Something for the Weekend: Superheroes to the Rescue

To be fair, these air quotes superheroes might be too occupied jacking off or bound or self-absorbed in the mirror to offer much in the form of a rescue from any situation.

Plus the guy on the top right is about to do his laundry and accidentally lock himself out of his apartment so he's going to need his own rescuing from an understanding locksmith.

And the guy in blue is going to be too busy returning his spandex bodysuit because it clearly has a hole in the middle he didn't notice when he first tried it on. Clearly a defect and he'll be on his way back to Nordstrom Rack in moments. So you can just stay trapped in that well you fell into because he's not about to save you. Though he may accidentally ejaculate down the well which could raise the water level a bit and get you a smidge closer to the surface.

Classic red and blue Spiderman is attempting to rescue you from seeing his bulge. But who wants that kind of rescue? My Spidey Sense is definitely not tingling.

But ultimately it's the bound, evil Spidey who can actually rescue you. Such as if you're a combination bondage top/oral bottom because his dick is just about ready to shoot spiderwebs of cum through the fabric and you'll want it to splatter and stick to your face. He can totally help you with that, feeding the cock hungry. And just in general posing for hilariously kinky photos.

He can also save your floors from any mess, because, yes, that's a tarp with its edges taped to the wall. He's as much of a superhero as Mighty Maids, Inc.

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