Top #Selfies of the Week: Dude Cock

Hey, dude! Check out this dude cock, dude! Then let's go to the sports game that involves teams and balls and points. Or maybe a puck. Then let's have light beers, dude! Did I do a good job passing for a dude just now?

The light beer thing killed it. Dudes don't care about carbs. They just want to get wasted and flash cock. Or probably. I mean, obviously I have no idea.

I have heard people say the word dude though. Gay guys say it even. To each other. Unironically. And other things like chill out or 'sup or bro. Sometimes they combine them all like: "'Sup, dude! Want to chill out on my couch and I can suck your cock, bro? Over really, really heavy, definitely not light beers."

I've totally overheard that. Word for word. On a daily basis.

Is there even a male language like that? And how do you learn it? I think it may involve fraternities at state colleges. And straight guy gay porn sites. Yes, blame dude cock on Broke Straight Boys.

Blame it hard. Blame it up and down. Blame it twice a day minimum, dude.