He felt like all the air inside had been knocked out of him. Blake couldn't believe what Trent had said, or what it meant. There was no way they could know, could even have a clue that he was, but somehow they had. Did others know? Was it that obvious to everyone, or was all this just an elaborate plot to out him?
Even though he felt scared, he couldn't help but take into account that Trent had used the 'we', the 'like us' words, as if he was Gay. Yet, how come he didn't feel like it was true, that it was maybe just an act? As he stood there, with a sort of stunned look on his face, he realized something had attracted him to Trent.
Had that been the 'gaydar' that he had read about? Was there really such a thing, as being able to tell if another was like him?
Then too, as he felt his muscles tighten, as he managed to slowly calm his beating heart, and his heaving chest, the whole idea that the Fraternity was made up of just gays, was a bit, well incredulous. Sure, he had read about them, but always thought it was just fiction.
To suddenly think that all those guys lined up in a row, that the guy who touched his dick to measure it, was also gay, was well, hard to swallow. Still, to strip, to jerk off, as a sort of, get acquainted ritual, wasn't what you would expect from Straight Guys.
His mind was whirling, as he tried to figure it out, while Trent stood there. It seemed like he had been silent for ages, but he knew it had only been seconds. His heart was still pounding as he stared at Trent, at those eyes, that mouth, that mop of hair. The guy was everything that Blake liked, that got him hard. He had a ton of magazines, but the most used ones were those that had pictures of guys like Trent.
Then too, as he thought about it, he wondered at things. Like how impressed everyone was with how far he shot his load, at how big Brian's dick was, and how disappointed they all seemed when Brian didn't shoot, but sort of just flowed. Could what Trent be telling him, be for real? Looking at him, he rather hoped it was, as he nodded his head, afraid to speak the words, to admit it.
As soon as he did nod, he noticed how Trent suddenly lit up. His face didn't have the worry lines, and his eyes seemed more relaxed, as were his facial features. Blake hadn't noticed it before, but it was as if Trent had been just as nervous as him.
'You really didn't know?'
'No. Guess I should have, but uh..'
'It's cool, takes a load off my mind, you had me scared for a second.'
'Me? I don't, why?'
'Hate to make a pass at a breeder, I mean you know how they can get.'
They had started to walk closer to the main doors, when he just stopped and stared at Trent. He was making a pass at him? How the fuck, how did he miss that, he wondered, as he just nodded, not sure what to say. How could he tell this guy that he didn't even know that he had made a pass, let alone know how straight guys reacted to one?
Inside, the managed to find a table at the back, away from everyone else. The place wasn't busy, and he had noticed Trent had grabbed a sandwich, offered him one too, but he had refused. He was just too nervous to eat anything, hard enough to drink the hot coffee as it was.
Funny, but Trent wouldn't let him pay either, which was nice, but it confused him. Was Trent serious, that he had made a pass at him, or was he trying to? No one had ever done that, least not that he had noticed. Thinking it over, he wondered if he had missed other passes? Was he still a frustrated virgin, because he didn't know the signs?
The whole idea that he had no experience with other guys because he might have missed the signals confused him. It also depressed him, as he watched how easy Trent could talk about things, about other guys. The way his face would light up when he would mention some past 'date' as he called it.
While the talk was hushed, and every few seconds Trent would look around, making sure no one could hear them, it was rather thrilling to listen to someone else talk about guys, the way he felt about guys. It was something he never had. It was perhaps why he had lost himself so much while jerking off earlier. To be showing off like that, was so new, so different.
Sitting there, listening, he felt a bit nervous at first. No one had ever talked to him this way, and he was frightened of screwing it up. All he could do was sit there, and stare. His eyes couldn't leave Trent's face, the way he would light up, then grow sombre. It was so new to him, that he was just enthralled by the whole experience.
'You don't say much'
'It's okay, not boring you, am I? Really don't want to do that.'
'No, no not at all, just.. I guess I am still a bit uh, you know, finding out.'
'Yeah, you really didn't know?'
'No, guess I just, I don't know, I sound like a real dunce.'
Trent leaned back in the chair, and stared at Blake. In a way it made him nervous, in another way he felt rather flattered. It was strange to have another guy look at him, in that kind of way. Least it felt good, as he sort of just looked back, not sure what to say or do.
