Flashback: Vintage Muscle Men

Body standards have changed. As you can easily tell by looking at a 1970s vs. present-day  G.I. Joe doll (I mean action figure of course as boys don't play with dolls as that would be super gay). 

But the muscles have changed into ginormous bulging things beyond human proportion. So vintage muscle is a different thing. Of course there were giant muscle guys back then too but they were mostly busy in gladiator movies or as backup for Mae West's 1950s stage show (or both).

Now look close and you'll see that's not two Burt Reynoldses wrestling, despite the similar pose to his classic nearly  nude Cosmopolitan magazine spread. (I really don't know the plural of Burt Reynolds sorry). Because he has a mustache and non-visible penis. Oh well.

Again, I briefly misspell mustache and moustache. Which technically is someone holding a mouse above their upper lip. A definite lifestyle choice there.

So the solo guy with his hands on his hips. Yeah him. I want him. Yep. If there's anything you can do to make that happen, feel free. Maybe try to set us up on a date.

Or I'll just head to Big Cocks Unlimited Superstore and hang out in aisle 6. He should amble along soon enough. Or make that Aisle 10. For obvious reasons.

Yes, I'm in denial he's probably in his 50s or 60s now. Oh wait, that sounds perfect though. I'm going to go print a t-shirt with his picture on it until he finds me, which is guaranteed to succeed. I'm very practical.