Top #Selfies of the Week: Monster in His Pants

Do you have monster-dar? That's the sexual perception phenomenon in which you can tell if a guy has a monster cock. And I don't mean you can tell when he's hard and naked and it's in your face because if you couldn't tell in that situation it means you're really focusing too much on texting. 

No, I mean when you can tell a guy has a monster cock when he's dressed and not necessarily showing bulge. Because bulge-dar just means you can tell he has a bulge of some sort. That doesn't mean monster-cock. He could be a shower not a grower. Or maybe he's wearing that misleading padded underwear. Really what's the point of that in real life? It is just good for JCPenney catalog modeling, because everyone likes those fellas to have solid bulges. Since the clothes are so hideous, best to call attention to the bulge.

I personally don't have monster-dar. I just have no fucking idea and so few people wear super tight pants anymore. I get there are the stretch jeans but they aren't necessarily designed to showcase bulge. Rather they often will just flatten it out. With more guys aware that other guys are looking (and some of those guys not into that kind of attention) it's not surprise that bulges are becoming a rarified commodity, unless you're lucky (or unlucky) enough to live in a hot climate where fewer clothes are required.

i just can't tell though. Big hands don't mean anything. Nor do big feet or big nose or big wallet. Who the hell knows? And do I have time to ask? Nope. So if you're wanting monster cock to play with one time or marry (and hopefully play with thousands of times), the probably tell folks: "Into double digit cock. In inches, not centimeters." Or just get a "Must be this big to ride this ride" tattoo on your lower back.

Or an "If you don't make me gag, I'm not interested." t-shirt.

I'm shocked you haven't followed through on all of my ideas by now. Oh well, if I can have any impact, how about you actual monster cock guys wear some tighter clothes? Seriously, tighter. Make a point of it. Hell, make a bulge of it. For all our sakes. Otherwise, you'll never find someone only interested in you for your cock, and isn't that what you want? 

Okay, it's not, but at least they'd be interested in you, right? And maybe one of the won't be a total jerk. Pretty good odds. there. It just takes the one. I'll expect a wedding invitation. But don't count on a gift. I found you your husband/trick. That's gift enough.