'You uh, not interested? I mean it's okay, maybe I am too pushy at times, but uh, it's cool if you aren't.'
'Huh? I don't.. shit, uh, this isn't easy for me.'
'You got a boyfriend? That it?'
'ME? I wish.'
He could feel his stomach twisting, turning into a giant knot. How do you tell someone you haven't a clue what it is he wants? It was like, some worse secret than not letting on you were different. It was just nerves, he knew, but that didn't help him much as he looked over at Trent. The way he seemed ready to be disappointed.
Still, the idea that Trent was interested in him, was well, exciting. He didn't want to blow it, and as he thought about that, he got a smile on his face. Yes, he did want to blow it, but not in the sense of what he had been thinking. Christ, suddenly he was having sex with the guy, and he still didn't know what it was he wanted. Did he want to have sex, and what kind?
'Laugh? I don't.. no I won't laugh, honest.'
The magazines he had read, the few videos he had seen, didn't prepare him for this. He could feel himself breaking out into a cold sweat. It was odd, because he knew he was attracted to Trent. Hell, he had stolen quite a few glances at his dick earlier, and he knew it had turned him on.
Come to think of it, Trent was actually the first person he had come out to. In some ways, tonight was becoming nothing but a collection of firsts for him. There was the Frat House, where he stripped for a bunch of strangers, got his dick hard in front of them, instead of a mirror. He even had another guy touch his dick, which was a huge first for him.
He had then followed that up by jacking off in front of over 20 strangers. That was super huge, which paled in comparison to now. To have actually admitted he was gay, to another guy, now that had to rank right up there, so how could he not keep the string alive? The way Trent looked, how he had spoken, Blake couldn't help but be impressed.
Maybe more than that, was that somehow else actually thought enough of him, to want to take it to a more personal level. But then, what if he couldn't deliver? His heart was pounding as the thoughts raced back and forth. He so wanted to stop being the quiet one, the one who only read about it. He wanted to feel more than some stranger's hand touch him.
'I uh, I haven't, that is I never.. I uh..'
'But you are what, eighteen at least, never? Not in High School even?'
'I am sorry, I uh..'
'Sorry? Nothing to be sorry about, just well, I never met someone who uh, who never.'
'Now you have.'
He felt totally foolish, and depressed. There was no way that Trent would want some virgin, certainly not him. He felt the disappointment inside, even though Trent hadn't backed off, yet. It would just be a matter of time, of that he was certain.
'There a reason? I mean you're not sick or anything, so that you uh, can't?'
'Then how come? There had to be someone you had the hots for in school? Some friend or someone?'
'I wish, but no, no one.'
'I don't get it, you are hot looking, no one hit on you?'
'Hot? Me? You need glasses, and no, no one hit on me.'
Why couldn't Trent just let it go? Why did he seem so insistent on knowing why he was a virgin? Wasn't that bad enough? Surely he could get whoever he wanted, the way he looked, so why was he wasting so much energy on him?
'Too scared I guess.'
'Oh, I see.'
The silence was awkward, as Blake waited for Trent to make some excuse, and leave, yet at the same time he rather hoped he wouldn't. He liked him, had a nice voice, and well, he liked his looks. Truth was, he felt something around him, the way he had been nervous too, yet had tried to not show it. Then his compliment, but really he knew it wouldn't go further.
'Yeah, well sorry to disappoint you.'
'Uh, look, you didn't, just that, I never been someone's first. Besides, not like I am what you would call an expert either.'
'You mean you still want to uh, to uh..'
'Get it on? Yeah, I'd like to well, know you better.'
He felt the disappointment. It was like Trent was now just being nice, that his chance to maybe make this a super night of firsts, was well, over with. Still, he did do well, and there was tomorrow.
'You look, shit look, I think maybe we got our wires crossed a bit here.'
'What do you mean?'
'I mean, that well, I like you, want to know you, but if you aren't ready for more than hanging together, I can, well, I can wait or whatever. No pressure, I mean, I know how it can be, that first, well, you know.'
'I suppose, but, I am not good at this, the guessing. I never, it isn't just the sex stuff. I never told anyone I liked guys, until now. So I uh, I don't know what is expected, and well, it is all just so new, so different than what I had imagined.'
