A World of Fantasies

Three am found me awake and looking at my bedroom's ceiling as I searched for sleep. I wasn't much for pondering heavy ideas. Picking my major was far more taxing than I thought it would be. I was left mentally wiped for days after I finally submitted my choice. But here I was thinking about something which was unlike me but still in my wheelhouse somehow. 

Why are most people so hung up about sex? Kids were allergic to the idea that their parents liked, wanted to, were having, or have had sex before. I thanked anything out there that had a hand in me not being born or raised in the south-eastern coast of this country where they pretended that a man has never been in love with another man or that a woman couldn't only want to sleep with other women. 

This train of thought didn't just come out of nowhere. People being hung up on the sex part, not the women sleeping with women part. A few days ago, I was passing by the football field, and isn't it always the football players that get us gay guys in trouble? To Dennis Phillips' credit, he wasn't the one that confronted me for lusting after him as I stood on the other side of the fence, watching him plow through his other teammates as they tried to slow him down. 

Today that job was left up to a girl that stood on the field and close to the fence. I didn't even realize she was there until I heard her say 'gross' in my direction. I turned to see what she was talking about. I quickly realized that she was looking at me along with four of her friends. Saying anything back wasn't worth it, and I had projects to work on waiting for my attention. I looked at the field again and searched for Dennis to get one last glimpse in before leaving. 

I found him walking towards another player who was holding up a bottle of water in his direction. I watched his ass in those tights that were part of his uniform as he stood with his back to me. He was naked from the waist up, so my eyes moved over his exposed skin. When he turned around to look at the rest of the team still on the field, I saw his bare chest slick with the same sweat that made his hair shine. I envied that bottle for being held by him and touching his lips. When I felt myself getting sucked in like the water he was consuming, I pulled myself back and looked around. That group was still looking at me, and I adjusted my bag as I felt myself starting to get hard. 

As much as I wanted to stand there and rub one out, letting Dennis know that he fueled my wet dreams and I would let him do so much to me, I knew it wasn't and would never be possible. I left before someone made a scene, and I wouldn't be able to get these small glimpses of him again. 

I turned my head to the side and looked out my window as I smiled. This story I read, who knows how long ago, was about a world where sex was just out in the open. People had sex at work on the desk in front of their coworkers. They did it outside and on the sidewalks as people walked by doing what they were doing. Masturbating was tame in that world and was seen any and everywhere. In that world it didn't matter if you were gay, lesbian, straight, or bi. Sex was something everyone wanted and indulged in. On that pleasant note, I felt myself finally starting to fall asleep. I knew it wasn't possible, but I wished I lived in a world like that when I saw a light streaking across my window. 

"WAKE UP JOSH, WE'RE GONNA BE LATE!" I heard my brother David shout through the house. I bolted upright at the noise and then slowly understood that they were words and what those words meant. Why didn't my alarm wake me up? I wondered. My alarm always woke me up. Was it buried in my sheets again? I found it under my pillow and breathed a sigh of relief to see that it was connected to its power cord and fully charged. I didn't want to deal with a dead phone first thing in the morning. 

As I checked the time to see how late it was, I was struck by the wallpaper. It wasn't the almost monochromatic artwork of Thor drawing lighting down to him with Mjölnir amid floating, swirling debris. But a picture of a guy I didn't recognize. He was naked and standing above the camera, holding his cock, with a drop of milky white cum barely hanging on to the tip of his foreskin that he had pushed down over the head of his dick. That shocked me awake. When the screen went dark, I mentally grasped for what I was suppose to be doing. The time, I reminded myself. I was checking the time. I turned on the screen again, and I checked the time right away. It wasn't that late. I remembered not getting that much sleep, but I felt awake now. 

"JOSH!" I heard David shout again. 

"I'M UP!" I shouted back. I figured if Dad was letting him yell, I could yell back. I flung back the light sheet that had pooled around my waist and covered my legs. As I placed my feet on the floor, I found myself stepping on something other than the hard wooden floor. It felt like a magazine, but before I bent down to pick it up or kick it out of my way, I was frozen in place by what I saw around me. This was not my room. 

Ok, the shape of the room looked the same. The window was still in the right place, along with all the doors that I remembered, but it looked like someone had wallpapered my walls with pages from Porn Up magazine. On wall, after wall, after wall, there were cocks and fucking and naked men in every shade and shape that we came in. I say magazine because some of the pictures looked that small, but mixed in were posters that ranged from two to three feet tall. 

One was of a blonde kid swallowing a cock that a bear of a man was feeding him. Another had the closeup of a long brown-haired guy licking a set of big, smooth balls. The crowning piece and the largest of them all was a poster stuck to the back of my door that covered the entire thing. It was a photo of a guy laying back on a red pillow and sheet set. His skin glowed as he looked back at me with his straight long black hair fanned out over half of the pillow. 

The guy's legs were spread apart a little, and his hands rested on either side of his hairless cock and balls. As I gazed at him, I felt myself getting harder. Once again, I had to remind myself that I had school, even as I wondered how this happened. I wasn't asleep for that long, and who would want to do this for me, never mind to my room. My room. I pulled my eyes from the god looking back at me and took in what else had changed. There was my desk. It had my books and laptop, like how I left them. But above them was a shelf full of dildos and other sex toys. Things I never bought, never mind used, but still recognized.

Nights when I wished to feel something inside of me other than my fingers or the one small butt plug that I was somehow able to buy last year, I would look up sex toys and fantasize about using them and how they would feel, and who I would like to use them on me. Boys with Balls, which I recognized by its curved shape, was voted best anal dildo last year. Next to that was the AssGasm, a prostate stimulator plug that came attached to its own     cock ring. I almost gasped as I eyed the Tunnel Butt Plug in all its clear glory. It wasn't the smallest or the largest size of the set, but I started to heat up at just the thought that I would be able to actually use it. Next in the lineup took a while longer for me to recognize. It was black, sleek-looking, and reminded me of a pencil shaper. Then I remembered what it was. It was a pricey, high-tech, fleshlight at one hundred and twenty dollars. Satisfyer's Heat Vibration Stroker, if I remember correctly. Last, but not least, there was the most outrageous-looking dildo of the lot. It was brightly colored and the biggest of them all. It was a two-patterned Bad Dragon dildo. It towered over the nondescript dildos that laid at its base. I don't remember which model this one was, but the dick part was covered in a pattern of blue sky with white clouds all over, which was attached to a base in metallic grey. It was eight inches tall, if not ten, and the thickest part of the shift must have been two inches thick. 

The rest of the shelf was taken up with anal prep stuff like lubes, lube injectors, and a sex toy cleaner spray mixed in there. 

School, I told myself again. I'll figure out what happened to my room later. Maybe I was still sleeping, I told myself as I tried to stand again and once more walked over magazines. I looked down, and there were a few next to my bed like I thumbed through them just before falling asleep last night. Something I know I didn't do. So I must still be dreaming.

If this was a dream, then I was going to enjoy the heck out of it until I woke back up to my far less exciting life.