Guy Watching: Committing Public Hunkiness Guy Watching: Committing Public Hunkiness

Arrest these men for Class A Felony of Public Hunkiness. And warn them that even the commission of Private Hunkiness is a misdemeanor (ironically because hunkiness technically should be shared).

The reason why it is a felony in public though is because of all the societal problems it creates. It's distracting to drivers and even pedestrians or just people standing around or working somewhere. Like if the guy in the white shorts who apparently possesses the elusive Bubble Butt Gene would kill someone in the wrong situation.

If he walked through an operating room during brain surgery and the surgeon couldn't take his eyes off that ass, he could easily kill his patient. And that ass would be responsible. Technically it's Aggravated Public Hunkiness due to the tight white shorts.

Definitely premeditated as it required a great deal of exercise in advance. This crime is a drain on all of us, magnifying societal ills while destroying the fragile economy of Rhode Island, which (news flash!) is not even a fucking island.

Flashing bare chest/nip/abs/shoulders is clearly criminal. The nerve of people. They may as well whip out their cocks on the bus. Seriously they may as well. So guys, message me and I'll tell you what bus I'm going to be on so you can do that. But I'll still have to report you to the authorities. It's called being a good samaritan. A citizen's arrest may be required and clothing may need to be confiscated as evidence.

I also may need to confiscate the lack of clothing, which because taking away something that isn't there is impossible, it will just be me and partially naked guys for a really long time while I try.

The law is the law.

[Photos via Every Day Hotness]

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