'No one? For real?'
'Shit, that has to suck, how did you, I mean wasn't it kind of hard, to not be able to, well, talk about it?'
'Yeah, yet I don't know, never seemed like there was a reason to.'
'So you never came across any guys you liked? That you maybe wanted to uh, you know, find out if they were?'
'Sure, just that, well I was too afraid. I didn't want to suddenly be known as that Fag, or as the Queer Kid.'
'Sucks when that happens.'
As he mumbled his answer, he couldn't help but look down, and then up very quickly. Strange how his mind kept making more out of the words. Like when Trent said 'suck' how it made him glance down at his crotch. When he managed to take a deep breathe, he also noticed how Trent was smiling at him.
'Don't be, though I don't know how anyone could not know you were into guys, the way you been checking me out, which I have to say I rather like.'
'I uh, really? I just, well, I guess it's because at least, I well, I know you are, that you won't, you know.'
'Yeah, getting outed that way can be a real bitch. So, maybe I shouldn't ask, but uh, you want to maybe, well, uh, go somewhere private, where uh, where, we can, sort of.. see if we uh can do more than stare?'
'Sure you want to? I may really suck at it?'
Even as Trent started to laugh, he knew his mistake, but couldn't help himself from joining in with Trent. The tension somehow disappeared, as they laughed, because of the way he had said it, and how he had been sneaking another glance at Trent as he had.
Funny it was, and yet scary too, but while his heart was beating, he didn't think it was because of fear. It was more from excitement, as he'd not yet touched another guy, and so maybe tonight's rush of first's would continue? Problem was, where could they find a private place? He couldn't go back to his dorm room, nor did he think they could go to Trent's.
'I'd like that, if you sure, but, where?'
'Oh I am sure, I been wanting to, the second I saw you at the Frat House, and well, I know of a place, if you game.'
'I am, if you are.'
'You need glasses, or I need smaller pants.'
He couldn't help but laugh, while checking out Trent's crotch. There really was no mistaking that bulge, and while he had seen many in the magazines, to see one in real, and not have to hide his glance, was in itself, arousing. Blake could feel his own dick stirring as they quickly stood up and made their way out.
Blake followed slightly behind Trent, noticing how nicely his ass looked. There was something about how the two halves moved as he walked. How the pants seemed to fit them so nicely, and how the curve of the flesh looked so inviting. He had a strange urge to want to pat them, to reach out and just touch, but he couldn't quite bring himself to do it. Not out in public.
They made their way out, and he couldn't help but notice Trent was walking rather fast. It was like he couldn't wait, which in all honesty, he felt as well. The ache in his own crotch was unlike any other ache he ever had. Even when his favourite magazine was out, and he had been rushing home to open it up, he never felt like he did now.
While the palms of his hands were sweaty, while the beat of his heart was faster, the ache in his chest was intense, it was nothing to how he ached in his crotch, nor how there was a twinge by his ass. That wasn't something new, but he never really felt it as much as now, as he followed Trent along the pathway, then suddenly veer off to go into the trees that lined the path.
Everything had a strange glow to it, muted and it was hard to keep Trent's image in front of him. He was more like a darker shadow, as they made their way behind the trees, and bushes that filled the area. He could still see the glow from the path, but it didn't do much but give him a focal point. It didn't penetrate the darkness.
They broke out into a sort of clearing. Least it was less dense than the trail they had followed. It had a soft perfume smell to it, sort of like flowers, but more intense. Blake breathed in deeply, enjoying the rather strong scent, unable to figure out what it reminded him off. His eyes were accustomed to the darkness, but he had to admit, it was a nice little spot.
The Stars shone from above, and he could tell that no one passing by would be able to just stumble onto them, without them hearing. It really was an ideal spot, and he turned to look at Trent. If he was a freshman, like himself, how did he know about this spot?
'One of the guys at the House showed me this place, in case you are wondering.'
Blake smiled, because he had been wondering. Still, it was perfect, as there was thick grass over the ground. He could smell its earthiness, as he stared around at it all, then back towards Trent. In the pale light, he had a sort of glow around the edges, but the sparkle in his eyes were as brilliant as the stars above. He looked perfect, as he just stood there, not sure what to do, or what would happen.
