Public Exposure: Flashers

Flashing isn't just the guy opening up his trench coat to reveal the only thing he's wearing underneath is another trench coat, then opening that trench coat to reveal a huge, dangling penis.

Because otherwise everyone would be buying stock in trench coat companies. And, if you want to complete the pervert outfit, scuffed up black dress shoes with laces that are too long.

Nope, flashers also create opportunities for eager watchers, not just a wake of offended people decrying their scandalous nudity.

Which means I'm going to become a truck driver so I can see that guy flashing me by the side of the highway, a completely safe act assuredly. No risk there for Mr. Naked Highway.

Then I'll become a mail carrier so I can run into the naked guy in his apartment building lobby. "Here's your J. Crew catalog. Oh wait you don't need it. I'll just recycle it for you."

Train flashers have my utmost respect. And hopefully they also have extremely strong immune systems in case any of their bare skin touches the well-worn seats. And extremely good lawyers because trains are generally full of security cameras.

The guy riding his bicycle bare assed and the guy naked in the public park mean I'm already geared up for summer. As for the guy flashing his cock at the gym, it's possibly only to himself for a second, so rather low risk, but it does remind me to keep an eye on guy's crotches at the gym at all times. In case some part of them says hi.