Something for the Weekend: Free Meat!

Want free meat? You can either hook up with some guy on Craigslist (yeah, that will go well) or enter this contest for a month's supply of dickmeat! Forget the fact that this call for submissions (masquerading as a contest) in a minimum of 30 years old and the magazine FirstHand has been defunct since I'm guessing the mid '90s. It's not too late to enter.

Because maybe whoever holds that PO Box used to run FirstHand and still has some old issues laying around. Hey, if Keanu Reeves is a famous actor, anything can happen. Notice I didn't say well-respected actor. I'm not insane.

So here's my attempt to share "every graphic detail" of my "most memorable sexploits" or whatever.

So there was this guy and he took his penis out or I took it out actually and then he stuck it in my mouth a few times and then he stuck it in my ass a few times and then I did the same to him minus the ass part because he liked it in his mouth mostly. It was in his dimly lit apartment and the blinds were open and the people in the building across the way could probably see and that's what made it hot because he was kinda dumb.

Hmmm, not sure that's hot enough. I'll try again.

So there was this guy and he was on the train and he was hot and he had a suitcase which had wheels. I asked if he was visiting and he said yes and then we talked about stupid stuff like the train and things. He'd been cruising me a few times when I'd been sitting further back and I moved closer to where he was sitting to make an attempt to win him forever. So I said do you want company in your hotel room right now and he said yes and we had the sex in there. Or actually I didn't ask that and we got off the train and that's it but the hotel room sex would make a better story.

Can I have some free meat now?