'And before you ask, yes I got it on with him, he was cute, wasn't any of the guys that were there tonight though, and well, I hadn't met you yet.'
'That's okay, I mean, not like we are married. Or uh, I mean, should I be upset?'
Trent laughed, as he reached out and put his hand next to Blake's face. The back of it moved up and down as he just stared at him, his eyes sparkling. 'No, only if we become an item, as they say, then yeah, you should be, I know I would be.'
Blake smiled back, and put his own hand up and over Trent's hand. It felt good to touch it, to feel the warm flesh of another man. He felt his body tremble as he touched the hand, and his eyes looked up to stare into Trent's. It was like tiny lightning bolts were flashing at him, as he stared into them, feeling his whole body tingle.
The hand moved down his face, rested on his shoulder, as he watched Trent's face loom closer, as he heard him shuffle forward a bit. He stood there, uncertain what to do, as he held both hands at his side. The look in the eyes grew as they came closer, the eye lashes fluttered as Trent moved his head to one side, Blake suddenly feeling his own head move to the opposite side.
He could feel his heart pounding, as Trent's face came closer. His hands suddenly reached out, on their own, to touch Trent at both sides. To sort of grasp his thin body. He felt the charge, the electricity, as his fingers made contact with Trent's sides. The softness of his flesh, the way he seemed to move made his leg twitch as his own eyes suddenly began to blink rapidly, the eyelids opening and closing in a flurry.
Then he felt the warm breath on his face, followed by a soft touch against his lips. He trembled, as his hands clutched at Trent's sides, pulling him in closer. The warm touch on his lips changed to a hard press, as his own lips parted. Blake shuddered, as he realized that Trent was kissing him, that their two bodies were pressing up into each other. That poking object, near his thigh wasn't Trent's thigh, but his hard dick.
He moaned a bit, having it cut off, as Trent's tongue was suddenly in his mouth. He didn't know what to do, but let his body follow its instincts. Blake felt his whole body quiver, felt almost like he would pass out. The breath in his lungs seemed to be gone, as he gasped for air, heard himself panting, as Trent's tongue licked at the inside of his mouth. He felt his teeth rake his lips, nibble at them really, which only made his hands clutch at Trent more.
Then he heard the noise, the soft moan that wasn't his. His eyes opened briefly, but closed quickly as Trent's lips pressed against his harder. As the tongue once more snaked it way past his lips into his mouth. He felt the tremor inside, felt the way his own cock was throbbing, but he also could feel Trent's dick, the way it was pressed into his thigh.
In all his time thinking about this moment, he never thought it would be this good, or that he would ever feel this happy. His whole body was in a strange sense of ecstasy. It was like he could feel every nerve inside, the way it moved, the signals it was sending to his brain. Each one, individually, which was weird, yet amazingly wonderful.
He simply couldn't believe how he could feel all those different emotions. The way his mind could experience the touch of Trent's hand down his stomach, across his belly, while at the same time recording how sweet his mouth tasted, or how salty his lips were. His chest was heaving, his legs trembling, but all he could think of was how good it all felt, how soft the hands were, then how hard they were.
The way Trent moved them all over him, touching his thigh, that send shivers up and down his spine, or how the press of his leg made his heart tremble. The way his ears felt as they heard the soft moan coming from Trent. It was too much for him, as he felt his body buck, felt himself losing total control over his whole body.
The weakness inside, was making him shake, sort of like he was having a fit or something. Yet it didn't seem to stop Trent, or slow him down. His hands were everywhere, his mouth too. The way he would be biting on Blake's lower lip one second, then kissing the hollow of his neck. Then just as he would feel that, he would find his ear being licked, or the wet kiss across his shuttered eyes.
His whole body was a mess of quivering jelly, as the hands moved over him, as Trent's warm body filled the space between them in ways he didn't think could be possible. The trembling was making him think the ground was moving, the explosion of lights across his closed eyelids only adding to the confusion, to the joy inside.
Blake felt himself arch forward, suddenly realizing he had let himself go too much. The way his whole groin suddenly seemed to explode, to ache, told him he had gone too far. He felt sudden fear, sudden shame, but Trent didn't seem to notice, or if he did, he didn't stop.
