Top #Selfies of the Week: Muscle Stars

Can someone be a selfie star? Pretty much if they say they're a star, they are. Because once you go down the road of "YouTube Star" then all bets are off.

In fact, I'm a toilet star. I am the most popular user of my toilet. Which explains the constant stream of paparazzi in my bathroom. They just can't get enough.

By the way, that is exactly the type of conversation I'd have with one of these guys in person, because I'd have no idea what to say to them.

Luckily, they wouldn't be paying any attention to me anyhow (too busy thinking about their next workout) so I could talk about anything in the world and it would all be white noise.

I imagine these are the type of guys who would punch you in the face if you blocked their light. I'm wrong, but it's what I imagine anyhow. I haven't really known any musclemen to the point where I could disprove my stereotypes.

This, I'm sure, is my loss. Maybe someday, I'll hire some to pose for me. If I'm not married at 80, I'll for sure do that. Unless shirtless muscle guys is some sort of public service at gay retirement villages. I should hope so. Because the last thing I want is to be gay bashed at an old folk's home. It was enough being gay bashed in kindergarten. Full circle is not where it's at.

Okay, I'll ditch my stereotypes and talk to muscle guys like real people. Oh wait, I have no idea what to say to real people anyhow, besides telling them that their muscles aren't big enough.

Clearly, muscle puts me in a tizzy. Oh well, maybe they can forgive my confusion and I can just stare. Which is pretty much what they're doing to themselves. It would just mean following their lead. I can do that.