Something for the Weekend: Vintage Gay Fashions

You're lucky you're reading this because otherwise you would have no fucking idea how to wear a kaftan. Nor would you necessarily know that it can also be spelled caftan if I hadn't told you just now. Because it's impossible to figure out how to wear a free-flowing robe/tunic. Difficulty level 40 times more than tying your own bow tie.

What I like about the guy rollerskating in shorts is he's figured out a practical way to dress like a fag and have a ready escape from bashers. Or a ready way to bash back should he want to speed toward a homophobic villain (like 1982 Donald Trump) and pike him with the business end of a rainbow flag.

"Summer Sage for Males" calls to mind my dating life, which consists of vainly trying to order the outfits advertised here from a catalog that's been out of business since 1964. Now I'll never look good at the pre-gay lib pool party!

This butch look is pretty much iconic, for gay and straight guys. But it tends to be more effective for a gay guy seeking cock than for a straight guy seeking cock. Because straight guys don't seek cock. Ever. They want nothing to do with it. Including their own. No cock for them. Totally straight. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. Straight butch equals totally straight.

Which reminds me: celebrate Pride Month by recruiting. An effective way is to dress a guy in jeans and a leather jacket with no shirt on. Things happen to guys dressed like that. Just ask macho stud Barbra Joan Streisand, who rocks this look all the time.

Or ask these half-naked guys. They have lots of stories to tell.

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