Top #Selfies of the Week: Clothes Are Soooo 2015

1 Mar 2016

Top #Selfies of the Week: Clothes Are Soooo 2015

Trend alert! Clothes are over. At least when you're at home. Alone. With a cell phone in your hand. In front of a mirror. And turned on.

As a reminder, you may want to consider sticking some masking tape to the floor of your entryway. Once you cross that line, it needs to be without clothes. So this will create a new furniture type: the console dresser.

You know, as compared to a console table. That skinny table with a single vase and magazine on it. Nope, you need all your clothes to be at your entryway for easy off/on.

Top #Selfies of the Week: Clothes Are Soooo 2015

I would also suggest the living room bathroom mirror. May as well have a big room in which to take selfies. And not everyone has a wall mirror in their bedroom. We can't all have 1950s-style apartments.

Though the ultimate accessory would be the naked guy himself. Or themselves. I much prefer the idea of three or more naked guys to just one. Hopefully there would be some sort of bulk discount.

Of if the naked guys weren't escorts who charged, then just some sort of bulk relationship, where my minimal levels of seduction and charm could be applied en masse. That way I only have charm the pants off a guy once and it's like charming the pants off a dozen guys. 

This is the point at which someone needs to point out to me that most guys are alone when they shoot a selfie. That's mostly the point. But is is so wrong to want to be invited? How do I crash a selfie party? Maybe I could market myself as "Human Selfie Stick"? Who needs that device to take better selfies, when I can take selfies for you. Just pretend you're fully alone. Don't mind what I'm doing with my other hand. 

I'm just balancing my checkbook. The checkbook I carry in my underwear. Yeah, that's it! Totally not masturbating at all. Even a bt. Nope.