Top #Selfies of the Week: Party-Sized Cock

A workout routine is very important. For your throat. Let's do one together! First relax your jaw muscles. Open wide. Breathe deeply and slowly through your nose. All in preparation to make best friends with long, thick cock.

Because some cocks demand to be taken care of. And not every throat will do. Some cocks have more in common with toilet plungers than gerkins. More in common with a water bottle full of semen than a #2 pencil. Some cock needs to be sucked fervently, desperately, voraciously, intensely and repeatedly.

Here I've been looking for someone with a great personality. what the hell have I been thinking!? If the dick is right, who cares about the rest? One syllable conversation is fine, including if my side of it is unintelligible. It's not like I have that much interesting stuff to say anymore. I mean I don't even read the New York Times anymore. Though in a pinch the print edition is really good for packing up dishes for a big move.

Can you tell I sometimes wish I were intensely cock-focused and didn't actually care about someone's personality? And looks where it's gotten me. There isn't a cock in my mouth right now! What the fuck is that about?

My new goal is to burst into occupied toilet stalls and wait for magic to happen. Maybe I'll catch someone mid-selfie. And if they don't accidentally drop their phone into the toilet, they could end up having a few shots of me sucking their cock. As long as they get me from my best side, which is any angle as long as I have a big dick in my mouth.

Here's one of those unhinge your jaw moments to ponder.