His hands continued to move, to touch him, but now down at Blake's groin. He could feel the hands probing his cock, that had just exploded. The way it was still firm, still rock hard, surprised him, as he heard Trent moan, heard his voice crack a bit, as the hands felt the now large wet patch of his pants.
Blake felt himself pulling at Trent, bringing his body even closer. His own hands were clenched tightly around the firm buttocks, squeezing the flesh inside the pants. He could feel them shake, feel the warmth as he pulled harder, wishing he hadn't cum, wishing he had held on.
Suddenly, Trent pulled back, and with his hands on Blake's shoulder he stared across at him. His chest was heaving as much as Blake's, but the eyes were sparkling. Blake felt a bit uneasy, but stood there, waiting. He wasn't sure for what, as Trent let his hands fall down, then he glanced down at Blake's groin. The smile on his face grew, as he just looked at it.
He felt his face becoming flushed, turning red even though it was too dark to notice. Still he felt embarrassed by his premature ejaculation, yet somehow he didn't think Trent was put off. He just didn't seem upset, or feel that way. The way he was looking, was sort of, well hot. It was almost as if it turned him on.
'If I smoked, I'd be lighting one up about now.'
'Fuck yeah, damn that felt good. I know it wasn't what I had expected, but I almost shot my load too.'
'You mean it? You aren't just saying that to uh, you know, make me feel better about it?'
'I don't bullshit, I never felt so excited, still do.'
'I wasn't thinking, I should have held back, I just, you were just, damn I am sorry.'
'Don't be, I mean not like we are finished, uh, unless you don't.. I mean..'
'No, I don't want it to end this way, least unless you do? I mean, I..'
'Let's just sit, and well, rest for a bit, you really got me going there, I never felt that aroused before.'
'Yeah, I mean not like I have been with a lot of guys, just that, those I have were nice, good sex, but nothing like this. I really mean that.'
He watched as Trent moved towards the trunk of the big tree that was at the far end of their little clearing. He sat down, looking up at Blake, his eyes glittering, his mouth in a wide grin. His whole face was bathed in the starlight, as he slowly moved to stand by him, looking down at him. He could see Trent's chest was still heaving a bit, as was his.
Slowly he let himself sit down, to rest next to Trent. He flinched as Trent moved his arm up and rested it over Blake's shoulder. He relaxed the instant he felt it holding him. It felt so good, as he sort of just snuggled in closer, to let his body become wrapped by Trent's.
His head rested on the chest, and he glanced up to see Trent looking at him. Somehow it just felt as he had imagined it would feel, to be with another man. His hand was resting on Trent's knee, and he glanced down at it, then over at Trent's crotch. He could see the bulge, and he had wondered what it would feel like. Now he felt like he would find out, as he leaned in closer, as his hand suddenly moved up Trent's leg, slowly making its way upwards, towards the crotch.
Blake felt his chest suck in, felt the nerves inside tremble, as he felt Trent's muscles shaking. The warmth under his hand was making him sweat a bit, as he stared at his hand, as it slowly moved up the leg, up the thigh, resting by the groin. His eyes widened, as they saw the bulge move a bit, each time his hand had moved.
Glancing upwards, he saw the glazed look in Trent's eyes, saw the nostrils flare, as he realized he was the one having that effect on Trent. It was his touch, his presence, that was making him excited, not some picture, not some lifeless video. Blake lowered his eyes to stare at Trent's crotch, as his fingers hesitated. He wanted them to move, to reach out, but he was still frightened, still unsure.
'Go ahead, it won't bite' came from above his head, and he lifted his face upwards, to stare up at Trent. As he did, he could feel his own cock growing a bit harder, obviously not yet done for the night. He smiled as he looked back down, to see Trent's hand move up from his other side, and undo the top button of his pants. The sound startled him for a moment, but his eyes were glued to the unfolding scene.
He knew that tonight's round of firsts for him, was far from over, as he saw Trent pull the zipper down, and push the pants apart. He could see the white band of the underwear, and he could smell that aroma, that scent that had to be what they called 'the man scent'. Blake licked his lips, as he felt his fingers quiver.