Holes Are Awesome

Like OMG, you should totally go to the mall and get something pierced. There's that dick piercing parlor named The Shiny Cock right next to Pies Pies Pies (which sells pies). Then there's a nip piercing parlor called Big Sam's Nipple Goodies Emporium. Big Sam, what a great gal! And there's a kinda sleazy place that will pierce absolutely anything. Every fifth piercing, the piercer guy ejaculates on you. That place is called Macy's.

If it can be pierced, someone's done it. Lots of metal in the pics above, but of course there are so many options for shapes and materials, depending on what you're getting pierced. Glass plugs for earrings. Wood, amber, different colored metals, silicone, discarded giraffe tonsils, whatever.

So here's the thing. Piercings are jewelry, but they can be functional jewelry. Gagging, tugging, calling attention to where and what you want, asserting preferences. Piercing is communication.

Are you pierced anywhere? Do you dig it on a guy? I actually think less guys are getting pierced ears even. In my non-scientific study, it seems it's been a majorly long time since a single earring (or pair) were a way to flag sexual identity. Less guys with pink/blue/green/orange hair too. Or I'm not going where they are.

Damien Wolfe has a sweet eyebrow piercing. Those are an emo twink porn thing now. He paid for it himself out of his velcro wallet.

My favorite? A businessman in a perfectly fitting suit, tight dress shirt, and punky earrings like black plugs or stainless steel eyelets. Makes you wonder about his proclivities. Besides his obvious proclivity toward capitalism.