to sweep him into my arms and kiss him. I repeated the question.
"--Wish you wouldn't hide from me."
"Hide your feelings. Why are you so angry with me all of the time?" There was a melancholy to his tone. I did not like the way this conversation was going.
"Listen, Lawrance, I'm sleepy and could use a nap."
"Please go." Without another word he turned and walked out of the door.
I walked out of the hotel and into the newly fallen night. Lately Jeff's behavior was really freaking me out. He's a great guy; I knew that from the first time I saw him. Standing in my doorway. He was nervous. I think it was me. The look in his eyes went far beyond appreciation. It was more like worship. As if I were some religious fantastic! I did not like it.
Still, I saw a friend. One simply cannot have too many true friends. He's an excellent bodily specimen. Those jade eyes of his are intoxicating. He seems, always, ashamed of his complexion. This I do not understand. God creates us as he would have us. The bottom line is that he is a great-looking guy with a charming personality. But his anger was pushing me away.
I think I walk the night for an hour or so. I decided to give his space and hope he would get over whatever was bothering him. For what remained of the break, I kept my distance often clubbing in the evenings. Sometimes cruising the strip during the day. I went to see movies and soak-up the place.
Upon returning to school, I began the long process of completing my final projects and preparing for graduation. And, of course, I waited and hoped that Jeff would come to me; I would NOT go to him. Then, I gave up on him. Perhaps we were friends no longer. It was three days before D-day as I called it , and a strange and disconcerting stage fright fell on me. It was truly weird. After all, this only began that afternoon. I had been chatting with Dr. Westmen--not our regular profound and deeply meaningful conversation--rather, he spoke with me of my impending graduation. Of what I would do with what I had learned. It was then that it all fell upon me. My nerves were shot though the duration of the class. I returned to my room. I had--at the end of my sophomore year--pledged a fraternity. When I arrived at the frat house. It was empty, no big surprise. It was Friday. I wouldn't my "brother" until late Sunday evening or Monday morning. I had finished packing the night before. I had even dismantled my computer and packed it up. I had been lucky. I had a excellent research job and grad school to look forward to. My thoughts were erratic--skipping from this to that.
I was interrupted by a knock at the downstairs door. Absent-minded, I answered the door.
". . . . . . Jeff! Hello, come in!" He did this. I offered him a seat and a drink. He accepted both.
Silence. It continued until it was nearly deafening. Then, he spoke.
"How is the packing going?"
"How have you been. . . . my friend?"
"Well. I will be graduating soon, I would like you to come."
"Jeff, are you still angry with me?" He stood up and crossed the room, sat beside me on the couch.
"No. I was never angry at you. I--"
"Go on," I said. At last! I would know. Instead of an answer, he turned toward me and clasped my shoulder. Our eyes meet and an energy seemed to flow between us. I did not understand what was happening, did not understand these feeling I was having or the way my body was reacting to this sudden intimacy. His large, powerful hand took the side of my face, his thumb caressed my check. Then, he pulled my face to his and kissed me deeply, passionately. I could feel my entire body begin to shake and to tingle. I could hear his heart beating wildly in his chest. His lips and tongue found their way to my neck
"Ooohh, Jeff, what--are you doing to mmeee?"
"What I should have done a long time ago," he breathed. Before I could get in another word, He lifted me into his arms and carried me up the stairs. Seeing the open door to my room, he steeped in and kicked it shut with is foot. He placed me, gently on my sheetless bed and began to remove his cloths. My dick was now so hard it hurt. When he was completely nude, a gasp escaped me. His pecs where perfectly rounded. His abs rippled like the ocean. His arms were so powerful. His dick had to be a foot long and so very thick.
"My god!" I whispered breathlessly. That wet tongue flicker across his upper lip. He growled. Though I was powerfully attracted, I was also afraid. What if he was more than I could handle? Would his animal lusts and bottled up passion overwhelm me sexually? He crossed the room and stood before me. His rock-hard member level with my nose. Without thinking and before I knew what I was doing, I swallowed the entire 12 inch at once. I suck him. All the while, my tongue caressed his huge penis. He moaned my name again and again. His hands reached forth and played in my hair.
