Guy Watching: Putting the Beef in Cake Guy Watching: Putting the Beef in Cake

All those protein powders have to end up somewhere. And that somewhere is right inside these dumb jocks. I have no proof these guys are dumb. I just hope they are because then they'll fall for stupid as fuck opening lines such as: "If I told you that you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?" Or the classic "If I told you that you have a beautiful body, would you fuck me in the mouth?"

That second one is more of a higher-risk opening line, as say it to the wrong guy and he may punch you in the mouth, which isn't quite what you're going for I imagine.

But maybe you can invest in a massage table and offer free massage to jocks who'd rather spend their money on workout gear, power foods and lube. Sure if you offer a guy a free massage, it will totally put you in a more submissive, slavish position. And good for you!

But it also gets a muscular stud on your massage table nude (or nearly so) and receptive. Or if not receptive, then bitchily demanding, which can be hot too. The key is you need to be able to give a good massage otherwise it will be a one time thing. Or even less than that if he walks out. So take a workshop or two and make it happen.

Then seek out willing participants who are, like I've said, as dumb as possible. So when your entire massage consists of an hour-long pec rub, it will seem perfectly fine. Though even the dumbest of jocks may get slightly suspicious of an hour-long glute rub.

So tack on five minutes of cocksucking and the guy will be none the wiser.

[Photos via NYC Hot Guys, Touch Me Coach and Hot Sport Bulges and Butts]

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