Top #Selfies of the Week: New Definition of Manspreading

Not "manspreading" as in self-entitled men spreading their legs ultra-wide on crowded public transportation taking multiple seats because they are just so important. But "manspreading" as in check out these hot, fucking guys because I'm going to spread so they can have a hot, fucking time in my hot, fucking hole.

Yeah, I said hole.

Am I physically and emotionally prepared for this type of spreading? Probably not but that's what big dicks and muscles and hairy chests are for because they make everything so much better.

Like were you making breakfast and you got it just how you want but then you dropped it all on the floor? Suck a big dick!

Or were you shopping for clothes and they don't have your size and the sale is ending and you won't have anything to wear to the big dance? Suck a bigger dick?

Or were you super confused because you realize you never learned how to read and you've been pretending this whole time, including buying the print edition of the New York Times and not following a word? Milk a cock with your asshole! Twice!

Personally, I really should buy a new pillow. Mine is getting a bit flat. Hoping a muscular, hairy chest can solve that dilemma. They give great neck support and work in all seasons. 

Unless your pillow has to get up to pee. Then you're screwed.