Top #Selfies of the Week: Super Jocks

I need a jock whistle. Like a dog whistle in that it produces a certain frequency sound that only jocks can hear. And it drives them wild. Making them hunt me (in a non-Law & Order SVU kind of way). Creates a compulsion in them to be their jock selves as close to me as possible. Hopefully negative 8".

If only I had zero opinions about jock brains and words and personalities and stuff. Apparently I care who someone is. That totally gets in the way of stuff, believe me. It's like the whole "resting on pretty" critique of models. It's not enough to just stand there and look good. You have to model. You have to fucking do something, with your eyes, your energy, your everything.

Exceptional jockness can lead some guys to not develop all the rest of them. Or they just are boring as hell with hot bodies. I don't think it's insane to want it all. By which I mean Justin Theroux. Please send all nude pics of Justin Theroux so me here. Make sure to crop out Jennifer Aniston. Nice person, but Justin's all mine.

So it's kind of a reverse thing. Falling for Justin (my celebrity crush) was at first based on his face, and kind of still is. But then getting more into his body (thank you tight jeans, thank you loose sweatpants, thank you thank you) is like a reveal. But with jocks, it's like I don't necessarily believe they'll have the personality that shines, just the body that hypnotizes. What's insane is of course those guys are out there who have it all (the all in my eyes) and I think I have some anti-jock bias where I just can't imagine it. Could that super stud make me laugh? Make me dinner? Make me love?

I say yes. Super jock. Super guy. Super everything. I'll take one.

Did you know that when two guys are worked out as hell, the most appropriate (and sexually entertaining) thing to do is flip-flop fuck?