It's raining jocks. And snowing jocks. And there's the very real threat of being buried in jocks. And flooded in jocks.
Now why aren't you showing the slightest bit of concern and alarm? It's almost like you want to be overloaded with jocks. Well, like people who choose to hang dockside to watch tidal waves because they are so awesome, I guess you'll get what you have coming to you. Or on you.
People need to be way more descriptive in their personal ads. If you don't ask for what you want, you'll never get it. So why not putting it out there that you want a soccer team. It's not like you'd require them to be a champion soccer team, just a highly sexual one.
Or ask for a pile of speedos. Full of men .Just don't expect the speedos to be highly verbal if you're into dirty talk. They just know one word. And "chlorine" isn't super sexy. So you will need to depend on the jocks who wear the speedos to be present.
As for the severe weather warning, I recommend man-proof gear, like pleated corduroy pants or 70 shirts worn simultaneously.
Or just fuck jocks. As in sex fuck. Not fuck over. Handsome, popular jocks have enough problems in this world. Trying to get cum stains out of everything.
[Photo via Hot Sports Bulges & Butts]