We have a big dick situation and I'm not sure who to call for help. I tried Comcast customer service but as purveyors of internet service, they are really not the best folks to react swiftly to a big dick situation. One might even suggest Internet Service Provider be replaced as a term by Internet Big Dick Provider.
If Comcast is yours, you may want to check your bill to make sure they don't charge you by the inch. Because if they do, this post may put you over your limit.
But going over dick limits can be pretty fun, so fuck it. I suppose not everyone can be a porn model, including not every big dick, hot-bodied fella. Otherwise some of these cocks would be swallowed up in the system.
Rather than just swallowed up by extremely exhausted, worn out, stretched out underwear and mouths.
In case you're wondering my political position, I'm pro big dick, anti-fascist. An important distinction since (Tom of Finland drawings aside, and they were still art), there is nothing sexy about fascism. Who knows, fascist leadership could even ban porn (starting with the same sex porn of course). And who wants that?
Not even homophobic, secret gay porn masturbators want that. And if it does ever happen, it will be up to all of us to masturbate to porn as a political statement. May as well take a deep breath and start practicing.