In the grand opposite tradition of Jonny McGovern's Look at Huh web series (part of the Hey Qween! empire), I present Look at Him. Because Jonny would want it that way.
So in Look at Huh, he gets people's reactions (shady or nice) to people they know. I don't know any of these guys (damn it) but I'll pretend I do because pretending is fun. Going top row, left to right, etc.
Look at Him!: Ralph totally fucking stood me up. We'd met on Christian Mingle or J Date, I can't remember if I'm Christian or Jewish. Anyhow, we made a date to meet in the men's room of a pizza parlor but he never showed up. He claims he was at the same-named pizza parlor across the street but he's a fucking liar. And here he is, flashing his bulge for the public. It's over between us.
Look at Him!: I mean (whisper) look at him because if he wakes up he might adjust his expanding crotch and unexpand it. And it's just dandy the way it is. Rick's had a hard day of final exams and he's only been able to jack off under his desk three times. What a charmer.
Look at Him!: Yeah, Sam, I get it. You have awesome hair. Whatever asshole. And have you heard of underwear?
Look at Him!: Latifah (yeah Queen Latifah isn't the only Latifah out there) confessed to me he loves to feel his bike vibrate against his swollen crotch. He just rides around in circles until he ejaculates in his jeans. A perfect use of jeans but a real waste of gasoline.
Look at Him!: Seth tends to get drunk, get naked and pass out. He's super awesome at those three things and not much else. Oh yeah, puking too. He's good at that. And caulking a tub. And not giving a fuck.
Look at Him!: Brandon will never be an Olympic medalist. He's always going to be a few hundredths of a second too slow. Lose some weight, Brandon. Show some devotion to your sport.
This has been Look at Him. We now return you to your regularly scheduled pornography.
[Photos via Candid Crotch, Tube Crush and All of the Lycra]