"Oh, shit," he breathed. His hands, now, firmly griped my head and he was slamming his oversized dick into my mouth. I braced myself on his hips, feeling the firmness of it and that of is muscular butt. So much power in each thrust. Waves of heat washed over me, one after another, making me dizzy. Just as I felt that I would surly succumb to that heat, he stopped and pulled out of my mouth. I was scared. What would come next? Would he want to put that monster up my crack? He removed first my shirt, then my pants and finally my underwear. He laid me back on the bed, my head rest at the foot of the bed. Spreading my legs be look at my eight inches with admiration, then swallowed me whole.
"Uuuhh. . . .uh." I moaned. The feel of his hot, wet suction was too much for me at first. I scooted to the head of the bed and curled myself into a ball, overwhelmed. He was stunned, momentarily. Then reached out one of those strong, rough hands and slide it along my check and down my body. I began to melt. My body lay flat once more, on the bed. He positioned himself on top of me and licked my nipples. I was again, overpowered and overcome, but there was no escape. His 215 pound body pinned me securely to the bed.
"Aaahhh. . . .aaahhh. . . ooohhh, Jeff, Jeff, Jeffff!" He got off of me breaking contact for a moment. He took my hips, sat me up, slide my hips to the edge of the bed and came up between my legs. Planting my legs firmly on his broad shoulders, placed his rough hands on my smooth ass and stood up. He grouped my ass. "Oh, Jeff, oh. . . oh, Jeff?" This moaning seemed to really turn him on. He retracted his right hand and reach up to my mouth. He plunged his index finger in and out of my mouth. I sucked on it as he pulled out. At last he took it completely out of my mouth and returned it to it former position on my ass. Then, he buried his nose in my pubic forest as he, once again, took me into his mouth. I let out a cry and shifted my weight onto his hands. He enter me with that wet finger and my cock jumped.
"Jeff, what are you doing to me?," I gasped. "Aaahhh. . . . .Ooohhhh, Jeff." I found myself grasping his head in both of my hand. His finger probed my ass. My dick found new dephs of his mouth. The disorienting waves of heat returned in full force. Just before I passed the point of no return, he took my dick out of his mouth and his finger out of my crack. He slide me down facing him in a standing position. He then pushed me down on the bed with a chest block.
Once again I lay on my back Looking up at that magnificent body in total awe. I was at his mercy and this made my penis feel as if it might explode at any minute. He topped me again with the firm body. The heat was so intense, it seemed to be fusing our skin into one. He took hold of his member and rubbed it rhythmically against my hole. Slowly, without my consent, I felt myself opening up to him. I felt him slip into me inch by hot, thick inch.
"Ooohhh, J-J-Jeff. . . .Oh, my God!" I cried. By the the time he crammed the eighth inch into me it began to hurt a little. The pain was exquisite and delicious. It was equal parts pleasure and pain. My hands found his hot, sweaty chest and caressed his pecs. They found his arm and then his back. As he pumped my butt with slow, full, circular strokes, I licked the salt from his chest and nipples. The thrust become more powerful and I had to hold on to his back to keep from being thrust away. He began to growl. His thrust lost the rhythm and became desperate and rough. The waves of heat washed over me yet again and he pounded my back door. He pumped me as if his hips were hydraulic pistons. I was loosing it. My anus felt as if it were on fire. Then he gave one last thrust, though back his head and roared as he came up my ass. His roar sent me off the end, and I came, a thick, long stream. His cool cum flooded my ass and extinguished the fire. He collapsed on top of me, burring me under his blazing body, he lay there for a few minutes, as the aftershocks of the uncanny orgasm me shared-- rack our bodies, before scooping me up in his arm, kissing me deeply on the mouth and laying my head on his chest.
With our lust at last spent, we drifted off to sleep. I felt the warmth of the sunlight fall across my face and opened my eyes. Jeff was looking down on me. The was true sadness in his eyes.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Nothing. . . . Just thinking that Monday, I'll lose you."
"Oh, that's what all the arguing was about. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you--"
"Tell me what," he demanded before I had the chance to finish.
"I'm going to take my Masters degree here at Howard!"
"Then why'd you pack?" He questioned, stunned.
"I'm moving to an off-campus apartment." He was visible, overjoyed.
"Is it too late for you to get the safety deposit back?" He returned.
"So that you can live with me," he said matter-of-factly, "I have an off campus condo."