Hey look, it's a bunch of guys who are not my fuck buddy! Because I don't have a fuck buddy! But I can look, right? And so can you.
Maybe I should focus on having a fuck enemy. They say makeup sex can be the best, but that requires being in a relationship to start, then having a conflict, then making up, then having sex. That's way too much work.
So if you just start as enemies, you can go right to the makeup sex. Plus it's easy to be someone's enemy. For some people, that's just a matter of being yourself and people will automatically be your enemy.
Others may require a bit more effort. But through passive aggressiveness, showing up late, badmouthing them to their friends, or stealing their favorite hoodie, you too can be someone's enemy and then have sex with them that is awesome.
I think I just described Grindr.
Oh well, for now maybe just stick to looking and not touching. Except yourself. And if you've been overly tough on yourself lately, then have makeup sex with yourself. I give that the GayDemon stamp of homosexual approval, which isn't a thing but I say it is, so it is now.
Do you know a store that makes stamps?