Top #Selfies of the Week: Look at My Fucking Body

Mirrors are for a lot of things, like if it's 1984, you can tease your hair sky high in front of one and mousse the hell out of your do, then go to the mall and flirt with 19-year-old security guard dudes until they get at least half hard from the attention. Or if it's 2014, you can snap a selfie in front of a mirror and post it because you want everyone to look at your fucking body now.

And everyone includes any random 19-year-old security guard dudes. Moral of the story? Whether it's 1984 or 2014, 19-year-old security guard dudes will always end up popping boners.

Now I could talk about (starting bottom row) how hot it is to see an otherwise fully-dressed man flashing cock, or that nice thick cock bulge on Mr. Beefcake. Or I could opine on the nice, lean torso and upturned erection on the bearded guy or the massive chest and ripped abs of the brain surgeon in the workout shorts. And I could even talk about the pert little tatted ass of the fella in the top row. But I'm not.

No, instead, I'm going to talk about how fucking low the balls hang on Mr. Tattoo. Only one is partially visible, but you know whenever a sack extends at least 1/3 of the way down to a guys knees, that's a ball alert situation. That's right, ball alert, calling all ball lovers to unite! Find and worship this guy's sack with all the ball love you can.

Or just jerk off to his pics. That works too. Jerking off is generally always a good choice.