Guy Watching: Hot Crotches

Are you a crotchwatcher? I sure as hell am. Except I never look long enough for something interesting to happen, like a guy interpreting it as my desire for what is contained within. Because depending on the guy, "interesting" could mean him flirting back, sneering, or getting pissed. And I just don't know. Plus eye contact is a safer bet all around.

But really, if we all join forces, we can change the norms of crotchwatching in 2015. No longer will it be quick glances, then pretending to go back to one's fascinating smartphone, or the fascinating store window display, or the fascinating pigeon pecking at crap.

Moving forward, we'll all commit to a minimum five second crotchwatch stare-a-thon. That's five seconds for your eyes to sear in to their target and for the guy to have a full emotional and/or sexual response. Or he could be like the guys at my gym who wear headphones with no music playing just so they can avoid being hit on by other guys. Yes, I heard two of them sharing their secrets for avoiding gay attention. They can ignore us, but they can't stop us from looking!

So yes, staring at a guy's crotch (on the subway, the gym, from one urinal over) is tacky as hell. And that's why it's awesome. We all need a bit more tacky in our lives. And gay culture is getting just a little too cool for school. We need to embarrass ourselves, putting lust front and center. Just remember, if the guy you're staring at hits on you, you're not obligated to do a thing in response. Maybe just say "Thanks for waving your crotch in my face." Then move on to the next one. Or if it's the guy whose dick is accidentally peeking out of his shorts (like the clueless guy above) don't tell him. Just take a picture (a mental one or actual one) and thank the universe for his careless exposure.

By the way, you may have noticed but there are plenty of crotches to see right here on GayDemon. Might I suggest clicking literally anything on this page. You're basically guaranteed cock and/or cock-related items. Pretty sweet deal!

[Photos via Private Made Public, NYC Hot Guys abd Dick Slips]