Guy Watching: Check Me Out

Check out my cock! No, how dare you check out my cock! Check out my bulge, my ass, my everything! Don't look at me!

I officially cannot tell when someone wants to be checked out or not. It's like the next level of not being able to tell if a guy is gay or not. Not that a guy being gay is a requirement to be able to get off on staring or sneaking a glance at him. Even before the whole metrosexual thing, gaydar got really confused at some point in the '80s when straight guys got into hair gel. That's my theory.

And now I can't tell if a guy is showing off or not. Take the spandex biker. He's a pro biker so that's his gear, but his bulge is obscene. Does he get off on flashing that serious of a bulge? Or does he not fucking care or notice?

The toilet jackers are probably not counting on being watched, but jacking off in semi-public is still sort of an invitation. Unless you're fully being locked doors, jacking off in your prepper/survivalist bomb shelter in complete darkness and you've bought all the night vision goggles in your town, it's possible you're being watched. Because the thing about toilets in locker rooms or anywhere, is that toilet stalls don't have ceilings. And even if you're jacking off at home, your pervy roommate may have put a cam in a vent to record your penis time.

So if you jack off in semi-public, is that a way to say check me out? Or are people's attention so drawn elsewhere that you'd have to scream "Check out my naked cock while I jerk my naked cock for you to see right now with no risk of negative repercussions!" because that's a lot to scream.

So more than ever, I feel the need to be able to read between the lines. I guess it's safe to say that most guys are generally jerk-off fiends and would probably get off being watched, whether they are officially showing off or not. I'll just go with that and stare.

By the way, any plans for Valentine's Day? Doing what this video is called would be a solid choice and make a lot of people very happy. Deeply so.

[Photos via Flashrs and Spy on Cocks]