Top #Selfies of the Week: Major Jock Obsession

What horrible music do you think these guys listen to while they work out? I'll ask more nicely. What music do you think these guys listen to while they work out? So whatever I say next won't offend anyone if it's what you're into.

I'm going to guess Britney, Britney, Britney Britney, Jimmy Buffett, Britney.

This just in! It's not 1999 anymore. I'll try again.

Rihanna, Rihanna, Rihanna, Rihanna, Jimmy Buffett, Britney. Because it's still 1999 for that last guy.

This just in! It's not 2014 anymore.

Ariana Grande, Ariana Grande, Ariana Grande, Ariana Grande, Jimmy Buffett, Rihanna. That last guy is always a bit behind. Though him finally giving up on Britney is a good sign. Meanwhile, she still makes about $10,000 a minute.

I'm kind of obsessed with jocks and I really don't want to hear any of their favorite music unless I get to decide what's playing. It'll be some song about pecs or ass or ass pecs or whatever body part that's so defined on them and not necessarily even noticeable on someone else. Like, oh, I didn't know the human body could do that.

But it can. And for that I'm thankful. If anyone reading this is a major jock, time for more pushups. It's important you rip your shirt when you flex. Both I and shirt manufactures would greatly appreciate that.